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loss of first love, not first Master - 1/16/2007 8:41:44 PM   
apettiger


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline 		hi,
2 days ago i was released from a 2 year long relationship.
i knew there was a problem, but i never saw it ending.
my Master is new to this lifestyle and i am not. W/we are both over 40. i thought He cared enough to try to work it out. i know i love Him and He said that He lovs me.
now i feel lost. i feel as though my back is exposed.
at times i want Him back and at others i know it would not work without a little give on His part.
i want to find another Master, RIGHT NOW!!!!
i want to wait a long time before i commit again.
i am not vanilla, so giving up this lifestyle is out of the question.
i am so confused.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/16/2007 8:55:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Give it time. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/16/2007 9:17:49 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Throwing yourself into another relationship would be disasterous. Take time to heal and then look for another.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/16/2007 9:18:10 PM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		listen to LA - give it time

take a break ...regroup ...let your heart heal before making a quick decision you'll probably regret later.

*hugs*


_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 9:36:44 AM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		Take a D/s vacation, meaning, take your time to recover yourself from your release and also spend some time doing things not related to this dynamic. Visit friends, go to a movie, etc... whatever activity that will keep your mind ocupied.

And don't pay attention to ruggedceo's advice... lol

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 10:08:03 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Take a deep breath.  Stop and consider things.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 10:17:16 AM   
amberhalo


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,

i was released after 8 years,, and it is diffcult.. but i know i need a break.
i need to take time for myself and reflect on so many thing that were in the relationship and in me .
Even knowing this i feel  my heart is in a good place ,and only i can take care of it..........so i will be ready when my search begins.

amber



(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 11:07:10 AM   
submissivedevil


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline 		Hello Apettiger,
                       Wow now we have something in common.  I too just lost the man I loved after two years.  I also want to find a Dom, I'm also confused.   Once in the lifestyle I don't think its something you can walk away from.  If your desire is to be in the lifestyle its almost impossible to go back to a vanilla life.
I think for me its going to take time.  Its not going to happen right now.  You need time to heal as do I.  Your emotions are so strong, the pain of losing someone makes you want to grab another right now.  The truth is you and I need to find the right person, the right Dom.  Grabbing the first one that comes along may not, probably won't be in anyones best interest.
Get over your heart break before moving on with someone else.  I know the pain all to well and understand finding someone else right now takes your mind off your pain.  The reality of that is you could be setting yourself up for another bad experience. 
Get well.  After you've accomplished that then your ready to go on looking.  Take this time to heal yourself. 

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 11:19:15 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I echo just to be patient before searching again, certainly in the short term and maybe long term if it takes that long for you to be in the proper and healthy mind frame to find the right one for you.

I might be inferring too much but it sounds like you are off to a pretty good start as it appears to me you recognize he is probably not going to change and therefore to dwell or try to go back might not be good for you. I also think that you wanting to be with someone are a good start as well but this soon after to act on is probably not a good thing.

I am sorry for your situation and I wish you the best.

Lin


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to submissivedevil)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 3:17:54 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Right now i know it feell like your heart was ripped out and stomped on.  You need to let it heal.  My situation was a little different i lost my previous Master due to death and i took the time to regroup it took me 9 months before i started looking and another year before i found my Master. You should pamper amd spoil youself trust me the pain may never complety go away but it  will fade in time just give yourself that time.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 4:39:54 PM   
eroticBBWsub


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/1/2006
Status: offline 		There must be something in the air this week.  I was released on Monday from a 3 1/2 yr relationship.  This was my first D/s rela, and my first Master.  I never saw it coming, and I dont understand the reasons he gave.  I feel so lost, like a puppy that has been taken out to the woods and dumped, with no sense of direction and no way to find my way home.  I have never cried so hard.  It took me my entire life to trust someone like that, and then he releases me, having broken the most sacred promise he had made to me.  I cant imagine ever taking that risk again, ever giving myself to someone like that again, ever trusting someone like that again.  Does is always feel like this when a sub is released??? 

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/17/2007 4:51:07 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		It feels the same no matter what kind of relationship you are in.  Of course it hurts if you didn't want to break up.  No offense, but you're not a kid (nor am I).  This couldn't possibly be the first time you got dumped (I have been dumped plenty of times...we all have).  How did it feel before?  Well, that's how it feels now.  Do whatever you did before to get on with your life.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but how you feel is how you feel...how so other sub may feel is how she feels.  Sorry this happened, but that's the chance you take when you open your heart to someone...D/s or vanilla. 

I just reread what I wrote and I do sound harsh.  Believe me, my heart goes out to you.  I guess what I want to say is that D/s relationships don't have anything magical in them.  I know it seems like they do, but they really don't.  They are just two people in a relationship.  The breakup doesn't hurt any more or any deeper than any other breakup...at least I don't think so. 

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 1/17/2007 4:55:06 PM >

(in reply to eroticBBWsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/19/2007 3:49:49 PM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		i don't agree.  i have never had a vanilla relationship (where it felt the same) and i've had many LTR's with both men and women.  Never have i walked away from a break up (whether they broke it off or I) feeling the same as i feel when i loose or leave a Master!  some Masters really get into your head and no vanilla person in my life Ever got into my heart and head quite the same way!

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

It feels the same no matter what kind of relationship you are in.  

I guess what I want to say is that D/s relationships don't have anything magical in them.  I know it seems like they do, but they really don't.  They are just two people in a relationship.  The breakup doesn't hurt any more or any deeper than any other breakup...at least I don't think so. 


< Message edited by acctonthelook -- 1/19/2007 3:50:57 PM >

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: loss of first love, not first Master - 1/20/2007 5:39:37 AM   
apettiger


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline 		this is not the first Master this girl has lost, but He is the first man i have ever loved.
i have been in this lifestyle for over 30 years, so i know how it works.
W/we have since spoken and agree that i am not willing to settel and He will not change, so, although W/we do love each other, W/we are not compatable in this way, and sicnce W/we began this looking for certain things, W/we have agreed to continue on that path.
W/we are friends and support each O/other.
i wish Him all the luck in the world.
i love Him.
and i am not about to jump ou t of the fire and into the frying pan.
i am going to enjoy my freedom for a little while before i make that commitment again, but i WILL make that commitment again.

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 14
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