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pandoravampire -> RE: Oh my (3/3/2005 1:04:11 PM)
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RiotGirl,
i think your jumping up and down reaction is really cute and amusing to 'see'. I dont mean that in any way to be patronising. I see it as more a bit of a frenzy that occurs at the start of our journeys.
I was unsure for instance what to tick off as a need in the profile, as i did not know what was done. i do not do visual porn, so hadnt seen pictures, or DVD's of bdsm, so like you, was totally unaware of what actually went on. When i DID see, i was shocked!
Never, could i imagine myself doing such extreem things, or having these done to me. [:'(]
Now however? well, what was shocking and got me off coz i was being 'naughty', ceased to have that effect. This 'saturation' is a learning process, that occurs for everyone, in any learning situation. So, your partner will up the anti if they know what is wise, or you will be bored eventually, doing the same type of play.
And so you go deeper, and deeper into bdsm. Renegotiating limits constantly, to be in tune to your needs and desires of each other.
Some extreem forms of play, i still find shocking. The crucial point being, that whatever you are seeing is consented to. So ok by me.
Then last month, ive had a friend staying over from overseas. The bdsm play noises coming from his room at night, [:-] i may now be ok with less 'fluffy' play for myself, but to hear it! Nope, i was shocked indeedy. Even though i knew it to be consentual, still did not like to hear it. Too much information!!!!
There are things now, that do sod all for me. But because i can see what they do for him, that makes them really hot! A simple thing, to do, with such desired results for the Dom, well who am i to argue? lol So thats another example of how you may change your limits as you go along.
I read so much about bdsm before i ever even went online for some (which i really dont get, does sod all for either top or bottom need of mine). But real life play? totally different limits to cybering. What id do on line i did not have the confidence to put into practice in real life. My fantasies, had gotten a little ahead of my courage lol. Thankfully, they have now caught up with each other, so that my fantasies can be realised. And im freed, to enjoy them to the full.
A Dom that constantly nudges my limits, pushing me onwards, whilst i can at ANY moment stop with a safe word, its great!
Another contributing factor for me in pushing my limits, is trust. If for instance my Dom dissappeared (eek!), and i had to find a new play parnter, then my limits would sink back down to encompass the safety aspects. I enjoy breath play. Not something i would do with another unless i absolutely believed a) they know what they are doing in as much as you can with this sort of play, and b)my best interests were paramount to them. I would not gain this from a play partner, only a parnter that loves me. So i would KNOW im safe as i can be.
And as previously mentioned here, yep, what i thought of as a NEVER NO WAY! has quickly become, 'oh please Sir, may i have........' lol.
but thats bdsm for you, there is not only a reason for the word 'fluffy' but also that word 'journey' which implies progression along a path.
Keep going with the jumping up and down 'look, that dog can talk'. Its a wonderful head space to be in, long may it last for you. Once ive stopped jumping up and down in excitement, ill probably be bored, so why yearn for that?
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