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DeepWaters -> Eugenics humor (1/25/2007 9:29:36 AM)
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Designer babies Three babies are dropped off at the eugenics day care: Sally, Jimmy, and Tyler. When their parents leave, they crawl over to the center of the room to introduce themselves. After they make their introductions, Sally decides she likes the looks of Jimmy, and says to him, "Wow, Jimmy, you sure are a well formed baby. I like your silver rattle a lot; it's almost as expensive as mine, I?ll bet." Jimmy nodes sagely, tapping out the Fibinacci Series on the floor with his rattle. "So," Sally goes on, "What eugenic strategy did your parents use when they made you?" Jimmy shrugs, popping his thumb out of his mouth to answer, "My parents were strict classical eugenists. No frills or eccentricity in my genetic makeup; they decided that there was no substitute for superhigh IQ, responsibility, and good health. My respiratory system should endure without medicine until I surpass my hundredth year, provided that I take proper care of myself, which I shall, given my enhanced conscientiousness." So saying, Jimmy resumes his Fibinacci Series where he left off. Sally is impressed, and shakes her solid gold rattle excitedly. "Wow. My parents are more neo-eugenists. They made sure I was smart, but they were more interested in other traits like creativity and agreeableness and stuff. Plus they wanted me to be really pretty. Don't you think I'm cute?" "I sure do," Tyler interjects. Sally turns to Tyler. "So what strategy did your parents use when they made you?" "Well," Tyler said, fiddling with the lining of his diaper, "My parents are Social Darwinists. They decided that the only good traits were ones which made you more competitive." "So what did they program into your genes?" Sally asked. "Oh, a lack of remorse," Tyler said, grabbing her golden rattle away from her, hitting Jimmy on the head with it, stealing his rattle, and stuffing them both into his diaper.
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