quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Right now, the real world has me a little too stressed and upset to form a proper response to this. But I'm FTM TS, and you can always message me on the other side if you want someone who was in a similar state not long ago, sexual issues included.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

At age 22, I wouldn't worry about it.   You'll figure things out as you go along in life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: deeddlit

On Logo one evening I was watching an interview with one person that I found to be incredibly facinating.  While geneticaly female, she does not subscribe to either gender at all.  She prefers to just be seen as a person and seems to be pushing all the so called gender rules right out of her way.  She seemed to maintain a rather androgenous look leaning slightly to the masculine.  She seemed to love pushing peoples gender issue buttons as a way to not necesarily upset them but I think more than anything to make them aware of them.  Usualy the more we are aware of something it seems to always get us talking and of course talking is always better than pretending it is not there.  I was very facinated with her story.  She was in college at the time of the interview and was focusing her education on gender issues.  What a terribly interesting college career, at least from my perspective.

Take care,
Ladydeeddlit

quote:

ORIGINAL: BendingGender

Hello everyone.

For a long time I've been finding myself faced with certain questions that I cannot answer at the moment.

I've not had any sort of surgery or hormonal treatments to alter my gender. But when I imagine myself having intercourse with another person (regardless of their sex) I always seem to picture myself as some sort of hybrid, with parts from both male and female forms, or entirely the opposite gender.

I find it, thus far, impossible to have satisfying sex as I am presently.
If we were living in a world hundreds of years into the future with such extreme advancements in science and medicine, so as to allow someone to change their sex as easily as they changed their socks, I know I'd leap at the chance to go between the two as often as I changed my mind. However, while I would enjoy being able to slide to and from my current gender, I don't want to be permanently trapped behind a single mask.

So the questions I find myself unable to answer are as follows:
- Am I destined to be discontent with who and what I am?
- Does this mean I'm to forever be sexually frustrated and unfulfilled?
- Are there others in a similar situation who face the same peculiarities?
- Is it possible for two very different people to inhabit the same physical presence?

I realize that a good bit of what I question can only be answered by me. I suppose I come to you all in search of someone who has felt incomplete or simply wrong in their own skin. And, hopefully, in finding someone such as that... I may also find an answer or two.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

To me, domination is a masculine energy, so it makes sense to me that you feel like your a woman (cause thats what you physically are) and you feel masculine energy cause you are relating to dominant energy. I think we all have a bit of both inside us.

When I think about it and delve into myself, I feel pretty neutral on a day to day functional basis, not female, not male, yet have the qualities of both that can be applied to the situations in life to best get things done.

In sexuality, and without going into this too much, I believe sexuality has everything to do with relationship, it takes a dominant man to overcome my neutrality and call forth my femininity and it is that alchemical process that brings relationship into being. I believe our physical bodies are actually vessels for transmission of energy, and our organs have the ability to channel particular energies suited to it. Example: our physical hearts can actually channel love as an energy. ..so it makes sense to me..because I have a female form, that the most compatable energy to channel is femininity within relationship......its not that I can't display masculine type traits..but for the energy to be flowing completely and wholey...the juice thats flowing has to be compatable with the engine using it. (You can run a car on the wrong oil but it wont be as powerful as running it on the correct oil).

In relationship, I think how we feel about our sexuality and what we are feeling in it, has a lot to do with our partners (dependant of course on the fact that you're actually having a *relate*ionship with someone else and not just yourself..which i think a lot of people who look like they are in a relationship with another person, actually aren't..but thats a whole nother topic)...because relationship itself is entirely an entity unto itself, created by two people submitting to each other,  resultant from the equational conclusion of the combined energy each is capable of chanelling and bringing to the relationship.

Anyways, its from this understanding, that i can comprehend why men can feel feminine, and women can feel masculine...and its all good as long as you find a compatable partner.

Too weird?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jauque

Logo is a television network devoted to the Gay and Lebsian and Transgendered community.  I do not have cable TV though so I am not sure of much more beyond that.

As for your quandry I am not sure what can actually be done.  From what I read you don't feel your one sex, or the either but rather netural with desires to be both as the mood suits. 

Surgery/hormones are not an option...not unless you find you make a choice...which doesn't seem to be a choice for you.

So...my advice.  Have you tried perhaps writing out your experiences as though 'changing gender as one changes socks' was an option?  Exploring this concept through a medium that is feasible and allows you to act this out more fully and determine more of the 'why' and move on from there. 

Good luck.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: BendingGender
I'm left to question which came first ~ the chicken (rampant fantasies in which I possess alternative genitalia) or the egg (my complete distaste - and perhaps fear of - "traditional" sex).

Thinking about sexually functioning as the opposite gender arouses me. Thinking about using my current genitalia for anything other than basic bodily functions makes me shudder with disgust.

Have I conditioned myself, I wonder. Or do my fantasies reflect my genuine interests?

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmaslave

I want to throw another $0.02 in.

I was very timid to say anything initially, and I still feel a small sense of fear. However, I did recognize your symptoms, and that is why I referred you to research Gender Disphorea.

I was diagnosed with having gender disphorea at 19. I am now 34 still struggling with some of the symptoms.

**********************

I also wanted to bring this to the table. This is my interpretation of what I have learned.

Some aboriginal cultures had tightly interlinked communities. The elders needed everyone to participate in the culture, or face the possibility of death for the village. To prevent those with mental gender issues from, meandering away, they were assigned “gender neutral” terms and identification and given prominent positions in the community. These Gender neutral people were often councilors and mediators, because of the ability to see the both perspective of all stories. This prominent position often gave them a different focus and a sense of responsibility for the community. That sense of purpose often surpassed their own sense of self, and this settled their mental state substantially. The felt apart of the community rather then outside of it.

In the 1800’s we were married and having children before we were 20. Today some are having children in there 40’s. Although many don’t ever question there gender identity, this child bearing time frame change has afforded some of us to truly think about our desired place in our society. The media has made everyone feel they must fit into tight parameters. (Gender, weight, size, etc.) Some of us don’t buy into those parameters all that well.

Furthermore our western society doesn’t have any “mile markers” or “rites of passage” like some other cultures do. (I.e. Jewish Bat/Bar Mitzvah”. Societal pressures of the 1800’s, tended to force people not to linger on such thoughts, let alone reveal them. They tended to get herded down the gender path. With very little after thought.

Today we have a more liberal minded society. 

So what am I trying to say?


I think there are many others out there like you.
You may not be a typical Westerner, but I think you are far from abnormal.
Truly allow you self to explore this. Enjoy this, if you can. Because if this was 200 years ago, you would likely be called insane, or be labeled a Witch, and assaulted.
Continue doing your Out-reach, and Net-working.
At 22, there are far worse things that could be happening.

And lastly, if you ever need to chat, I am here, or on hotmail or yahoo.

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: BendingGender
I'm left to question which came first ~ the chicken (rampant fantasies in which I possess alternative genitalia) or the egg (my complete distaste - and perhaps fear of - "traditional" sex).

Thinking about sexually functioning as the opposite gender arouses me. Thinking about using my current genitalia for anything other than basic bodily functions makes me shudder with disgust.

Have I conditioned myself, I wonder. Or do my fantasies reflect my genuine interests?

i can certainly relate to that. i've spent a lot of time considering "issues" of gender and sexuality in myself, and have faced the same question of whether thoughts of transgenderism were "genuine", or a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side". Unfortunately, i've been mulling it over for ten years or so and not really reached a conclusion myself. Except that, like you, i could never "pass"

To add to the confusion: do you think that perhaps you're essentially Asexual, and are encountering all these issues because having sexual relationships is what you're "supposed" to do?

Also, have you tried to find a "genderqueer" discussion forum? Folks with that self-identity may best be able to relate to some of the points you bring up, more so than transgendered individuals.

Best of luck to you,

...dave