this may sound silly but I am confused (Full Version)

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thaimeeuppppp -> this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 7:50:51 PM)

to those of you with experience this seems stupid I am sure and I apologize.I am new to the lifestyle angle of BDSM and I have a question. When someone says they are looking for a 24/7 it seems to me they want someone in their house to attend to all their needs. Or if they say they will add you to their house it means live with them doesn't it? Or is this a code for simply being available. I just read a post from a female Domme who said she wanted a 24/7 but they needed to be discreet around her husband and children,So i got confused. I wasnt interested in finding a female Domme, I was just reading through these posts to obtain an understanding of this lifestyle.
Thank you



unendingquestion -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 7:57:23 PM)

i dont know, but it doesnt sound to me like a 24/7 would be possible in that situation.. unless of course, her hubby knows about her interests...  and your definitions sound ok to me



ElectraGlide -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:07:17 PM)

It dont sound silly it sounds stupid. Dont get into it. How long do you think discreet will last living 24/7 under the same roof. I bet less than a month. If BDSM is about honor and communication, I do not see any in that situation. They might intend you to be a house slave only with no sex involved. With one half in the dark such as her hubby and the other half being a sneaky snake.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:13:49 PM)

Most people equate 24/7 with live-ins.

As usual, you have to ask each person what THEY mean by THEIR terms- there are no universals.



thaimeeuppppp -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:32:02 PM)

thanks so much for the feedback. I wasn't considering that situation, it just made me think perhaps i had the wrong idea.Lucky Albotross, that is wise, everyone does have their own definitions. I thought in BDSM it might be more regimented.
Thank you, Jasper
If i may pose another question, how many slaves does a master usually want or is that extremely variable?



NControlofU -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:44:24 PM)

To some, 24/7 simply means that they are subject to whatever their Master/Mistess requires of them at any time, day or night, no matter where they are.  Many are long distance and/or online and rarely, if ever, have physical contact.  If it doesn't say "live-in", then you can't assume that it is.



MsOpal -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:51:49 PM)

HI,
Remember, the only silly question is the one unasked.

"Most" say 24/7 and mean living together full time.  Yes, you 'can' live apart and still think of it that way, but in general, most of the time, yadda yadda ... living together full time.

The situation you said you read someone is looking for seems stupid, dangerous, and totally NOT what Ds is about.  Discretion around young ones is always important, just like you don;t want to be sexual in front of young ones, but it sounded more like dishonesty than discretion.

As with all things D/s , bdsm ... each person or couple will ahve their definition which may differ in minor details or major deviations.
Good luck and have fun in your explorations!

Remember... it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt - then the real fun begins!
MsOpal



DiurnalVampire -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 8:52:13 PM)

The number of slaves soeone wants, much like everything else in the lfiestyle, depends on the person.  I want one. I have that one.
Some prefer large collections of happy servants, others are content with 2 or 3, others one. 
AS for 24/7, its also a definition each pair makes.  For Angel and I our 24/7 arrangement means he is available when he can be, around work and school, but he is most defiantely mine all the time. I would live him to be constantly available, but it isnt possible.

DV



MasterFireMaam -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 10:18:07 PM)

It can mean different things for different people, varying from "you wear my collar all the time" to "you live with me". If you'd really like to know her particular views, ask her.

Master Fire



bearincuffs -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/21/2007 10:47:57 PM)

I hope this may help you in some way. In my case being newly acquired,  my Master has explained that eventually I will be part of His House on a 24/7 basis. Master also stated that some do work outside the House and are expected to contribute to the House in one way or another according to one's abilities.  W/we will be living under the same roof  24/7, and I will be serving Master's needs yet working outside the House. Once I am part of the House, I will permanently collared  as his.



Lashra -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 2:53:00 AM)

It depends upon the Mistress/Master how many slaves/subs they will own. I own one male sub and for now I am happy with that. Although perhaps down the line, I may add a female sub.

~Lashra



MrNevvyn -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 4:22:13 AM)

Personally I think it is all quite clear 24/7 is a situation where constant and unconstrained access to each other is possible. This need not necessarily be co-domiciled but there should be no implication of you cant contact me between the hours of x and y because of my husband/kids



Nimkii -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 5:28:20 AM)

As for number of slaves. I would setlle for one decent one that delivered on everything they said they could.



onestandingstill -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 6:28:52 AM)

I think some people consider a relationship 24/7 even if you don't live with them.
I think to them it means they are D/s oriented in their relationship with you in all their communications vs only when they scene with you.
While my perspective of 24/7 is indeed when you live in one domicile together and conduct your day to day face to face habits in the D/s dynamic. I am aware each of us are entitled to our own perspective in this.
Thus to her her notion of 24/7 is not wrong, just not the point of view I share in.
suzanne



juliaoceania -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 6:37:48 AM)

quote:

I just read a post from a female Domme who said she wanted a 24/7 but they needed to be discreet around her husband and children,So i got confused. I wasnt interested in finding a female Domme, I was just reading through these posts to obtain an understanding of this lifestyle.
Thank you

 
 
I think that you would have to ask this particular person. Perhaps her future submissive would live with her. Perhaps being discrete around children and husband means not behaving in a submissive manner at inappropriate times. In what you stated she said discretion around these people, not that you would have no contact with them.

Many 24/7 relationships have unmentionables around, other friends and family, employers too, we do not have to express Ds to be it all the time. I call my Dominant "Daddy" in front of my family, but I do not call him that in front of his coworkers. It would be inappropriate, my family thinks nothing of it but a our nicknames for each other... Just my thoughts.



lateralist1 -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 7:51:47 AM)

As has been stated 24/7 doesn't have to be living together.
I have a vanilla life.
So does everyone who wants or has a D/s BDSM relationship.
Well ok there might be just a few exceptions to that rule.
When I found out about BDSM I knew that was just what I needed to be completely content in life.
However I already have vanilla responsibilities.
That does not mean that I can not have one or more slaves.
Slaves in that they are emotionally connected to me 24/7.
That they follow my instructions at all times.
They have access to me 24/7.
We can spend time together in many different ways.
Communication is a lot easier and cheaper now than it has ever been.
So is travel.
Is belonging to or owning any less sincere if it is done at a distance most of the time? It doesn't have to be.
Can control be just as effective? I think it can.
It just means that the trust and the communication has to be much more effective.
Even some kinds of service can be done at a distance.
Personal services can be saved as treats for the times when it is possible to be together,
Discipline can be delivered at a distance or again saved until the time when it is possible to be together.
Being extremely positve about difficulties always helps of course.
But I truly believe that where there is a will there is a way.
Solving complex real life dilemas is one of my strengths.
Communication used to be one of my weaknesses but I'm getting much better at it.
Get the basic relationship working first.
Then it's fairly simple to move it into a D/s one if you already know who is the dominant partner.
It's so much easier than a vanilla relationship where you have to battle it out and agree which area each is to have responsibility for.
As a dominant woman I give the instructions and I take the full responsibility for them.
If a sub doesn't know then he/she asks.
However Rome was not built in a day.
It takes time to get to know someone well enough to instruct them for the good of both people in a relationship.
Natural reserve in talking about intimate areas of ones life needs to be overcome.
Lets face it some people do not find it easy to be open about very personal matters.
As a society we still think that lots of sexual things should not be talked about.
So if their parents don't talk about it children grow up with little or the wrong information about sex.
However a lot of parents actually know very little about it.
As usual it has been left to the programme makers to educate the masses.
And they still don't go far enough and the programmes are on after the watershed.
Sex education in schools is often a joke.
Not in front of the children is not necessarily the right way forward.
They have a right to knowledge.
If their parents don't give it to them they will find out but they also might come across things far too early.
Or worse still far to late.















TopinPa -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 8:06:25 AM)

To me; a 24/7 relationship would preferably live with me but not totally necessary, not at first anyway.
I think the most important thing is honoring my wishes 24/7 as in not playing anywhere with any one other than me or without my consent.
Or basically do as I say, 24/7!



goodpet -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 10:05:54 AM)

24/7 to many in the lifestle is the live in, together situation with full time, all the time D/s or M/s relationship.

Does not mean you are chained to the basement 24/7.. (OK great fantasy and great for a scene or even a pretty neat weekend) but.. it means you live together and the relationship roles you have are full time. Even if our behavior is somewhat vanilla in appearance to others (at work, at the store) the mind-set and relationship is always there.

on the other side of the coin is the part time, submissive all the time, but when not together they call their own shots, they are only in the sub role fully when they are together or in a scene.  And for some it is only the times they are in a scene or for an event or party, the rest of time is more as a girlfriend or friend. Both are valid, full relationships that many have and it fulfills their needs. it is not better or worst, just different.

Ask the person what they mean.

It is OK to have different ideas and definitions. But it is important that each know what they mean and can communicate that definition so we are all on the same page when talking.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 6:20:17 PM)

[:D]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nimkii

As for number of slaves. I would setlle for one decent one that delivered on everything they said they could.


<shakes head> there is always one dom who just cant get his head out of the fantasy <wink> 



Totalmaster4you -> RE: this may sound silly but I am confused (1/22/2007 7:01:54 PM)

Well as you can see by the answers posted there are as many different opinions as there are noses. I would suggest that you use things like 24/7 as general answer and when it impacts you or a Dominant you are interested in ask the Dom specificly how they interpret these things. For me 24/7 is a live in situation. However you must realize that the vanilla world does intrude, say work, so when in those vanilla situations the D/s is mental. The second question regarding the number of slaves is as individual as each Dominant. Never stop asking questions



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