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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 11:11:23 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Ok, so you are so fulfilled with your dominant you can think of no other. Nobody to ever take the place.
Now your dominant is dead. You are no longer fulfilled but empty. In time your heart will heal and you will be able to move on.
Would you still remain empty the rest of your natural life? Condemning yourself to lonliness?
Allow your life to diminiss until you die all alone, cold and miserable because you didn't care enough about yourself to do something about it?

Feeling and believing that you will not find another after this relationship is hardly the same as condemning one's self to die alone.

Being content to be alone does not mean someone will be cold and miserable, or that they didn't care about themself.

I agree one shouldn't spurn happiness or possible new relationships after the mourning has passed and life brings it your way- but believing that life has brought what it has and that will be it, being content with that and happy with being alone is certainly not a bad thing either.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 1:27:17 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Feeling and believing that you will not find another after this relationship is hardly the same as condemning one's self to die alone.

Being content to be alone does not mean someone will be cold and miserable, or that they didn't care about themself.

Correct however, the original question was
"Has anyone ever experienced a D/s relationship with a Dom(me) which has left them so fullfilled that in the event that the relationship were to end either by choice or death that they would not feel a need to seek another partner? "

If the relationship were to end in death they would not feel the need to ever have another partner in their lives.
That means being alone. That means always feeling fulfilled even though there is a huge void in their lives now. Never feeling the warm arms around you again. Never feeling the warmth of love.
If you have no one in your life how aren't you going to dying alone?

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 1:41:55 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
If the relationship were to end in death they would not feel the need to ever have another partner in their lives.
That means being alone. That means always feeling fulfilled even though there is a huge void in their lives now. Never feeling the warm arms around you again. Never feeling the warmth of love.
If you have no one in your life how aren't you going to dying alone?

Not having a partner is hardly the same as alone or lacking warmth of love.

There's family, there's pets, there's friends.

I didn't need to have a partner BEFORE I had the one I have now. I don't think I'll need it after, and I don't believe I will seek one out either.

I'd hate to live in a world where I could only be fulfilled and feel love if I had an intimate partner. My father died years ago, my mother has not sought anyone since and it's very unlikely that she ever will.. I do not think she would say she is alone and without the warmth of love.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 1:50:01 PM

akisha

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Yes I met one person like that and had the probablility of being even more, and No just because we are no longer together does that mean I'm going to stop living my life the way I need to to be satisfied and fullfilled. I'm to young to give up on myself just because a relationship ended.

I'll brush myself off and move on. Could take a while but I don't believe in living in the past.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 1:53:03 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'd hate to live in a world where I could only be fulfilled and feel love if I had an intimate partner. My father died years ago, my mother has not sought anyone since and it's very unlikely that she ever will.. I do not think she would say she is alone and without the warmth of love.

Many lifestyle relationships are not intimate. Mine is, though I know several that aren't.
My mother died years ago as well. My father died this past Jan. He didn't seek out anyone after mom died either. He had Doug and I in his life. Yet, I do know he died lonely as well.
There was something lacking in his life. A lacking neither of us could fulfill.
You are right there are family and friends. Pets. Though in the nitty gritty those people don't make life threatening decisions for us in our times of need either.

When I think of being alone. I think of...if I am in an accident and on life support who is going to be the one to have my best interest at heart. Are they going to pull the plug?
Are my friends going to spend the 20 thousand to bury me when the time comes?
Yes, I know I am getting a bit off track but these are also things we need to think about. They are real life.
I guess it comes down to semantics.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 1:56:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Many lifestyle relationships are not intimate. Mine is, though I know several that aren't.
My mother died years ago as well. My father died this past Jan. He didn't seek out anyone after mom died either. He had Doug and I in his life. Yet, I do know he died lonely as well.
There was something lacking in his life. A lacking neither of us could fulfill.

I can understand that. I am saying it is not a universal state nor a condemnation to loneliness to not have an intimate partner in life.

quote:

You are right there are family and friends. Pets. Though in the nitty gritty those people don't make life threatening decisions for us in our times of need either.

Sometimes they can.

quote:

When I think of being alone. I think of...if I am in an accident and on life support who is going to be the one to have my best interest at heart. Are they going to pull the plug?
Are my friends going to spend the 20 thousand to bury me when the time comes?
Yes, I know I am getting a bit off track but these are also things we need to think about. They are real life.
I guess it comes down to semantics.

Yes, those things definitely should be discussed, and in our family, they have at length.

Perhaps that's part of my perspective, I already know I don't need an intimate partner to deal with those things in cases of emergency. That does not mean I don't deeply appreciate having one- and we have had those discussions as well. But I already know I'm not alone if an emergency happens, no matter who I sleep in bed with every night or not.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 2:14:45 PM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I've been pondering this question for quite sometime and just want to know if anyone has ever felt this way.
Has anyone ever experienced a D/s relationship with a Dom(me) which has left them so fullfilled that in the event that the relationship were to end either by choice or death that they would not feel a need to seek another partner? Even though I have posted this in ask a sub, the question could pertain to a Dom(me) or a switch as well.

I'm sure this doesn't sound terribly romantic and such but because my owner and I have a significant age difference (20 years) what I've had to do is more the reverse - come to terms with the fact that if our relationship continued to one of our deaths it would likely be his and be when I still had a decent amount of living left to do. I don't think he'd want me to spend the rest of my time unfufilled and not in a relationship (I wouldn't want that for him). So after a long time I'd probably look for another relationship, and I'd expect him to do the same. I don't think either of us think that we are so much the cats meow that no one would compare to either of us (no matter how romantic the notion).

C~

P.S. - I do feel the need to add though when I think practically of the concept of putting myself out there, and ads, and then I start to think about the people are single locally and the concept of dating I almost put myself into an anxiety attack. So I think I would move on, but it wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't be fast. But I do think it would happen eventually.

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 1/22/2007 2:17:43 PM >

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RE: Just wondering - 1/22/2007 2:42:32 PM

Squeakers

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sub4hire---i tend to like my own company so i feel i could be content alone and 'lonely'

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RE: Just wondering - 1/23/2007 8:16:43 AM

amuzingtoyou

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I feel every relationship i have had is different. Each has its purpose in my life. I feel that my current Master and i share a very deep bond. I doubt very much I would find anything like this again. If something were to happen to him, and I was left on my own, I am sure i would get involved with someone again, but not to the same degree or depth. I am currently in love, so its very hard for me to imagine what life would be like without him. Too hard to say what i would or wouldn't do. I do know that a connection like he and i share doesn't come very often in ones life. So most likely yes, i would get involved again, but i would never expect to find what i have now.

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RE: Just wondering - 1/23/2007 8:28:50 AM

onestandingstill

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To the OP I'd say, es.
I think many feel that way while in the relationship.
Some even feel that way for quite some time after till they realize it benefits no one.
Others get through this and go on to be happy again.
I think if my partner died it would not be his will for me to be alone and pining for him till I die thus waisting all the love I can give or recieve from another human being.
I think you can carry the one who died's love into your next relationship thus allowing yourself to live, and remember they are with you and share in your new happiness.
suzanne

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