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RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 1:42:24 PM   
loneleader


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		thank you for all the responses to my call, at least the latest ones  include some more constructive comments; as for changing the text on my profile, i just tried to do that, which proves that i do take even negative criticisms in consideration, dont judge if you do not want to be judged, i thought i would express myself here, and i would get an answer to the message , not to the way it is expressed,but even the way i do that seems to be scrutinized by some, so we will never finish arguing, I am not in the docks,i only asked for a piece of advice......... as for the reference to a majority of opinions, i prefer not to answer, majorities can be so wrong, it is a fact ,even for bdsm lovers these days...anyway,this is my last intervention on this theme, as i think i have what i was asking for, and a lot more, whether i liked it or not ..

(in reply to trinity46)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 1:49:04 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Honestly, I think it is likely a recipe for disaster.  In most relationships, the time away from one another in jobs and alone time is as necessary for the relationship not to implode as the time together is.  Have you considered how quickly you and your slave would burn out on one another if you spend every waking moment together?
You would need a priority fr your relationship OR your professional relatonship as wel as a clear idea of what might happen if the slave gained this high up position and the the two of you didnt work out.
If you can find someone for whom this arrangeent will work out, then the bestfor you and she.  However, finding someone who wishes to be groomed for something like that is going to be a bit difficult. You might want to consider concentrating on finding the slave you want and seeing if it is possible to bring her into your business desires, ratehr thanlimiting your choices to those who could be integrated.

Just my opinion
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to trinity46)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 1:53:43 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

i thought the return was obvious as being a speeded promotion and having a share in a developing business..what slave should hesitate if she can help her master, even in his business, to the point of becoming her partner ?doing domestic chores is ok  for some of them, but so many 'personal assistants' in fact manage the business , with or without their boss, being recognized for her value and contribution other than sex should satisfy more than one slave...?as for the other point, i have recently been duped by some gold-digger, and am certainly not going to make the same mistake again,she will have to obey first. and prove her worth, then be rewarded by more and more responsibilites, starting by handling other slaves, then being part of the business.. I thought that was appealing enough...


<spitting her coffee on the screen> this is just toooo much. Let's see now. a slave is to find working like a dog, serving sexually, training other slaves and "being part of the business" (and which part is that?) rewarding? In what way pray tell? i wish for once some of you guys would ask yourself one bloody question. "Would i think this was a good deal if it was asked of me?" geeeeesh - oh and btw - since your business isn't actually - uhm - running well enough not to need this so-called slave's services, how would she be a gold-digger? OY.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 3:30:37 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I only perused the replies, but my impression is that you are going about this as though you can stroll down the isle of your local Wall Mart and pick a slave off a shelf.  The thing about us slaves is that we are thinking, breathing, feeling humans and not necessarily the provider of volunteer services to any proclaimed Master who needs help running his business.  Most people I know (D/s or "vanilla" or any other flavor) are most inspired when motivated toward fulfillment. Personally speaking, anyone could offer me partnership in a business, but is the person capable, strong, ethical human being?  Or is he a clod?  Is he going to look after me as his property?  Or is he going to bring harm to me.  Will I be fulfilled in serving him?  If so, why?  If not, why not? 

This is what is meant when you are asked what are you offering.  Personally speaking a Master would have to be more powerful and stronger than me in order to capture my attention, let alone dominate me, business partner or not.

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 4:01:11 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

obviously i must be doing some things wrong,as i dont seem to even get through to other doms...


Well ... yes; I believe that's what everyone has been telling you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

so many things are obvious for me that i did not even mention them ,like wages, accommodation, etc.. provided to the slave, and a possible help if things dont work out, we are not horses, we are all humans, but that seemed so obvious to me that i did not mention it...


If there is one thing that people learn here pretty quickly, it's not to assume anything ... least of all those things that, to you, seem obvious.  The advice you have been given so far, albeit a bit vehemently, is that you do need to state the obvious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

...on the other hand, i am STUNNED by the negative attitude of most responses so far, except from the perverter female, that seems to understand a bit what business and business partnership is about, but for the other comments, why all the negative criticism about myself, etc... you dont know me, ..communication and expression seems to be my weak side, and I posted this ad to ask for advice as i recognized that something was wrong , ...telling me that my ad or my profile is wrong doesnt help, even though it may make you happy to be negative, but  i am looking for positive remarks, suggestions , as what to do, not being told that I am too bad, etc...  i am what i am , but i asked for advice on how to pass the message better ... and thought that doms here were ready to pass on the advice, not only point fingers..., who says that you are right anyway ?? nobody owns the truth, You have your side of it, i have my view on this side......if it is to tell me that i will not succeed,please do not waste your time nor mine writing it here, I am looking for Positive suggestions only, suggestions on what to do, that i will consider or not, negative opinions do not interest me, they only reflect on the dom that writes it and his/her limited knowledge of myself and understanding of my quest ...


First of all, I'm not sure to whom you are referring by "perverter female", but if by chance it is me, I don't appreciate the label and it's negative connotations.

As for the negative criticism that you've received, I agree that it has been a bit on the harsh side, but you did indeed ask for it...

quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

...i am looking for advice, am i doing it the wrong way.. is there something I missed ?


You asked if you were doing something wrong or if you had missed something.  Both are invitations for criticism.  You were told what you were doing wrong, and what you were missing.

If what you had really wanted were positive suggestions about how you could improve your profile, you should have asked for that.  Perhaps you expect some future slave or slaves to be able to read your mind, but the people in this forum are not them and to expect the commenters here to compensate for your lack of communication skills is highly presumptuous.

Now... as for your profile edits, I can see that you've made some effort to indicate that your "slave" would be compensated.  However, you've completely missed the point that most here were trying to make. 

And by the way, a good number of those who did respond to you were in fact of a submissive nature... the very type that you are hoping to appeal to... I suggest you carefully reconsider their responses.

At any rate, as one for whom this type of offer might appeal, let me tell you what I would insist upon seeing in your profile to even give it a second thought.  Remember that the women who might read your profile are looking for compatibility.

Tell me briefly who you are and what you envision.  Some of the questions you should consider answering are:

Are you highly educated?  A self-made man?  What kind of business are you in?  What interests you in life?  Do you speak a foreign language or have an unusual skill?  Are you married?  Are you a sadist?  Do you consider yourself harsh and severe?  Are you a romantic?  Are you wanting to care for and nourish your submissive?  What kind of treatment can your submissive expect from you?  Are you looking for D/s or M/s?  What are your expectations for time to develop your desired relationship?  Do you expect relocation immediately, or are you willing to take your time to develop a relationship?  Do you have any experience in the lifestyle?  Why do you believe you are qualified to own a slave or submissive?  Are you interested in owning more than one slave?  If you are, are you wanting a poly household where all live under one roof?  Do you plan on being "out" to the community?  Are you wanting a live-in situation?  What kind of relationship are you wanting?  Are you wanting love?  Do you want strictly business and play?   What is your philosophy of BDSM?  What are your hard limits?  Are you open to your submissive having limits?  What traits and characteristics are you looking for in a slave?  What age range appeals to you?  What physical characteristics do you consider a "must-have"?   Will you consider a foreign submissive?  If you will, do you have plans to gaining legal authorization for them to live and work in the UK?

Honestly, the questions could go on and on.  If you insist on focusing your search on the "personal assistant" aspect, you should elaborate a bit more on the qualifications you desire and expected compensation.  Look at some local employment advertisements and see what is standard.

You've given far more information in your posts here than what is contained on your profile.  I would suggest that you consider incorporating it, as well.

Best wishes,

Treasure

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 1/21/2007 4:06:59 PM >

_____________________________

Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 7:23:27 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I am in a management position. My career personality is very dominant, therefore I don't think I could sumbit to anyone I work with. The roles would cross to much and it would be hard to diferentiate between the two worlds. For me anyway.

By being submissive to my partner it balances out my dominant nature when it comes to my career. That could be one of the problems you are having in your search. You want a dominat for half the day then you want her to switch to being your slave the rest of the time.

I'm sure it is possible for some to go from business equal to slave depending on the time of day for some, but I know I'd probably have a hard time with it.

Plus like others said, there doesn't seem to be much in it for the slave that gets the position. Will she get a salary that compensates her role as an equal in the business or is she expected to just work for nothing more then having the title of being your slave?

It would be something hard to consider I would think. Because anyone with the training and skills to be successful in business is probably able to make a handsome income by doing so. In todays age where couples split up on a moments notice, I know I'd certainly want my own income and not be 100% dependant on someone else. 

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to losttreasure)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 8:12:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		What makes you think being an assistant doesn't work well with being a dominant personality?  It works just as well as it does as when a submissive is with a dominant. 

I've worked as an assistant for pretty much my entire working career and I do indeed have a traditionally dominant personality.  It works well for me.

A slave doesn't have to switch their personality to be an excellent slave in a relationship- heck there are excellent slaves who own and run their own companies, bdsm conventions and groups, teach classes, perform surgeries and many other things which require dominance of some sort out there. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/21/2007 8:38:23 PM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Your question of,  "employment or slavery first?" sends mixed signals.  Are you looking for an "employee" or are you looking for a "slave"?  While some employees might feel like they are treated like a "slave" by their employer, they are protected under labor laws, whereas a slave is not. 

What's most important to you, at this time, finding a slave who will serve you or finding a potential business partner?  If you want a slave that you can train for whatever purpose(s), then look for a slave who is willing and able to be trained for what you desire.  If you are looking for a partner in your business, look for someone with the business skills that you require. 

As for your profile, it's obvious from your list of interests that you do have a sadistic nature, so I would make sure that you state you are looking for a masochist.  Also, it would help if you listed some information about whether you want a live-in slave and if so, what the living arangements would be.  The more information you can provide in your profile about what you are wanting from a slave and what the slave can expect, the better chance you will have of getting responses from interested slaves.  This is what I can suggest and I wish you luck in your search.  BTW, if you plan to post on these forums, be prepared to get all sorts of responses, including those that are very negative and highly critical.

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/22/2007 5:55:29 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loneleader

obviously i must be doing some things wrong,as i dont seem to even get through to other doms, so many things are obvious for me that i did not even mention them ,like wages, accommodation, etc.. provided to the slave, and a possible help if things dont work out, we are not horses, we are all humans, but that seemed so obvious to me that i did not mention it ... on the other hand, i am STUNNED by the negative attitude of most responses so far , except from the perverter female, that seems to understand a bit what business and business partnership is about, but for the other comments, why all the negative criticism about myself, etc... you dont know me, ..communication and expression seems to be my weak side, and I posted this ad to ask for advice as i recognized that something was wrong , ...telling me that my ad or my profile is wrong doesnt help, even though it may make you happy to be negative, but  i am looking for positive remarks, suggestions , as what to do, not being told that I am too bad, etc...  i am what i am , but i asked for advice on how to pass the message better ... and thought that doms here were ready to pass on the advice, not only point fingers..., who says that you are right anyway ?? nobody owns the truth, You have your side of it, i have my view on this side......if it is to tell me that i will not succeed,please do not waste your time nor mine writing it here, I am looking for Positive suggestions only, suggestions on what to do, that i will consider or not, negative opinions do not interest me, they only reflect on the dom that writes it and his/her limited knowledge of myself and understanding of my quest ...


Welcome to the forums.  I agree that sometimes negative responses to posts abound.  However, I see nothing wrong with your quest and encourage you to keep seeking. 

On the other hand, I think that you should be sure to lay down all the details in regards to your business arrangement, beforehand.  As a three-time business owner with a background in international business consulting and managemnt training, proceed with caution for the interest of ALL parties involved and draw up a legal/binding/enforceable contract that would stand up in a court of law.  Allow your partner to have the contract reviewed by an independent business lawyer before signing. 

Make sure that the contract includes financial investments, percentages of ownership, division of labor and a detailed exit strategy including how assets and liabilities are to be assumed.  I'd suggest forming an S Corporation so that your/her personal assests cannot be confiscated should the business go "belly-up."

Please be sure to do your homework with a solid foundation and knowledge of exactly what is required by law.  This should pretty much guarantee that both of you are getting a square deal, although some business savvy partners have been known to sneak through legal loopholes from time to time, so be sure your heart is in the right place.

I say establish a relationship first because if your business endeavors precede, you are gulity of sexual harrassment by law.  Also, be sure that you separated your business relationship  from your D/s relationship to maximize each and to delinate service from business ownership.  Crossing that line would confuse both the relationship and the business by co-mingling.

Best of luck to you in acheiving your goals,
LBO

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/22/2007 6:07:50 AM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		I've got to agree with Diurnal Vampire: "In most relationships, the time away from one another in jobs and alone time is as necessary for the relationship not to implode as the time together is.  Have you considered how quickly you and your slave would burn out on one another if you spend every waking moment together?"

It's extremely difficult to live and work with one person for a majority of one's time; I worked retail with my girlfriend (later my first wife) for two years, and the only thing that made the situation work for that length of time was the fact that we worked in a large store, in different departments, insulated from each other by our co-workers, and our primary interaction at work was with the public, not with each other. 

If yours is a small business, primarily mail or Internet-based, with little opportunities for regularly, frequent interaction with others (whether co-workers, clients, customers, vendors, etc.) it is going to be extremely stressful--for you and your assistant--to work and live together (pretty much alone) 24/7.

< Message edited by Floggings4You -- 1/22/2007 6:09:56 AM >

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/22/2007 7:56:01 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What makes you think being an assistant doesn't work well with being a dominant personality?  It works just as well as it does as when a submissive is with a dominant. 

I've worked as an assistant for pretty much my entire working career and I do indeed have a traditionally dominant personality.  It works well for me.

A slave doesn't have to switch their personality to be an excellent slave in a relationship- heck there are excellent slaves who own and run their own companies, bdsm conventions and groups, teach classes, perform surgeries and many other things which require dominance of some sort out there. 


I never said it couldn't be done. I said that I would find it hard to go from being an equal in a business setting to being a slave to the same person when at home.

I know many subs and slaves are extremely sucessful in business, either as an owner or in a management capacity. I happen to be one of them.

But as I stated "I" as in myself, could not switch from business equal to nighttime slave to the same person. I have no problem leaving my dominant side at the office and going home to submit to my Dominant. But as I stated in my OP, I would not submit to anyone I worked with.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/22/2007 3:02:38 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		I am sure you will find this an unnecessary poke at your profile but considering the position you are placing yourself in I think it is important. You start your profile by saying you are well educated but then go on to post a profile with appalling grammar. You then say “retribution for business assistance is to be agreed” Retribution has very negative connotations, is that what you really mean?  

You say nothing about the type of business you are in or what you see the role to be. A personal assistant can mean so many different things depending on the type of business and the size.

It might be obvious to you but you make no mention of your personal circumstances. Are you married, divorced or single?

You should also know that submissives looking at profiles on collarme also read postings made by those Doms whose profiles interest them. How you come across in those postings is just as important as what you say in your profile.

I am aware that you feel the replies to you so far have been negative but I am writing this as a submissive who actually runs a business with her Master and my comments are in reply to you asking what is wrong with your profile.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/22/2007 3:52:47 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I am aware that you feel the replies to you so far have been negative but I am writing this as a submissive who actually runs a business with her Master and my comments are in reply to you asking what is wrong with your profile.


I'd save your breath for now.  If he decides to get serious, once he has no positive replies to his profile, he might figure it out.


_____________________________

Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/23/2007 4:43:20 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

I've got to agree with Diurnal Vampire: "In most relationships, the time away from one another in jobs and alone time is as necessary for the relationship not to implode as the time together is.  Have you considered how quickly you and your slave would burn out on one another if you spend every waking moment together?"

It's extremely difficult to live and work with one person for a majority of one's time; I worked retail with my girlfriend (later my first wife) for two years, and the only thing that made the situation work for that length of time was the fact that we worked in a large store, in different departments, insulated from each other by our co-workers, and our primary interaction at work was with the public, not with each other. 

If yours is a small business, primarily mail or Internet-based, with little opportunities for regularly, frequent interaction with others (whether co-workers, clients, customers, vendors, etc.) it is going to be extremely stressful--for you and your assistant--to work and live together (pretty much alone) 24/7.


Depends on personality and relationship dynamics of both, but possible.  Thanks for your point of view.  I think that most couples would require the space you suggested, but there are some who can make the adjustment quite easily.  Personally, I am one of them and owned a computer training company for 9 years with my partner who I lived with (at the time) and 25 staff members.  (But, I didnt live with any of them. )

LBO

(in reply to Floggings4You)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/23/2007 6:11:42 AM   
justinasamerk


Posts: 153
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline 		From the responses that i am reading they are all  looking out for the welfare of the submissive, rather then looking out for the dominant in this case.
Sure i would agree  from the  way the  op  started   the thread it seems he is looking for someone 24/7 to serve him in all  aspects  of life...

My  ultimate dream is to go into business with my Dominant, many times we have talked about the type of business, the name, the services we will offer, and of course a sharing of the ownership.  If this undertaking ever happened from a business perspective sure it would be 50/50 in writing, but ultimately it is his  descision, he has the  managerial  orgainization skills, i have the people and financial  aspect..together partners...
For  now this is only but a dream, but on a practical note i see  where the lone leader could want  a service submisive who not  only serves  homely duities,but the one place where we are all slaves to..and that is our Job.

Lone Leader, my advice, don't quickly jump into  making a submissive your personal assistant, that  is trust that  you are giving over too quickly. Continue  your search, find that right individual that can satisfy you 24/7 in  work, home, sex, and play, this  is  something that would take  time.......For the time being keep work and play separate,  because even though its still a new business, poor descisions, relationship issues, and stress, can be the very reason that 90% of businesses fail within the first 2 years.....Good Luck

< Message edited by justinasamerk -- 1/23/2007 6:12:37 AM >

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/23/2007 6:24:14 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Cart before horse. You want a slave... but you are offering an employment contract. Why should any girl submit to you, who you are... not just shagging the boss. You say you recently got hit by a gold digger! I say that if THIS has been your approach then no wonder because frankly all you seem to be offering is what would appeal to a gold digger mentality and not much more.

Maybe you need to look at what you offer as a Master, as a person the girl would WANT to submit to rather than trying to 'buy' yourself a gold digger!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: employment or slavery first ? - 1/28/2007 7:58:41 AM   
lucreziaborgia


Posts: 28
Status: offline 		advice:

Elbaorate on what you enjoy who you are and what do you have to offer? Dig deep, quiet man.

Earn a slave first. Find one with brains and the ability to be an assistant and more.

say you offer the opportunity of learning a new business training and valuable life experience plus more one day

DO pay her and/or fully house, feed, clothe take care of her as she takes care of you. 

Mention the movie Secretary up front. What is so bad about that? Uptight man gives lost nerd nymph a job, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after in bliss.
( banging her hard while she is chained to a tree - exxxtasy!)

What is so awful about that? Am I missing something?


 

_____________________________

your friend

(in reply to loneleader)
Profile   Post #: 37
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