RE: A Matter Of Degree (Full Version)

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SlyStone -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 5:44:06 PM)

"good boy"



KnightofMists -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 5:45:43 PM)

mmmmmmm I guess not..

even saying "good girl" would of showed at least some creativity or stop you being so predictable... hell everyone on the board could predicted your response.... but... oh well... we work with what we got... sad for you.



SlyStone -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 5:46:48 PM)

Hey look


I'm Kinky



Arpig -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 6:30:58 PM)

quote:

You have your opinion and she has hers. Who is to say who is right or wrong, you?

please see the 3rd entry in my sig.....



NControlofU -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 9:49:26 PM)

I tend to agree that asking an open forum, such as this, "How do I know if I am dominant/submissive?" is a lot like asking, "How do I know if I am vegetarian?" or, "How do I know if I am heterosexual or homosexual?"  These are questions that really need to be answered by the individual, especially since pretty much everyone on here has there own opinion/definition of what it means to be a dominant or a submissive and by the time you sift through all the differing ideas on it you are likely to be more confused, not less.  That is why I usually stay away from postings with those types of questions, along with the "What's the difference between a slave and a submissive?" ones.  I did enjoy reading your post, even if it was pretty pointless.  It was entertaining, but it won't have any impact on what questions people will post here.  They will post what they will post and it is up to each person to choose to read it or not and/or respond to it or not.



BitaTruble -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 10:03:17 PM)

~FR~

It would be nice if people came in and posed questions along the lines of "I've got all these strange feelings.. I don't know what they mean or why I have them. I'm confused, but reading/seeing/hearing about BDSM has intrigued me/turned me on and made me go WOW, cool! I'm not sure where to start, where to go or even which direction to go in. It's all a bit overwhelming and I feel like I just want to gobble the whole cake down at once. Help!"

But, that rarely happens so most of us take each person as the individual they are and try to help as best we can. Sometimes we help someone get hyped on getting educated, most often we never see the poster again but for those of us into heavy masochism and who like beating our heads against the bricks, we keep trying. You can try to help as well or you can choose to ignore those who come here trying to gain some understanding because they don't word their questions appropriately or in the manner in which you would word them. They're not you, though.. so try to cut the noobs a bit of slack. After all, they're new! You were new once as well.. remember?

Celeste



Aine -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/21/2007 10:10:24 PM)

Just to save myself a headache, I'm stepping away from the drama from the other thread.     It's been a long day and I'm not quite so sassy.

From a Switch's perspective...

I started out exploring and researching both.  I had friends online, slaves, Dominants, submissives, and the rare switch that pointed me in the direction of information online, sat and talked with me for hours on end about anything we could think of and yes, I watched and eventually participated in the famous Yahoo User Rooms.  *ducks the flying poo*

That was my introduction into the world of BDSM...the day I was bouncing from room to room causin' a ruckus.  (Meh, I was young and bored and an insomniac) and popped myself into one of the Roleplay rooms and ended up making some friends rather surprisingly considering the room.

I sat back and watched and talked and just kinda took it all in and since then it's been always in my thoughts.  I started out dipping my toes into both sides to see if maybe I was one or the other and finally figured out that I must be a switch considering the ease with which I took to both.  I found out a lot about myself and it actually helped me sort out a lot of shite in my head.  As well as helped me move forward in my life and work on turning myself into the person that I'd been trying to be for years.  (Hell I'm still working on it...it's a never-ending quest imho)

While one thing might work for some people, it won't work for everyone.

I tried out both sides of the fence, some people try the Dominant side, some try the submissive or slave side.  It really depends on the person and what resources they have and the things that are going to influence them to try something.  I was surrounded by everything, and was intrigued by all of it.



LeatherBentOne -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 4:43:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Great post.

 
Not sure how you consider this to be a great post, personally I find it arrogant and overbearing....it may come as a surprise to you, but there are those out there, particularly the younger members, who are very confused by all this. And there is also such a thing as a switch, somebody who feels both dominant and submissive feelings....so there is no bad question...there are just bad answers to perfectly reasonable questions.
 
 


Ahhhhh, great answer !!!!! 

Sometimes it's so easy to forget where we came from and the process we went through to make sense of who we are.  For some, the road came more easily; to others after much contemplation.  Answering would-be quesions can be seen as one way to give back what we have reaped.  Extending a helping hand reinforces that for me.

LBO



Celeste43 -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 4:58:37 AM)

I don't think that someone asking what their feelings would say about which label to use is a bad question. I think your nastiness in response would be a bad answer though.

I'm not a younger person here as someone so delicately put it. But I can assure you that I hadn't heard the word submissive as it is used in D/s until 3 1/2 years ago. And I was confused. I hadn't had a lover put his hand around my throat so that wouldn't have helped. Amazingly enough what did help was stumbling upon another bondage site and reading everything I could and asking questions born of true ignorance. What I got in return thankfully was not snide comments but honest answers and friendships from other sub women who were happy to offer up their experience to help me make sense of it all.



becca333 -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 6:10:36 AM)

It's so reassuring to know that no matter how long you stay away from this site, when you come back it's all just the same!   Great to see such fine old traditions being kept alive.

Now, we had the original spur of the moment frustrated post, the agreement, the attacks, the attacks on the attacks, the digression to discuss attacking in general, the attempt to return to the original topic... it's time for the hijacking to a totally different topic, isn't it?

Ohhhh yes, that would be this post.  Sorry.



Kondolinni -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 8:14:55 AM)

It is a badly asked question. And the issue of self-awareness is really fundamental to this.

In any conversation with a "novice", or "new" submissive, no matter whether it is for purposes of dating or simply encountering a new soul, I push the issue of the person's self-awareness. A conversation with me is, for a new submissive, to conduct an introspection in order to at least begin the process of definition. I refuse to talk to anyone about my D/s, D/s in general, or BDSM until they can at least outline their predilictions/preferences to me.

However, even knowing myself to an ever growing degree, I can also attest to the fact that I am far more dominant, and far more the dominant I wish to be now then I was 5 years ago. My personal process of definition comntinues.

So, in general, I agree with the poster that the question is poorly stated and irresponsible. Anyone on the verge of asking it should have already begun to look at themselves with an honest and analytical eye in order to find the answer.

Before you can show someone a path, you have to know to which destination they are wishing you to send them.



Devilslilsister -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 10:33:15 AM)

i feel like i stepped out into la la land where something was going on between KOM and that guy sly....... god knows what the heck it was about... but i've never seen KOM make posts like that.  i'm not even excatly what sort of posts he was making.... it almost looks like he was....  God knows! La la land fo shore!

La la land disappeared and the topic of the post went on... you are all so fricken wierd.  God love ya.

Bad questions.. matters of degree.... submissive or not.. finding yourself.. and some woman having a baby pulled out her stomach via my TV. 

lets see...  i dont truely know if i am really submissive or not.  i know that i am kelly with all my oddities and quirks.  Do some of those add up to submissive?  Maybe.  Do some of them not add up to submissive?  Probably.  Do i care anymore?  Not since i brought the concern to my Master and he looked at me and said "you're an owned slave" (and thats all that matters) 

As far as i know......... it never hurts to ask

and the hospitalized atmosphere of C sections suck. 





MzMia -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 2:54:37 PM)

I am fairly new here and I have come to the point that I only
answer very few threads these days.  It is a free and open forum
and people have the right to ask questions, as we have the right
not to read them or answer them.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 5:51:24 PM)

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?  [:(]



adaddysgirl -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 6:00:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?  [:(]


Would you really care?  lol  [;)]
 
DG



CreativeDominant -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 6:15:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? [:(]


A very fine-looking and intelligent submissive................errr slave.........................errr submissive......................errrrrrrrrrrrr [8|]



MaryT -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 6:18:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?  [:(]


A savage sub with slavish tendencies?  A subbie slave with savage tendencies?  [:D]

MaryT



SlyStone -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 6:53:25 PM)

quote:

ould you all say I am a sub or a slave?


Please wait patiently for your answer to what you are, my money is on service slave,  they are very "in" this week,  but the jury is still out and only time and a flock of sheep will tell.




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 7:45:14 PM)

This brings to mind of the quote: To thine own self be true....nice words, but sometimes when you are coming into something new, wether that be BDSM or adulthood or whatever the case may be, you are still in essence trying to figure out thine own self, or your own way of it all.So hence badly thought out questions or inaccurate phraseology, pffftttt who cares!..Questions are an intelligient persons way of finding whatever answers may come to them and how they wish to apply them in life. To ask no questions and await the possibility of answers is simply inefficient,lazy,and stupid and will only create a greater degree of ignorance..Tempting



RedSavageSlave -> RE: A Matter Of Degree (1/22/2007 7:57:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?  [:(]


Would you really care?  lol  [;)]
 
DG


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? [:(]


A very fine-looking and intelligent submissive................errr slave.........................errr submissive......................errrrrrrrrrrrr [8|]


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?  [:(]


A savage sub with slavish tendencies?  A subbie slave with savage tendencies?  [:D]

MaryT




ALL OF THE ABOVE!    [8D]

see?? sometimes there are good answers to stupid questions <wink>



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