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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Munch and online partners (1/15/2007 7:48:14 AM)
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Well, one reason I prefer finding partners online vs. at munches is that I have an opportunity to learn much, much more about them before an in- person meeting. There is certain information I like to know about a person before I make a decision to pursue a relationship with them or not. In the online realm, I can usually obtain this information very easily from their profile and introductory letter. If there is anything else I want to know about them, I simply e-mail them a list of questions. They are free to ask any questions of Me as well. It takes hours of conversation to obtain this information in person, though I do have a few short-cuts. For example, I ask their marital status very early in the conversation. If they say married, I make it very clear I never, ever, consider a married sub, so if they want to seek out a Domme who does (good luck!), they are free to move on, and we don't waste each other's time. If they appear to be under 35, I kindly tell them I am seeking someone around my own age for a long-term relationship, but would be happy to answer any questions they have about the lifestyle in general.
Another thing I like about getting to know a sub online before an in-person meeting is that it gives me a chance to observe their behavior patterns before we meet. What I often do is set up specific times to first chat online, then on the phone, if all goes well. If the sub is available at the times we set, it helps reassure me that he is a reliable person who keeps his word. If he forgets or blows it off, that forewarns me that there may be trouble down the line. Naturally, if something comes up and he lets me know IN ADVANCE, I am understanding. Only subs who are extremely reliable, have a good memory, and keep their word will cut it with me, and observing their behavior before meeting them gives me some very good clues.
When I first started attending munches and lifestlyle events six years ago, I must say I was very, very disappointed in the quality of subs I met at these events. (By the way, I have been in some long-term relationships during that time, with subs I met online -- I have not been looking for the last six years, LOL). Friends had led me to believe I would find many more sincere, dependable subs, but I found a large percentage of flakes (just as I do online). The difference with online is that they would have been weeded out and there never would even have been an in-person meeting. The only benefits of meeting subs at a munch are 1) I am seeking a person who is open to attending lifestyle events, and if he's at the munch, that proves he is, and 2) you can better tell if there's "chemistry."
I'm certainly still open to possibility of meeting "the one" at a munch, as it has happened to a couple of friends of mine. In all fairness, a sub who ended up with a friend was very interested in me at the first munch he attended, but I was taken at the time and didn't pursue things, though I found him very attractive. He is a dependable person and things might have worked out. A few other friends met their subs at munches, so it is not outside the realm of possibility and I keep an open mind to it.
Lady Topaz
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