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Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:09:43 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

for some reason, i have a pretty big problem with talking dirty...i don't see myself as a prude...at all! lol...i enjoy sex very much so, i love being all slutty for my Master yet when it comes time to talk dirty i just close up and can't do it! it feels weird to me.... does anyone else out there have this problem? what suggestions if any can you all give me?

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~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

Post #: 1

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:14:02 PM

BlouLady

Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

Actually
I have the very same problem.And because he knows this sometimes he makes me do just because he can. I don't consider myself a prude and although I can think dirty I just really have a hard time saying it. I get embarassed and turn red. So I understand completely!!!

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 2

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:16:56 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

"I feel that It's Not what we eat that kills us,
it is what we Vommit!"

"We reap what we sow!"

Plant a good seed get a good plant~

I use to be dirty, but i know the upper part of this post very well now....

Sincerely, ant

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(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 3

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:23:12 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

For me it really depends on the context...if someones TRYING to talk dirty, just to BE nasty about it, then it makes me laugh.

But if it's just coming out harsh, natural, primal, then I can get wrapped up in the energy and into it. But then, I'm into humiliation and degradation which goes into that a lot.

What helps me is simply becoming used to the words- think about them during the day, think about what they mean to you, start interspersing them in every day language- cunt, pussy, whore, cock, bitch, any other "nasty" word or phrase that you can think of. In your mind or out loud just shove them in "I'm a total scheduling whore!" or "I have a great pussy"

I find it's a lot of fun to be able to have power over those words rather than them having power over me. I can use them exactly as I want for the effect I want.

But there's still nothing funnier than hearing a new dom try and be harsh and is having trouble himself getting the words out!

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 4

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:41:37 PM

ARoseAndAnEye

Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

The fact that it makes me feel uncomfortable is the precise reason Master will instruct me to "talk dirty". Don't get me wrong, Master lovingly refers to me as a "sailor on shore leave" at times (me thinks He has corrupted me!!!!

), but when it comes to talking dirty IN SCENE or during sex, for some reason i have a hard time with it. More specifically, i have a hard time referring to MYSELF in a "dirty" way. Degrading myself verbally to Master is humbling and enlightening; and He so enjoys seeing the discomfort in my eyes at referring to myself in such base terms. Telling Master to fu*k my FAT a$$ (oh how cute...)... is POWERFULLY difficult for me because for days i will look at my butt as HUGE! lol.

~anna

(in reply to BlouLady)

Post #: 5

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 1:49:03 PM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

yes, i get forced to do it too, and my mind just goes blank most of the time... plus, when i do say things i feel silly.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to ARoseAndAnEye)

Post #: 6

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 2:11:07 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I've had no problem talking dirty online once i got used to it, but face to face in real life is much harder for me. Fortunately Hubby doesn't ask me to. I am getting better at telling dirty jokes though. There was a time not too long ago i hardly understood most of the dirty jokes, boy have i come a long ways in the last few years.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 3/4/2005 1:59:33 PM >

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 7

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 4:17:53 PM

subcheryl

Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline

It is very difficult for me to talk dirty too, even to tell a dirty joke, other then "the pig fell in the mud" type jokes if it has a dirty word in it I will translate it to a more comfortable word, for me I think it comes from childhood, and some bad memories from there, so am ever so grateful my Master doesn't ask it of me.

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 8

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 6:47:34 PM

fencerpet19

Posts: 169
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline

I have trouble talking dirty too.... but I find the problem to be the way in which I say things. I mean, I tend to have a pretty corrupt mind, and can basically turn any everyday phrase into something sex-related... but when it comes to actually saying these phrases and meaning it, it comes out sounding not very believable. But I think hearing others say stuff (like in porn or music) has helped a lot, and I'm gradually getting more and more used to it.
~FP

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 9

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 8:05:52 PM

teachmetobeg

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline

i never had a problem "talking dirty" with my friends. i simply would joke with them. i, however, can not bring myself to say such things in front of Sir. i often will use another word instead of the one most used. Instead of using the "C" word i will call it a womb. Still makes me squirm, but helps me to deal.

(in reply to fencerpet19)

Post #: 10

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/3/2005 8:11:53 PM

Dieplztks

Posts: 22
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

My Master likes it when I talk dirty, but like the majority of you here, it's hard for me. I get all shy, blush, and cant say what He wants me to. He's teaching/training me to say these words though. When He says them, they turn me on, but it's just hard for me to get used to saying them. What he's doing is effective though. For example, whenever I say penis instead of cock or vagina instead of pussy, I get a few hard smacks on my bottom from it.

It'll slowly get easier for me to say those things, because I know that He likes it and I want to make Him happy and pleased with me.

(in reply to fencerpet19)

Post #: 11

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/4/2005 3:40:53 AM

chainedgirl

Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

Talking dirty used to be a huge problem with me because i didn't feel comfortable being sexy. i didn't feel comfortable with sex as a whole. i've over come that now. i have this slutty, whore within who i enjoy letting loose once in a while. i love being made to go into tramp mode, i get such a buzz out of it, i can see what a turn on it is for men in general, and Master of course, and then i get turned on and feel really sex because _i'm making them turned on_.

What i found to help was having to refer to body bits in as crude a term as possible. Being told i can only ever say c0ck, c*nt, arse or tits when i wanted to refer to these, helped me to become quite comfortable with dirty talk.

i think its because of the nice girl thing we grew up with. But i haven't been a nice girl for a very long time. i went through some sex slave training a few years ago, and it kinda corrupted me to the point where i don't think about how i look or if its 'nice' or right or wrong. i think about is this what i was asked to do, is this a turn on for Master. That's all that matters to me.

(in reply to Dieplztks)

Post #: 12

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/4/2005 6:58:12 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

i'm surprised to see so many with the same problem! i thought i was the only one in this lifestyle that had a problem with talking dirty....it's not that i have a problem saying the words...more like i feel it doesn't come out right, i blank out many times and just honestly can't think of what to say, plus i get embarressed sometimes and monitor each word too much.
i was brought up thinking that sex was " bad" & dirty, as most here i imagine....it took me a pretty long time to realize that bad and dirty is a good thing! lol

someone said here that it was like they felt the words sounded fake when they talked dirty, that happens to me too, i feel stupid about it cause i analyze what i am saying and how i say it and then i start thinking too much about it, i am so overly critical of myself sometimes that i tell myself, oh no that came out terrible! yeah, i am nuts...lol. *shrugs*

Another thing, i just don't know what to say at times, i mean besides f*ck me...and oooh my c*nt is so wet! or whatever.... what else do ya say? specially when you are with a dom, i mean, with vanilla sex you can just be like, oooh come on, f*** me! harder! whatever....but with a dom don't you use a different tone, or words..?

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_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/4/2005 2:03:29 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

When i first started on this journey i had an online dom for 2 years. One of his requirements was that whenever he went to make coffee or went out for a smoke, i was to leave him a message using very dirty language. It was very hard for me at first, i had no idea what to say. By the end of the two years i had no problem with it. However i certainly would have trouble saying the same things to his or anyone elses face in real life.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 14

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/4/2005 10:05:03 PM

chainedgirl

Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir
Another thing, i just don't know what to say at times, i mean besides f*ck me...and oooh my c*nt is so wet! or whatever.... what else do ya say? specially when you are with a dom, i mean, with vanilla sex you can just be like, oooh come on, f*** me! harder! whatever....but with a dom don't you use a different tone, or words..?[/color]

There really is no difference. He may be your Dom, but He is also a man. i doubt very much there is a special tone, only sound like you *really* want what you are asking for. i guess with vanilla men, sound confident. For many of them, if they think you aren't really enjoying what you are saying/doing its a turn off. But for a Dom its the opposite. Knowing you aren't really enjoying but are choosing to still do it to please Them is the turn on.

What to say? 'i'm so horny right now', ' please Sir/Master, i need to be fucked right now, oh please', 'Master, i want to feel Your hard, hot cock in my mouth right now, i want to taste Your juices, to have You inside me', you get the idea.

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 15

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/5/2005 4:24:59 AM

Borek

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Montreal
Status: offline

I don't have a problem with this, but I think it is more easy for a man to talk dirty than a woman, it's our nature... I think.
I don't know if I can give some advices about this, but what I think is "just play the game" if it's not in your nature to talk dirty, try to do it as a game "role play" ... just my two cents.

_____________________________

Borek

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/5/2005 4:16:48 PM

numpty

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/4/2005
Status: offline

I'm with Bloulady. I REALLY enjoy a sub who You can do almost anything to sexually but who gets embarrassed about talking dirty. I will use making her talk dirty as a punishment.

For example, I had a sub of mine stand in an elevator of a hotel for 10 minutes and tell all of the guests who came into the elevator everything I had done to the sub in the last hour.

She told me that it was the most degrading thing she had ever been made to do, and as a result it made her INCREDIBLY horny!

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 17

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/5/2005 5:59:27 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

The problem with the words is that you're seeing them as a big deal. They are not and saying them doesn't make you bad, dirty or rude, as long as it is in the proper context. (Don't blurt them out at work, church or PTA meetings. *grins*) In the proper context, after you get over feeling silly for using them, they can be quite erotic. Repetition is the key. Once you get used to using those words, they lose their power. They become just words.

Think about this.. you're willing to be butt up with an enema plug shoved home while he watches, but you're made uncomfortable by telling him your pussy tingles in anticipation of what he is going to do to you? Let go of this useless embarrassment. Make up a list of the words that embarrass you most: cunt, fuck, slash, gash, cunny, penis, vagina, pussy, cock, tits, boobs, ass, whore, slut, blow job.. LOL, I'm having trouble thinking of what is considered embarrassing any longer. It has been a while since I've been inhibited in speech with an intimate. After you have your list, look at it and think why each offends you. Why would it embarrass you to say it? I agree that cunt doesn't have much place, but there are times when saying "you've made my cunt so hot and wet that I need you to fuck it" will put your man in orbit. Next ask your man to write a list of a few words that would turn him on if you said them. If they're not on your list, great! You just have to get over the small hump of not being used to saying them. If they are on your list, you may need to do a bit of desensitization on yourself to feel comfortable using them. Try saying them in your mind as you sit at every stop sign or stop light. You could also tie it to saying it in your mind five times every time you walk through a door. Once you get over the idea that the word has some magical power, you'll just have to get over being unused to using it.

Now, keep in mind that I am not in favor of casual profanity. If you've followed my posts, you'll see that I rarely use them. That is also true in my daily speech. They are words to be used as emphasis or for a purpose. I am free with them in bed or in a scene. That is a proper place for them and they are used to great effect.

http://www.allsexguide.com/dirty_talk.htm has some tips for bringing erotic talk back under your power.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 18

RE: Dirty Talk - 3/6/2005 8:53:04 AM

pyrophile

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

OH! i'm so glad to have stumbled across this thread... my master says things like "tell me how you're feeling" and "i can't hear you"... not that i have a problem vocalizing--- but in the form of yelps and ecstatic moaning! i can never think of anything to say, and when i do say it, i feel ridiculous.. which i guess is the whole point... hmmm!

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 19

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