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RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 5:44:06 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		"good boy"

_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 5:45:43 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		mmmmmmm I guess not..

even saying "good girl" would of showed at least some creativity or stop you being so predictable... hell everyone on the board could predicted your response.... but... oh well... we work with what we got... sad for you.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 1/21/2007 5:47:22 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 5:46:48 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Hey look


I'm Kinky


_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 6:30:58 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

You have your opinion and she has hers. Who is to say who is right or wrong, you?

please see the 3rd entry in my sig.....

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 9:49:26 PM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to agree that asking an open forum, such as this, "How do I know if I am dominant/submissive?" is a lot like asking, "How do I know if I am vegetarian?" or, "How do I know if I am heterosexual or homosexual?"  These are questions that really need to be answered by the individual, especially since pretty much everyone on here has there own opinion/definition of what it means to be a dominant or a submissive and by the time you sift through all the differing ideas on it you are likely to be more confused, not less.  That is why I usually stay away from postings with those types of questions, along with the "What's the difference between a slave and a submissive?" ones.  I did enjoy reading your post, even if it was pretty pointless.  It was entertaining, but it won't have any impact on what questions people will post here.  They will post what they will post and it is up to each person to choose to read it or not and/or respond to it or not.

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 10:03:17 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		~FR~

It would be nice if people came in and posed questions along the lines of "I've got all these strange feelings.. I don't know what they mean or why I have them. I'm confused, but reading/seeing/hearing about BDSM has intrigued me/turned me on and made me go WOW, cool! I'm not sure where to start, where to go or even which direction to go in. It's all a bit overwhelming and I feel like I just want to gobble the whole cake down at once. Help!"

But, that rarely happens so most of us take each person as the individual they are and try to help as best we can. Sometimes we help someone get hyped on getting educated, most often we never see the poster again but for those of us into heavy masochism and who like beating our heads against the bricks, we keep trying. You can try to help as well or you can choose to ignore those who come here trying to gain some understanding because they don't word their questions appropriately or in the manner in which you would word them. They're not you, though.. so try to cut the noobs a bit of slack. After all, they're new! You were new once as well.. remember?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to NControlofU)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/21/2007 10:10:24 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Just to save myself a headache, I'm stepping away from the drama from the other thread.     It's been a long day and I'm not quite so sassy.

From a Switch's perspective...

I started out exploring and researching both.  I had friends online, slaves, Dominants, submissives, and the rare switch that pointed me in the direction of information online, sat and talked with me for hours on end about anything we could think of and yes, I watched and eventually participated in the famous Yahoo User Rooms.  *ducks the flying poo*

That was my introduction into the world of BDSM...the day I was bouncing from room to room causin' a ruckus.  (Meh, I was young and bored and an insomniac) and popped myself into one of the Roleplay rooms and ended up making some friends rather surprisingly considering the room.

I sat back and watched and talked and just kinda took it all in and since then it's been always in my thoughts.  I started out dipping my toes into both sides to see if maybe I was one or the other and finally figured out that I must be a switch considering the ease with which I took to both.  I found out a lot about myself and it actually helped me sort out a lot of shite in my head.  As well as helped me move forward in my life and work on turning myself into the person that I'd been trying to be for years.  (Hell I'm still working on it...it's a never-ending quest imho)

While one thing might work for some people, it won't work for everyone.

I tried out both sides of the fence, some people try the Dominant side, some try the submissive or slave side.  It really depends on the person and what resources they have and the things that are going to influence them to try something.  I was surrounded by everything, and was intrigued by all of it.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 4:43:09 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Great post.

 
Not sure how you consider this to be a great post, personally I find it arrogant and overbearing....it may come as a surprise to you, but there are those out there, particularly the younger members, who are very confused by all this. And there is also such a thing as a switch, somebody who feels both dominant and submissive feelings....so there is no bad question...there are just bad answers to perfectly reasonable questions.
 
 


Ahhhhh, great answer !!!!! 

Sometimes it's so easy to forget where we came from and the process we went through to make sense of who we are.  For some, the road came more easily; to others after much contemplation.  Answering would-be quesions can be seen as one way to give back what we have reaped.  Extending a helping hand reinforces that for me.

LBO

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 4:58:37 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I don't think that someone asking what their feelings would say about which label to use is a bad question. I think your nastiness in response would be a bad answer though.

I'm not a younger person here as someone so delicately put it. But I can assure you that I hadn't heard the word submissive as it is used in D/s until 3 1/2 years ago. And I was confused. I hadn't had a lover put his hand around my throat so that wouldn't have helped. Amazingly enough what did help was stumbling upon another bondage site and reading everything I could and asking questions born of true ignorance. What I got in return thankfully was not snide comments but honest answers and friendships from other sub women who were happy to offer up their experience to help me make sense of it all.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 6:10:36 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		It's so reassuring to know that no matter how long you stay away from this site, when you come back it's all just the same!   Great to see such fine old traditions being kept alive.

Now, we had the original spur of the moment frustrated post, the agreement, the attacks, the attacks on the attacks, the digression to discuss attacking in general, the attempt to return to the original topic... it's time for the hijacking to a totally different topic, isn't it?

Ohhhh yes, that would be this post.  Sorry.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 8:14:55 AM   
Kondolinni


Posts: 67
Joined: 4/2/2004
Status: offline 		It is a badly asked question. And the issue of self-awareness is really fundamental to this.

In any conversation with a "novice", or "new" submissive, no matter whether it is for purposes of dating or simply encountering a new soul, I push the issue of the person's self-awareness. A conversation with me is, for a new submissive, to conduct an introspection in order to at least begin the process of definition. I refuse to talk to anyone about my D/s, D/s in general, or BDSM until they can at least outline their predilictions/preferences to me.

However, even knowing myself to an ever growing degree, I can also attest to the fact that I am far more dominant, and far more the dominant I wish to be now then I was 5 years ago. My personal process of definition comntinues.

So, in general, I agree with the poster that the question is poorly stated and irresponsible. Anyone on the verge of asking it should have already begun to look at themselves with an honest and analytical eye in order to find the answer.

Before you can show someone a path, you have to know to which destination they are wishing you to send them.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 10:33:15 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i feel like i stepped out into la la land where something was going on between KOM and that guy sly....... god knows what the heck it was about... but i've never seen KOM make posts like that.  i'm not even excatly what sort of posts he was making.... it almost looks like he was....  God knows! La la land fo shore!

La la land disappeared and the topic of the post went on... you are all so fricken wierd.  God love ya.

Bad questions.. matters of degree.... submissive or not.. finding yourself.. and some woman having a baby pulled out her stomach via my TV. 

lets see...  i dont truely know if i am really submissive or not.  i know that i am kelly with all my oddities and quirks.  Do some of those add up to submissive?  Maybe.  Do some of them not add up to submissive?  Probably.  Do i care anymore?  Not since i brought the concern to my Master and he looked at me and said "you're an owned slave" (and thats all that matters) 

As far as i know......... it never hurts to ask

and the hospitalized atmosphere of C sections suck. 




_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 2:54:37 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I am fairly new here and I have come to the point that I only
answer very few threads these days.  It is a free and open forum
and people have the right to ask questions, as we have the right
not to read them or answer them.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 5:51:24 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? 

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 6:00:41 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? 


Would you really care?  lol 
 
DG

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 6:15:09 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?


A very fine-looking and intelligent submissive................errr slave.........................errr submissive......................errrrrrrrrrrrr

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 6:18:24 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? 


A savage sub with slavish tendencies?  A subbie slave with savage tendencies? 

MaryT

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 6:53:25 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

ould you all say I am a sub or a slave?


Please wait patiently for your answer to what you are, my money is on service slave,  they are very "in" this week,  but the jury is still out and only time and a flock of sheep will tell.



_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 7:45:14 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		This brings to mind of the quote: To thine own self be true....nice words, but sometimes when you are coming into something new, wether that be BDSM or adulthood or whatever the case may be, you are still in essence trying to figure out thine own self, or your own way of it all.So hence badly thought out questions or inaccurate phraseology, pffftttt who cares!..Questions are an intelligient persons way of finding whatever answers may come to them and how they wish to apply them in life. To ask no questions and await the possibility of answers is simply inefficient,lazy,and stupid and will only create a greater degree of ignorance..Tempting

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A Matter Of Degree - 1/22/2007 7:57:59 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? 


Would you really care?  lol 
 
DG


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave?


A very fine-looking and intelligent submissive................errr slave.........................errr submissive......................errrrrrrrrrrrr


quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

Would you all say I am a sub or a slave? 


A savage sub with slavish tendencies?  A subbie slave with savage tendencies? 

MaryT




ALL OF THE ABOVE!   

see?? sometimes there are good answers to stupid questions <wink>

< Message edited by RedSavageSlave -- 1/22/2007 7:59:00 PM >

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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