RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here?

RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (Full Version)

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cyberdude611 -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/20/2007 10:28:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDolly quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this. Are you kidding? How many female wankers do you think actually exist? lol Majority of male doms don't complain b/c they have lax standards; so long as they have a few holes to fuck their happy. Quality? You tell me. Lax standards? THEY are the ones doing the searching, not the female subs! The male doms go out and email 20 subs closest to where they live and matches interests. 5 probably reply, and out of that five there is probably 1 or 2 that they would pick to go further with and see what develops. If that fails, they try again. Female doms sit at the computer until their mailbox has 100 messages, then they delete half of them right off the bat. And then complain on these forums that they can't find anyone serious.

tetherboy -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/20/2007 10:39:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 I think it is a social thing. Everyone has been programmed by society that the woman is not supposed to make the first move in a relationship. Although such a thing is perfectly acceptable these days, it wasnt as socially acceptable all that long ago. The fact is that the person doing the searching has a better chance of finding what they like. The person that searches are only looking for a match based on what's most important to them. The person they initiate contact with may have completely different priorities. This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this. Those male doms are extremely active in trying to find a female submissive. While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel unless they go out and find the subs they like and think will be a match. Mmm.. at the risk of alienating myself entirely to the female dom population... I think cyberdude brings up a VERY interesting point.

AAkasha -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/20/2007 10:39:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 I think it is a social thing. Everyone has been programmed by society that the woman is not supposed to make the first move in a relationship. Although such a thing is perfectly acceptable these days, it wasnt as socially acceptable all that long ago. The fact is that the person doing the searching has a better chance of finding what they like. The person that searches are only looking for a match based on what's most important to them. The person they initiate contact with may have completely different priorities. This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this. Those male doms are extremely active in trying to find a female submissive. While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel unless they go out and find the subs they like and think will be a match. I aggressively pursue men without any worries about social norms. In fact, I enjoy the process. When I am seeking a submissive and have a reason to use collarme, I do and I use it thoroughly. The results vary. Lately I have not had much luck finding what I really want because it's obscure, but I'm not in any real hurry and don't feel tremendous pressure because I already have my real life, full time, devoted man-toy to bind and humiliate as needed. Akasha

MistressArri -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/20/2007 1:41:17 PM)
I for one, semi-actively, seek out subs/slaves . . ... wading through the profiles with the limited search engine capabilities here takes time however. If someone hasn't taken the time to fill in more then a line or two of thier profile to some extent though I don't bother to give them a second thought . I have emailed those either close to me that seem to be reasonable matches or worth pursueing as friends in this lifestyle. I have emailed a few with interesting profiles that caught my eye and seemed to be suitable matches. Otherwise, I let the sub iniitate contact , and present themself to me with an intelligent email. I reply to almost any civil email with the same sort of effort that was put into it . More often then not the person has not bothered to read my profile well enough to know the sort of things I seek in a sub/slave. Or worse yet they want to haggle over things " I'm perfect for you except I won't do this this and that" Please read a persons profile BEFORE you decide to email them.

gothicdiva -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/21/2007 2:50:37 PM)
I, for one, read EVERY email that I get....even the ones that are sent to my "bulk" folder. I also reply to the majority of them even if only to say, "No thanks." I am not actively seeking a sub/slave at this time. It seems that even though I have clearly stated that in my profile more than once, most men choose to ignore it or just don't read or comprehend what they read. That is one of the reasons why I have now chosen to make my profile "inactive" again. I have no problem contacting someone who is of interest to me or putting them on my "favorites" list. I have done this quite a few times. While I had not made any significant strides in finding a sub in the past, I have made some friends along the way. I also do this with Dommes whose profiles I admire. Sometimes, it is something as "innocent" as complimenting the person on a pic or their profile....nothing else. However, I am not necessarily the type to sit back and wait for someone to come to me. I've been around the scene for four years, so I also have other avenues to draw from...ie. munches, play parties. I do realize that some potential submissives/slaves are intimidated to contact a potential Mistress. Of course, for the most part, this is not the type of sub that I would want as my own if I were seeking. I appreciate someone who can and does take the initiative even if he fears he may be rejected. I also expect someone to communicate his thoughts/needs/desires even if they may not be "in sync" with mine. It's never unwelcomed when a potential sub/slave takes the time to write a well-written, thought-provoking, honest introduction that clearly states what he is hoping to gain from a relationship with me as his Mistress. However, it is frustrating to receive correspondence from those who clearly have not read my profile and do not meet my needs nor do I meet theirs and yet they still continue to waste not only their time, but mine as well.

Misstoyou -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/21/2007 10:45:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cyberdude611 ... While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel unless they go out and find the subs they like and think will be a match. Actually, from what I understand, a lot of the male Doms use the same test to determine which subs they message. lol I found and messaged my puppy first, and am very glad I did. My submissive found me and messaged me first, and I am very glad he did.

GuidingLite -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/22/2007 2:47:59 PM)
What's with all the resentment towards women? You seem like you have a strong dislike for female dominants and you like to generalize about em all to. Is there anything you like about strong dominant women? I bet I can answer that. Nothing.

Solinear -> RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? (1/22/2007 4:26:51 PM)
Y'all have my sympathies. I haven't sent out many e-mails (2 or 3?) and all of mine involve something along the lines of "I would like to know more about you, please tell me about your interests, non-BDSM being more important than BDSM interests". I think one of them I e-mailed because I thought she was hot. The others had profiles that I liked, but I wanted to learn more about. How is it that all of the HNGs (or people who should be) end up here instead of AFF? BTW, not posting this because I'm looking for a Domme - I quite specifically am not interested being dominated in the least bit, it gives me a little rubbery one ;). That being said, I'd love to be friends with a Domme, you can never have too many friends.

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