Who's doin' who a favor here?

Who's doin' who a favor here? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

mgdartist -> Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:04:18 PM)
This keeps coming up as I continue to seek: It seems the only real contacts of interest i get are those women who seek me out. I think I know it's women who have been the ones in truth, since time began who decided who their mates would be, and then craftily made it into a subtrefugal illusion for the man that he picked them and initiated the chase. The internet has made that little game all but useless to them as Ive found ANYTIME I initiate contact with a woman, she rarely if ever replies, whereas, ALL the contacts of actual interest of ANY kind I have gotten were initiated by the women who ALL had at least a small amount of resentment, or chip on their shoulder over it., and "having" to do so. I dont mind if she contacts me first, since as far as I'm concerned, that pretty much reflects how it's always been. I DO mind her having the chip on her shoulder, as it seems she somehow either thinks I owe her for doing so, or feels I think less of her. Hardly, I admire any woman with enough brains to contact me. Gotta love net-love. MGD

mnottertail -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:16:41 PM)
Women who are not doormats and seek and need the true one and it is more than sex will fall on their backs easily enough if the mood suits them. So yeah..... Ron

toservez -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:24:14 PM)
There are no right or wrong ways. I cannot imagine unless someone has such a strong belief in some old fashion value that a man on here would not like for a woman to write them to express an interest. On the other side, waiting for someone to contact you only is severely limiting the number of chances you will have to find someone compatible with you since most women get flooded with messages that they are choosing from those before ever thinking about searching the profiles for them to initiate something. I think you can only get out what you put in and if I was a guy I would do both. I would encourage women to write me but I would also search out sincere and ones that look compatible and write them. For people who never get positive replies back, I would then look at your profile and what you are writing them and change it up. Futility is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.

NorthernGent -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:33:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mgdartist ALL the contacts of actual interest of ANY kind I have gotten were initiated by the women who ALL had at least a small amount of resentment, or chip on their shoulder over it., and "having" to do so. I dont mind if she contacts me first, since as far as I'm concerned, that pretty much reflects how it's always been. I DO mind her having the chip on her shoulder, as it seems she somehow either thinks I owe her for doing so, or feels I think less of her. Hardly, I admire any woman with enough brains to contact me. Gotta love net-love. MGD Sounds like you're having a bit of bad luck.........I've have had plenty of contacts from sub women but I've found the opposite i.e. they've been great, no chips on their shoulders at all, nice people.....which presents a different problem in that 95% of them have been from the US and as I live in Northern England I instantly treat it as no more than a potential friends only. Shame really. MGD, sounds like you need the ones who are contacting me to contact you :-)

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:54:16 PM)
I never contacted a single dominant when I signed on here. It took all of my time weeding through the bazillion that contacted me. Truth is, I'm shy anyway and I've read so many articles stating that men like to make first contact, so I wouldn't have likely made first contact with anyone. Well maybe I would've if no one contacted me after a while. But lucky for me that didn't happen! LOL! [:D][;)] When I made first contact on vanilla dating sites, which was rare, not a single guy I contacted was interested. The problem that crops up for a lot of us is the people who don't read your profile, or think it doesn't apply to them and expect that you're still gonna take time to respond to them. Once in a while I have responded, but most of the time I don't. It's not that I'm being rude, but hey, they're the ones responding to profiles where they don't fit even basic criteria for the profiler.

Sunshine119 -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 12:57:18 PM)
You might be on to something here. I contacted my Dom initially. He also claims that, from the beginning of time, women are the ones who have chosen their mates....lol. This was on a vanilla site. I had been contacted enough, but somehow, those contacts didn't seem like much of a possibility. For those men who fell into this category, I had a polite, prewritten note that said basically "Thank you, but no thank you". It should be noted, however, that there are tons of women out here who don't have chips on their shoulders....or at least no more than men who have chips on theirs. Baggage, for both men and women, does seem to accumulate with age. It's important to find someone who leaves it (purposefully or forgetfully) on the train. Sunshine-----who is scratching her head and wondering why THIS thread got moved to "other"?

mymasterssub69 -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 1:21:16 PM)
i have contacted a few Doms as well as submissives here however stopped. i suppose no one was interested in chatting with me or cared that i show some interest (if they were a Dom) in meeting or getting to know them. it would have been nice they noted back saying "not interested". on the flipside, i'm nice enough to respond back to those who have contacted me.

mgdartist -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:02:08 PM)
agreed i may have over-stated the "chip on shoulder" aspect, as since posting I've remembered a notable exception ot 2 to that and would not want them to think I thought of them that way. It is hard to continue contacting subs, and I appreciate toservez comment and other inferences to hang in there anyway, since if i don't, guess that starts to grow the chip on my own shoulder. And NG, I just cant equate luck with too much goin on in relationships or searching, outside of just rendom bumping into the things we do in life, but rather view all our presences here as an attempt to overcome the vanilla randomness one usually finds when seeking elsewhere. Tell you what though, send all those american gals after you to me, as I got this gaggle of brit gals all over me, that I can't logistically get with or atritt.(not...lol) MGD

bandit25 -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:23:56 PM)
Hmmmmmmmmmm...ever think it just might be your posting style?

NorthernGent -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:34:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mgdartist And NG, I just cant equate luck with too much goin on in relationships or searching, outside of just rendom bumping into the things we do in life, but rather view all our presences here as an attempt to overcome the vanilla randomness one usually finds when seeking elsewhere. Tell you what though, send all those american gals after you to me, as I got this gaggle of brit gals all over me, that I can't logistically get with or atritt.(not...lol) MGD It was simply a turn of phrase......it goes without saying I haven't analysed your situation to understand why the search continues. Typical eh......no justice in this world! Anyway, how many is a gaggle? Am I getting a fair deal here?

toservez -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:42:15 PM)
I am going to be late to work but wanted to write this. Part of me has my heart aching for the men in this life as it seems to be so hard for them to find someone interested let alone have a shot at a real relationship and when they spend so much time online writing messages and only get no replies or thanks but no thanks messages it has to be extremely frustrating. The other part of me knows that when I did not reply back it was because of reasons that would prevent the same person from ever getting a positive reply back like, profile not filled out, a profile or message full of negativity or the good old generic message that I want to scream look how you are presenting yourself to the woman and look at your competition! The truth is even a nice and honest profile and a personal message to each woman still it is probably rare to get a positive message back. I am sure the longer you are on a site the more expansive your search becomes and by constraints the more you end up writing to people who do not do distance or are less compatible then the ones you originally write and so replies back become fewer and fewer then even before. It is easy to say keep your head up or you get what you put into it, but it is of course much harder to actually face that battle. I wish all the people struggling in their search much luck.

bandit25 -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:49:55 PM)
What a lovely response. And very well thought out also. Alas, it is true that the longer you are on a site, the more expansive your search becomes. However I also think that many (not necessarily mgd) do have unrealistic goals. Yes, I am all about filling your needs, but there must be some compromise also. If you contact many and aren't getting responses, you may need to examine how you are contacting them, your profile, your expectations, etc.

NorthernGent -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 2:57:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez I am going to be late to work but wanted to write this. Part of me has my heart aching for the men in this life as it seems to be so hard for them to find someone interested let alone have a shot at a real relationship and when they spend so much time online writing messages and only get no replies or thanks but no thanks messages it has to be extremely frustrating. A nice post, toservez and I wouldn't worry about us men too much, we'll cope! In truth, I haven't messaged anyone from this board yet. The subs have messaged me and I've replied to every single one. I'm looking for a certain thing and I'm in no rush, I'll bide my time. When I find her, then I'll strike and snare her [;)] but in the meantime I'm an intuitive sort and not the type to message someone in the hope of it going somewhere. For me, I'll message someone who I can tell fits the bill from the way she posts/carries herself/values etc. So, in a nutshell, I'm certainly not frustrated :-)

meatcleaver -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 3:08:31 PM)
I think it is widely recognised that women choose men, the only power a man has is to reject them. As for online, I have to agree, though I don't actively seek anyone online for that reason and it is just too damn time consuming when I only need to go out on the town to meet someone. I've only had one online entanglement and she taught me all about subtefuge but at such an age I shouldn't have been so naive to get involved. I've never tried to contact anyone online with thoughts of a relationship because you can read in the profiles and the threads from other men's experiences the modus opperandi of the average female. Anyway, women always think you owe thems something when sex is involved, one way or another sex has to be paid for so the first thing a man should ask, what is she going to cost. The women to be avoided are the ones seeking 'the true one' and though they often claim to be virtuous, if you are the one, they will be on their back in the wink of an eye. That's my experience anyway. However, never show too much interest otherwise they will knot you in their web and then seek someone else to have fun.

deathitivity -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 3:29:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver I think it is widely recognised that women choose men, the only power a man has is to reject them. As for online, I have to agree, though I don't actively seek anyone online for that reason and it is just too damn time consuming when I only need to go out on the town to meet someone. I've only had one online entanglement and she taught me all about subtefuge but at such an age I shouldn't have been so naive to get involved. I've never tried to contact anyone online with thoughts of a relationship because you can read in the profiles and the threads from other men's experiences the modus opperandi of the average female. Anyway, women always think you owe thems something when sex is involved, one way or another sex has to be paid for so the first thing a man should ask, what is she going to cost. The women to be avoided are the ones seeking 'the true one' and though they often claim to be virtuous, if you are the one, they will be on their back in the wink of an eye. That's my experience anyway. However, never show too much interest otherwise they will knot you in their web and then seek someone else to have fun. Such a sad truth. I've contact plenty of females (on & off this site) who have very friendly profiles, similar interests, and while my profile is pretty well filled out, I still get the cold shoulder. Stuck up bitches... I guess if they really are being flooded I can kind of see where responding to everyone becomes impractical... But there really is no point in getting frustrated by it... if they can't take a few seconds to write any kind of proper response, fuck 'em! Has issues [sm=m23.gif] [sm=goodnight.gif][sm=moon.gif]

marieToo -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 3:31:55 PM)
I dont think its one way or the other. I think certain people draw other certain types to themselves. As a woman, I would say I have been contacted via online venues by way more men, than I have contacted myself. I do occasionally contact a man, but its hard for me. Im nervous and it's hard to do, but when Im met with kindness on the other end, it gets easier to talk through it.

NorthernGent -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 3:38:50 PM)
Just jogged my memory, I have contacted someone from this board.

marieToo -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 3:44:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent Just jogged my memory, I have contacted someone from this board. Yeah but it doesn't count. It wasn't that kinda message. Ya know?

goodlittlegirl28 -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 4:48:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver I think it is widely recognised that women choose men, the only power a man has is to reject them. As for online, I have to agree, though I don't actively seek anyone online for that reason and it is just too damn time consuming when I only need to go out on the town to meet someone. I've only had one online entanglement and she taught me all about subtefuge but at such an age I shouldn't have been so naive to get involved. I've never tried to contact anyone online with thoughts of a relationship because you can read in the profiles and the threads from other men's experiences the modus opperandi of the average female. Anyway, women always think you owe thems something when sex is involved, one way or another sex has to be paid for so the first thing a man should ask, what is she going to cost. The women to be avoided are the ones seeking 'the true one' and though they often claim to be virtuous, if you are the one, they will be on their back in the wink of an eye. That's my experience anyway. However, never show too much interest otherwise they will knot you in their web and then seek someone else to have fun. almost makes men seem powerless. wait for her to choose you. wait for her to set the expectations. wait for her to leave you. everything has a price. some people think it's worth it, some people don't even realize they're paying because they like the cost. i think instead of asking what it's going to cost you, perhaps state up front what you're willing to pay. i think women are apt to believe in a "true one," and will go all-in until they realize it wasn't quite true, and start over. perfection would be nice, wouldn't it? isn't that what everyone looks for in someone else; who will be the perfect fit? can't blame a girl for trying.

juliaoceania -> RE: Who's doin' who a favor here? (1/15/2007 6:08:38 PM)
I have found that people who contacted me were more interesting than the people I would choose. I found that they were more interested in me, that was why they took the time to compose a note that was directed just to me, and not a spam mail sent out to 5000 "lucky" subs[;)] My Daddy emailed me first. I have initiated contact a time or two if I thought someone particularly appealing, but they usually did not respond with a lot of interest. It was much better to wait and see if someone worthwhile contacted me first... funny, I have had the same experience from the other side of the flogger[:D]. And I have never been one to approach romance with a chip on my shoulder either, what a turnoff that would be!

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125