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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/18/2007 9:16:30 PM

MasterGremlin

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Joined: 12/30/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

...is that the same or different then therapists who have sex with their patients?

And has there been a breech of trust when both people consent?

(looks like the same question but it is really 2 separate ones)

If I'm not mistaken, I believe Sex Therapists have sex with their "clients".
Cordially,
minxy

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 5:54:49 AM

LeatherBentOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

...is that the same or different then therapists who have sex with their patients?

And has there been a breech of trust when both people consent?

(looks like the same question but it is really 2 separate ones)

I believe it is unethical to have sex with one that you are mentoring. It would be less so if a mentor excused themselves from mentoring the individual for a period of time (6 months or so) to allow time for the situation to cool down, and for the mentoree to consider what their true feelings were about things....

I think that a power exchange dynamic should be entered into based upon complete consent, with both parties fully autonomous to freely agree. I believe that when one person starts out with some sort of leverage/authority/power over another individual either implied or implicit that this can lead to abuse of power... how can someone consent when they are not empowered within themselves, autonomous to make a decision or under the sway of someone that is perhaps not thinking of the best interest of the mentoree? Where is the objectivity to enter into this sort of relationship?

I do not expect everyone to agree with my views, but one day I will be teaching college, and I will have students, and some I will mentor. How would it seem if I began a sexual relationship with a student taking my classes? It would be an ethical breech. An abuse of power. And I would not do it. I see mentoring someone into a power exchange as nothing different.

I agree with you, but don't understand your reasoning about "taking time for the situation to cool down." Are you saying that once this happens, the abuse of power no longer exists dictated by the time factor? Please explain. Am I missing something here?

LBO

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 9:20:31 AM

toservez

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Often I hear the word mentor in these situations and feel the word is misused for the two people involved to feel better in some fake way when there are zero reasons not to feel good anyway. I often feel the term is nothing more then one person not wanting to do something this deep and for it to be called casual and for the mentor person to have a relationship this deep without worrying about long term commitment. If it works for the both of them good for both of them.

Having sex with a mentor is not at all like having sex with a patient. One is healthy, at least think they are, and are exploring themselves in a way they want, the other is not in a healthy frame of mind and is dependent on their therapist on some level. One should be able to make healthy decisions for themselves the other is trying to learn or deal in a way to do that. To me a pretty darn big difference.

Personally I am of the a mentor is not someone who plays at all with their other not just sex but everything else and is someone to be able to confide and bounce off ideas, questions and a general independent observer.

I know I am in a big minority in this because I once started a thread on it, but I also have never understood why sex is something more personal and sacred then letting another control you on the level we talk about and also the physical actions on one’s body. I have always found it easier to give myself sexually to a person then to give myself to another for the other things in this life.

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 9:34:25 AM

domiguy

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I would like to mentor women into this "lifestyle." I promise there will be no contact of a sexual nature.*

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

* Unless: domiguy is horny, or you are attractive...you are unattractive and domiguy is drunk or you are unattractive and domiguy is horny...You have perfect breasts, you have a perfect breast, or if you have ever thought about having perfect breasts, domiguy is watching a porno,food network, or Kim Possible(nice tight ass, that Kim is such a tease), you are scantily dressed, naked,or have ever been naked. Looking at domiguy with desire, disdain, or despair. and on and on....

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 10:24:41 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I agree with you, but don't understand your reasoning about "taking time for the situation to cool down." Are you saying that once this happens, the abuse of power no longer exists dictated by the time factor? Please explain. Am I missing something here?

LBO

I am out of college now, if a professor that had mentored me at this point (been out for about 2 years) asked me out, I would not feel that was a breech of ethics. I am not longer a student of theirs. I do not believe that a mentor is forever off limits to a mentee, I think that after time has passed, the mentee has a chance to not only catch up to the mentor, at times they can surpass them... No, the power dynamic is not forever a factor in my opinion.

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 11:16:57 AM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

...is that the same or different then therapists who have sex with their patients?

And has there been a breech of trust when both people consent?

(looks like the same question but it is really 2 separate ones)

IMO yes they are similiar to a therapist.
And yes I think it could be a breech of trust.Reason for that it has the ability to change the relationship...which can change how one looks at a Mentor.

I wouldnt have sex with someone I Mentor.
And for the record I wouldnt do My therapist either... LOL

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 1:53:27 PM

MomentsofHistory

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I must agree with the others that suggest there is nothing wrong ethically with Mentors haveing sexual relations with their mentees... I think that the sexual aspects of D/s allow for that kind of consensual contact. It may very well suit the needs of the mentee as well as the Mentor....

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 1:56:35 PM

mnottertail

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well, between the mentors and the mentees are a whole class of people, called mental, and I being one of those will go get me some blowjobs.

Ron

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RE: Mentors who have sex with their mentees.... - 1/19/2007 1:57:55 PM

BRNaughtyAngel