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Short-term D/s contract - 1/15/2007 10:45:29 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I'm curious to know if anyone has any experience or opinions on a short-term d/s contract. Short term meaning anywhere from an hour, day, weekend, week, etc. Sort of a trial basis. Specifically, has anyone transformed a relationship from vanilla to d/s slowly over time by starting off with very concrete lengths of time for the d/s structure to be in place and then evaluating how that went afterwards? Interesting in hearing opinions and experiences. Thanks.
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 2:53:21 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hello,
Have never turned a vanilla into a D/s but i have done short term service contact. i did a 90 day service contact with a couple down in SC before i moved to the DC area. 

I would think that the short term would be a way to experience and try out new aspect. After each trial run you could discuss what felt right and worked and what did not, then keep the good and add one more part.

My suggestion would be to lay out somewhat of a master plan (no pun intended) on what each contract included.

In other words, each trial increases the control and increases the time length.

Good luck

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 3:28:39 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like a good idea to me...especially for someone who isn't sure or simply wants to take things slowly.  Some people don't like surprises (at least not at first)...you know.  There are those who put their toes in the water, then the foot, etc and there are those who simply jump in!

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 3:45:03 AM   
sweetsurrender22


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		My partner and I did this when we decided we were both ready to try and introduce bdsm to our vanilla realationship. After discusing things extensively, we started out with a contract for a day. Afterwards we discussed things, gave ourselves time to mull things over, then modified the contract to fit the changes we had discussed, and extended it to a weekend. Then a week. Then a month. At the moment we have a 3 month contract and are considering moving on to a year-long one after this.

It has worked very well for us and gave us the time inbetween to thoroughly examine where we were going and if it was where we wanted to be going, whilst still giving us enough time to pay attention to the vanilla side of the realationship, which I believe has helped us greatly to merge the two together. It's still an ongoing process, but to my mind has been easier than just trying to switch from a vanilla realationship to one with bdsm (at least for us).

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 5:28:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		While I have entered into a Ds relationship with someone for a short time before, there was never a contract for it and it was never for the intention of transferring from a vanilla relationship into a 24/7 Ds one.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sweetsurrender22)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 6:02:36 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		I entered into a 5 day 4 night short term contract with my last slave as an interview precursor to his 6 month contract.  Despite laying everything out, clearly defining all the parameters, and having a successful trial, a few weeks in, the reality came crashing home for him that I viewed him only as a slave, and away he ran.

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Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 7:04:47 AM   
YOUNGgun314


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/28/2006
Status: offline 		what would one of these short term contracts look like.

(in reply to demistress)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 8:05:29 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Trying something out for short term can be fun. But, unless you are already in a relationship, or are already past the honeymoon phase, it's not really an accurate representation for how a long-term relationship will be. My lover and I get to spend an entire weeked together on occassion. We have sex a LOT. Would we have sex that much if we were a live-in primary partner relationshp? I doubt it; life just gets in the way of sex 3 or 4 times a day.

What they ARE good for, though, is to test how you feel and how you react when you are in your respective Ds positions. It's good to see if you're going to freak out or become resentful. As long as you keep in mind that these are the fireworks when, in the end, you need to be able to maintain on fireflies, you're good to go.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 8:37:34 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I'm curious to know if anyone has any experience or opinions on a short-term d/s contract. Short term meaning anywhere from an hour, day, weekend, week, etc. Sort of a trial basis. Specifically, has anyone transformed a relationship from vanilla to d/s slowly over time by starting off with very concrete lengths of time for the d/s structure to be in place and then evaluating how that went afterwards? Interesting in hearing opinions and experiences. Thanks.


I prefer to keep said agreements concise and to the point, mostly free of subculture-specific jargon and esoterotica.

I've included a general example of what I call a Covenant of Limited Personal Subjugation below, which I used recently. It is important to note these signed documents are not intended for legal protection, but instead serve as references to ideals and responsibilities, as well as evidence of the nature of the relationship between two parties. In the documents I create, I keep the focus mostly upon the expected roles of the "submissive." I understand that might be alarming to some, but I like the freedom and protection it affords me. :)

petbindingform.pdf

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 8:51:08 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos
petbindingform.pdf


A nice, simple document! Well done! My only suggestion would be adding a statement that you understand that you have a responsibility to not harm your pet and that you have discussed what actions would be considered harmful. But, that's just my opinion. Perhaps you assume this to be the case...or don't want it to be and make that clear verbally.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 8:55:25 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I always do one scene before I offer a training contract to someone. I think it is only fair for both of us to see if any chemistry is there between us. We do have a quickie check list and verbal agreement to try it once and then evaluate it.

I've actually saved myself from a few people who frankly could talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk even for a few hours. I'm sure they felt the same about me. Not everyone can or should do any of this with everyone else afterall.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 10:19:19 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I appreciate the responses. To clarify, in case anyone wants to know, the person with whom this short term contract is even a consideration with is my ___ (fill in the blank, lol...boyfriend, roommate, little girl, friend, all of the above) We have been together going on 6 months, live together when I'm actually at home (which isn't fulltime cause of work) and we play well together as top and bottom when he's up for it (see my "in the mood" thread.) Well, we recently got to spend a couple of weeks together and I asked him what he thought of actually submitting to me on a short term basis, anywhere from one scene to a day or weekend, just to see what happens. As of yet in our months together he has not gone to where he would call "submitting" though he is pretty submissive at times. So when I broached the topic he was very open to it and said he'd certainly be up for trying something on a short term basis. So, it's not like we don't know each other or haven't played together before, it's more like our first formal attempt to take the relationship in the true d/s direction. If it doesn't work then I'm sure we'll still have what we have but if it does work, we'll have so much more. I have already started putting to paper (for the first time ever, actually) some specific behaviors that I would expect of a submissive. Whether or not these things turn into a contract between the 2 of us, I am starting to feel clearer about what I seek in a relationship and I'm glad that I took the time to write. Thanks to all who have replied and to those that will reply in the future. It's encouraging. Also thanks Amayos, can't wait to look at your file.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 10:25:42 AM   
amberhalo


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,
i was entering the lifestyle 10 years ago.. i met some one and i did 6 month contract with him,, all went well    then another..til it went to long term.
it ended 8 years later,,,
i like being in a short term contract to learn about the other person to find out if long term was good or not.

i learned alot
amber

(in reply to goodpet)
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RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 11:04:04 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

A nice, simple document! Well done! My only suggestion would be adding a statement that you understand that you have a responsibility to not harm your pet and that you have discussed what actions would be considered harmful. But, that's just my opinion. Perhaps you assume this to be the case...or don't want it to be and make that clear verbally.

Master Fire



Thank you. Indeed, I do communicate this verbally, but more details of the dominant role could be fleshed out and inserted easily enough, if one felt so inclined.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Short-term D/s contract - 1/16/2007 1:08:06 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		Over the years I've been married, we have had occasional "do as I say" nights/weekends. They were always fun, but also they were viewed as playtime.
Late last year, we decided to take it a little more seriously, and started out with a one month agreement. It was as much to see what we both meant (talking is great, seeing/showing is something else entirely). When the month was up, we extended it another four months.
It wasn't so much a contract as a general outline.
Oh, and MasterFireMaam, even after 20+ years, it's still possible to have sex 3 or 4 times a day... just not every day! :D

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 15
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