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MasterHXB -> True (1/23/2007 11:24:02 PM)

There people who post about a "true slave or "true master". There is no true master or slave out there. There is no one side of the bdsm lifestyle. We all here live it in different ways. Those rules are made up by the people in that bdsm relationship.

Your thoughts.



JohnWarren -> RE: True (1/23/2007 11:28:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

There people who post about a "true slave or "true master". There is no true master or slave out there. There is no one side of the bdsm lifestyle. We all here live it in different ways. Those rules are made up by the people in that bdsm relationship.

Your thoughts.


What's to say?  IMO you've pretty much hit the nail on the head



Milivoje -> RE: True (1/24/2007 2:22:50 AM)

I am not a Master by some divine right... I enjoy that role, in pretty much the same way as my slave enjoys her role.



eyesopened -> RE: True (1/24/2007 3:09:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

There people who post about a "true slave or "true master". There is no true master or slave out there. There is no one side of the bdsm lifestyle. We all here live it in different ways. Those rules are made up by the people in that bdsm relationship.

Your thoughts.


A friend once likened these relationships to Bakin-Robbins... yes, it's ice cream but with 31 flavors a plethora of sprinkles, etc there is something for everyone.  Cup, cone, sundae, split, parfait, whatever.  A combination that is 'ewwww' for some is oh so yummy for someone else.



ownedgirlie -> RE: True (1/24/2007 3:11:09 AM)

But...does this mean there are no true friends?  No true loves?  No true meanings?  We are a selective group about our vocabulary, aren't we?  "True" has never bothered me.  Those who mock others for using it, tend to, however.  Not saying your OP did, because it didn't.  But that happens a lot around here.  Some just use the word as the opposite of false.  I mean, we have a thread in the Submissives forum about predators.  One could say a "true" Dom is one who isn't a predator.   I was recently told by a forum member who has never been owned that I live in a fantasy world because of the principles of slavery I live by.  Would that be the same as saying I'm "untrue?"  We hear about how those without limits are liars and fakes...are they also untrue?  The list goes on. Why is one criticism (fantasy, liar, fake, fooling oneself, etc.) acceptable but another (true) so taboo?  Why does it seem that people get so defensive when that word is used?

One could say that "true" simply means as one believes it means.  I think it means true to whom that person is.  I am being true to myself if I live as a slave.  I am not being true to myself if I don't. 

I dunno.  I don't get why everyone gets so riled and offended by that particular four letter word.  And that's really my true opinion [;)]



slavegirl1969 -> RE: True (1/24/2007 3:15:13 AM)

I agree with you completely.  I am a submissive but my Master likes to call me slave, likes the way it rolls of his tongue.  When I first joined here and Master and I were just starting out together (and even now) I would read threads on here about people being true slaves or true subs and would think the way we are falls way short of what these peoples lives are like and felt I fell short of both titles, and would scurry off to Master with loads of "I should be like this, or that or the other and you should treat me like this or that".  However, now my insecurities of whether I am a true submissive have levelled out I know I am a true submissive within the confines of our relationship.  I am true to him and to myself and we have an amazing relationship because of it that works for both of us.
 
If, god forbid, anything should happen and sometime in the future I ended up with a new Master (heart stops at the thought of that happening) I would be true to that Master and the boundaries of that relationship.



bandit25 -> RE: True (1/24/2007 3:16:55 AM)

To be honest, I don't know why anyone worries about someone else's relationship; that is to say, whether that person is a true whatever.  If you're not in that relationship. what difference could it possibly make to you?  Whatever works for those in any particular relationship is true for them.



ownedgirlie -> RE: True (1/24/2007 3:20:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

To be honest, I don't know why anyone worries about someone else's relationship; that is to say, whether that person is a true whatever.  If you're not in that relationship. what difference could it possibly make to you?  Whatever works for those in any particular relationship is true for them.

Wholeheartedly agree here, and with the flipside of that too - why do so many worry about what others think of their own relationships?  If you're happy in yours, what matters whether or not someone thinks you are a true whatever?



agirl -> RE: True (1/24/2007 6:21:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

To be honest, I don't know why anyone worries about someone else's relationship; that is to say, whether that person is a true whatever.  If you're not in that relationship. what difference could it possibly make to you?  Whatever works for those in any particular relationship is true for them.

Wholeheartedly agree here, and with the flipside of that too - why do so many worry about what others think of their own relationships?  If you're happy in yours, what matters whether or not someone thinks you are a true whatever?


Because everybody needs somebody................



................to look down on?.........lol


agirl





mnottertail -> RE: True (1/24/2007 6:37:55 AM)

True dat!



SweetSarijane -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:24:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Why is one criticism (fantasy, liar, fake, fooling oneself, etc.) acceptable but another (true) so taboo?  Why does it seem that people get so defensive when that word is used?



I honestly think the problem so many have with true is the perception of how it's used, the context in which it's used, and how they perceive the one who used it intended for it to come across.

I do have a problem with.....someone saying if you're not xyz you're not a true sub/slave or if you like abc you're not a true dom....those that seem to try to push off on others their beliefs as the real and true and only right ones. A matter of context, intent and perception.



Aubre -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:26:01 AM)

The whole "true" thing I think emerged as a way (in a semi-polite backhanded insult kind of way) for people to call other people poseurs so they can feel better about themselves and choices that they have made, ironcally, not really telling the truth.
'
Example:

"I like you a lot, but I like this other person more , and I choose them because they are a true (master/sub) and you are just not as (masterful/submissive) as they are." The next week, they are telling this to the person they chose the first time.



DeepWaters -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:30:57 AM)

True can be defined as someone who does not poof--that's the only type of true submissive that's a prerequisite



darksdesire -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:32:36 AM)

I agree with owned; 
I think at least with male Doms, they use true in an effort to distinguish themselves from someone who is a predator or who wants to use the title Dom as an excuse to be abusive to women.  Still, I do cringe if others say someone is not a true sub, slave, dom, mistress if the don't do x y or z. 



mstrjx -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:33:28 AM)

Sure, we can debate 'true' (or not) all day.  The consensus seems to be that 'true' does not exist.

Fine.

But there is (or MUST be) better and 'not' better.  There is quality to consider.

Take a submissive, for example.  He/she has spent many years working with one or more Dom(me)/Master/Mistress to become what they are.  Now they are 'without', but want to become a sub/slave to another.  That person cannot randomly select their new partner.  They must find someone at or above their 'skill' level to bring out the best they can be and/or have been.

The same need not be true of dominants, because they might take pleasure in always working with newbies.  Conversely, they might want experience.  It can go either way.

But for some, the field narrows with each experience.

Jeff



eyesopened -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:34:58 AM)

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And thats why I love you - Phil Collins

Oh crap but that doesn't work for people who are color blind.



onestandingstill -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:37:12 AM)

I think this is a distinction between those who have a dose of kink on the side vs someone who identifies under their kink all the time and not just in play or on dates.



newsubseeking61 -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:44:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
But there is (or MUST be) better and 'not' better.  There is quality to consider.
................
That person cannot randomly select their new partner.  They must find someone at or above their 'skill' level to bring out the best they can be and/or have been.
.........
But for some, the field narrows with each experience.


This is off topic,,,,please forgive me.

This concept is very helpful to me as I experience the selection process. While I am new to the  lifestyle, I am not new to life. I am keenly aware of many of the things that I require "to bring out the best that I can be." 

This confirms some things for me. Thank you.

best!



maddie57 -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:49:29 AM)

Shouldn't that have read Cyndi Lauper - I am sure it was her, not Phil Collins



spankmepink11 -> RE: True (1/24/2007 7:53:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I think this is a distinction between those who have a dose of kink on the side vs someone who identifies under their kink all the time and not just in play or on dates.


Its not a distinction at all, just an  affirmation that we  do not  need external validation in order to be true to ourselves, and practice our relationships in the manner we choose without being pseudo psycho analyzed.  I feel like i have a decent amount of experience, but in no way does that give me the insight or knowledge to play arm chair psychologist, or tell others how they should be conducting their relationships.



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