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Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 9:15:52 AM

Frank43NYC

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Or, do they even have to bother with all the emails and offers they get on a daily basis?

Is there anything you look for in a Sub Profile?

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 9:26:10 AM

MistressSassy66

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank43NYC

Or, do they even have to bother with all the emails and offers they get on a daily basis?

Is there anything you look for in a Sub Profile?

I dont actively(meaning contact them 1st) seek out submissives on this site or any other.
I also dont look at the profile other than to see where they live.I'd much rather chat
about you with you than read about you.

What I look for when chatting...honesty and a sense of humor.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 10:05:14 AM

LadyJulieAnn

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Joined: 6/29/2005
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When I was seeking, I would email subs whose profiles were well written, demonstrated interests similar to mine, and who displayed a sense of humor. Oddly enough, I ended up in a wonderful relationship with a sub who simply had "I am a sub with an interest in serving a Mistress." in his profile. The interactions following the initial contact were what brought us together.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 2:04:52 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank43NYC

Or, do they even have to bother with all the emails and offers they get on a daily basis?

Is there anything you look for in a Sub Profile?

I don't but that's not to say I never will. Anything is possible.

Yes, there are things I look for in his profile. Aside from the typical criteria most look for, there is a "certain something" that sets him apart from the others and it's hard to define. I know it when I see it. I can only give you quotes, unfortunately.

:)

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 2:06:27 PM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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If I knew how long I'd be living where we currently are I'd be actively looking -- and I wouldn't do that just online, I'd get back into the munch circuit and different groups.

As it is I do scan through the profiles every now and then and just send notes saying "Hi, you look cute and you sound intelligent".

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 5:05:01 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
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From: Arizona
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No, I do not actively seek anyone. I suppose I am one of those passive lookers. I will read any email I receive, and I will respond to email that is worthwhile. Unfortunately, there is little of that. I also make Myself available at munches and other functions in the real time community. So if I happen to meet someone, that's great. If not...*shrug*
I look at profiles after I have received an email. It is less important than the content of the email, quite frankly. I want to read an email that is thoughtful, classy, intelligent and honest. The profile gives Me other minor information such as age, location, etc. But since I am not browsing those, they are less important to Me. However, if the email is careless, and the profile has little to no information, then there is a double strike. I still like to see a profile wherein some reasonable effort has been made, but I am not reading them unless I hear from the boy in the first place or it is someone who is participating on the forums. (Yes! I read yours!)
As to your profile...You will need to spend some time looking as you are married and it seems obvious to Me that you are simply looking for a spare time play partner.
Good luck and welcome to the boards.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 6:06:09 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank43NYC

Or, do they even have to bother with all the emails and offers they get on a daily basis?

Is there anything you look for in a Sub Profile?

Once in a blue moon I will reply to a sub profile that interests Me. I live in a particular suburb in Dallas/Ft. Worth. When I see a sub profile that mentions he lives in that particular suburb, or one of the adjoining ones within 5 miles of My house, I sometimes will drop him a line since I like the convenience of having a sub who lives very close. So far, I have found that the ones very close to Me are married, work nights, or are not interested in a long-term relationship.

The other thing that may prompt Me to write to a sub is if he is around My age, lives reasonably close to Me (somewhere in DFW area), and I see that W/we have many common interests. While this had not led Me to "the one," I have met some very interesting people by doing this.

I would say 95% of the time, though, the submissive initiates contact with Me, and only 5% of the time do I initiate contact.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 6:47:16 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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They do. I know this because I rarely contact a Mistress myself, feeling they get enough emails from potential submissives that I'd rather respond to someone looking for me than to add to the headaches of yet another person she has to weed through. But women have contacted me in the past, even if it is sometimes just to share a thought because of something I wrote. On rare ocassion I will initiate contact with a Mistress, but it's usually because it seems like it's an exact match. And I'm as likely to fail in this as anyone else because quite often I don't get a response either, indicating that my theory of too much email causing saturation is probably more true than not.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 8:54:37 PM

SweetDommes

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I prefer to be contacted, and I pretty much respond to every e-mail I recieve ... even if it's just to say "you should have read the profile more closely"

I do sometimes message submissives, but rarely - and I always read a profile. If it's blank, it gives me a negative first impression (and yes, I read the profile before the e-mail). If a profile is blank, that means that either the person is too lazy to fill it out, or they have nothing worthwhile to say ... both are bad.

As for what I look for in a profile - beyond just having something in it, there are certain things that are deal breakers and certain things that I hope to see. An interest in poly-family life is a definite plus, although as long as they don't say they are looking for "the one" then we're willing to see what happens. Any references to smoking rule them out, references to 'barhopping' or 'clubbing' are negatives. If they advertise that they are looking to be feminized, we move on. If they are married or state that they are looking for 'discrete' (and various spellings) encounters ... which we read as "I'm in a committed relationship but am looking for some play on the side" then we move on. Sexual fantasies are bad ... discussing realistic expectations is a plus.

Overall, I look for people that I think will fit in with our family and with our goals.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 1/19/2007 8:57:09 PM >

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/19/2007 9:02:00 PM

TxBlkMistress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

No, I do not actively seek anyone. I suppose I am one of those passive lookers. I will read any email I receive, and I will respond to email that is worthwhile. Unfortunately, there is little of that. I also make Myself available at munches and other functions in the real time community. So if I happen to meet someone, that's great. If not...*shrug*
I look at profiles after I have received an email. It is less important than the content of the email, quite frankly. I want to read an email that is thoughtful, classy, intelligent and honest. The profile gives Me other minor information such as age, location, etc. But since I am not browsing those, they are less important to Me. However, if the email is careless, and the profile has little to no information, then there is a double strike. I still like to see a profile wherein some reasonable effort has been made, but I am not reading them unless I hear from the boy in the first place or it is someone who is participating on the forums. (Yes! I read yours!)
As to your profile...You will need to spend some time looking as you are married and it seems obvious to Me that you are simply looking for a spare time play partner.
Good luck and welcome to the boards.

what you said :>

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 2:14:32 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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Actively, no for me... And sometimes yes. M

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 2:57:36 AM

MistressMaamNH

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I do not actively seek out those to serve Me. I have My homepage set up to show only the profiles that match My criteria. If one pops up that I find particularly interesting, I will go so far as to put them on My list of favorites. If they are observant and pay attention to detail (as is required if they are ever going to crawl into My Dungeon to serve Me) they will see that I have put them on My list, and perhaps take the time to read if they meet the criteria to serve as I have set forth in My Own profile.

What one puts in their own profile and in an email-often the first impression one gives of themselves online-is extremely important. If they cannot or will not take the time to create an articulate and insightful representation of themselves, then surely they do not have what it takes to maintain the interest of this Domina. Just as important, if they contact Me, and have chosen not to read, or believe all that I have put into My Own profile, that is also a deal-breaker.

As is the case with all the other Dominant Women online....I have a plethora of males seeking to serve Me. It takes a very special, self-aware, dedicated, genuine submissive (read: not just someone looking to fill up their free time on a business trip, or worse, someone to try and make Me into an unwilling co-conspirator in their infidelities) to stand out among the throngs that approach. Does this sound harsh, and terribly unfair to the male subs out there? So, what's your point? It's the nature of the Beast...supply and Demand.

MMNH

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 3:42:00 AM

GirlWithInk

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Joined: 10/12/2006
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I certainly don't actively look; I have a full household and several prospects on the fringes and I try my best never to spread my time and attention too thin. I'll respond to anyone who messages me with a polite, readable note, but most of the time it's just to say 'sorry, what you seem to be looking for isn't what I offer or wish to give'. However, there have been a few profiles that have popped up when I logged in that caught my eye, and every now and then I'll search for profiles in my area, looking not for subs specifically but for like-minded people who it might be interesting to know. ^.^

I get a fair amount of messages, enough that wading through them often takes what little energy and interest I might have had in searching, but unfortunately most of them are from people who clearly didn't read my profile or have any interest in what it said, or from people who may have meant well but had the communication skills of a rather spastic goat with a typewriter glued to its' tail. Because of this I think it's much more likely that if any real contact is going to happen, it will be because of some initiative on the sub's part, not on mine... as in fact has been the case with a very lovely little boi who I met through here and who has been making me smile on quite a regular basis. *grin*

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 4:51:47 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
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From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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I suspect that a married guy with no picture and a profile that only has kink information on it isn't going to get a lot of attention from anyone but the prodommes.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 6:52:44 AM

MistressDolly

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One thing I look for is whether they send me the requested picture I describe in my profile. And photoshop pics do Not count. lol.

Ones whom are somewhat serious in their search for a Mistress will comply with the picture request, those that are fleeting wankers most likely won't. (This saves me a ton of wasted time from reading wank emails, btw)

Pay attention to what's in her profile. The fact that one should even have to be told to do this is suspect, however. (not you in particular - - just in general).

Good luck.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 7:19:58 AM

feralcat

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Yes ,like most of the women out here I get lots of email. Unfortunately ,they are mostly one liners (ugh)or lengthy letters telling me all the wonderful fantasies that I can do to them! Isn't that wonderful? lol I don't even have to worry about what I want/need! lol
And then every once in a blue moon,a man comes along,reads my profile and actually has a real conversation about what we have in common-both VANILLA and kink.Then my faith is renewed.:-)These are the letters I enjoy most.

Yes I usually respond in some way,even if it is to say "not interested,thank you" or sometimes I make suggestions on what might be a better way to approach a Mistress,but the "gems" get real conversation with me pretty quickly.

Something that gets my attention quick-they mention that they have checked to see if I have posted on the message boards and have read "about me" and they enjoyed what I wrote. That shows me that he is probably looking for something other than "visual" appeal.

As for hunting subs down...hmmm...those quiet ones that just add me to their "favorites" list always catch my eye. Interesting fellas sometimes!I have met a few real sweethearts that way.

best to everyone looking,
Ms Feral

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 9:19:33 AM

cyberdude611

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I think it is a social thing. Everyone has been programmed by society that the woman is not supposed to make the first move in a relationship. Although such a thing is perfectly acceptable these days, it wasnt as socially acceptable all that long ago.

The fact is that the person doing the searching has a better chance of finding what they like. The person that searches are only looking for a match based on what's most important to them. The person they initiate contact with may have completely different priorities.
This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this. Those male doms are extremely active in trying to find a female submissive. While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel unless they go out and find the subs they like and think will be a match.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 9:48:40 AM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel.

Always going to get the bottom of the barrel, huh? That's funny.

The only ones that contact them are subs with a hard-on, huh? That's even funnier.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 10:04:33 AM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this.

Are you kidding? How many female wankers do you think actually exist? lol

Majority of male doms don't complain b/c they have lax standards; so long as they have a few holes to fuck their happy. Quality? You tell me.

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RE: Do Mistresses actively seek out Subs here? - 1/20/2007 10:21:23 AM

MistressMaamNH

Posts: 211
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

I think it is a social thing. Everyone has been programmed by society that the woman is not supposed to make the first move in a relationship. Although such a thing is perfectly acceptable these days, it wasnt as socially acceptable all that long ago.

The fact is that the person doing the searching has a better chance of finding what they like. The person that searches are only looking for a match based on what's most important to them. The person they initiate contact with may have completely different priorities.
This is probably why you dont see as many male doms complaining about "wankers" or not being able to find quality submissives on websites like this. Those male doms are extremely active in trying to find a female submissive. While with female doms, the only submissives that contact them are the ones that get a hard-on just by looking at the profile's picture. So actually, those female doms are always going to get the bottom of the barrel unless they go out and find the subs they like and think will be a match.

Social conditioning? LoL yeah, I am known for doing what I am told and/or what everyone else is doing...that's what made Me the Domina I am today lol

As far as male doms finding what they want, because they are doing the searching, and not complaining about "wankers" Uh...could that be because there IS no such thing as a female "wanker" to most males? That's what they would call, a "willing participant/someone who's gonna give me the kinky sex I want without a lot of effort on my part" LOLOLOL

Re: the bottom of the barrel is all We get when We don't actively search ourselves...what a terribly judgemental thing to say..I wonder what experiences as a Dominant Female you are drawing upon, to make that assessment.

MMNH

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