Why all the hype about chastity?

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Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 10:57:56 AM

cyberdude611

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One of the kinks I have trouble completely understanding is chastity. I mean when you think about it, isn't counter-productive? The idea of a fetish or a kink is that it arouses you sexually. Yet chastity and orgasm control seem to go against that and work to prevent sexual activity.

It obviously has a lot to do with power exchange. And it is becoming more and more popular in all parts of the lifestyle. Practically every pro-domme has a "keyholding service" these days and it's hard to find any domme who is completely turned off to the idea.

I am just curious what everyone's opinion is on this. And if you are involved in it, why do you do it?

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 11:01:12 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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A lot of people think denial and sacrifice enhances one's submission.

A lot of people consider males (specially sub males) to be endlessly horny dorks and that this will control them so that they can be "civilized."

It's direct and immediate control over one's physical state and pleasure- bondage is very fun for a lot of people.

I'm not into chastity at all. While I might not have sex with someone, I don't have any desire to lock them up.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 11:03:19 AM

littlesarbonn

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I'm not personally involved in it, but it feeds a huge male fantasy of being sexually controlled. Personally, I believe it is one of those activities that a man fantasizes about UNTIL he's actually in a state of chastity. Then, it probably sucks, a lot. But it should be easy to see why it would fuel such fantasies as not having a choice of when you can ejaculate, or even how much you can achieve an orgasm, all at the personal pleasure of a woman who laughs uncontrollably as she maintains such control over you in that way. For others, it may be all about the ultimate pay off at the end. You're not allowed to cum, achieve much of an erection, which probably causes all sorts of pain and discomfort, but when you finally ARE able to achieve that one moment, AT HER DISCRETION, I can imagine it being a HUGE moment and quite possibly worth the entire forced wait.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 11:07:08 AM

thetammyjo

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From what I've been told and read a bit some folks believe that denying sex and orgasms takes the focus off of sex and orgasm or off the person (sub/slave) who must abstain until given permission.

Personally I see huge flaws in this argument. Generally it has been my experience that when we are denied something, that something becomes bigger and more important in our fantasies and or life OR we lose interest all together in what we were denied.

I have no desire for either of those outcomes with my slaves.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 11:09:13 AM

RumpusParable

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Well, for many like myself, BDSM is not all or completely about creating or enjoying sex arousal. Control of sexual arousal and a necessary function of daily life (seeing the device or just knowing one is limited in how they may touch a part of their own body, such as when urinating) is the fun of chastity for me as a top, being able to dictate the whens and wheres and hows of interaction with themselves is satisfying.

As a bottom, for me a chastity device is about a symbolic owning. My sexuality is one of, if not the, most important and driving portions of my day to day personality. To have a symbol of control in place, I enjoy a device.. prohibitions alone do zero for me, is a playful, stylish example of my top's presence in my life.

It's control handed over of a part of the body we are taught from early childhood is our "private parts", only to be used and touched as the owner says ideally... to have that handed over to me or from me to someone I trust gives a strong emotional feel of trust, control and being controlled.

For me, it's less about sex and more about emotional ties.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 11:12:14 AM

LadyMarmalade1

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at first I wasn't keen on it but my sub was, so I thought we could at least try it. Just because he is wearing a chastity device it doesn't mean that we cant have "sexual" activity. In fact, he gets more turned on when he's in his CB3000.

In general, it is nice to be using when I'm not interested in using him by having sex, for example he is doing chores around the house, and I might say something to him that could turn him on, but right away he will feel the CB, and be reminded that he's powerless in this situation.

Also it's nice to have when we go out in a non-Ds situation, ie, visiting friends and family, everytime he moves and feels it, he's reminded who he is, without me having to say a word (even tho coca tells me that after a while he doesn't even feel the CB), and especially when he uses the bathroom and sees it!!!

I don't like to use it all the time (at least not yet) and for the most part we've used it more for fun than for punishment or discipline, but I can see us using it more in the future.

If you're into orgasm denial, it's perfect, if you just want to play with it and have fun, it's also nice.

Lady M

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/25/2007 12:02:10 PM

MasterGremlin

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For some P/people, not being able to have/do something makes it more desireable. For example, lets say you spend X many hours at home and enjoy doing so doing chores, hobbies what ever. Your car is in the garage and you can leave any time you want, but choose to stay home and do these things. Well, your car breaks down and you take it to the shop and the part needed to fix it won't be there for 3 days. Suddenly, you are without a car. You take a taxi home. For some reason, now instead of doing all your hobbies and chores and enjoying them as you would normally do around the house, you HAVE to go somewhere...nowhere in particular, but you HAVE to go....
Chastity works the same way. Sex is there and they can do it anytime, they don't think about it and do numerous other things. All of a sudden, they CAN'T have it and now they want it soo badly it hurts. When you finally do get the excitement is sooo great and orgasms are so incredible...
Yes, I speak from experience

although He does not use "devices" on me. He just locks up all my bobs and tells me I can't cum for X number of days or weeks or until I do something that is nearly physically impossible for me (or at least seems that way).
Cordially,
minxy

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/26/2007 6:12:38 AM

hot1

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Chastity is a big thing for me. I would love to be belted with my Owner having the only key. Is impossible to do on a female tho. I have played a bit with it, but nothing like what my deep fantasys are.

hot1

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/26/2007 8:13:17 AM

juliaoceania

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My opinion is there are few things sexier than someone I have allowed to control me telling me when I can and when I cannot orgasm.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 1/26/2007 8:24:46 AM

Trampler

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Well while Orgasm denial appeals to me, chastity devices, ehhhh. I can take or leave it. I would much rather verbally command my sub to not masturbate. heh. Also like the thought of Orgasm torture.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 2/3/2007 1:23:42 PM

subcuck4u

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While the easy "pat," answer to this topic thread would be "Don't knock it until you try it," the true reply is more than just a one line response of that type.

To the unaware, enforced chastity is not so much a physical thing, nor is it a sexual thing. It is more mental and more psychological and therefore longer lasting and more intense. Enforced chastity is what D/s is really and truly all about, the giving up complete control to ones Mistress or Master.

In my own case, i was introduced to chasity by my very last Owner; an absolutely fantastic, 30 something, micromanging Black Goddess. She kept me confined in a CB3000 chastity device for almost three months. By Her introducing chastity (As well as cuckoldry), into our D/s relationship, it put Her even more firmly in control. Instead of being selfishly focused on my own D/s desires and my own sexual pleasures, (Those were taken away from me by the CB3000), literally all of my focus became centered on pleasing Her and making sure She was completely satisfied. As i was "neutered," so to speak, and only able to be released when She so desired it, there was no other focus but on Her and Her needs.

From making sure Her trash was taken out, Her car washed and house dusted, to making sure Her pumps and boots were polished, to perfecting my oral and golden toilet skills, my micromanaging, bossy Black Goddess became even more in control. The mental, not to mention visual effect on me when She wore Her chain around Her perfect Ebony neck was more intense than any whipping or use of Her strap-on (Although those were nice too - smile), on me.

She did not have to yell, She did not have to remind, She did not have to even express displeasure because my very essence was under lock and key to Her. The only options were to comply and obey, lest i be kept in my CB3000 for longer periods of time than i was already. That, to me anyway, was the ultimate in control and domination.

If I was a good boy and made sure my Black Goddess was pleased, then, and only then, was i allowed "release," and only under Her strict, controlled supervision.

So while i enjoyed the experience of being in chastity to my bossy, Black Goddess, and while it was too bad She turned out to be a nut case and we parted ways, i would recommend enforced chastity to those that are curious about it. The orgasms i had when allowed release were even more intense than those i experienced when i was "free." i would confess even more so because they were allowed at the wish and whim of my former Black Goddess.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 2/3/2007 1:36:31 PM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hot1

Chastity is a big thing for me. I would love to be belted with my Owner having the only key. Is impossible to do on a female tho. I have played a bit with it, but nothing like what my deep fantasys are.

hot1

I am not sure why you think this is impossible for a female. I have 2 female friends who wear a belt most of the time. It seems to be a case of finding the right one and then taking it slowly and building up the time spent wearing one.

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RE: Why all the hype about chastity? - 2/13/2007 8:14:09 PM

SwitchCurious

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I have two old friends who used to joke all the time about chastity belts. Then I found altarboy's web site and showed it to them. We kidded around about it, but I noticed they seemed pretty interested. I figured I'd order one as a joke.
Well, they started at $200. Way too much for a joke. But I started reading some of the stuff on the web site and thinking about the some of the things my friend had said. I figured what the hell, and ordered one.

I was really bummed out when it came. I guess I am built kind of big, they have 5 different size rings, and even the biggest wouldn't fit. I ended up having to learn a lot more about my anatomy. It was hard to find the right combination of pieces to big big enough when I grow but small enough to hold me when I contract. A couple of times I put it away for weeks at a time.

But now I finally have it working. I've worn it for a few hours at a time. It doesn't stop me from being turned on, just the opposite. But if I get too turned on, it hurts. Really hurts.

It make my package feel gigantic, but I can't touch it. Enough to do any good anyway.

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