Do Mistresses prefer a challenge?

Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (Full Version)

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bludemonn -> Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:23:09 PM)
OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance?

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:29:53 PM)
*My preference would be one with a personality, intelligence, masculinity and common sense... damn, maybe that's why I have such difficulty, huh? Any way... no, not a challenge.* *Jewel*

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:39:53 PM)
You'll get split opinions about this. Personally, I prefer one who already wants, and is willing, to serve obediently. I tend to see the others as immature in their self development, be that true or not. Either they want to serve or they don't. Master Fire

dicipline2 -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:40:49 PM)
It has been my expierence that most dominant women absolutely adore a man who is ready to surrender to them. Not one that they have to physically beat into submission. Actually, I've discovered that is a major turn off for most Dommes. Stong men who simply cannot help but kneel before a woman is what alot of Dommes like. they dont want a sissy. Remember, Strength is all about perspective. When a Domme sees that a man is willing to surrender to them and do as they wish, they view that as true strength. Not how much of a fight you can put up as that implies that you do not truly desire to submit.

bludemonn -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:40:51 PM)
I think also so many Dommes really mistake a sub as a life partner, perhaps expecting way too much? I have a weakness to be dominated but will confess I am no weak slave and yes I do need controlling I expect that is why I love such characters like Emma Peel from The Avengers!

thetammyjo -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:49:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bludemonn OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance? Those aren't really the two choices. I prefer someone who wants to be of service and who wants to submit. Just like I want students who want to learn. Unlike with my students whom I'm paid to try and teach though, I can and do dismiss someone who refuses to learn or to try during training. Sorry, I get enough headaches like that in my mundane life and I get paid for those headaches. A person who submits and serves isn't "whipped" or weak or anything else close to that. They get pleasure from helping others and from submitting. It takes great strength to admit that and follow that path, especially if you are male in a dying patriarchy.

bludemonn -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:53:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo quote: ORIGINAL: bludemonn OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance? Those aren't really the two choices. I prefer someone who wants to be of service and who wants to submit. Just like I want students who want to learn. Unlike with my students whom I'm paid to try and teach though, I can and do dismiss someone who refuses to learn or to try during training. Sorry, I get enough headaches like that in my mundane life and I get paid for those headaches. A person who submits and serves isn't "whipped" or weak or anything else close to that. They get pleasure from helping others and from submitting. It takes great strength to admit that and follow that path, especially if you are male in a dying patriarchy. Ofcourse TammyJo, Point taken but I have come accross two distinct types of Dominant personality, those who like to set the scene and have a sub know their place and serve and those who detest an already submissive slave, the prefer the little struggle before finally taking their sub into submission.

GirlWithInk -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:56:16 PM)
I think that's a rather complex question, actually. I'm going to go with what I think you meant, but I suspect I may have either misunderstood your intent or that my answer won't be quite aimed where you were looking. I adore a slave who challenges me, in the bedroom and out of it. If a pet of mine doesn't have any initiative, any imagination, any spirit, there's something seriously wrong and it's time to stop playing, give them a hug, and find out what's wrong. I like to feel someone squirming underneath me, I love to hear someone pleading with me to stop, I simply adore watching one of my boys struggling against the ropes I've tied, seeing if he can find a way to pull free long enough for me to pounce him and bind him even tighter. I enjoy verbal give-and-take, a pet with a sense of humor and a wicked tongue will get far more from me than a pet who seems to have mistaken himself for a doormat. That said, when I give a direct order, I expect obedience and am disappointed if it is not given. I wouldn't want a slave with whom I had to fight every time I gave a command, every time I just wanted to snuggle for a moment even. There is definitely such a thing as the thrill of the chase, the joy of the hunt, and don't get me wrong, I would not be satisfied without it. It's not what should define my property, though. It's... hmm. Picture a little dauchund puppy, playing tug-of-war with their Owner using a favorite chewtoy. The puppy's fighting, yes? But it's all in fun, and they both know that. The moment the Owner says "Sit! Stay!" the fighting stops, the toy is surrendered, and the puppy is waiting, wide-eyed and attentive, for the next command. That's what I prefer, a pet who knows when it's ok to tussle and struggle a bit, and when it's NOT ok. Too much of either side of that and it stops being fun, the key is the balance, the underlying obedience that makes it ok to really run with the momentary challenge.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 2:56:44 PM)
hmmm....I'll say it depends on my mood. If I feel like being challenged and breaking him down yes I would like a little challenge. But on a day when I just want complete compliance without any crap that's what I expect. Like snowflakes-no two dommes are alike.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 3:04:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bludemonn OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance? thus far, it has been my experience, that Mistresses don't care for a challenge. after all, i'm still searching, aren't i...LOL

bludemonn -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 3:08:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GirlWithInk I think that's a rather complex question, actually. I'm going to go with what I think you meant, but I suspect I may have either misunderstood your intent or that my answer won't be quite aimed where you were looking. I adore a slave who challenges me, in the bedroom and out of it. If a pet of mine doesn't have any initiative, any imagination, any spirit, there's something seriously wrong and it's time to stop playing, give them a hug, and find out what's wrong. I like to feel someone squirming underneath me, I love to hear someone pleading with me to stop, I simply adore watching one of my boys struggling against the ropes I've tied, seeing if he can find a way to pull free long enough for me to pounce him and bind him even tighter. I enjoy verbal give-and-take, a pet with a sense of humor and a wicked tongue will get far more from me than a pet who seems to have mistaken himself for a doormat. That said, when I give a direct order, I expect obedience and am disappointed if it is not given. I wouldn't want a slave with whom I had to fight every time I gave a command, every time I just wanted to snuggle for a moment even. There is definitely such a thing as the thrill of the chase, the joy of the hunt, and don't get me wrong, I would not be satisfied without it. It's not what should define my property, though. It's... hmm. Picture a little dauchund puppy, playing tug-of-war with their Owner using a favorite chewtoy. The puppy's fighting, yes? But it's all in fun, and they both know that. The moment the Owner says "Sit! Stay!" the fighting stops, the toy is surrendered, and the puppy is waiting, wide-eyed and attentive, for the next command. That's what I prefer, a pet who knows when it's ok to tussle and struggle a bit, and when it's NOT ok. Too much of either side of that and it stops being fun, the key is the balance, the underlying obedience that makes it ok to really run with the momentary challenge. Very well put, I respect that ground rules need to be established you can't just 'dominate' the person walking down the street but I do find the thrill of the chase as you put it and the capture something wonderful to be shared by both participants, also knowing when you desire a hug or a tender moment is something that the 'prey' ought to figure out too.

LotusSong -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 3:56:13 PM)
For me, it's either, "obey or be gone" Male subs are not "whipped" males as you assume any more than fem subs are "peter-whipped" into submission.My male is a 20 year career military officer. He learned discipline, control and manners over that time. Does the military whip the males into submission or do they TEACH them in behaviors that will be beneficial to them and get the results they wish. I enjoy teaching. A man comes to a woman with assumptions about her. They have had to learn "by guess and by gosh". A dominant woman will share what she is about, if she likes him as a person and he is willing to take instruction, he will learn multitudes. No, the concept of a "worm boy" just turns my stomach.. When someone approaches me to tell me how "unworthy" they are, I'll agree with them and pass them by. If they want to play "make me" games..that bores me to death.

LadyIce -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 4:11:22 PM)
Hell no, the only "challenge" I need is thinking new wicked things up to do.

bludemonn -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 4:14:25 PM)
Some very interesting perspectives on this thread... I fully understand all views and angles and would wholeheartedly agree that whilst any sub role would ofcourse need to understand his/her place, the spark of the fight or the thrill of the chase is a means to a breathtaking and more importanly a longer standing relationship, i'm sure thats the case in an everyday loving/ sexual relationship where two people have a natural struggle for attention and thus prolongs the adventure.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 4:15:21 PM)
I enjoy a challenging submissive who wants to submit but needs to be lead there sometimes. I do NOT like someone who challenges me to break them, and tels me from the getgo that they will be disobedient and willful and cause problems. The ones who need to be broken arent challenges, they are more work than they are worth. My opinion, of course DV

bludemonn -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 6:36:02 PM)
I suppose as every sub is a complex little thing so is the dominant who takes charge, many male submissive in general are successful in their own right, in everyday life they would never allow themselves to be outdone in Business but crave release at the hands of a Mistress/Master I would say it was the same for the female sub although i'm not sure. I do know from a fetishistic subs point of view there is most definately a craving to be 'made' or 'told' to be subservient, when I see a photograph of a leather clad Mistress proudly with her boot upon her slaves ass it does rouse the feelings of complete submission as if she is proud that she conquered him.

cloudboy -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 6:42:05 PM)
How exactly are you searching?

freakgoddess -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 7:25:49 PM)
I'm very impatient with submissives who put up alot of resistance/argument before I've even had a chance to get to know them or establish any kind of relationship. Life is challenging enough without dealing with someone who will make everything even more difficult. I've had guys tell me they're trying to make things more interesting this way, but they often succeed at doing the opposite.

MistressDolly -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 7:30:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bludemonn OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance? "Difficult slave" - There's no such thing as a 'difficult' slave, least not in my world. As far as sassy bottoms or bratty submissives are concerned, I have no desire for them. They may fill a need for some dominants, but not for me.

MzMia -> RE: Do Mistresses prefer a challenge? (1/25/2007 7:37:43 PM)
I have MORE than enough challenges in REAL life. I don't need or seek challenges in a submissive. Be real. I don't need or seek more drama in a submissive. No way.

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