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RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 2:36:13 PM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		It's not that I'm concerned about other's relationships it more that people don't respect mine. I have seen that the less the symbol of the collar is respected the less saying, "I am owned" is respected.
 
It's kind of like if you're wearing a wedding ring (Yes I remember what I said before about compering the collar to a wedding ring) and saying, "I'm married" and still guys asking you out on dates and trying to get in your pants.
 
I have the fact that I collared/owned/taken all over most of my online profile... and yet people don't respect that and I'm getting really tired of seeing those messages or just seeing the profound dissrespect for me and my relationship.
 
I have had "domanant" men read my profile then message me saying, "so when it doesn't work out with your master wanna get together and fuck" or something simmilar to that.
 
I have been with my Master for over a year and we have a wonderful relationship, I can't think of any time that we have argured or really gotten angery at each other. We have a very open line of comunication and we both make each other very happy.
 
I know that my poste seemed really superfical, stuck on the object it's self, but that's not what I was trying to get at.
 
It's just seeing stuff like the "online collar" or the "master" who collars every woman he fucks and can't remember any of their names, makes people just laugh and ignor the revrence I have for the symbol for of my collar and the meaning I place on it. It took alot of hard work for me to earn that symbol and all the trust that goes with it.
 
It really buggs me when some fuck with a hard-on thinks that I should throw all that work away for a quick, probably really shitty "spank n' fuck".
 
I hope that makes my thoughts a little more clear.
 
Shylah





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(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 2:57:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
It's not that I'm concerned about other's relationships it more that people don't respect mine. I have seen that the less the symbol of the collar is respected the less saying, "I am owned" is respected.

Ahh well that's your problem. You're expecting people to share your values.  They have as much right to bitch that YOU don't share and respect THEIR values.

Maybe you haven't figured that out- but collared does certainly NOT mean that you are unavailable to others in the general scene. 

Yes, there will always be dorks and assholes who try and poach.  Who cares?  And what does that have to do with a young newbie who wants a collar?

quote:


I have the fact that I collared/owned/taken all over most of my online profile... and yet people don't respect that and I'm getting really tired of seeing those messages or just seeing the profound dissrespect for me and my relationship.

You can either accept that this is life online, or keep getting ruffled and annoyed by it.  Or block all emails.
quote:


I have had "domanant" men read my profile then message me saying, "so when it doesn't work out with your master wanna get together and fuck" or something simmilar to that.

Everyone gets those emails.  

quote:


It really buggs me when some fuck with a hard-on thinks that I should throw all that work away for a quick, probably really shitty "spank n' fuck".

I hope that makes my thoughts a little more clear.

Shylah

I think your problem is that you're letting what everyone else thinks/feel upset YOU. 

After all, from what you said in your first post, you consider the collar I wear to be silly and pointless.  Should I now get upset with you?

Why should you get upset because strangers don't share your values? 

Would it be great if everyone were polite and asked nicely if you were available for X and then politely say thank you and accepted whatever answer you gave?  Sure.

But riling yourself up against things completely out of your control does nothing but waste your energy.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 2:59:24 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I have mails asking if I'm *still collared*. 

*Yawn and yawn .....Yes, I know it's dull, but I am.....Goddamn him for being so irrestistable* .....or whatever it is, after years

I don't give a damn whether people respect my relationship unless they impinge on it in a real sense, and even then, I find it very tricky to whip up enough enthusiasm to be annoyed. 

I have what I have.......it doesn't impact on anyone else. Who cares?

agirl

LA said *Who cares* first.....but I meant it more.....grin




< Message edited by agirl -- 1/22/2007 3:01:14 PM >

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 3:04:14 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		But really.........Who cares?....lol

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 3:32:03 PM   
MasterBKM


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline 		I Myself had a bad experience of giving a collar way to fast once , I agree that the collar is of the utmost importance  and is sometimes taken for granted by some of the newer Ppl in the life . I had the whole thing blow up in My face from not taking the time to get to know the one more than I did ...

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submission is a gift you cant take

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 3:33:33 PM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		lol... I'm not under the impression that me making this poste will some how, magicly, make all those assholes stop messageing me. For one, I don't think that those assholes would be reading it in the first place ;)... they're to busy jerking off the the pics on this sight. lol
 
I just wanted to put it out there. That's all.
 
Shylah

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 3:44:04 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

It's just seeing stuff like the "online collar" or the "master" who collars every woman he fucks and can't remember any of their names, makes people just laugh and ignor the revrence I have for the symbol for of my collar and the meaning I place on it.


Again...

quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca
...but in the end, theirs take nothing away from mine (nor do they add any sort of validity if I find we have things in common). 

... If I find they are strongly rooted in their beliefs and it isn't a passing fancy, so be it.  It still takes nothing away from mine

 




Look at it from the opposite side.  If they respect you/your relationship, think it's da bomb, an ideal, something they should strive for, the most wonderful, fantabulous creation ever....does it add any validity to it?  Not really. 

Edited to add:  I understand the frustration factor you have happening, though.  Pick your battles.  This one just ain't worth it in my book.  ;)







< Message edited by valeca -- 1/22/2007 3:46:49 PM >

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~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 3:59:48 PM   
feylin


Posts: 182
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl


It's kind of like if you're wearing a wedding ring (Yes I remember what I said before about compering the collar to a wedding ring) and saying, "I'm married" and still guys asking you out on dates and trying to get in your pants.
 


You are young and attractive...on top of that there is always going to be some guy (probably more than one <grins>) out there who would try and get in your pants, so to speak, even if you are laid up in the hospital in a full body cast.  A collar and/or wedding ring might just look like really cool jewelry ~ if he or she notices at all, they might think you are good for the dinner tab.  Its why there are beer commercials.

I would think the only way someone could lessen the "work" and bank of emotions you have already put into your collar is if you actually allow them to affect how you feel about it.  Whether you respond with grace, humor or anger to what you perceive as disrespect, if you respond at all it will reflect your own opinion of what your collar means to you, not necessarily anyone else's exact opinion.  (Why do I keep picturing Rodney Dangerfield, "I don't get no respect....")  You can gently or harshly let someone know what it means to you, or dismiss/delete at whim with a glance or a button.

The worst thing (in my opinion) would be if my perception of the meaning of the collar placed around my neck was jarringly different from what the dominant male doing the placing was thinking it meant.  It has probably happened somewhere.  I would hope I am smarter than that, but I too sometimes drink beer, so you never know.

I can understand becoming aggitated with a constant barrage of "So, do you wanna?" but I do not truly understand how the actions of others could upset you so much.  Even if a couple is done in a week, they were happy for five days or so, give or take.  Good for them.

Best wishes in your journey,
Christine

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 4:44:54 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

To me a collar is the same as a wedding ring. It is a sign of ownership and committement between us. I do not agree with one meeting and getting collared, how do you know someone? Yes some do not understand what a collar means, probably because no one has explained it to them. Those that go from one collar to another in short times have other problems to contend with. I know what it means to us and that is all I worry about.

I so agree with this! I took 2 years to collar my sub because I wanted to be sure that we were compatible and that the relationship was on a firm base. I never collar lightly and in fact have only collared two previous subs.

To me it is like marriage in a way and not to be taken lightly.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 5:36:47 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		The edit button is there only for a short term after you write your post. It disappears fairly quickly alas.

I apologize for harassing you about your spelling but once an English major, always an English major.

Some people fall in love at first sight and get engaged to be married within two weeks and last a lifetime. Others wait three years to make sure it's right and get divorced within a year. No rhyme or reason for it that I can see.

He collared me about a month after we met, but he offered it two weeks after. I wasn't sure how well it could work LDR and held him off for two weeks. We were LDR for two years, have been living together for about a year and a half and are starting a business together. He's pushing marriage but I'm scared to death of it. He'll get me there eventually I know, he's like a bull dog, doesn't give up no matter what.

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 6:30:08 PM   
glycerine


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Frankly if people put as much thought and angst into their RELATIONSHIPS as they do all these discussions about "WHAT A COLLAR REALLY MEANS" I think we'd have a lot more happy, healthy and long-term relationships than we do now.


i have to agree with this.  What a collar means to one person is certainly not what a collar can signify to another.  And if it works for them and their relationship, well all the better for them.  It might not work for me or anyone else, but it makes them happy then so be it.  Frankly i don't really see what the big deal is getting all upset over.  It isn't "your" collar.  The only time where i can see it being a problem would be if the two people in a relationship have differing views on what a collar can signify.

_____________________________

Good Sense is always easier to Have than to Use.

it might just be
clear, simple and plain
That's just fine
that's just one of my names
--------------------------------Bush

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 9:13:37 PM   
MBETWO


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		I put a collar on my love when I want to show the world (our little group of friends) that she's mine.
I put a collar  on my love when I want to tie her to the bed for the night, it does wonders for her attitude the next day.
I take the collar off when we go back to real life and she's my wife and the mother of our children.
We've been together more than half our lives, we've bounced in and out of D/s or a good part of that time. We're taking it a much more seriously lately.  Although she'll wear a collar me for play, I have not collared her.  We're committed to each other our marriage and our family.  We're still trying to figure out the D/s aspect of our love for one another.

I just hate to see "collared" reduced to "going steady". 




(in reply to glycerine)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/22/2007 9:19:29 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I put my collar on my Angel when I wanted to show him that I was seriously committed to what we were getting into.  He and I share the appreciation of the menaing.  Wether anyone else shares our interpretation doesnt matter.  What is important is what the collar means to the two involved

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MBETWO)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 6:15:31 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		shyla,

Your correct! the path has been diluted with the lack of serious understanding of what a collar means. // it not popcorn.

CP

(in reply to Shylahgirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 6:35:33 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

shyla,

Your correct! the path has been diluted with the lack of serious understanding of what a collar means. // it not popcorn.

Oh good grief.  Another One Twue Way, "Old Guard" Dominate Master speaks.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 10:10:18 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Oh good grief. Another One Twue Way, "Old Guard" Dominate Master speaks.

~stef
[/quote

stef,

It is truely unfortunate that you cannot accept the profiles of those whose path you disagree with, without a negative comment.

Do indeed have a good day.

CP]

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 11:04:33 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

It is truely unfortunate that you cannot accept the profiles of those whose path you disagree with, without a negative comment.

Pity you don't feel the same way about turning your nose up at anyone who doesn't share your views on collars.  Was your hypocrisy learned on your "path" or did you pick it up all by yourself?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 4:59:37 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
Your correct! the path has been diluted with the lack of serious understanding of what a collar means.


Can a collar be interpreted?  What does this collar mean?

http://www.uptownpoochie.com/992.html

MaryT

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 5:23:55 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:shylahgirlAnd for me, it seems that when I say that I'm collard it's not taken as seriously by others as it should be.
 Why does it matter what other people take seriously about your and your partners' relationship? 
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I was not allowed to say I was collard for that time


Thank goodness.  Were you green?

 I was so just thinking about collard greens and how very gross they are.  Yuck. I never really got why people said they were 'collared' instead of just saying they were owned which is what their collar was representing in the first place.  Or something like that?  The agreements I make with my partner are more important to me than the jewelry he makes me wear.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: To give and recive a collar - 1/23/2007 5:24:14 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

To me a collar is the same as a wedding ring. It is a sign of ownership and committement between us. I do not agree with one meeting and getting collared, how do you know someone? Yes some do not understand what a collar means, probably because no one has explained it to them. Those that go from one collar to another in short times have other problems to contend with. I know what it means to us and that is all I worry about.


I got my collar a few weeks before we married. We had been together almost 3 years by then (our anniversary of my moving in is today btw)

To me my wedding ring is a symbol of our love and commitment to each other, my collar is a symbol of the type of relationship we have. No less of a commitment, just a different way of expressing it.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 40
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