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definition - 1/20/2007 1:37:46 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I know how I define service submissive. From the emails and IMs that I've received, my definition is NOT the one most of those who contact me have for the phrase. How do you define it?
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 2:18:54 PM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		sublizzie,
 
a "service" submissive or slave, i would have thought, would be one who attends to domestic duties. 
 
maybe s/he does or does not have sexual gratification from their Master/Mistress *depending on their dynamic*. 
 
my understanding this sort of service is not uncommon in *poly families* from what I have read, but is certainly not in this girl's experience.  An interesting topic and one which i would like to see others reply to. 
 
~mystiquenz~

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 2:20:29 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline


One who's enjoyment comes from serving another. Pretty much the behaviors of a well behaved butler or maid that can be used sexually any time their boss wants to.



(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 2:36:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think there are differing ways I have of perceiving this..

One way is a submissive that is primarily motivated to serve. This submissive (in my mind at least) gets pleasure from serving their dominant in nonsexual ways. I am largely motivated by this, although I have other motivations too. I do love to be of service in a myriad of ways.

I think of the term "service submissive" as being somewhat different than what I posted above. To me this has the connotation of someone who is a nonsexual submissive who derives their pleasure from nonsexual service... although I am probably wrong about that... I think of no-strings housework when I hear that phrase.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 2:39:42 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think of no-strings housework when I hear that phrase.


Me too.  I think the same thing when I hear the word "wife." 

MaryT

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 2:40:43 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A person who is oriented in their intimate personal relationships to transfer authority in day to day life to another who accepts that authority.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MaryT)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 8:04:18 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		The definitions posted here are similar to my own, though no-strings housework is not really my thing. I would like to understand why so many of the men who have read my profile think that service submissive means they should command me to get between their legs and provide some "service" or that I should, whether through IMs or emails, provide them with sexually stimulating verbage. I'm not unwilling to provide said services within a D/s relationship but as the only services that are required?? It boggles my mind, frankly.

I have another question. Do you think men are more service-oriented as submissives or women? I guess I tend to hear more male submissives talking about it than female submissives and I wonder if I'm hearing wrong or if that's true. If it is, then why is that?

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/20/2007 11:53:35 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Greetings..~smiles~

Service slave has always meant all encompassing to me. You serve the Owner period.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 3:45:30 AM   
IvyP


Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		Sheer Bliss  :)

(in reply to starshineowned)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 3:59:05 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think of no-strings housework when I hear that phrase.


Me too.  I think the same thing when I hear the word "wife." 

MaryT



This is good!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MaryT)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 4:56:36 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

The definitions posted here are similar to my own, though no-strings housework is not really my thing. I would like to understand why so many of the men who have read my profile think that service submissive means they should command me to get between their legs and provide some "service" or that I should, whether through IMs or emails, provide them with sexually stimulating verbage. I'm not unwilling to provide said services within a D/s relationship but as the only services that are required?? It boggles my mind, frankly.


I understand sexual submissiveness because that's my thing.  I could be a submissive only in that fashion and be happy with that.  I get keeping home, having dinner on the table, etc., because that is my background.  I don't find it appealing in a 24/7 since career and activities outside the home can make the 50's-style marriage an exhausting way to do life ... for the wife anyway.  Toss a couple unmentionables into the picture and it's too much for me.

You seem to mean neither sex nor domestic stuff when you say "service."  How do you envision it?

MaryT

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 6:03:26 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I see a service submissive as someone who provides "full service" in whatever is wanted by the Dominant in thier life. Housework is included, though it's not my favorite part. Sexual service is also included, and I enjoy that, but it's not the be-all and end-all for me. For many of the men I've been contacted by on here that is the only service they are interested in. I need to provide more service than that for my needs to be met. I know it's horribly selfish of me, but I need to do more practical stuff than give blowjobs or write good porn for wanking.

(in reply to MaryT)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 7:05:35 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Full Service Submissive sounds good to me.  Uh oh, that could create a new discussion on the difference between a full service submissive vs. a slave.  

I enjoy doing it all...., housework, sex, watching football, etc...

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 8:11:18 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
I know it's horribly selfish of me, but I need to do more practical stuff than give blowjobs or write good porn for wanking.


If you offered to do their laundry and wash their windows, would they mind? 

If I was in a live-in relationship, I would be doing housework and stuff because I do that anyway.  It's just not something I could get off on.  Any expectations would have to depend on other activities.  The week before finals, nothing productive would happen in the home.  When spring comes - I'm in the garden (or would be if I had one).  The dang house could wait until fall. 

MaryT, looking out at the snow and wishing for spring

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 8:46:21 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		sublizzie,
It really doesn't matter how anyone else defines it; all that matters is how you define it. From there it is just the legwork of finding somone who defines it more or less as you do. That person will likely be a good match for you. And that takes time.....

Namaste, Sir Dominic

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 10:31:21 AM   
HollyS


Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I know how I define service submissive. From the emails and IMs that I've received, my definition is NOT the one most of those who contact me have for the phrase. How do you define it? 


I self-identify as a service submissive, which means I really enjoy giving non-sexual service as part of the D/s dynamic.  I make dinner reservations, do research, valet for him when we travel, rub his feet, draw a bath, cook, know what he drinks and take care of all sorts of small things that make his life easier.  It's different from, say, someone who is used primarily for sex -- I'm a bit more "all-purpose."

As someone else said, though, your definition is what really matters.  Good luck with that. *grin*

~Holly


_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 12:33:37 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		When I used to consider myself more service oriented, I thought of it in asexual terms.  I was ok with sex as part of the relationship, but it wasn't my primary motivation.  I never ran into anyone who was interested in this kind of thing except as an erotic role play or something akin to foreplay, so I kind of gave up.  I was involved in a dominant for a long time and came really close to painting his garage as a form of service, but when push came to shove, he wouldn't really let me and it was either argue and fight about it or turn the paint sprayer over to him.  Being submissive, guess what I did? 

I don't consider myself service oriented any more.

(in reply to sublizzie)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 12:36:09 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		It is important that we each know our definition of terms so we are on the same page when discussing them.
for me..
A service submissive is someone who enjoys and finds pleasure in providing different kind of service to other people in order to please them or make life easier on  them.

Pretty open definition.  Compare it to a personal office assistant, someone who does a hundred things often behind the scene and frees up the boss or Dominant to do what he or she needs, or wants, to do.

So what is the difference between just doing something for someone (service) and “submissive service”? 

Attitude and pleasure received.  At work if i am told to research and write a summary i do it but only because i want to get paid and keep my job. At home if told to research and write a summary, i do it because it pleases my Owner, makes His life smoother, easire, and i get pleasure out of knowing i help Him.

It is not just domestic but all kind of service: life, home and personal.

(in reply to HollyS)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: definition - 1/21/2007 1:21:34 PM   
cjbbw


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/2/2005
From: Saint Paul, MN
Status: offline 		Part of the problem with language, is that it all depends on context.  The defininition is always a bit different depending on one's perspective.  Rather than seeing a phrase like "service submissive" and assuming that the person using it means it in exactly the same way YOU do, it is necessary to communicate with them on an individual basis ...  This is NOT a bad thing.  Communication is necessary in any relationship, no matter how casual or intimate. 

For me a service submissive means a submissive who desires to please in all way, not just sexually.

_____________________________

"We are only given a little spark of madness... we must not lose it." Robin Williams

(in reply to goodpet)
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RE: definition - 1/21/2007 1:39:41 PM   
Lucius


Posts: 80
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
I have another question. Do you think men are more service-oriented as submissives or women? I guess I tend to hear more male submissives talking about it than female submissives and I wonder if I'm hearing wrong or if that's true. If it is, then why is that?


If it's true (not saying it is) My guess would be that it's because more Masters/Dominant Males are more interested in the sexual aspects, and more Mistresses/Dominant Females are more interested in recieving other forms of service instead or in addition to sexual services.

It would be interesting if we could compare notes (or anecdotes) with the gay and lesbian counterparts...if I'm right that the submissives are as they are in response to what's in demand among Dominants (and note gypsygrl's account of changing her self-definition in response to the frustration of finding it NOT in demand - which I think is sad, that a girl has something of value to offer and is prevented from giving it) then perhaps we'd find submissive lesbians more "service oriented" and the gay males more all about the sex and BDSM play.

Then again, my assumptions and speculations could be entirely in error from beginning to end. It wouldn't be the first time.

Lucius Alexander

The Palindromedary adds "In other words, Lucius, You could be wrong. You often are."

(in reply to sublizzie)
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