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the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 5:17:22 AM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

I have been repeated getting hit by people sending me annoyances in regard to my use of lady in my profile. Accoding to these annoyances anyone that uses the word lady in their profile in essence isn't.

In my life i have strived to become a lady. To me a lady is someone that is more than a woman. a woman is a genetic term, a lady is a cultural one. A lady is a nurturer, a care giver, a woman of class and distiction. I was taught as a young girl that one should strive to be as much of a lady as possible.

I was an enigma as a child. I knew how to rebuild a car engine, i could tar a roof, and frequently did all the activities that the boys were supposed to do (granted i had no brothers), But I also was a beauty queen....I actually was miss teen of my state when i was 18...i have the sash and tiara to prove it. I know which fork to use and which spoon to use (those are easy start with the outside and work your way in), but most of all it is my humble belief that I have learned the skills that my grandmother taught me....I walk with grace and self assurance. A lady is NOT a weak individual. A lady would not stand by as a bully picked on anyone, nor do I. I am a woman with self assurance and self confidence.

I wonder why is it that it is perfectly acceptable for a man to be called a gentleman, but a woman be called a lady not?

hank you...and who ever you are that continue to write these pesky notes then removing your profiles.....have a nice day and drive carefully!

red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

Post #: 1

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:03:18 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I wonder why it bothers you that strangers that you do not know question whether or not you are a "lady". I sincerely do not understand it. I read your profile, and it fairly screamed the need for everyone to know how you are not a slut, whore, whatever, and I really do not understand that. These people emailing you do not know you, they do not pay your bills, why would you care what they think? I do not know what a "lady" is to be honest with you, other than I do use the "ladies room" when out and about and no one ever challenged my right to

. I tend to think of that word as based upon someone else's external judgment of me, and not my own intrinsic value as a human being. I am a polite person, I am educated, I was taught how to comport myself in a ladylike way. I walk erect and proudly, but I could care not if anyone else thinks I am a lady or not. I care much more what I think. My Daddy never calls me a lady, he calls me his strumpet, and yet he treats me with a huge amount of respect.

I do not think of the word "woman" to be generic, far from it, it is the essense of who I am in my body. "Lady" is just another role foisted upon me by people who want me to live up to their expectations... womanhood is the essense of everything that I have done that is worthwhile, being a mother, being a sister, being a daughter, being a mate, being a female submissive... being a lady had nothing to do with those relationships... its the way we acted because someone else expected us to keep our legs crossed, walk poised, be demure, speak softly.... no, I am definitely not a lady.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 2

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:36:58 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

and a lady would not write something which smells of bitterness miles away...
this DOES smell of bitterness omfg and a lady is one who doesn't brag *cough* your post smells of it miles away too
but apart from that I'm sure you can be a lady
but why does it, to me, seem like the ones that aint lady are far below you??
gah whining.. in my opinion a lady is one you just see is a lady, and it doesn't matter whether she knows how to eat or not...I think it all depends on the character of a person. I knew a woman, she passed away some years ago..and that woman was a real lady. She never competed to become a lady she just WAS one.. you could see it, even though you didn't know her personally, that she was a real lady..it was her aura or presence that indicated that she was.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 3

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:44:59 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not think of the word "woman" to be generic, far from it, it is the essense of who I am in my body. "Lady" is just another role foisted upon me by people who want me to live up to their expectations... womanhood is the essense of everything that I have done that is worthwhile, being a mother, being a sister, being a daughter, being a mate, being a female submissive... being a lady had nothing to do with those relationships... its the way we acted because someone else expected us to keep our legs crossed, walk poised, be demure, speak softly.... no, I am definitely not a lady.

Ummmm...She said a "genetic" trait, not generic. In that capacity I agree with her. I also agree with you in terms of the roles you have taken being examples of your womanhood.

I think the term "lady" is subjective - we all have our own ideas of what constitutes "lady" and how you see that term will largely dictate whether you define yourself as same. In that regard I am in agreement with the original poster. I consider myself to be a lady and in no way am I demure or soft spoken. I also have no problem letting my inner slut out when it suits me. I don't need anyone's permission to do so and, to my mind, it doesn't compromise my position as a lady. It has very little to do with how others perceive me. I have my own definition of lady and I fit into it quite nicely. My mother may have disagreed with me as her idea of what a lady is often was significantly different than my idea.

I believe it was Margaret Thatcher that said "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 4

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:46:14 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

I would say we have to turn to the immortal Tom Jones for our true definition of a lady.

"Well she's all you'd ever want
She's the kind I like to flaunt
And take to dinner

Well she always knows her place
She's got style shes got grace
She's a winner

She's a lady.. whoa whoa whoa she's a lady.."

Otherwise.. frankly we all get derrogatory notes. There's always someone who doesnt like who we are or what we call ourselves. As I myself have been told numerous times, its just something you have to not let affect you personally. Would a lady care what others think of her or would she hold true to her own standards and not sink to the offenders level?

As to why its acceptable for a man to be called a gentleman, but a woman not to be called a lady.. well I have to admit I have never encountered that particular prejudice.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 5

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:46:47 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Missy you said it perfectly.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 6

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:47:17 AM

krista

Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Greetings......

Words are so very interesting to me....i wonder.......is a classy slut...which is how i view myself......the same as a lady??.....Inquiring minds want to know........

a confuzzled
krista
joy through service

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 7

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:47:25 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I misread that word in her post....smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 8

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 8:51:18 AM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

*claps*

beautifully said

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 9

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 2:39:42 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

CitW - dont worry about it. But if you do, and you want to show these jokers that you really are a Lady, Google "Laird of Glencairn", buy your land in Scotland (a square foot - the payment is for charity to replant Caledonian forest), and get the paperwork through to show you are a real, genuine Laird, the female of which is Lady. I did it years ago, just for fun!

Being born with XX chromosomes is a 51% chance, allocated by nature (for the scientific). Not every woman will have it in her to become a lady though, and not every lady was born with XX chromosomes. Becoming a lady is not about high birth, nor even an official document as above, but about striving for that status amongst one's peers.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 10

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 2:44:26 PM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Definition of a lady?

My grandmother.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 11

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 2:47:33 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind

I have been repeated getting hit by people sending me annoyances in regard to my use of lady in my profile. Accoding to these annoyances anyone that uses the word lady in their profile in essence isn't.

In my life i have strived to become a lady. To me a lady is someone that is more than a woman. a woman is a genetic term, a lady is a cultural one. A lady is a nurturer, a care giver, a woman of class and distiction. I was taught as a young girl that one should strive to be as much of a lady as possible.

I was an enigma as a child. I knew how to rebuild a car engine, i could tar a roof, and frequently did all the activities that the boys were supposed to do (granted i had no brothers), But I also was a beauty queen....I actually was miss teen of my state when i was 18...i have the sash and tiara to prove it. I know which fork to use and which spoon to use (those are easy start with the outside and work your way in), but most of all it is my humble belief that I have learned the skills that my grandmother taught me....I walk with grace and self assurance. A lady is NOT a weak individual. A lady would not stand by as a bully picked on anyone, nor do I. I am a woman with self assurance and self confidence.

I wonder why is it that it is perfectly acceptable for a man to be called a gentleman, but a woman be called a lady not?

hank you...and who ever you are that continue to write these pesky notes then removing your profiles.....have a nice day and drive carefully!

red

Candle,

To me, a lady is an item manufactured to appeal to men. You can teach anyone heirs and graces, how to hold a knife and fork, how to walk, how to dress and how to talk but you can't manufacture a heart and compassion - give me a woman over a lady every time.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 12

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 4:16:53 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Definition of a lady = Me

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 13

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 4:30:28 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Pearls and always quality shoes. Having a kleenex on hand while never being phased with things outside of her comfort zone.
Dang, I want to be a lady! Oops I can't, I go barefoot a lot

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 14

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 5:59:04 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I have that I'm a lady in my profile....... of course they'd have have to actually READ my profile to see that and we all know that reading a profile before responding to it is apparently a common hard limit!

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 15

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 6:51:55 PM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

CitW - dont worry about it. But if you do, and you want to show these jokers that you really are a Lady, Google "Laird of Glencairn", buy your land in Scotland (a square foot - the payment is for charity to replant Caledonian forest), and get the paperwork through to show you are a real, genuine Laird, the female of which is Lady. I did it years ago, just for fun!

Being born with XX chromosomes is a 51% chance, allocated by nature (for the scientific). Not every woman will have it in her to become a lady though, and not every lady was born with XX chromosomes. Becoming a lady is not about high birth, nor even an official document as above, but about striving for that status amongst one's peers.

E

Lady Ellen...
I believe i shall do just that...then i can use the title I feel covers MY belief of who I am... there is nothing wrong with feelign that you are the title slut, whore, bitch, or anything else.....they are just not who I AM....

I ama caregiver by nature..and have repeatedly been on the recieving end of jackasses who do not read a profile and who also seemt o feel that any person who is GENETICALLY a woman is a slut, whore, bitch or any of the million of other titles women may wish to have of them selves...I personally feel that the term Lady does in fact apply here...and no a lady in my opinion doesnt just have to do with pinky fingers and tea cups....it has to do with an inner feeling....it is in my opinion a way of describing what type of woman i am..

if i were a lesbian and referred to myself as butch then there would be a vivid picture why not a heterosexual woman saying she is a lady?

in regard to my profile....yes it is powerful and in your face...it was written honestly to weed potential partners out....since i changed the screen name and the profile to what it is....I have been (with the exception tot he whackos who consistantly make their comment then delete the profile) recieving a nice class of gents contacting me....no longer have i been getting those who feel that it is acceptable to send me a message that say c*** on your knees...hey i appreciate that little bit of anecdotal evidence.

Perhaps i scare them away becaus eit is soooo long? I have no clue but the facts as i can see are that the profile as written with the exception of these annoyances has done exactly what i wanted...i do not have hundreds of messages from people that do not understand what i believe nor who i am.

thank you for your posts and i appreciate the critique...i merely wanted to know abotu the word lady not have a critique of my profile...but well you all have your right to do so..

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 16

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 6:56:47 PM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: krista

Greetings......

Words are so very interesting to me....i wonder.......is a classy slut...which is how i view myself......the same as a lady??.....Inquiring minds want to know........

a confuzzled
krista

joy through service

Krista,
it is in my opinion if you feel you are a lady!!

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to krista)

Post #: 17

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 7:08:15 PM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

and a lady would not write something which smells of bitterness miles away...
this DOES smell of bitterness omfg and a lady is one who doesn't brag *cough* your post smells of it miles away too
but apart from that I'm sure you can be a lady
but why does it, to me, seem like the ones that aint lady are far below you??
gah whining.. in my opinion a lady is one you just see is a lady, and it doesn't matter whether she knows how to eat or not...I think it all depends on the character of a person. I knew a woman, she passed away some years ago..and that woman was a real lady. She never competed to become a lady she just WAS one.. you could see it, even though you didn't know her personally, that she was a real lady..it was her aura or presence that indicated that she was.

Missy

I was just wondering what my profile should read. Should it say that i have hairy toes and i live with 8 cats?? My profile is as honest as a woman with life experience can offer the world...after all, it is an advertisement. Actually it was written as such when I wrote it...I am in a new relationship and feel no need to change the profile because i am who i am...

As far as bitterness...it is my opinion that it reeks of experiencce...i know what i do and do not wish to deal with and who i do and do not wish to deal with...i never said that anyone that doesnt align themselves as a lady is somehow below me...as a matter of fact i said so...simply that i do not see myself as a whore or a bottom...a bottom in my opinion is different than a submissive as is a slave...nothing wrong with any of these other personal prefferences simply that I am not those.
well have a nice day and drive safely
red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 18

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/25/2007 11:12:17 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You registered your profile on a site that is primarily about meeting people for explorations into BDSM, which many in the world see primarily as being about sex. You posted your picture on a site that people go to so they can find willing partners to tied by or to tie, beat each other up, and often this means rubbing naughty bits when it is all said and done. Now I do not think of myself as a slut or a bitch or a whore either, but I must say that when I get emails that call me such things I am not overly shocked and amazed .... look at the theme of this site... geesh!

Now a woman can be a slut, bitch, whore, and a lady too, there is no rule that I know of that makes these roles mutually exclusive... and candleinthewind, if you want to be a lady in the strictest sense of the word in the way YOU are choosing to define it, you should at least acknowledge some people will be kinda amused by this thread and your profile. I doubt highly that the grand dames of yesteryear had personal ads on what many see as a sex site. You are no better than any whore on this site

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 19

RE: the definition of a a lady - 1/26/2007 1:42:37 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

Amen honey!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 20

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