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curiouspet55 -> RE: BDSM in literature: Abelard and Heloise (1/22/2007 12:16:40 PM)
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After a few requests, I'll post my paper on here. Don't judge it too harshly, I beg of you :). But opinions and such are welcome.
Deference and Devotion
“To her lord, or rather father; to her husband, or rather brother; from his handmaid, or rather daughter; from his wife, or rather sister; to Abelard, from Heloise,” Heloise writes on page 46 of The Letters of Abelard and Heloise. With these words, Heloise states her view of her relationship with Abelard. To her, Abelard represents all figures of authority. He is her authority – the one to be obeyed, to be pleased, to devote one’s self to. To him, she is his handmaid, his subservient wife. It is her duty to provide him with pleasure, with love, with faith, with devotion, and with unfailing trust and loyalty. It is her duty to be loyal to her husband and savior, Abelard, above all others, including Christ. Heloise viewed her relationship with Abelard as one of deference and devotion, a lifestyle which she thought would not only further Abelard’s reputation as philosopher and theologian but also better display and prove her love for him.
In her response to Abelard’s Historia Calamitatum, Heloise tries to place herself in a position of unfailing love and devotion. Abelard mentions that his problems will make your seem insignificant, and Heloise quickly agrees that the struggles and misfortunes befalling her beloved are far more severe than her own and that of her companions. Heloise responds with grief in Abelard’s despair, seemingly hoping to comfort him and provide him with a place of trust and faith. From the beginning of their correspondence, Heloise is showing a devotion to Abelard that overtakes all other loyalties she may have once had (such as loyalties to her uncle or to Christ).
Heloise first illustrates her submission to Abelard on page 50, writing “The name of wife may seem more sacred or more binding, but sweeter for me will always be the word friend, or, if you will permit me, that of concubine or whore. I believed that the more I humbled myself on your account, the more gratitude I should win from you, and also the less damage I should do to the brightness of your reputation.” In these words, Heloise admits that with her submission and loyalty she is trying to spare Abelard the pain of a damaged reputation, but also she is admitting that she strives to receive praise and recognition of loyalty from him in response to her submission (or as some would phrase it, her sacrifice). Heloise goes so far as to devote her life to Abelard’s pleasure, saying on page 54 “I have finally denied myself every pleasure in obedience to your will, kept nothing for myself except to prove that now, even more, I am yours.” Heloise yearns for Abelard’s praise, his love – and she readily admits she would sacrifice anything to receive them.
Abelard responds in a manner quite apart from what the common reader would expect – after such a letter of devotion, one would think that praise or comfort would be sent back, but in this case no such thing happens. Abelard responds to Heloise with recommendations on prayer, and a brief word on how in the bible, Ecclesiastics specifically, it is written that “a good wife makes a happy husband.” This brief comment could be taken as praise, in the sense that Abelard is hinting that he believes Heloise is being a good wife in her devotion to him, and therefore he is happy in being her husband. This bit of concealed praise more than likely is why Heloise continues in her devotion to Abelard.
In her next letter, Heloise first refers to herself as inferior to Abelard. This is the first time Heloise openly confesses her belief that she is inferior to her husband and therefore should be submissive to him. On page 63, Heloise states “I am surprised….you have thought fit to put my name before yours…Surely the right and proper order is for those who write to their superiors of equals to put their names before their own, but in letters to inferiors, precedence in order of address follows precedence in rank.”
Heloise is convinced that her devotion and submission to Abelard is the best choice for the both of them, but in reality this isn’t quite true. While she asks Abelard not to praise her, he is right in saying “be careful, I beg you, not to seek praise when you appear to shun it, and not to reject with your lips what you desire in your heart.” This is in fact what Heloise is doing, obvious in how she changes from seeking praise to rejecting it after one reproachful letter from Abelard. In seeking no praise she is really trying, yet again, to please him.
Heloise views Abelard as her Lord and Master above all others, and tries in vain to please him. On page 71, Heloise says “I confess my weakness, I do not wish to fight in hope of victory, lest the day comes when I lose the battle. What need is there to forsake what is certain and pursue uncertainty?” In these words, one senses that perhaps Heloise isn’t trying to please Abelard out of love, but is submissive to him instead of Christ because it is safer to follow Abelard. With Abelard, she is safe because she has never truly had his love so she cannot win it, and if she wins his approval it is a bonus. There is no uncertainty because she has nothing to lose. With Christ, she once had his love and has now lost it. Rather than attempting to win back the love of God and risking failure and damnation, she believes that by following Abelard she can avoid the risk.
Abelard, on the other hand, recognizes that only in devotion to God can one be safe from damnation. In the fifth personal letter, from Abelard to Heloise, Abelard tries to convince Heloise that God was just in putting them in their current situation. They were wrong to live in sin and think to fix it, and they were wrong to attempt to hide their ‘fixing’ in an area of Christ – they used God as a deception, hiding something that was not a mistake. In this sense, Abelard believes it was just for God to commit them both to lives of servitude to the Lord. Abelard has realized his calling and devotes his time to the Lord, while Heloise has convinced herself to follows Abelard as her Lord. Heloise doesn’t realize that by trusting completely in Abelard, she is in fact guaranteeing herself a life without him, for if he is devoted to Christ he shall avoid damnation, while since she is devoted to Abelard she is bound for the fires of hell.
Abelard knows that Heloise must believe and trust in God, and tries his hardest to appeal to her senses. He goes so far as to state on page 79 that “If you are anxious to please me in everything, as you claim…you must rid yourself of it. If it persists you can neither please me nor attain bliss with me.” Heloise sees her relationship with Abelard as one of faith, of devotion and submission. She believes that by trusting in Abelard, she can help him in his scholarly pursuits, avoid damaging his reputation, and show her love for him. What Heloise fails to realize is that the only way she can truly please Abelard is by trusting in God, because he has realized that their love for one another should never overtake their love for God.
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