I need to learn the ropes...pun intended

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I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/14/2007 10:41:26 PM

stumpy79

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So I am dating this girl and she is into the whole submissive-tie me up -choke me thing... cool I'm open to anything. Problem is I am clueless as to what I should try on her. I've tied her to the bed, used the scarf around her neck, the belt, candle wax and ice cubes, and the 'your a dirty slut' talk. After that I'm lost... I asked her what she likes and if any of it was 'too much', and she enjoyed what I did but won't tell me what else she enjoys, she said 'it takes the fun out of it'. HELP ME?? I want to please her but I am clueless. tips? hints? pointers?

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/14/2007 10:45:33 PM

FunLuvinNJf

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Joined: 12/22/2006
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I suggest learning more about BDSM, perhaps going to www.castlerealm.com

Also, join some local BDSM groups, you may find some bondage classes and other BEDSM related classes. If you are in the Phila area, let me know and I can help.

Lady J

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/14/2007 11:48:50 PM

Nikodemus

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I agree. In my experience communication is the key to good d/s relationships. If she doesn't want to tell you because it will take the fun out of it then your best bet is to get some experience with some safe things and try them out. Personally I would try to get her to talk. Maybe you could do something you know she likes and in the heat of the moment get her to give you some more ideas.

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/14/2007 11:58:59 PM

stumpy79

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She's definatly not a talker during sex, I tried that but othewise good advice...

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 2:06:45 AM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stumpy79

So I am dating this girl and she is into the whole submissive-tie me up -choke me thing... cool I'm open to anything. Problem is I am clueless as to what I should try on her. I've tied her to the bed, used the scarf around her neck, the belt, candle wax and ice cubes, and the 'your a dirty slut' talk. After that I'm lost... I asked her what she likes and if any of it was 'too much', and she enjoyed what I did but won't tell me what else she enjoys, she said 'it takes the fun out of it'. HELP ME?? I want to please her but I am clueless. tips? hints? pointers?

Well, if she won't tell you what she enjoys, then trying doing the stuff that 'you' enjoy. Just go slow, attend some local classes to learn some techniques if you can, maybe join a local group and keep having fun. Good luck to you.

Celeste

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 3:22:49 AM

stumpy79

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I guess what am really asking is "What are some good introductory things that I could try?" Kind of some baby steps to start with that I could build up from. I guess I just am not creative/comfortable enough and would like some pretty 'standard or basic' things to start with. It's not that I don't find the idea exciting I am just nervous. The going to groups idea is out I would not be comfortable with that at this time... the future would be a different story once I get some experience under my belt.

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 3:27:44 AM

bandit25

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You don't have to wait until you get experience. At the clubs I've been to, many people just go to socialize. You talk, you look, you learn.

Oh, and I agree with Celeste...try doing what you like. If you go too far, she'll let you know.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 1/15/2007 3:28:11 AM >

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 4:23:16 AM

stumpy79

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Well... it's a thought, and I do like to 'look'... how would I go about finding these clubs?

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 6:41:09 AM

mnottertail

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www.drkdesyre.com slosh around till you find a button called organizations.

Go get 'em tiger!!!!!

Ron

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 7:13:05 AM

Devilslilsister

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have you tried sensory deprivation? Blind fold her.. ear plugs.....

You could tie her down.. blind fold her.. use ear plulgs.. make it so she cant see or figure out where you are or what your doing.. and then take your time. Use a feather on her.... drape it all over her body.. walk away... come back later.. pour abit of wax on her.. walk away....

And heck if you tie her face down - you can come back and slightly spank her bottom.. Going through a variety of different things to do. Tickling.. biting.. nibbling.. licking..

Is she just into the bedroom things, or a full on submissive?

When it comes to that time of "getting dirty" you could tell her to crawl over to you and take your shoes off.. have her undress you... kiss/lick/worship your feet and have her do it to your whole body. Eventually have her kneel face down with her rear end up in the hair. Lightly tap her vagina.. maybe pinch it abit.. spank her bottom..

One must always pinch the nipples too.. from light pinches to owwwww!

Instead of doing a normal bj you can always help her out by shoving her face down.. called face f*cking.

you could try role playing different scenarios like doctor/ nurse - teacher/student - you get the point

Anything that can be phsycially stimulating.. feathers.. scarves.. flowers.. pokey things.. tickling.. can be used to enhance the time..

Ask her if she likes pain.... i know about a zillion ways to cause pain.

BUT - i'm not a bedroom submissive so i really havent a clue. Hope this helps in some way!

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 8:14:22 AM

MasterGremlin

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www.literotica.com

This is a collection of stories that could give you alot of ideas. Also I would recommend you read the book SM 101. It has a lot of good information for beginners especially about safety. You can get it online from www.amazon.com
Cordially,
minxy

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RE: I need to learn the ropes...pun intended - 1/15/2007 8:35:45 AM

griffn

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First I would suggest buying the book Screw the roses send me the thorns and read it cover to cover. Go slow the joy is in the journey not the destination. All of the suggestions here are fine just remember to get educated on what ever it is you want to try before you try it and get her consent. You wouldnt want to mess up a good thing. Try some sensual things like silk scarves or blindfold her and play a guessing game of what is in your pussy now. But above all else have fun and play safe. Good luck!

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