RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

darksdesire -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/19/2007 5:48:37 PM)
I have done it, and it is always,always when I am insecure, and not expressing a need i have directly. It's not topping to express a need openly and honestly, but when I find myself expressing it in a slightly manipulative way, then I'm topping. I'm trying to control the situation, trying to create a specific response in Him. I rarely do it, but....when I do, I feel pretty humbled.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/19/2007 5:52:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steviemichael Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom ? and were those actions or attiudes intentional or just a simple misunderstandin ?[;)] either by accident or on purpose, i think just about every sub has Topped from the bottom at least once.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/19/2007 7:40:26 PM)
I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped. Magik's slave

darksdesire -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/19/2007 8:08:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped. Magik's slave I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no.

iwearpanties -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/20/2007 3:30:10 AM)
as a sub male ive read and heard many others claim that mostly male subs do this topping from the bottom like pushing for the things the need or crave or is it makeing the Dom or Domme do thing too them the sub they want ..... i hope this what where talking about here.....

RumpusParable -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 2:47:02 AM)
Yes and No. Yes, I've been "guilty" in the use of the word as meaning "have you done it". No, I've not been "guilty" in the use meaning having done wrong. The cases where I've done so have been appropriate ones. Working and giving feedback with new (to me, not in general) tops and in guiding new (in general) dominants. No, again, in that when I have someone that I can give over the reins completely to, I don't second-guess them... when I give-over, I give-over.

stateira -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 8:42:09 AM)
I have unintentionally done it a couple times with Master, but it was always corrected immediately and now it is only done in jest...lol I'm not brave enough to do it seriously.

swtnsparkling -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 3:01:34 PM)
I've thought alot aobut this and Honeslty I dont remember ever having done so. I say no I havent............but I could have a mind block lol

backseatbebe -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 5:02:07 PM)
yes i have done it on purpose its an easy way to pick out the fakes cause the real Dom/mes will not let that happen i need Someone who is smart enough to know thats its happening and be able to control it mainly because i like the mind control more than the actual sex or pain side of bdsm and only feel guilty about it when i get caught cause if they can see what im doing they deserve more respect then ive given them

MagiksSlave -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 6:01:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darksdesire quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped. Magik's slave I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no. No honestly I still dont see it. I dont think that a sub convaying needs (even if done in bad tast) is what people call topping from the bottom. I still think its another term used so Doms dont have to deel with needs and wants besides their own. Magik's slave

MaryT -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 6:28:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darksdesire I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no. How's this?: "I've no clue where we're going with this and can't seem to get any clarity. I'm finding it frustrating, and I've decided to stop expending thought and energy on it until I hear that you would prefer otherwise." Topping from the bottom or not? MaryT

wednesday -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/22/2007 6:32:21 PM)
sigh this may get me in trouble, but... The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!" That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs [;)]

hersforever -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/23/2007 10:59:07 AM)
I think we have all done it, but as to wheather we did it on purpose, that is another matter. I have never done it intentinally, and when done, Domina is quick to correct it.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/23/2007 1:03:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wednesday sigh this may get me in trouble, but... The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!" That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs [;)] Thank you!! this is what I have been trying to say Magik's slave

slo18 -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/23/2007 4:19:50 PM)
yes I have, I have done it as a way of testing out people and how far they will let me go, my curent Dom wont let me get very far but I still try. I concider it fun, he and I have talked about it so he knows I will try and he enjoys it considers it a challange of wills he also knows that all he has to is say no and i will stop. on a purely selfish and some would say unsubly note, I enjoy manipulateing people who are either to lazy to care or to stupid to relize i am doing it.

MasterGremlin -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/23/2007 6:13:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave quote: ORIGINAL: wednesday sigh this may get me in trouble, but... The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!" That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs [;)] Thank you!! this is what I have been trying to say Magik's slave A perspective from the other side. I posess probably one of the most submissive women I know. Not the most perverted or "freaky" in bed (though she's good in that aspect as well) but more so one that wants to follow a leader in her path through life. As in everyone's life we've had some very trying times. As the leader in this arrangement that means that it's my responsibility to find our way out of these trying times. In some of these trying times her needs (sexual and attention time) have been neglected. Not because I was unaware of them but rather because our "wants" were placed on the back burner to fix our "needs". At the time she fell into the habit of trying to top from the bottom (behaving badly to illict a punishment cause she knows I get turned on by her discomfort from corporal punishment). She did not realize this is what she was doing at the time but told me afterword that she came to realize it. The punishment she got was not the fun kinky things that you see on websites but still corrected her behavior so that we could continue on the path out of our "trying times". So yes subs sometimes attempt to top from the bottom, and hopefully the dom has the time, energy and experience to correct this behavior before it comes to ruin things for A/all. Again, I am amazed out the black and white world that some who posts on these websites seem to live in. In this lifestyle there are usually just varying shades of gray. MG

simplyangelic1 -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/24/2007 1:42:10 AM)
I was accused of it once when I asked permission to speak freely and told a Dom I was talking to at the time that something he did was hurting me emotionally. To which he informed me I was trying to top from the bottom. Go figure.

Devilslilsister -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/24/2007 8:14:52 AM)
Master says i have done it..... he made mention of it back in the begining. I'm sure i do do it. I unfortunetly have personality flaws that lead me to be sneaky and manipulative. Aye and i can be really damn good at it. I can also be pushy and i can think up 200 ways from sunday, why what i want is "correct". Along those lines i can also argue a point on and on and on. When all else fails, i have been known to stoop to being whiny long enough to realise it wont work. i have a just have a bad tendency to apply everything that has worked in my life to get what i want. Where there is a will there is a way! If i have the will, i tend to look for the way......... what can i say? i'm stubborn. Does Master have major issues with it? Newp. Its pretty obvious about me, he's well aware of it, and he's also well aware that i get caught up in "wanting my way". He is just super good at holding his ground. Over time, i've realised that NONE of it works and these days i just simply ask him "will whining, argueing, and begging change your mind?" His answer is always No - and i move on. Luckily for me, he didnt mind telling me No about 30 times in the beginning and i learned to deal with the frustration of not getting my way. My honesty has done me in and have given up a few of my "ways" to manipulate him. Which is really a good thing. As i never really wanted to get my way, i just never knew how to "not" get my way. Though i must admit, i still back slide at times and Master stays the same. So yes, i've been guilty of it. Yes i am better at it. And Thank God Master is smart enough to know my tricks so i dont end up cutting off my nose despite my face. (P.S. i think this is what topping from the bottom is...)

childofpain -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/24/2007 8:50:08 AM)
yes once..and i couldn't sit for threes days after, i'll do it again

AquaticSub -> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom (1/24/2007 9:49:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave No honestly I still dont see it. I dont think that a sub convaying needs (even if done in bad tast) is what people call topping from the bottom. I still think its another term used so Doms dont have to deel with needs and wants besides their own. Magik's slave I've got to agree. I've run across dominants who say that it's possible to still be dominant yet enjoy getting a spanking. I think it is true, however you never hear people complain about "bottoming from the top", or least not to the extent of "topping from the bottom". I have needs, I make them known. I put down my foot once and told my dominant that it wasn't fair for us to only see his family and I really wanted him to come visit mine with me (which it turned out to be just a case of runaway nerves and now he gets along great with my family). Some people might see that as topping from the bottom. He didn't and really that's all that matters.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875