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Sekhemet -> RE: Homemade BDSM Video Disaster (1/16/2007 12:43:59 PM)
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OMG did you see his pic he looks like a stressed out freak!!!
Judge not lest YE be judged.
Ah and yet if you read the accompanying article the parties were known to each other, and it could just as easily be a scene gone amiss, and a case of sour grapes as it is him taking advantage of "a friend(?)" How old was the girl though, I see she is living with her parents apparently. If they were known to each other as the article claims had they met r/l previously, was it ever in a leather context, and if so did they play previous to this? Together, alone, at what level? Was this negotiated, or discussed? - All of this very pertinent info is noteably omitted from the article.
Wouldn't be the first time a bottom didn't get "everything they asked for how they desired" and cried rape or assault afterwards. Or were worried they'd be seen by someone on tape and so made like they either didn't know it was being taped, or they were unwilling participants.
Obviously he was worried enough about her to NOT take the ropes down or pick up the camera or anything, but to go and get help NOW ... Looks like a sensationalization of a scene gone amiss thanks to someone with no clue, who was playing with someone with no clue, and thus are both to blame for bad judgement calls.
THIS is where mentoring matters, where the sense in starting off slow and not getting into play which is of concern is smart, why you keep the clothes, on, and why a personal slave should never be in bondage in the begnning. It's protection - for everyone. Things like bondage should come as rewards, when you both know it will be ok.
If he realized he'd comitted a crime though, do you think he would have dropped her off at her parents' house? Or did he ask her where she wanted to go, and this was her answer? Why did he leave all the evidence lying there, and not go back? Why didn't he run, try to cover his tracks or anything else? Were her clothes torn off, or taken off? Who took them off, and when? They say they also found the camera at the scene, you can't sell tapes that way, can you? I'm getting that - "You are only being told what the moralists want you to hear" feeling going on over here.
Don't read and get emotional, (although I know and see it is the natural reaction) read and think it through, what are they not telling you, and why? They are not telling you the info you need to protect yourself, and it's because they want to make you afraid enough so that you do not go out and try it or meet people within the community, and that people outside of it continue to misunderstand.
Will it work? Dunno; that's YOUR call.
It's a wonderful opportunity to educate the public though about what we do and do not tolerate. Consent.
But maybe they thought it was simple
Maybe they were both neophytic to a fault
Maybe they thought they could pull it off
Maybe he setup and she got naked
Maybe he got carried away
Maybe they knew they screwed up
Maybe he took her down in a panic
Maybe he went for help and so left it all lying there
Maybe he couldn't face himself and what he'd just done
Maybe he couldn't stomach the matter - and simply went home sickened.
Just a thought. It's all in the spin, and what is, and isn't said. Again - Judge not lest ye be judged.
But the moral of this story is don't walk in blind, learn, get some experience, start slow, and when playing don't go off in the bushes on a first date. I thought this was a universally known rule, that and keep the clothes on!! I mean really.
XxoxX
P.S. The one thing this article omits looking at; is any form of consent having been given. To point out, safe sane CONSENTUAL + also risk aware CONSENTUAL kink. Despite all the differences of opinion the one things we can all agree upon is consent. Turn on camera: ask name, date, age, show ID etc, Ask what is about to be done or taped and has been agreed to, so ... ok ... GO! How hard is that? Something those of you who like the cameras might want to consider taking to doing at least on your personal copies. Can't argue film, right. What would have happened if indeed that is the case here, how would it have changed the outcome, and perceptions? Don't jump to conclusions.
You end up with stories like this one - NO body, NO blood, NO evidence at all - save that he bought a magazine and noted her ad. THAT was the sum evidence against this Woman. http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/01/31/dominatrix_acquitted_of_manslaughter/
*typos*
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