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Confused - 1/15/2007 4:33:11 AM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

And i still haven't sorted it,to this day,so........

Some years ago,i spotted an ad from a Master that said,play party,$40.00,incudes meal and play.
On checking,found out that he was very sadistic,and offered a warning,(if you are not sure,or don't think you'r up to it, then don't bother turning up).
Being not sure,red flags ect,i decided to pay the fee and drive the hundred miles or so.After greeting,drinks,meal,and great conversation ect,headed for the dungeon.

After sitting for an hour,watching the Sir playing with another,i was ordered to strip and.................................
After what seemed like five minutes,the use of paddels,canes,floggers,singeltails ect,
i was released.
After Sir checked out his handy work,i turned to him,and thanked him very very much,for taking me way past anything i had ever experienced.Sir just smiled and said,no need to thank me,i didn't take you there,you went there youself....So,

I put myself totaly in his hands,i had no control,as to my fate........

Please,did i lead myself,or was i led?.

hcwt1

Post #: 1

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 5:06:48 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Yeah I'm confused. I can't tell if you enjoyed yourself or not.
I would think that you didn't since you seem to still be bothered by this years later.
But then again...I haven't had coffee yet so I'm probably just misinterptetting what you've written. If you enjoyed yourself then it doesn't really matter who led who. If you didn't, probably time to move on past it since it was years ago.

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 2

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 5:32:49 AM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

Oh i enjoyed allwright,stuff dreams are made of,but for myself, i concidered it a learning experience.Was i teaching myself,or was Sir teaching me.

He said,i didn't take you there,you went there youself.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 3

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 5:45:44 AM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

For there to be a reaction,there first has to be some sort of action.......

but Sir allmost denyed by what he said,his part

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 4

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 6:21:51 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HCWT1

For there to be a reaction,there first has to be some sort of action.......

but Sir allmost denyed by what he said,his part

Well, the way i see it, and i am still a novice, is that we choose others to be the catalists. i think that is one of the beautiful things about D/s...at some level we have chosen where we need to go and then we choose the one who can take us there - on both sides of the dynamic.

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 5

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 6:52:16 AM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

dawntreader, Thanks for reply,

I just dont know if its that simple.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 6

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 7:30:46 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I cant speak for him but I will say that this could be two things.

1. A manner for the Dominant to remain humble, viewing himsel asa facilitator of you going where you need to go, as opposed to direcing where you go specificly. Considering the fact that you seem to have had a somewhat casual relationship this could be perfectly healthy.

2. Sir may subcribe to he school of thought, that says " I can make a submissive do anything they really want to" the idea being that a Top removes bariers to the bottom going where they really want to go anyway.

Both perfectly acceptable viewpoints

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 7

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 8:26:00 AM

Nikodemus

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

While the dom certainly provides the authority, the submissive is the one that decides how to take it. He provided the scene and himself, but you went on the journey because you wanted to. Had you not been ready or had you been fooling yourself about your lifestyle choice, it would have been a very different experience even if he had done the exact same thing. That may have been what he meant.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 8

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 8:37:34 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

This will not be popular, and yet that does not mean it should not be said....

There are those who view Tops as "props" (yeah, I sound just like Dr. Seuss), as simply a "means to an end". That absent an ongoing relationship, a bottom can be viewed to be using a Top in much the same manner they would use a vibrator... to achieve gratification.

"Who" is on the other end of whatever toys are being used isn't important, beyond their trustworthiness and proficiency (just as some vibrators are more reliable and effective).

Of course, the same can be said for bottoms, so if one ascribes to this point of view I suppose it must work both ways.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 9

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 8:44:39 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

PT Barnum had no idea how right he was.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 10

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 11:45:18 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HCWT1
Please,did i lead myself,or was i led?.

If you're happy with the results, does it matter?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 11

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 1:23:06 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

Thanks to all,

Archer,In knowing Sir as i do,both choices have merit,but as hard and sardistic as he is,i think he's a very humble man as well.There is alot more to inhance the story of that night,but i wasn't prepard to spell it out here.

Rover,i hope ivé never used a Dom in that way,having never arsked directly for anything,or exspected anything in return.I have allways left how i was treated up to the dom of the moment,and lived with it.

hcwt1

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 12

RE: Confused - 1/15/2007 8:24:32 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HCWT1

dawntreader, Thanks for reply,

I just dont know if its that simple.

your welcome :-) i do think it is possible for it to be that simple however it is only my belief and you need to find yours...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 13

RE: Confused - 1/22/2007 7:40:43 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

In answer to your initial question, it was a little bit you {having the courage to let go completely} and it was the Dom. who may have taken you past where you had gone before but still read you and didn't go to far. A good Master recognizes and reads a slave on her journey with the goal being to take you to the edge but not past. That point will change as you gain experience. One word of caution, not every Dom. is good. You should use a safe word until you get to know their capabilities.

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 14

RE: Confused - 1/25/2007 3:07:32 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HCWT1

And i still haven't sorted it,to this day,so........

Some years ago,i spotted an ad from a Master that said,play party,$40.00,incudes meal and play.
On checking,found out that he was very sadistic,and offered a warning,(if you are not sure,or don't think you'r up to it, then don't bother turning up).
Being not sure,red flags ect,i decided to pay the fee and drive the hundred miles or so.After greeting,drinks,meal,and great conversation ect,headed for the dungeon.

After sitting for an hour,watching the Sir playing with another,i was ordered to strip and.................................
After what seemed like five minutes,the use of paddels,canes,floggers,singeltails ect,
i was released.
After Sir checked out his handy work,i turned to him,and thanked him very very much,for taking me way past anything i had ever experienced.Sir just smiled and said,no need to thank me,i didn't take you there,you went there youself....So,

I put myself totaly in his hands,i had no control,as to my fate........

Please,did i lead myself,or was i led?.

This is what I sometimes refer to as a sub's "dick of submission"....

Think of it like certain males whose only purpose in life seems to be to supply opportunity and transport for wherever their dick may wanna lead them, regardless of consequences....

And so it is that I've noticed a similar thing with many subs and their submission. Most esp newbies eager to taste being dominated without always being sensible with their own safety and well-being where strangers are concerned.

You were led - by your own inner need. The dom was inconsequential beyond being the dom....

Focus.

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 15

RE: Confused - 1/25/2007 3:20:25 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

You bought a service, you got what you paid for.... don't confuse it with D/s

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 16

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