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RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 1:47:46 PM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

So while I'm happy for you that you came out of your first punishment happy with yourself, I can hardly imagine myself ever feeling that way. I always felt violated and wronged. And from everything I have learned and read since then, I know that's not generally the goal.


The highlighted area is what I expected to feel ...I think the confusion about my reaction and what I expected is what has me the most confused....I am still new to the D/s relationship....and Sir is so wonderful and has taken it extremly slow with me for this reason....he is caring and compassionate even in my punishment...between each smack of his hand...he followed it with a soft kiss...
I am sorry for you in your first experience in punishment as a sub...but I am sure that because of that experience...you are now a much wiser and compassionate Dominant

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 1:59:25 PM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Oh I remembr my first and so far only punishment it was about 9 ot 10 months ago.  I also hate pain but i was proud of myself for taking it so well even though it really hurt.  I hope your Master gave you aftercare like mine did.  I have never made thart mistake again.  Master also uses displine for lesser infraction's and i have gotton  4 of them in the almost  1 year we have been together.  They are not a severe as punishments but they still hurt.  You are right though your first punishment is a rite of passage.

Matt's littleone


I am begining to understand the right to passage as being a major factor in my smile....that and the power ....both that he had over me and in a way that I gave him too....hmmm...(light bulb moment)....I gave my power over my own self to him as he spanked me....something I have questioned if I am capable of doing since for the most part I am independent.... if you are looking from the outside....
The aftercare put a smile on my face too...he is a very caring and nuturing man....I wrote a post a while back about how I was afraid to literally put my life into anothers hands....with Him...I have no fear.....I know I am safe and protected in and out of the bedroom.....

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 2:01:37 PM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

since i am unowned (lifestyle-wise) i am free of punishments.


But how could anyone punish you...look at those big brown eyes...looking all sad and remorseful...(your avatar).....

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 2:12:18 PM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirl1969

Afterwards, I didn't want to remember it because it brought back feelings of shame.



This is exactly why I did not enjoy my red ass after the fact. The shame of being a disapointment to the one you love the most is the real punishment. Not the 500 smacks, but rather the embarrasment of feeling endlessly stupid and useless.



(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 3:05:52 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		 It's been about 10 yrs and I can still remember very vividly the first corporal punishment I ever received. Im a pain lover - but that day- I did not smile- I did not feel good- I did not like or enjoy and I was not proud.
And I have never been  and or caused too be punished like that since

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 1/16/2007 3:13:14 PM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 4:53:13 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

I am curious about others first experiences with punishment. I was punished last night for the first time. The feelings I had after were not what I had expected. It's not that I enjoyed the spankings I recieved, but I did enjoy it afterwards. Something like a right of passage for me. I stared at my red ass for a few minutes in the mirror and smiled. In some odd way,I have never felt before, I was proud of taking my punishment like a good girl. While we were at the restraunt later having dinner I kept feeling my ass and the warmth through my pants and again smiled. I even teased  Sir to feel my ass through out the rest of the night. Please don't get me wrong as I was being spanked it hurt so bad but after I was elated. I guess I am just conflicted by my reaction and I was hoping to read others experiences so I might better understand my own feelings about being punished.


my first punishment was withdrawl/abandonment on his part...

it put me in a very, very dark place; so much so, that emotionally, physically and mentally i was worthless to anyone, including myself!  i certainly wasn't smiling or joking about it later...

now play punishment i could probably laugh and joke about later on, but real punishment doesn't leave me a reason to smile, no matter what it is; if it does, then i  would have to wonder just how serious i am about my relationship.



Hmmm.  One can feel good about a punishment because it puts things back in place and because it allows one to atone for their mistakes.  Feeling good about a punishment doesn't mean feeling good about a mistake.  There is nothing more painful than disappointing my Master.  I take that relationship very seriously and would never disobey in order to be punished.  If i want to be punished for punishment sake all i have to do is ask for it anyway.  Real punishment is not the source of pain for me, but actually frees me from the pain of my misdeeds.  The real pain is in the mistake itself.   


i wasn't referring to anyone elses relationship; i was referring to mine; then again, i also don't believe in the 'atonement' aspect of punishment that many believe in; sounds too religiously based to me.

(in reply to darksdesire)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 6:08:37 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

my first punishment was withdrawl/abandonment on his part...


That's not punishment, IMO.  It's the kind of emotional blackmail that deeply scars unmentionables and destroys marriages.

I don't have an opinion on the OP.  Mine (can a sub use that term for a Dom? ) spanks and flogs the sam hell out of me for fun.  The one time I've displeased him, his scowl was punishment enough.  He never said a word or lifted a finger (except to pull me towards him by the collar).

MaryT

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 6:30:17 PM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		oh Daddysliloneds, I didn't take that personally at all.  It was only that what you said sparked a thought for me. 

< Message edited by darksdesire -- 1/16/2007 6:31:20 PM >

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: First punishment - 1/16/2007 10:38:50 PM   
spankme81


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		Someone stop me if this is a total thread jack, but it really goes to something I've been puzzling over with lately, particularly as I am getting to know someone I may soon be in a relationship with.

I have this deep desire to be punished (ie, spanked, whipped, whatever) by someone who is in charge of me...to me, making myself vulnerable to that, and experiencing it, is such an intense and personal experience, and to me somehow just makes me feel like they CARE....however, being as how I'm a masochist, most doms recognize (correctly) that spanking me to punish me is a little silly, in that I WANT to be spanked...I don't think a punishment "scene" is the answer...I truly desire to be punished, corporally...am I just crazy here, or what???

/threadjack, and sorry, but it does seem kinda related...:)

(in reply to darksdesire)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: First punishment - 1/17/2007 1:24:12 AM   
Celedane


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline 		Most dominants punish for real infractions in other ways than pain, when dealing with a maso.  You just need a dominant who enjoys setting up punishment scenarios.  It might be like a scene with a new partner, or setting up tasks that you can't complete, as you would most likely want a realism to the punishment scenario.

(in reply to spankme81)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: First punishment - 1/17/2007 5:04:30 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankme81
I don't think a punishment "scene" is the answer...I truly desire to be punished, corporally...am I just crazy here, or what???

/threadjack, and sorry, but it does seem kinda related...:)



No, you're not crazy.  You might want to try a punishment scene as an experiment.  Might give you a better idea of how to approach it and whether or not you really want to go there.  I hope you get want you're looking for.

(in reply to spankme81)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: First punishment - 1/17/2007 7:23:14 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankme81

Someone stop me if this is a total thread jack, but it really goes to something I've been puzzling over with lately, particularly as I am getting to know someone I may soon be in a relationship with.

I have this deep desire to be punished (ie, spanked, whipped, whatever) by someone who is in charge of me...to me, making myself vulnerable to that, and experiencing it, is such an intense and personal experience, and to me somehow just makes me feel like they CARE....however, being as how I'm a masochist, most doms recognize (correctly) that spanking me to punish me is a little silly, in that I WANT to be spanked...I don't think a punishment "scene" is the answer...I truly desire to be punished, corporally...am I just crazy here, or what???

/threadjack, and sorry, but it does seem kinda related...:)

 As it was mentioned before, corporal punishment puts you in such a headspace that pleasure cannot be derived from it...oh, and there is nothing wrong with wanting that. My girl is a masochist as well, and I have a special paddle reserved just for punishments.

(in reply to spankme81)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: First punishment - 1/17/2007 7:55:12 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
I tend to like pain the abstract, but when I am punished as you say, there is a sense of cleansing and accomplishment attached to it.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 33
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