RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/19/2007 5:48:37 PM

darksdesire

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

I have done it, and it is always,always when I am insecure, and not expressing a need i have directly. It's not topping to express a need openly and honestly, but when I find myself expressing it in a slightly manipulative way, then I'm topping. I'm trying to control the situation, trying to create a specific response in Him. I rarely do it, but....when I do, I feel pretty humbled.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 21

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/19/2007 5:52:24 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom ?
and were those actions or attiudes intentional or just a simple misunderstandin ?

either by accident or on purpose, i think just about every sub has Topped from the bottom at least once.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 22

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/19/2007 7:40:26 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 23

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/19/2007 8:08:33 PM

darksdesire

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped.

Magik's slave

I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 24

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/20/2007 3:30:10 AM

iwearpanties

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

as a sub male ive read and heard many others claim that mostly male subs do this topping from the bottom like pushing for the things the need or crave or is it makeing the Dom or Domme do thing too them the sub they want ..... i hope this what where talking about here.....

(in reply to darksdesire)

Post #: 25

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 2:47:02 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Yes and No.

Yes, I've been "guilty" in the use of the word as meaning "have you done it".

No, I've not been "guilty" in the use meaning having done wrong. The cases where I've done so have been appropriate ones. Working and giving feedback with new (to me, not in general) tops and in guiding new (in general) dominants. No, again, in that when I have someone that I can give over the reins completely to, I don't second-guess them... when I give-over, I give-over.

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 26

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 8:42:09 AM

stateira

Posts: 48
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

I have unintentionally done it a couple times with Master, but it was always corrected immediately and now it is only done in jest...lol I'm not brave enough to do it seriously.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 27

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 3:01:34 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I've thought alot aobut this and Honeslty I dont remember ever having done so.
I say no I havent............but I could have a mind block lol

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to stateira)

Post #: 28

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 5:02:07 PM

backseatbebe

Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

yes i have done it on purpose
its an easy way to pick out the fakes
cause the real Dom/mes will not let that happen
i need Someone who is smart enough to know thats its happening and be able to control it
mainly because i like the mind control more than the actual sex or pain side of bdsm
and only feel guilty about it when i get caught
cause if they can see what im doing they deserve more respect then ive given them

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 6:01:23 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I honestly dont beleave there is a such thing as topping from the bottom and rather it is Doms that dont want to hear any input from the sub or slave and when they get it or the sub slave asks for something it is called that as a way to make it sound bad and there for be stoped.

Magik's slave

I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no.

No honestly I still dont see it. I dont think that a sub convaying needs (even if done in bad tast) is what people call topping from the bottom. I still think its another term used so Doms dont have to deel with needs and wants besides their own.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to darksdesire)

Post #: 30

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 6:28:49 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire
I can see how you could come to this conclusion, but I've learned that it's all in how the asking is done. A direct, respectful, submissive request such as "Master, could I have more time with you today?" versus, pouting and saying "You never spend time with me!" Two different ways of expressing a need. The second is topping from the bottom imo because it's manipulative, and is attempting to elicit a specific response where as the first is asking for what you need with the acceptance that he might just say no.

How's this?: "I've no clue where we're going with this and can't seem to get any clarity. I'm finding it frustrating, and I've decided to stop expending thought and energy on it until I hear that you would prefer otherwise."

Topping from the bottom or not?

MaryT

(in reply to darksdesire)

Post #: 31

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/22/2007 6:32:21 PM

wednesday

Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

*sigh* this may get me in trouble, but...

The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!"

That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 32

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/23/2007 10:59:07 AM

hersforever

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/22/2007
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

I think we have all done it, but as to wheather we did it on purpose, that is another matter. I have never done it intentinally, and when done, Domina is quick to correct it.

_____________________________

Always Hers Forever.
To love only one limits our understanding of humanity.
Slave Registration #530-193-026

(in reply to wednesday)

Post #: 33

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/23/2007 1:03:19 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wednesday

*sigh* this may get me in trouble, but...

The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!"

That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs

Thank you!! this is what I have been trying to say

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to wednesday)

Post #: 34

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/23/2007 4:19:50 PM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

yes I have, I have done it as a way of testing out people and how far they will let me go, my curent Dom wont let me get very far but I still try. I concider it fun, he and I have talked about it so he knows I will try and he enjoys it considers it a challange of wills he also knows that all he has to is say no and i will stop. on a purely selfish and some would say unsubly note, I enjoy manipulateing people who are either to lazy to care or to stupid to relize i am doing it.

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 35

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/23/2007 6:13:42 PM

MasterGremlin

Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: wednesday

*sigh* this may get me in trouble, but...

The only time I've ever heard Doms complain directly to me about their little sub "topping from the bottom" it was either A)he was a boring/unskilled/clueless Top, or B) he's the kind of guy who got into BDSM because of his contempt for women and doesn't actually care about the subs needs/wants. You know, "I don't care if you can't feel your fingers, quit telling me what to do!"

That being said, I'm sure there are legitimate cases of pushy subs

Thank you!! this is what I have been trying to say

Magik's slave

A perspective from the other side. I posess probably one of the most submissive women I know. Not the most perverted or "freaky" in bed (though she's good in that aspect as well) but more so one that wants to follow a leader in her path through life. As in everyone's life we've had some very trying times. As the leader in this arrangement that means that it's my responsibility to find our way out of these trying times. In some of these trying times her needs (sexual and attention time) have been neglected. Not because I was unaware of them but rather because our "wants" were placed on the back burner to fix our "needs". At the time she fell into the habit of trying to top from the bottom (behaving badly to illict a punishment cause she knows I get turned on by her discomfort from corporal punishment). She did not realize this is what she was doing at the time but told me afterword that she came to realize it. The punishment she got was not the fun kinky things that you see on websites but still corrected her behavior so that we could continue on the path out of our "trying times". So yes subs sometimes attempt to top from the bottom, and hopefully the dom has the time, energy and experience to correct this behavior before it comes to ruin things for A/all.

Again, I am amazed out the black and white world that some who posts on these websites seem to live in. In this lifestyle there are usually just varying shades of gray.

MG

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 36

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/24/2007 1:42:10 AM

simplyangelic1

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

I was accused of it once when I asked permission to speak freely and told a Dom I was talking to at the time that something he did was hurting me emotionally. To which he informed me I was trying to top from the bottom. Go figure.

(in reply to steviemichael)

Post #: 37

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/24/2007 8:14:52 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Master says i have done it..... he made mention of it back in the begining. I'm sure i do do it. I unfortunetly have personality flaws that lead me to be sneaky and manipulative. Aye and i can be really damn good at it. I can also be pushy and i can think up 200 ways from sunday, why what i want is "correct". Along those lines i can also argue a point on and on and on. When all else fails, i have been known to stoop to being whiny long enough to realise it wont work.

i have a just have a bad tendency to apply everything that has worked in my life to get what i want. Where there is a will there is a way! If i have the will, i tend to look for the way......... what can i say? i'm stubborn.

Does Master have major issues with it? Newp. Its pretty obvious about me, he's well aware of it, and he's also well aware that i get caught up in "wanting my way". He is just super good at holding his ground. Over time, i've realised that NONE of it works and these days i just simply ask him "will whining, argueing, and begging change your mind?" His answer is always No - and i move on. Luckily for me, he didnt mind telling me No about 30 times in the beginning and i learned to deal with the frustration of not getting my way.

My honesty has done me in and have given up a few of my "ways" to manipulate him. Which is really a good thing. As i never really wanted to get my way, i just never knew how to "not" get my way.

Though i must admit, i still back slide at times and Master stays the same.

So yes, i've been guilty of it. Yes i am better at it. And Thank God Master is smart enough to know my tricks so i dont end up cutting off my nose despite my face. (P.S. i think this is what topping from the bottom is...)

< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 1/24/2007 8:17:57 AM >

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

Post #: 38

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/24/2007 8:50:08 AM

childofpain

Posts: 44
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline

yes once..and i couldn't sit for threes days after, i'll do it again

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 39

RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom - 1/24/2007 9:49:30 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

No honestly I still dont see it. I dont think that a sub convaying needs (even if done in bad tast) is what people call topping from the bottom. I still think its another term used so Doms dont have to deel with needs and wants besides their own.

Magik's slave

I've got to agree. I've run across dominants who say that it's possible to still be dominant yet enjoy getting a spanking. I think it is true, however you never hear people complain about "bottoming from the top", or least not to the extent of "topping from the bottom". I have needs, I make them known. I put down my foot once and told my dominant that it wasn't fair for us to only see his family and I really wanted him to come visit mine with me (which it turned out to be just a case of runaway nerves and now he gets along great with my family). Some people might see that as topping from the bottom. He didn't and really that's all that matters.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/24/2007 9:51:38 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Have you ever been guilty of Toping from the bottom

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078