I Need To Vent

I Need To Vent (Full Version)

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JerseyKrissi72 -> I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 7:59:27 AM)
After my Master passed away in June I began a relationship with my parents after not speaking for nine years...They even appologized for the abusive childhood me and my older sister had to endure...But, today, my half sister (who is almost 30 and still living at home not paying rent) contacts me on my space and tells me that I am not a good mother because I'm not living at home and having sex when I'm not in a relationship[8\|] she bangs her boyfriend at my parent's house and I guess that is okay....The letter was so very hurtful because she said things about me that were so untrue...I love my boys..but honestly, I'm in no position to take care of them so it's better that I parent from a distance than try to take care of them and live in some crack/ cocaine ridden neighborhood! Does anyone know what I mean? How people judge you that have NEVER had to live in your shoes...She claims I am jealous of her because she is skinny that is why I am getting gastric bypass surgery...WRONG...i am getting it to save my life from diabetes, my health (only). I realize as a bigger woman I STILL got it going on....I love how people who live in glass houses throw stones...I just hope they don't mind me throwing them back...

MasterFireMaam -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 9:34:48 AM)
This is her reaction to her stuff and, in the end, has nothing to do with you. She's projecting onto you her own criticism of herself. Getting her to stop is unlikely because change is hard and required a level of self awareness most are not willing to develop. The only thing you can do is react to her stuff and look at your own. Why does her opinion of you mean so much? Master Fire

darchChylde -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 9:37:49 AM)
hugs

LadyEllen -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 9:50:57 AM)
Krissi - I only know you from what you post here. And what you post and the way you express it, says to me that you are a wonderful person, and I can imagine a wonderful mother too. Dont take to heart anything that suggests that you arent. You have to do what you feel is right at this time, and I cant imagine you doing anything that wouldnt be judged as OK by anyone with an objective view, and as right by the majority. E

mymasterssub69 -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 10:30:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72 Does anyone know what I mean? How people judge you that have NEVER had to live in your shoes..... yes i do understand - got it from my own parents and my friends while i was going through my divorce and handling a major medical issue with my oldest at the same time. so vent away hugs

crouchingtigress -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 11:27:54 AM)
i am sorry kriss...my response is MFMs response....its all her stuff....and darch's...hugs

JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 11:30:24 AM)
What gets me the most is how she will go on forever about how dangerous the internet is and I find her on every site lol...If it weren't for all of you I don't know what I would have done during my darkest days..sometimes, coming here is the only smile in my day...I have to thankyou all for cheering me up but especially Michael (here) and about a dozen others (on the other side) who have given alot of their time to just listen, which sometimes, is all I need....You guys are so crazy sometimes I am crying and laughing at the same time..thankyou for your kind words. Krissi p.s. she calls me a slut, you damn straight i am[8D]

poplolly -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/18/2007 3:23:59 PM)
Krissi: We've "talked" on the other side. You know my circumstances. I, too, have received much criticism from a self-righteous, sanctimonious family member -- my mother. She also claims that I'm not a good parent. You and I both know that they are wrong. We make the best choices we can based on the circumstances we find ourselves in. Ignore your sister as I've ignored my mother. They are both oh so wrong. You follow your heart, girl, because, from what I've seen of it, it is a heart full of love and kindness. I'm behind you and I'm sure the others here are too. Never second guess yourself and certainly not based on the rantings of an obviously crazy person! And, hey, where's your beautiful picture? I miss your pretty face. ~~M

Manawyddan -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/20/2007 6:04:29 AM)
I'm glad you can find solace and laughter here, Krissi. Your sister sounds like she's jealous of the fact that you are trying, however hard it is, to live your own life, while she probably feels stifled and stuck. Be merciful with her in your thoughts, but don't put up with any of her bullshit in life.

sub4hire -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/20/2007 6:59:23 AM)
Don't worry about what people who don't know you think of you. Just because she is your family does not mean she knows anything. Anyway, who is the lose? The 30 year old living at home mooching off of their parents all the while dis-respecting them, or the woman who is making it on her own?

CandleInTheWind -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/20/2007 5:07:15 PM)
Krissi, lets see how to start this missy.. I walk in the shoes that you do....I have a family that actually backed my exhubby in a child custody battle, who didnt bother even acknowledging me when i went through my double mastectomy trust me the stuff that they have done in the past 5 years would make a passifist shoot a nun! but want to know what?? I am not who they think i am....how sad for them that have this view of someone that doesnt exist how sad that they willNEVER get to knwo who i am and the greatness that i am capable of....and well how sad i am for them....Imagien that after the parents and sisters helping the hubby try to get total custody I won custody....I guess that would just illustrate the insanity that prevails over there huh?? My answer to dealing with that is almost an alcoholic anonymous view...I have absolutely no control over anything that they say, do, or feel......and so i visit them once every year or so when i am in the area...after all they do not live aroudn the corner...and even when they lived int he same state they were not the type to be involved in my world...so i choose to tell them what i choose to...I filter out everything ....as far as they are concerend my childen are the most talented and kind and acheiving children that live on longisland becasue i do not feel teh need to tell them anything else....I also keep inthe back of my mind the old saying that you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family! of course i secretly hope to find out ne day that i was switched at birth then it will all be understandable! red

dcnovice -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/20/2007 7:20:49 PM)
That's sounds incredibly hurtful, and you have my sympathies, Krissi! Brings to mind the story of Solomon and the two women who both claimed the same baby. When Solomon suggested slicing the baby in half, the real mother said "No, give the child to her." She wanted what was best for the baby, even at the cost of her own happiness. I'm sure it was incredibly difficult to do what you thought best for your boys, and you don't need a guilt trip about it.

Level -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/21/2007 3:05:53 AM)
Be strong, Krissi. Sometimes the ones that love us (or should) the most, hurt us the most. It makes life tougher than it has to be, but we have to rise to the occasion. Find the good in life, and find love as much as you can, and immerse yourself it it, and have faith that all will be well.

JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/21/2007 4:51:28 AM)
I am a very forgiving person but some things just I cannot forgive for...My oldest sister told me that we weren't abused as children, it's just that I'm bi-polar and I "dream" things[>:]....She went on to say that all the abuse in my past including the time I was raped was just a horrible dream...well, I never knew dreams came with scars and others who witnessed them....I was so offended...She went on to talk about how selfish "I" am but I went through four childbirths alone, 2 surgeries and alot of other issues never once asking for any help...but she goes into the hospital for an out patient issue and boo hoos I wasn't there...how could I be there when noone tells me, know what I mean? I won't allow my children to go through the rollar-coaster of emotions that I went through...they have went through enough right now...They would try to talk to my parents about Ron or other issues in their life just to have my parents change subject on them...My oldest son wants nothing to do with them anymore so on Saturday (i was not there) my parents showed up at the rollar-skating rink and my son told them to leave him alone because quote "you have hurt my Mommy enough and I'm tired of your lies"...I never once told my son NOT to have anything to do with him, I always encourage him to make up his own mind and he's a mature little boy...From what I'm told, my other sons just skating across the rink and hid from them...

bandit25 -> RE: I Need To Vent (1/21/2007 4:59:03 AM)
Sorry you're going through all of this. I don't know why family seems to think it's ok to hurt each other. but they some...at least some of them do. MFM is right...you can't control her stuff, only yours.

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