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RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 5:38:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Was she saying it was impossible for ALL slaves or for HER?

Nothing is impossible...but some things are against our habitual nature. If she finds it truly difficult to be that way, then she needs to find a Master who will appreciate who she is naturally. I'd not dress a butch in an evening gown, for example.

Master Fire


Aw cmon that could be a LOT of fun!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 5:39:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well Phoenix, sounds like we have a slave set in her ways.  At least you got that settled up front and can move on.

There is also the fact that number of competent and patient dominants willing to put in the time and energy to take a set in stone slave and train their behavior to very opposite of that...well just aren't a lot.  So, in that sense, it could be impossible for her and would be much better off to find a dom who just accepted her set in stone self.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to losttreasure)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 5:42:24 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		My prior snarky answer notwithstanding, I think we've all missed 'the point'.  The question isn't even on track to begin with.  Perhaps.  Reread the OP's second post.

From pursuer to pursued.  'I'm really looking for X quality.'

The disinterested pursued.  'Wow, that's strange.  I am so NOT X.'

The real topic is not X quality.  What we're witnessing is a brush-off.

Perhaps.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 6:43:15 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

I had an interesting exchange with a young slave who didn't think it was possible for a slave to act demure and ladylike while in public.


Was the slave female?

I can't imagine why it would be stretch even if it didn't come naturally.  It doesn't take much of an actress to pull off demure and ladylike. 

MaryT

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 6:58:55 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Was she saying it was impossible for ALL slaves or for HER?

Nothing is impossible...but some things are against our habitual nature. If she finds it truly difficult to be that way, then she needs to find a Master who will appreciate who she is naturally. I'd not dress a butch in an evening gown, for example.

Master Fire


Aw cmon that could be a LOT of fun!


Ok, ok...it COULD. ;-)

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The public persona..... - 1/24/2007 7:26:03 PM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Daddy expects me to be and act like a lady at all times  whether i'm with Him or not(even while i'm on a date too). it's one of His strict rules He placed on me.  not only do my actions reflect on how well He trained me but also on myself and my reputation since i'm in the public eye most times. 

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 6:16:15 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

We never really got into a discussion as to specific behaviors.  I told her that I would want someone to act "ladylike," which I know is a bit vague, and her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"  The question of what constitutes "ladylike" behaviours is a discussion for another post I think.


I strongly disagree.

Perhaps you need to have this discussion with her, rather than us.  How can you expect anything of her that is to your liking if your liking isnt communicated, beforehand?  Just as Dominatns arent mind-readers, why would you expect her to be one?  It's your responsibility to lay down guidelines for her to follow, thats why she thinks, what she assumes you want seems impossible.  It is impossible unless you tell her what it is that you specifically desire.

So, what do you think is lady-like behavior?  I think the discussion is long overdue rather than a topic at a later time.  Thats why youre not getting what you want and she is left to her own devices.  Give her the guidance she craves which is the essence of her submission. 

Best wishes,
LBO

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 8:03:06 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

 her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"

That is a surprising response -- I thought they stopped giving lobotomies decades ago!


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 8:11:57 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

I had an interesting exchange with a young slave who didn't think it was possible for a slave to act demure and ladylike while in public.  My response to this is: If you are in a complete power exchange relationship, shouldn't you strive to act in whatever manner your Master dictates?  If He/She demands that you carry yourself a certain way, isn't it incumbent upon you to do your best to be that way, even if it conflicts with your basic instincts?  The assumption in this situation is that a failure to act or carry yourself as the Master demands will be met with correction, both by word or look in the public venue, and later by discipline in private.

Any thoughts on the matter?


Sure. This is simply a new concept for her and one she is not yet comfortable with.  With proper training (yeah I know we all hate that word), she can become more comfortable and confident with herself, which would allow her  to serve her Master more completely, and to do whatever the Master required.  Her paradigms of "the way things ought to be" are shed, and her goal shifts from self pleasure to please her Master, first.  Contrary to what many might hope for, this does not always come automatically for a slave.  Often the slave is still learning her(him)self and has yet to discard notions of putting herself before him.  If a Master is willing to invest the time and energy in developing his slave, he can guide her to overcome this way of thinking.

Or he can simply say "Bah, you're not for me.  Where's my ready-made?" 

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 8:14:59 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne
It's your responsibility to lay down guidelines for her to follow, thats why she thinks, what she assumes you want seems impossible.  It is impossible unless you tell her what it is that you specifically desire.


Bingo.  Nice to see this post.  I mentioned in the Training thread that one of the things I loved (and still do) about my Master was that he always set me up to succeed by making his desires and expectations clear enough to follow them.  And when I struggled because it went against my previous notions, he'd help me to see things more clearly and work through them in my own mind. 

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 10:41:50 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I consider myself to be a Southern lady, and always try to behave with class and manners in public. That said, I found a quote the other day, that I am adopting to be my personal mantra. *L*

"Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires." Robert Heinlein

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 12:10:40 PM   
PookBaccus


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		agirl,

Some of what I enjoy is the process of morphing a girl ( mentally / emotionally / tollerantly / etc. ). I personally like to create a more self assured and healthier person then when I meet them.

It isn't a challenge to break someones will. But to help create a Woman out of a female can be an art form.

Why CHOOSE a slave/sub/property/ whatever .........that isn't the way you'd like in the first place?

What are the odds of finding someone who meshes perfectly? 7-3, 9-4 or that elusive and often touted 1 in a million.

To the original post :

The slave/sub should do what the Dom wants.
Exception: Established Hard Limits

If the sub was to only be Dom'd in the manner in which the sub decreed that sounds as though the sub is in control.

Ain't nothin' wrong with that if that is what the 2 of you are into.
I'm sure there are as many different forms of relationships as there are 2.5 times the number of people on the planet.

Enjoy,
PookBaccus

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 2:19:59 PM   
apettiger


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

We never really got into a discussion as to specific behaviors.  I told her that I would want someone to act "ladylike," which I know is a bit vague, and her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"  The question of what constitutes "ladylike" behaviours is a discussion for another post I think.




this girl is not sure, as she was not there, but due to the way Ph0enixFIre relates her reaction, this girl would say that the slave in question is getting stuck on the word "lady" and not associating it with a polite behavior induldged in while interacting with the general public, but with an elevated status. such as "the lady of the manor", and since she is a slave, it would be unheard of for her to view herself in that manner.
but this is only one girl's opinion.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 5:34:40 PM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: apettiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ph0enixF1re

We never really got into a discussion as to specific behaviors.  I told her that I would want someone to act "ladylike," which I know is a bit vague, and her reply was "I cannot act like a lady, I am a slave!"  The question of what constitutes "ladylike" behaviours is a discussion for another post I think.




this girl is not sure, as she was not there, but due to the way Ph0enixFIre relates her reaction, this girl would say that the slave in question is getting stuck on the word "lady" and not associating it with a polite behavior induldged in while interacting with the general public, but with an elevated status. such as "the lady of the manor", and since she is a slave, it would be unheard of for her to view herself in that manner.
but this is only one girl's opinion.


This is pretty much what I thought, too.  I suppose a lot depends on what else was said in the conversation.  'Polite' and 'Lady-like (as in the above quote)' can be two different things to me.  It's really hard to take a snippet of conversation and make sense of what meanings were attributed to what words.


_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to apettiger)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 5:43:29 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		IMO it is possible she simply doesn't understand what acting like a lady means. For her it could be things like the opera or dining  and not knowing what salad fork to use. Many of these things used to be taught, they are no longer the priority they once were.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 6:56:40 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		Even William Shatner could act like a lady ... there is no easier role.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The public persona..... - 1/25/2007 11:07:41 PM   
Ph0enixF1re


Posts: 91
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks all for the responses, and it seems the majority oppinion confirms my veiwpoint (not that I need majority confimation by any means).  I meant that a forum discussion as to what constitues "ladylike" behaviour would be an interesting topic for another post, not that I would not discuss that with the slave in question.  I determined that her and I were not really on the same page on a number of other issues, so we never got to have that conversation.  I agree that the Master's expectations should always be clear, otherwise he/she is failing in their responsibilities.  Leadership without clear definitions of expectations is tyranny in my opinion.  That is fine for some, but not the way I do things.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The public persona..... - 1/26/2007 2:46:02 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i'm not sure how a slave acts differently than a lady.  Of course i was taught from childhood how to be a "lady" which is pretty much the proper way to sit, stand, walk, which fork to use, keep elbows off the table, use a napkin, don't chew with your mouth open and never ever fart.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Ph0enixF1re)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The public persona..... - 1/26/2007 12:05:31 PM   
PookBaccus


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		It's probably a matter of perception / vision.
For example ~ If as slave, the only method of servitude and existance she has been permitted to experience is food out of a bowl on the floor, leashed to the toilet when left alone, and mentally programed to be an object then the concept of Lady = slave wouldn't be in her mental matrix.

Now if someone was to be honored as a show piece, trained in formal disciplines, public grace, who was cherished and vivificated, and generalyy made to think highly of herself, that individual would have a hard time understanding the concept of slave = oral boot cleaner / human bed urinal.

enjoy,
PookBaccus

It's what you do with The Control that discerns and decrees what they will believe. ~ PookBaccus 

(in reply to Coupleseeking321)
Profile   Post #: 39
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