onestandingstill -> RE: Have you ever used play to mask day to day pain? (1/24/2007 11:42:46 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cjenny quote:
ORIGINAL: onestandingstill What the down side is for me is the next day not only does the prior pain come back, but the sub drop can magnify it and make matters worse. I personally DROP HARD after a hard scene for a day or two. There have been times like sub4hire mentions where if I'm just antsy or stressed it fully disappears in the extreme sensation, but my real pain seems to just go and wait around the corner till it's buddy sub drop comes back with it in tow. Do I still recommend playing when in pain? Sometimes. I'm not into the masochistic like the pain in it's own accord I actually feel it's more torture than a good thing to play with the one who's left me with unresolved bad emotions and makes me anxiety driven. Yesss. Sigh. It comes back treblefold sometimes and I never know when it will do so. Simply a massage can do this! It is a big part of why I am debating shutting down this part of my life. I can't keep compartmentalizing things, nothing stays in place like it ought to. *the usual. IMO. OHHHH You and I must be very alike in this indeed. One of my most trusted Dom friends is a psychologist. He told me this driving need for everything to fit in any category or box kink or vanilla comes from being a control freak. Not in others, but within ourselves toward our selves. His advice was to quit all the rationalizing everything to death and JUST BE. He said in predicting, or putting everything into boxes we actually put our path in a jail of sorts. My homework (lol Which I've been doing now about 5 months and have no where near finished yet) was not to say I think things are like such and such, or I need so and so to do such and such, or I want such and such from this activity, but rather to act on our desires without predicting the outcome before we even are comfortable enough to begin. He said stop analyzing everything to death and take it just as it is without twisting it till it makes sense to me. Not everything has to be understood to be able to deal with it. Some things there is no reason why it just plain is that way. He also said only my motives or reasons I did something are relevant to me, and to stop imposing my thoughts into other's actions. I don;t think if you feel you are a sub that leaving would be anything other than more detrimental than staying the course and maybe more damaging in the long run. Remember it's always darkest before the dawn. What if your dawn in BDSM is right around the corner? Putting on a blindfold or hiding in the windowless cellar won't keep it from coming, it will just stop the beauty you'd get in participating in it instead of trying to pretend it wasn't there. If you'd like to discuss this more privately I welcome you to write me here. suzanne
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