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Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 5:46:18 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Hi,

"Natural born leader" is a term that seems to apply well to the handful of Doms I've gotten to know. (Not to be exclusive either, I just haven't met any Dommes yet.) Yet a lot of the submissives and slaves on here don't seem like the type that would normally be called "followers" to me. So I'm wondering - keeping in mind that anyone can lead and anyone can follow based on the situation, but that we each have innate preferences - do you consider yourself innately a leader... a follower... or an independent?




< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 8:45:52 PM >
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 6:13:54 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyakitten

Hi,

"Natural born leader" is a term that seems to apply well to the handful of Doms I've gotten to know. (Not to be exclusive either, I just haven't met any Dommes yet.) Yet a lot of the submissives and slaves on here don't seem like the type that would normally be called "followers" to me. So I'm wondering - keeping in mind that anyone can lead and anyone can follow based on the situation, but that we each have innate preferences - do you consider yourself innately a leader... a follower... or an independent?

Thanks,
Liana






Liana-
Socially I am very dominant and very much a 'leader'. In personal (intimate or very close friendships) I am quite the follower. I've always been this way.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 6:22:59 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Yet a lot of the submissives and slaves on here don't seem like the type that would normally be called "followers" to me.


In the vanilla world i am definitely a leader. I tend to get elected president of almost every organization i'm involved with.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 7:06:15 PM   
teachmetobeg


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		i am considered a leader in most aspects outside of romantic relationships. While in them, i tend to 'allow' the guy to have what he wants. Pleasing him is more important to me. i would not say i am a follower in these cases, just that i like to step back every now and again handing the reigns to someone else.

_____________________________

There's nothing in a catepillar telling you its going to be a butterfly

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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 7:39:00 PM   
WulfMan


Posts: 115
Status: offline 		I consider myself a leader by far, in the professional world at least. I can't afford not to be a leader, people's lives depend on it.

(in reply to teachmetobeg)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 8:17:31 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks for the responses so far. I wonder how close in definition we'd all be if I'd asked people to define what leadership is to them?

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/2/2005 9:00:39 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		im very submissive in the real world i have to stand up for myself sometimes other times im the only one that knows how to do something so i have to lead.

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 12:12:18 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Yup, I'm going to weigh in as another 'natural born leader.'

I feel the need to re-assert though that I am -NOT- submissive to get a "break" from the controll I have in my every daylife. It's a different element of my personality.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 12:31:58 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyakitten

Thanks for the responses so far. I wonder how close in definition we'd all be if I'd asked people to define what leadership is to them?



Leadership (to me) is the ability to make decisions and be an example for a group of people or one other person, to set an example, to make autonomous decisions.
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 5:53:22 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I guess I'm an independent. I can lead and am a very good leader and usually end up leading because I'm good at it and willing to take the responsibility, but I rarely set out to be "the leader."

The issue is that most people confuse "submissive orientation" with "submissive personality." So when they go on and on about someone being a "natural submissive" they usually just mean someone who has a lot of stereotypical submissive personality traits.

I know lots of subs who are weak, who couldn't lead a round of Happy Birthday, but then, there are doms like that too. Just comes down to know the difference between personality and orientation.

(in reply to MzBerlin)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 7:35:37 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		I am most comfortable being a very good team player in my professional world. I am a decisive person and have been praised for "getting the job done efficiently" but I do not seek out leadership roles. I am not comfortable being a leader. I am a follower, but not a sheep following a wolf type. I can stand up for myself when I want to.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 7:59:58 AM   
ARoseAndAnEye


Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline 		I tend to be submissive even when i shouldn't be! Which is a weird situation for me because I'm in charge of an entire office. Go figure. It can be quite difficult for me sometimes.... and Master frequently needs to COMMAND me to be assertive in certain situations when I SHOULD be assertive and am not.

guess its our own little brand of edge play? lol

I wish I WASN'T so docile!

~anna

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 9:15:35 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

keeping in mind that anyone can lead and anyone can follow based on the situation, but that we each have innate preferences - do you consider yourself innately a leader... a follower... or an independent?


this slave considers herself to gravitate to those positions of follow, regardless of the situation. the exception being when she is in a herd whose shepherd has fallen asleep, or is distracted, suffering from shepherd burnout or made the decision to give up herding altogether and takes up with the next circus passing through town. then this slave would be the one waking him up, getting his attention, coaching him through his burnout or packing his suitcase and wishing him well on his new career as a performer.

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 9:33:46 AM   
ruffnecksbabygir


Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		i'm definately a follower although i don't just blindly follow anyone ....i am an independant thinker, i can certainly stick up for myself and be assertive when need be but ultimately i am a follower.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Leaders and Followers - 3/3/2005 10:07:29 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

suffering from shepherd burnout or made the decision to give up herding altogether and takes up with the next circus passing through town.


beth - LOL at your fantastic metaphor. I'm the exact same way in a crisis, but when all is well in sheepdom, I'm off dancing in a field of daisies somewhere by myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Just comes down to know the difference between personality and orientation.

Very astute! Thanks for a tidier way of looking at this.


< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 8:42:20 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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