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RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/16/2007 6:34:28 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		True, I have not been to many pool parties and noticed that, though I understand many men are insecure about one or two of their parts, lol...  I still think women are much more hateful and hard on each other than the men are on us or one another.   M

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RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/16/2007 6:36:54 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

True, I have not been to many pool parties and noticed that, though I understand many men are insecure about one or two of their parts, lol...  I still think women are much more hateful and hard on each other than the men are on us or one another.   M


That, I can agree with. Women can be very hateful - predatory even, and the people we tend to prey most on are those most like us.

juliet

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Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 3:20:11 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		*laughs!!*  Well, as a large older woman i guess i should be here because it's the only place i can feel like i'm wanted sexually but for some reason that's not my reality.  dammit.  i've been treated like a sex object all my life in the vanilla world and my unrealistic expectation is that i might find a Dom who understands the mental and spiritual aspects of D/s and might actually be looking for a submissive woman not just another set of disembodied holes. 

Seriously, i don't have any expectations whatsoever.  i have hope.  i try not to have too much hope but just enough to see there may be possibilities beyond my current reality.


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Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 3:31:13 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Gezz...don't hold back now.  Tell us what you really think.  Ya wanna know something that bothers me?  Someone who bitches about the thread.  You don't like it...DON'T FUCKING READ IT!  There, now that wasn't so hard, was it?

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 5:54:43 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
She didn't sound like a class act but then again one swallow doesn't make a summer.



How many swallows does it take?



It takes a very greedy girl........especially over here because the rainy season started in 346 AD and has pretty much continued ever since. The more the merrier!

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 12:51:21 PM   
gentlethistle


Posts: 186
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I wish more people felt really good about being them, it certainly would make the world a more cheerful place to be


julia

Cheerful, perhaps.  But possibly deluded?

I don't mind being who I am, but I am prepared to be honest about myself in terms of physical appearance....let's just say that no one is going to launch any ships!  Which doesn't mean that I don't think I have lots of other positive things going for me...it just means I'm not going to go swanning around imagining that I'm god's gift to man....that's all.

Laura

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 4:07:50 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		see below...groans..

< Message edited by badlilthang -- 1/17/2007 4:09:37 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 4:08:51 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael




Large older women, especially those who don't at least try and dress up, are a dime a dozen to the point of being a cliche.  Many come to the scene because it is one of the only places where they can be thought of as sexual beings.

If I am going to send flowers to a woman and take her to a restaraunt (one I have gone to and found the best table prior to making a reservation) and get all dolled up and drop a few hundred dollars on dinner she is going to be:

Intelligent - YES - i am...
Classy - oh---believe it...i can be that,too...
Stunning  - that depends on what You mean by stunning....doesn't it?
Tall - drats...lol...only 5'2....
Stable and drama free - yes and yes
Perverted...God....yes....*cracks up(end quote...] i had to fix things here...something went wrong...lol

IF i am accepting a dinner invitation...the guy/Dom better be:

Intelligent
Sharp dresser
Proud of Himself but not arrogant without having the back to carry it -
Tall.....i happen to like tall men...
Stable and drama free - that is a given.
Perverted - God....yes.....lol....


So trust me ladies, my pool is VASTLY smaller than even yours is.  We all have our crosses to bear.

Trust us, Sir....our pools are also quite smaller than You would think....Age/weight..i suspect that had nothing to do with the point You tried to make..desperate, lonely and low esteem comes in all shapes and sizes....s....

just my 15 cents.....winks..

bad






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Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 5:16:46 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		seems we're still coming back to the weight thing, so I'd like to add a flipside to that, RE males and weight.

Ever seen a Hostess Ho Ho?  You now, shiny cheap fake chocolate covered sponge cake crap with a cream filling, no nutritive value at all, shaped kinda like a sausage but black and shiny?

Ever been to the Folsom Street Faire in SF, CA in the past 15 years?

Then you woulda seen a lot of  Hostess Ho Ho's walking around on 2 legs with a crop in hand and a woman on a leash.

You pour a 5'9" guy at 190-230 lbs of "creamy filling" into a pair of 150 lbs PVC pants and a tight rubber vest meant for Brad Pitt, you get The Ho Ho Dom, and I don;t mean a kinky Santa Claus Daddy Bear.

As a male, I say it just looks WRONG, and frankly, unless I am at what I consider my own "best weight", I won't wear that shit.  I'd look more "in control" in a properly fitting suit/vest/tie with a great pair of shiny leather shoes.

So another "unrealistic" is anyone (not slamming the OP here) who complains of kink women looking like sausage rolls while they are the Kinkster Ho Ho.  It's like someone who never drank or drinks complaining about a partner who has three glasses of red per night calling them an alcoholic while they (sober) suck down Ice Meth every week before they hit a club.

A kettle is not a pot, but if they are both black, they both need to shut the fuck up about absence of hue and chroma.

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Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 7:00:14 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton

You pour a 5'9" guy at 190-230 lbs of "creamy filling" into a pair of 150 lbs PVC pants and a tight rubber vest meant for Brad Pitt, you get The Ho Ho Dom, and I don;t mean a kinky Santa Claus Daddy Bear.

As a male, I say it just looks WRONG, and frankly, unless I am at what I consider my own "best weight", I won't wear that shit.  I'd look more "in control" in a properly fitting suit/vest/tie with a great pair of shiny leather shoes.



Here, here. But that was a visual I really didn't need. OTOH, maybe it might work well as a starter for "Visual Play". 

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Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 7:15:52 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

So trust me ladies, my pool is VASTLY smaller than even yours is.  We all have our crosses to bear.



How is it is possible that one's personal decisions in relation to companionship has haphazardly become a cross to bear? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the supposed cross one that you're choosing to carry? Whatever or whomever you're attracted to is really no one's concern. We're all entitled to and should be expected to select a companion that we're comfortable with regardless if our decisions meet societal demands or pressures. I'm left to wonder if you're seeking acceptance from the very audience that you proclaim is of little interest.

porcelaine

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Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/17/2007 9:47:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlethistle

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I wish more people felt really good about being them, it certainly would make the world a more cheerful place to be


julia

Cheerful, perhaps.  But possibly deluded?

I don't mind being who I am, but I am prepared to be honest about myself in terms of physical appearance....let's just say that no one is going to launch any ships!  Which doesn't mean that I don't think I have lots of other positive things going for me...it just means I'm not going to go swanning around imagining that I'm god's gift to man....that's all.

Laura


I really mean this, the more lines I get on my face, the more I like me. If you look around you at couples everywhere, I mean REALLY look at the affectionate ones, the ones that are "connected", the ones that give off that "happy" feel, well they are mostly average folks... some of them are fat, some are skinny, some are old, and some are bald, some are pretty... but most will not launch any ships anytime soon. This tells me something, that looks have little to do with being able to maintain a long term relationship... it is about what is inside.

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Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 9:38:10 AM   
deeddlit


Posts: 484
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I did not read everyones post...I have a very busy day today so please forgive me if I just repeat someone or others.

Really all I have to say is just that for the most part I agree with the OP's general point.  We are ALL judgemental and picky to some degree.  We want what we want in a partner(s).  For some that may mean that we want you to look like Brad Pitt, for others we may want you to have a huge ass, some mayhap get all turned on by really big feet...who the fuck knows and who cares.  Your kink is yours and mine is mine, plain and simple.  So, please don't get your panties in a twist just because I know exactly what mine is, am HONEST about it and do what I have to (obviously within kinky reason :) ) to get it.

There are enough folks on this planet.  If you really do know what you want and are looking for, then DO YOUR PART to find it and you will.  Some may have to work harder than others to achieve this...this sucks (depending on what side of the coin you are), but it is the reality, so get real already and stop feeling so damn insulted!!  If your not finding what it is that you want...stop blaming everyone else for it and start doing some hard core self evaluation and determine what the hell YOU can do about it.

Ok, having said all that...I just have to ask the OP.  What inspired this post??  I get your point, I am just not sure why all the sudden you felt it needed to be made here and not in your journal. 

Take care folks and Be Cause!!
Ladydeeddlit

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 1:32:26 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer what happens to a woman's body/booty after 30.  I thought one of the sexiest woman's faces ever was Angelica Huston in Prizzi's Honour, and she had lines (though of course H-wood had to minimize them).  I also thought she was the most fuckable woman in the Cinderalla remake and that it was too bad HER ass wasn't getting the discipline instead of giving it.

There are tons of guys like this.  MILF sites cater to them. 

so a POSITIVE unrealistic expectation is that a woman thinks because she's over 40 with a REAL ass she won;t have someone hungering for that ass as much as for that of some ingenue.  Granted we're not common, but we're not as rare as rubies either.

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Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 3:35:35 PM   
TypeAsub1


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		I hate parties because the vast majority of people who attend them are moronic idiots, incapable of carrying on a conversation about anything other than floggers, cuffs, piercings etc.

I don't even care about that shit. 

I don't care if they have S&M experience.  I do care that they have experience with and in understanding human behaviour, leadership, management, communication, and a host of other things.

I don't "play".  I hate the word play.  This isn't a game for me.  It's a relationship.  If you're not my Dom.. or someone I'm considering will be Dom in the near future... you will not touch me and you most certainly will not "play" with me.   Play parties always make me laugh.  Why would anyone expect to meet someone of substance at one of those things?

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Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 4:03:03 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TypeAsub1

I hate parties because the vast majority of people who attend them are moronic idiots, incapable of carrying on a conversation about anything other than floggers, cuffs, piercings etc.


Parties are mixed bag, IME.  Some really smart, engaging people.  Some people who couldn't find their way out of a blindfold with both hands free.

quote:

I don't even care about that shit. 


Me either.  I think exhibitionist tendencies work into those type of scenes.  I have a bit of that but would rather exercise discreetly in the vanilla world.
quote:


I don't care if they have S&M experience. 


I care a great deal, espescially depending on what they want to do.  Does he like whips?  You don't want to be one he learns to throw a whip on.  Does he like bondage?  That's the most common way of sustaining injury in BDSM.  I care that his experience matches his ambitions.  I care that he *knows* this is potentially dangerous stuff ... he'll get that knowledge in a BDSM community environment (he'll get it pounded into him in a good one).
quote:


I do care that they have experience with and in understanding human behaviour, leadership, management, communication, and a host of other things.


That would be the ideal.  If I were a top/dom, that's what I would study.  I've studied it anyway but most Doms won't know all that stuff (from my experience thus far).  Should that be a deal breaker?  I dunno.  What if he appears teachable (WTF??? A sub teaching a Dom - topping from the bottom and all that crap!)?  A Dom who could teach me nothing would be fairly worthless to me, and I wouldn't settle for Dom who doesn't love learning from everyone, including me.
quote:


I don't "play".  I hate the word play. 


I have a hard time with play, but there are things that bring out the kid in me.  An amusement park with radical rides; grade-A swingset; a lovely beach that screams for water toys; paragliding; zip-lining; snorkeling, etc.  Play is good.

quote:

 This isn't a game for me.  It's a relationship.  If you're not my Dom.. or someone I'm considering will be Dom in the near future... you will not touch me and you most certainly will not "play" with me.   Play parties always make me laugh.  Why would anyone expect to meet someone of substance at one of those things?


Because there are not a lot of options.  The one group I went to (and didn't like much) was populated by accountants, engineers, and mid to high level (on the corporate ladder) management folk.  I didn't like it because it wasn't about relationships.  It was just about play ... The people were nice people for the most part, and some were looking for someone.  Short of online, where else would one look?  Also for newcomers not so smart and sure as you, it's can be a safe place to start exploring.

I am with you though ... it's not my bag.  I'd rather tough it out and find someone who clicks AND is kinked in the way that I am.  That can be really hard though, even for someone who is as smart and as pretty as you are.  For someone who doesn't have those advantages, it's even harder. 

MaryT

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Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 4:43:54 PM   
untamedshysub


Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		A smartass I like that in a person nice  to meet you. can I use that disclaimer for my faxes? lol 

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Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/18/2007 4:52:23 PM   
untamedshysub


Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		well having spent 17 yrs of my life married to an alkie and being raised by one I know one when I see one, but have no clue what ice meth is  what is it?

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/19/2007 1:59:08 PM   
indigo302


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji
Why do people assume that "perfect 10"s are assholes, or bimbos, or whatever? 
Yours,
benji


For the same reason all fat people are unkempt, unclassy, and wear stained clothes?

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Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Unrealistic expectations - 1/19/2007 2:11:21 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TypeAsub1

I hate parties because the vast majority of people who attend them are moronic idiots, incapable of carrying on a conversation about anything other than floggers, cuffs, piercings etc.

I don't even care about that shit. 

I don't care if they have S&M experience.  I do care that they have experience with and in understanding human behaviour, leadership, management, communication, and a host of other things.

I don't "play".  I hate the word play.  This isn't a game for me.  It's a relationship.  If you're not my Dom.. or someone I'm considering will be Dom in the near future... you will not touch me and you most certainly will not "play" with me.   Play parties always make me laugh.  Why would anyone expect to meet someone of substance at one of those things?



Excellent.

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I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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Profile   Post #: 180
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