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Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 9:56:36 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
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From: Stourport-England
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OK – so a friend and I are going to start doing some paid Femdom sessions! Without going too much over ground that has been done to death in previous “Pro-domme” threads, I have some questions for the Ladies and the boys and would appreciate any advice and information that can be offered. NB – we are going to offer domination services only – no sex!

Venue
She has what looks to me like an ideal set up – a large play room, a toilet and shower and a kitchen, which are all self contained in a mini apartment adjoining her home. The only negative there that I see, is that it is attached to her home and clients would have to enter through her home to reach the apartment area. Is this a security/privacy issue? (either during or even long after a session). We know of others who operate out of private homes and they at least, don’t seem to get any problems, but wondered what the view was out there?

Security
We are taking this very seriously. Although we will be interviewing potential clients before they ever get near to a session, we are both somewhat concerned about the potential for a client to “turn nasty”. We are fitting panic buttons in the play room and adjoining areas, an intercom and CCTV at the main door to the house and of course there will always be two of us around at all times, even if only one of us is with a client. Are we unduly worried here? Are there any precedents for clients becoming violent? Is there anything more we could/should do in this area?

How Should We Portray What We Do To The Outside World?
Here, we’re thinking about the likes of the tax man, snooping law enforcement and social worker types, nosey neighbours/friends/family, neighbourhood associations and the likes of the local council, mortgage lenders and insurers (who don’t like people running businesses out of their homes, period). We’re not at all ashamed or abashed at what we are or what we’re going to be doing, I should perhaps clarify. We’re interested only in keeping the whole thing on a respectable level to the outside world.

Having spoken to pro-domina friends here in the UK, it seems they put themselves down as anything from book-keepers to cake decorators as far as the outside world is concerned. However, we’d like to choose something for this purpose which is not such an absurd deception! Our best ideas so far are “lifestyle counsellors” and “personal therapists” or some such. Anyone have any other ideas?

Identity & Confidentiality Issues
Confidentiality is absolutely paramount as far as we are concerned. However, at the same time it is also important, in case of emergency and the like, that we know the client’s name and have some means of contacting someone who knows him. Are we worrying overmuch about this?

Also, should we use new aliases in our activities? Both of us are well known in UK Femdom by our current aliases, and very few even in those circles, know our real names for the usual reasons. On the one hand, Lady Ellen for instance is known to be me, and might therefore be useful in garnering trust from potential clients. On the other, Lady Ellen is me, and is it a good/bad/neutral thing to have a professional identity linked with that name, when I’m also a non professional in everyday Femdom interactions, seeking a LTR? I guess it boils down to, does it make the search for a LTR more or less difficult, if one is known to offer services for payment?

Payments
We’re going cash only. Whilst we will declare to the tax man, we don’t want huge paper trails such as credit card transactions produce, and we don’t want cheques – which of course also produce a paper trail, and can bounce! Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing and know of any pitfalls of sticking with cash, or any benefits we don’t see, of using cheques/cards?

We also intend to interview potential clients, well before and outside of any session appointment. We don’t intend to ask for payment for the interview, or tribute or whatever at that stage. However, if the potential client wishes to book an appointment at the interview, then we will ask for a non refundable cash deposit to secure that appointment – say 25% of the eventual charges. Is this normal practice? How do the boys feel about it? In the case of appointments booked by phone/email then we may have to use cheque deposits – with sufficient notice, a cheque will have cleared before the appointment anyway. How do the boys feel about this in respect of confidentiality, in that their cheque will of course have their name on it?

We will also insist that clients coming to an appointment, pay on entry rather than before leaving. The cash received will then be locked away in a hidden place. Is this normal practice? How do the boys feel about it? And one other thing – receipts; is it normal or even desirable, to issue receipts?

Charges
This is probably the most difficult element. We know friends who charge several hundred pounds for an hour session, and others who charge less than a hundred. In our view, we need to charge enough that the whole thing is worthwhile for us, and has perceived value to clients. We don’t see ourselves as being in the premier league as regards charges, but we also are not going to be the bargain basement domination service for the Midlands! So, if we were to charge a flat two hundred pounds per hour, would this be adequate to satisfy the perceived value to the boys, and keep us competitive in the market, even though its pretty much a seller’s market?

We also had the idea of offering bespoke “package deals”, consisting of a range of scenarios each individually described and priced. So, for instance, we might have a schoolroom scenario, a pony-training scenario, an Amazon scenario and so on. Is this something that anyone else does? Would this be welcome as far as the boys are concerned? Is it too prescriptive, not allowing for our creativity and our pushing limits as we see fit?

And also, a menu arrangement, where basically, the client could pick what he wanted from a menu, each item on which had a charge associated, for example a beating would be twenty-five pounds. Working this way, there would be a flat fee for the appointment, say a hundred pounds, then additional charges for each item he wants. Is this something that anyone else does? Would this be welcome as far as the boys are concerned? Is it too prescriptive, not allowing for our creativity and our pushing limits as we see fit?

Involvement/Connection With The Client
We’re going to do interviews and questionnaires, so we will know at least as much as the client wants us to know, about him. But, we do see an issue here with regard to our perceived need for some sort of connection with the client that is over and above basic facts and wants, in order to provide what he is paying for with the degree of emotional/psychological investment that we feel would be required. On the other hand, we don’t want to get too close to these clients! Any ideas, anyone?
 
I have dominated a guy in the past, in whom I was not the slightest bit interested – I should have charged, but it was marginally better than watching the TV! I managed that OK, but only by drawing on what I’d call acting. Is acting a part inherent to providing domination service on a professional basis, when you have no emotional connection with a client? Not that it troubles me particularly, as I can shift quite easily between characters, so its really just an enquiry. I also expect, should we get regulars, that this aspect will dissipate as time goes on and some sort of connection is established, anyway.
 
Advertising
We are both well connected in terms of societies and so on. We will also have a website up and running (albeit with our faces not shown). However, we do want to be discerning too – this is not an open to all service, hence the interviews. We also don’t want it to be a full time job – we’re looking for a few sessions each week, when we have time. Does anyone have any advice on how to promote the whole thing, with those aims in mind?

Insurance
This is a tricky one too. Is it even possible to get insurance? We’re thinking along the lines of someone getting unintentionally and permanently injured due to accident here, and what this would mean in terms of a claim against us, however unlikely it is that a client would break cover and reveal what it is he gets up to in his spare time.

Now, we are going to do medical questionnaires and all that, to establish what might be risky, and we are going to do the usual disclaimers – although under UK law it is not possible to deny liability in respect of injury. My friend with whom I am going to do this is a nurse, so we should be able to discern all this, and treat anything that arises as an emergency in respect of first aid at least. Does anyone have any advice on this please?

Additional Services
We have already come up with the idea of deriving additional income from such services as key holding for those who like long term chastity, dressing services for crossdressers which don’t include domination necessarily, and so on. We will not be taking on “financial slaves”, getting involved in “blackmail” scenarios and the like. But are there any other additional, non-session services we could offer?
 
Thanks in advance for all your help and advice!
E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 10:12:30 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
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Lady Ellen,
A friend of Mine had a pro area in the basement of His house with the basement door being the entrance. He only took cash, as a security He had a gun, if He were to need it. I don't know about the UK but home owners insurance would cover any injury. He advertised in the local paper with ok success. Hope that helps some.
LV

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 10:27:17 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

Lady Ellen,
A friend of Mine had a pro area in the basement of His house with the basement door being the entrance. He only took cash, as a security He had a gun, if He were to need it. I don't know about the UK but home owners insurance would cover any injury. He advertised in the local paper with ok success. Hope that helps some.
LV


The above is pretty much what I was gonna say.
And add I do a sliding fee scale for both what they want(spanking vs. bondage) and what they can afford.
A recent incident makes Me stress that you know exactly who you are dealing with and ask for valid ID.I also have everyone sign a consent form type thing.
If they dont sign they dont session.Mine isnt a legal document but one that will support My defense in court if the need should ever arise.I also retain a Lawyer for incase I should need one.
Taxes are different everywhere so I cant help with that.
I have a Certificate to operate a business in My State which again will vary from town to town.

Good Luck and try to not pull out all your hair in the beginning... 

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to LordVelvet)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 10:32:56 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
Speaking as somebody who has no real interest in the personal aspects, but purely as somebody who has run a business from home in the past......


Venue
I would remove things such as family photos from the hallway etc, keep all doors closed, and perhaps even remove any furniture from hallways en-route to the session area.

Security
CCTV Systems now fall under the auspices of the Data Protection Act. That means registration, data retention, and for clients the right to demand copies of any videos. I believe there may be some limited exemptions for systems that only retain images for very short periods. I would recommend using covert systems for client comfort (I can help in that area as I'm in the trade so to speak, but will not get too involved in public obviously). For a panic alarm system ideally you should be paying a monitoring service, get a full house system and kill 2 birds with one stone.

How Should We Portray What We Do To The Outside World?
For mortgages, insurance etc, a form of limited honesty is the only viable option, otherwise should the smelly stuff hit the blowy thing broke and homeless is a possibility

Identity & Confidentiality Issues
Data protection covers all records now, electronic or paper based, there are exemptions for short term use. For personal safety a note of registration numbers, personal descriptions etc is common sense, although as an outsider I would imagine on the personal safety front a pro-domme is at much less risk than a regular gal offering personal hospitality/therapy/massage etc

Payments
Cash will cost money to bank and automatically makes the tax man suspicious. Fraud is possible with other payment methods, but is somewhat more traceable should it become important to trace a client (either for turning the tables on you, or for having a heart attack mid-scene)

Personally I would never consider a meeting on neutral ground and handing over a deposit. I would be more inclined to pay a deposit after an interview when I have seen the location and facilities. Also by having the initial interview at your location you are in control, you have your cctv, your alarm system etc and the psychological advantage of home ground 

Charges
No idea, its not my kinda thing at all

Involvement/Connection With The Client
Again something out of my frame of reference

Advertising
The only advertising of value is word of mouth and repeat custom

Insurance
I would recommend all "staff" take a 1st aid for the workplace course, properly certified rather than accepting 2nd line training from your nursing colleague. Health & safety requirements will vary according to how you term the trade exactly, therapy would move towards healthcare, wheras hospitality would lean a different way

Additional Services
I think that this could be limited only by the imagination and dedication of your clients

 


_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 11:11:33 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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E---

This is rather unusual in that I am going to place my 2nd ENTIRELY serious post out here on CM in a year, and look how early it is.......

I think that you could define yourself as a 'LIFE COACH', I do not think that a special certification is needed, and it might be that it has much in common with that sort of endeavor.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 11:18:34 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
You feeling ok Ron?

I havent been round here long, but long enough to wonder if perhaps you need help with so much seriousness 



_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 12:45:10 PM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

OK – so a friend and I are going to start doing some paid Femdom sessions! Without going too much over ground that has been done to death in previous “Pro-domme” threads, I have some questions for the Ladies and the boys and would appreciate any advice and information that can be offered. NB – we are going to offer domination services only – no sex!

Venue

If you can wing it, have a separate entrance installed and block the one from her home.

Security

Good plan to start - if you have a large male friend who you absolutely trust.  Bartering free sessions in exchange for on-site presence might be an option.

How Should We Portray What We Do To The Outside World?

Find a Lifestyle aware lawyer and ask alot of questions.

Identity & Confidentiality Issues

Confidentiality is one thing, safety is another.  Get as much information as you can, yet treat it as precious as you can.  Keep it offsite if necessary

Get a new alias for unknown people - if you know and trust the person, you can let them know who your alias is.  Better safe than sorry.  Once you get a good reputation, clients will flow.

Payments

Cash is best, bank checks are great too (but they do leave paper trail).  A deposit shouldn't be an issue and having cash in hand before a session is just prudent.

Charges

At first, start with an introductory charge for the first couple of visits.  You may not make a profit at first, but you will get their butts in the door.  Let them know how many sessions are introductory and what the charge will be after that period.
 
Once you have built the business, you can do away with the introductory sessions for new clients.  Basically, get people in and build your reputation.  Once your repuration has been established; word of mouth referrals will build your business.
 
As far as scenarios go - the more effort for you, the more you should charge.

Involvement/Connection With The Client

Since I'm only marginally interested in myself - I don't think I can help on this topic LOL

Advertising

Nothing to add.

Insurance

I don't know about insurance, but make sure they sign an idemnity clause that basically states that they know what they are getting themselves into and that accidents are possible.  This may only be a speed bump for the client's lawyer, but maybe your lawyer can work with it.

Additional Services

Over the phone verbal abuse / humilation.
 


The best of luck to you and PLEASE be safe!!!!!

_____________________________

These are my opinions - which may differ from your opinions. They may be right and just as equally wrong.

Beware, author is often sarcastic in his replies - most often, no sincere offense is intended.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 12:48:29 PM   
mnottertail


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If you cant find a way to make a separate entrance, consider chinese style screens along the path---- straight and direct easy to store easy to move and easy to set up, hell the minute they come in the door, blindfold them.

Ron  

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 2:02:45 PM   
thetammyjo


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I hope you have done this but if not make sure you do: Look into the zoning laws.

It can be very easy to fall into the eyes of the law if you aren't careful and neighbors can be nosy.

If you don't want to see it as an adult business (one pro-dom in our area tried to argue it was drama/therapy and that hasn't flown very far) make sure you are legal ok with running one where you are or you could get into trouble. You don't want that kind of trouble.

You may want to have a lawyer as well to make sure you do things as legally as possible.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/19/2007 3:58:24 PM   
LadyEllen


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Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
Thanks everyone - much appreciated!

Especially to Ron for the honour (not taken lightly) of benefitting from a serious post LOL!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/21/2007 9:57:54 AM   
Emmy1946


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I would just like to add in reading what Lady Ellen had to say as well as the thought out quality of her questions to the group, she demonstrates just what a high quality domme and person she is.  That question about the degree of psychological and emotional attachment to her submissive- above and beyond the mechanical acts of domination- again show her to be a superior woman- worthy of the title "Mistress" or "Lady" (and certainly to mention "Goddess").
Emmy1946

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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/21/2007 10:29:59 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
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There were a number of great points that covered safety issues. As for payment, you might look at using some of the on-line services available (Clickbank, PayPal, etc.). Some men hesitate to carry cash and with the easy availability of online banking, payment can be taken at time of services. Be cautious to only accept online payments where there are guaranteeed funds.
 
Good luck in your endeavors.
 
Mistress Ylwa

_____________________________

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to Emmy1946)
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RE: Not Another Pro-Domme Bashing Thread! - 1/21/2007 12:07:26 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

If you cant find a way to make a separate entrance, consider chinese style screens along the path---- straight and direct easy to store easy to move and easy to set up, hell the minute they come in the door, blindfold them.

Ron  


Or save the labor and have them put on a sleep mask and sit in a chair placed inside your entrance and guide them back to your dungeon via a collar and leash  that you would put n them.. or by the hand.. or appendage of your choice.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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