dont judge a book by it's cover

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leahh -> dont judge a book by it's cover (1/25/2007 5:50:50 PM)
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

mymasterssub69 -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/25/2007 6:01:27 PM)
thank you for the inspirational post

leahh -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/25/2007 6:05:08 PM)
*~smiles~ your welcome , i think sometimes we need a reminder*

MizSuz -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/25/2007 8:30:21 PM)
Snopes says this is bogus. http://www.snopes.com/glurge/teddy.asp Actually it's a variant of a piece of fiction. An exerpt from the web pages states: "This work of fiction was penned by Elizabeth Silance Ballard in 1976 and published that year in Home Life magazine. The author's intent was far from unclear, as the piece was clearly marked as fiction and was presented as such, not as an account of a personal experience." It's a heart warmer, but it's fiction (and probably copy written somewhere, although perhaps not in this exact form).

SirKenin -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 2:22:55 AM)
I guess I have said it before, but I will repeat myself. People need to pay more attention to Snopes before forwarding shit mail. It gets a little ridiculous after a while and it wastes resources on email and bbs servers the world over for nothing. Snopes is your friend. Spam in any of it's many variants is not.

SusanofO -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 2:54:25 AM)
Oh gosh this made me cry. I know so many kids like this. There are some people who are teachers who should never have become teachers (my own Kindergarten teacher, Miss Morton, comes to mind here - she was one scary lady). Some people seem born to teach, and some really are motivated by their students. My mother was an elementary school teacher. And the administration where she taught always asked the teachers to look at the kids' supposed IQ scores before the year began. My mother never did it - she said it would affect the way she taught them - and was afraid that kids pick up whether someone thinks they are bright or not, and that knowing would help her cater to some preconceived "self-fulfilling prophecy stuff", and possibly de-motivate some kids. But - sometimes, after a few months would go by, out of curiosity - she'd look at some of the kids' test scores. Sometimes, this amazed her, and some scores she just thought were probably flat-out wrong. She got kids to read who had no previous interest in reading (or spelling or writing, or much else). Her ex-students would phone her, years later, just to say "hi". She was an amazingly good teacher (she taught second and fifth grades, and also music). Several of them remarked she made them love to read. And there are also people (I think) who will never be teachers in a classroom, who just don't realize what a difference they can make in a child's life, just with a kind few words, or by showing an interest in what is happening in their lives. People can make an amazing difference with just small things they do for kids, sometimes (I think). I see them all the time, at the places where I volunteer. Children have amazing memories, and soak up experiences (for better or worse) like a sponge, I think. For the past three years, there have been these three Hispanic kids, who live about 6 blocks from me, whose parents both work long hours, who at first were attracted to my dogs (they are friendly, sweet dogs), and when I walked them around the neighborhood, they'd be on their way home from school, and they'd ask me if they could pet them, etc. I said of course (they don't bite and are very gentle, and love kids, and attention from almost anyone else). Then one day they followed me home all the way, and the little six-year-old girl (Rosa) said: "Do you ever make cookies? My mom used to, but now she works all the time". I said: "I make cookies, but did your mother ever tell you to not go in a stranger's house without knowing them?" - I said she could come in (and her two brothers) if they promised me they'd call their mom from my phone when they were inside (this was before I had a cell phone. I also explained that going inside first would normally not be the wise thing to do). They called their mom, and I let her know who I was, gave her my name and address and phone, and asked her if I could give them some cookies I just made that day. She said fine. It was a short conversation - she seemed not all that interested in who I was (maybe she was having a stressful day). These three kids have been stopping at my house now for over three years, at least once a week (sometimes 2-3 times a week), to pet my dogs, and eat my cookies, and other snacks, and drink soda-pop. I've taught them how to play Backgammon, Monopoly, and helped them with their homework, too. They tell me everything: How much their mom and dad fight, that their eldest brother is in juvenile detention (again), and how much they like my cookies, how they like some teachers and some are mean or don't listen to them, etc. They can keep coming and visiting me until they graduate from college and-or get married, for all I care. Apparently, they need some attention. I don't think it has anything to do with working moms (or dads) - I think it might have something to do with listening to your kids, though - and paying some attention to them. But - the above are "everday, normal" kids (really. I've met their parents, and they are what I tend to think of as average parents. I don't see them as "abusive" or neglectful". They are just busy, and they have to work a lot. But, I am not living in their house - who knows, really? Maybe I will die, and it will be revealed there was a lot more happening than I ever suspected - and I was "filling some gap" in their lives that made some crucial diffference. Then again, maybe not (maybe they just like my cookies). I've also enjoyed talking with them - they are sweet kids. But I see the opposite end of the spectrum each week as well - I see so much the real result of abuse and neglect where I volunteer at the children's shelter. I sometimes cannot fathom how a child can become so emotionally unglued and damaged by the time they are, say, five years old. Then I read their paperwork and their history - and it all becomes way too clear for even me to stomach, sometimes. I simply cannot fathom why some people ever have children in the first place - you would not believe what some people actually do to little tiny children. It can be horrifying. I woud be just fine with the concept of licensing parents. I've seen enough to last me two life-times, as far as the results of neglect and abuse of children. - Susan

julietsierra -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 3:02:38 AM)
WOW... And have you heard the one about the starfish? A man was walking down the beach one morning after a storm the night before. All along the beach were strewn starfish who'd been washed up on shore. As the man walked, he'd pause, pick up a starfish and sling it back into the sea. He did this over and over again. Someone came along and asked him what he was doing. He told them that the starfish had been washed up on shore and he was trying to get them back into the ocean so that they would live. The other person was incredulous. "Why! There are thousands! You can't save them ALL! Besides, they're starfish, who cares what happens to starfish?" The man picked up another starfish and as he was throwing it into the sea, stopped a moment, showed the other person the starfish and said "It matters to THIS starfish - and while I can't save them all, I can save THIS one." and threw it back into the water. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Invariably, I hear the Tommy story or the starfish story every single year. Whether Snopes says it's real or not, isn't really the point. The real message of Tommy and the starfish is that no one is useless, no one is undeserving of being given an opportunity - even if it seems that the opportunity is just more than others are getting or should hope to get. It doesn't really matter if Tommy was a figment of someone's imagination or really did become a doctor, teacher, lawyer or dishwasher for that matter. What matters is that Tommy had value, and that without even realizing it, someone made a difference in Tommy's life.The message is that even when we don't realize it, we are making differences every single day and the question is, what kind of a difference do you want to make? Even if Tommy doesn't exist, thousands like Tommy do. Most people are far too quick to make snap judgments about the Tommys in this world and write them off as being inconsequential or not worth their time and effort. And Tommy, like the starfish, may be just one person, but what happens to them matters - even if only to them. And THAT is the message of Tommy and the starfish. I live with a "Tommy." She will live out most of her life after I'm gone being seen as someone with little value. She'll never work as a lawyer, doctor, teacher or anything like that. She will be the person that most people don't want to see, and if they do see her, they will talk to her in condescending tones as if she's a complete idiot. No one will see her married, in love, living her life to its fullest - except for her family and those who few people who have come to see her value. But those outside of her family who do see her value are generally starfish tossers themselves. They believe in the value of each person - even when value is difficult to find. My Tommy faces the prospect of alzheimers before the age of 40. I face the fear of either having her one day not recognize me, burying her before me, or even worse, worrying what will happen to her when they bury me. Her brothers face a life once I'm gone of far more responsibilities than other men their age simply because they will be responsible for her. Already, one son is changing his life's plans so that instead of doing what he dreams of in his life, he'll be near her. I hate that he's doing this and have encouraged him to follow his dreams. He says that his sister is more important. Her other brother thinks the same thing. I hate that they have to do this. I love that they do. I just wish this world were more accepting and that starfish tossers were the norm instead of what I usually see out there. juliet

calamitysandra -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 3:07:48 AM)
FR This might be bogus, but it holds much truth, nonetheless. There are Teddys all over the world. And yes, sometimes we can use a little reminder. Thanks

bandit25 -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 3:08:58 AM)
I agree juliet. Oftentimes what's important is not the story itself or whether it is true, but the message behind the story.

SusanofO -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 3:15:01 AM)
Yes, I agree julietsierra - very much. I am so glad you have kids with such a generous spirit. I think that is so important - you sound like a great mother. I have a sister who really pushes my nephew to achieve at school (he is very bright). One day he asked me why I liked him (I am always telling him he is my "favorite nephew", which is a little joke between us, because he is actually my only nephew, he). I said: "Because you're a nice person, and you are good to other kids. That means more than any A plus you get on your math quiz. Of course, I am kind of weird that way. But it's what I've always admired about you. That, and your sense of humor." He smiled (he seemed appreciative that someone else admired other things about him, besides the kind of grades he could get, which made me a little sad, actually). Then I said: "You are so creative, too - who else would think, in second grade, to write book reports on cook-books?" (which he did do - my sister got mad at him for it, because they were "easy books" - but he really likes to cook, and is very creative. He could be the next Emeril LaGasse, for all she knows. He makes better Chili than I do, and he is now only fifteen). My sister shot me a surprised, kind of nasty look, after I said that. But I think it is, actually, more important (much more. I also think she pushes him way too hard, and he is also an only child, and should get to relax and be a kid more often, not just some person who thinks he's got these perfect standards to fulfill for someone else). - Susan

leahh -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 3:54:47 AM)
*i was going to apologise for putting this post up after post's 4 and 5 but i wont because i am not sorry and i do not care if the story is real or not ,* *It is the moral and Meaning behind the story and if i could mak just one person think or change because of this story then it has served it's purpose.* *leah*

SusanofO -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 4:05:00 AM)
leahh: Oh gosh, people post all kinds of stuff on these boards, and everyone has their own opinion on it. Don't worry about it. I like those kinds of little stories. For the same reason you posted it. Inspiration is always a good thing, I think. Feeds the soul. - Susan

SirKenin -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 4:06:57 AM)
Well, I think the message is pretty clear. a) Try posting true stories, not email spam. The same message can be portrayed by truth rather than fiction posing as truth to see how far someone's spam can make it around the world. You might think it is only one small innocent letter, but millions of these circulate the web every day, clogging up valuable resources on an already overburdened internet. b) Do not post copyrighted material, as you can get the owners of this BBS in serious hot water by doing so.

NorthernGent -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 4:08:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leahh *i was going to apologise for putting this post up after post's 4 and 5 but i wont because i am not sorry and i do not care if the story is real or not ,* *It is the moral and Meaning behind the story and if i could mak just one person think or change because of this story then it has served it's purpose.* *leah* If people have a problem with your posts they have the option not to read them. I don't see any need to apologise. Your posts are your concern.

MizSuz -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 7:38:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leahh *i was going to apologise for putting this post up after post's 4 and 5 but i wont because i am not sorry and i do not care if the story is real or not ,* *It is the moral and Meaning behind the story and if i could mak just one person think or change because of this story then it has served it's purpose.* *leah* leah, To my mind you have no reason to apologize. As I said, it's a heart warming story. Even though it's a heart warming story, I always try to search the veracity of these things before I pass them along so that I can either edit the bogus stuff out of the story (usually at the end where people add their won crap like "he's a real doctor at such and such" or "pass this to X number of people within three seconds and you'll win the lottery on the fourth second"); because if the material is copyrighted then it's important to quote the original author both because it's just respectful to the author and because it offers some level of legal protection to the owners of the site. It's against policy here to post entire pieces of copyrighted work. Usually a brief synopsis and a link is the accepted method. I hope one of the mods will correct me if I'm wrong. It generated a nice discussion with some good, first person non-fiction stories. That's not a bad thing. It made people feel warm and fuzzy. That's not a bad thing. It is, however, important to cite your sources out of respect to the owners of the site and the author. Please don't take my posting snopes as personal - it's actually a hobby of mine to search this sort of thing out and snopes is always the first place I stop. Discounting the veracity of the story doesn't discount it's content value, to my mind. Besides, if it were originally your piece wouldn't you want the folks who enjoyed reading it to read it the way you wrote it? Even if you wouldn't care, do you think all writers feel like you? Intellectual property is very real and not giving the author credit is a form of stealing (like downloading music, movies and software). Whether that is acceptable to you is up to you, but I would be very upset if you made that choice for me. There is also validity to Kenin's argument about bandwidth and server space (someone put this on a calendar - Kenin and I are agreeing), but I leave that to the owner's of the site to determine as they are the ones who pay for storage and bandwidth. It's something worth taking into consideration before you pass things along, though. It's better to make informed choices, don't you agree?

leahh -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 7:41:07 AM)
*Sir Kenin , i will not get into a debate about this but please think everytime someome posts a quote from a book they are posting copywritten material..* *for example quote's from the Gor books or the Maquise De Sade , also the BDSM emblem posted is a breach of copywrite ,* *i think my sin if any was to make people stop and think before judging,* *if i only upset 2 people with my post (which was not my intention) then i believe i am having a good day* *i wish You well Sir* *leah.*

leahh -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 7:50:05 AM)
*MisSuz , we must have been making posts at the same time lol,* *i am as You see new to this site and although i have read the mods notes at the top of the boeards i post to maybe i missed something,* This was posted in a group i belong to and i copied it and posted it for a reason , after seeing hom many people on the boeards judge other's i think it was a timely reminder not to judge what you dont know, we are after all pixels on a screen but real people behind said screen, *i do not know if the story was fact of fiction and i cannot speak for the author but if i had wrote something like this i would be proud to hsee it all over the net as a example,* *i have never heard of snopes, not being the computer literate kind of gal ,* *if i did breach any rule of IC then i will appologise profusly and accept the mods removing my post..* *posted with respect* *leah*

leahh -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 7:55:26 AM)
*i googled and give credit to Elizabeth Silance Ballard for her fictional story* *http://www.snopes.com/glurge/teddy.asp*

MizSuz -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 8:23:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leahh *Sir Kenin , i will not get into a debate about this but please think everytime someome posts a quote from a book they are posting copywritten material..* Actually paraphrasing is allowable. You didn't paraphrase, you posted the entire piece. quote: ORIGINAL: leahh *...also the BDSM emblem posted is a breach of copywrite* There is some significant contention over the real copyright issue with the BDSM emblem. Feel free to read about others who have had a lot of experience with the person who claims to be the copyright holder and what they came to after extensive research: http://www.the-iron-gate.com/essays/1/130 quote: ORIGINAL: leahh ,*i think my sin if any was to make people stop and think before judging,* *if i only upset 2 people with my post (which was not my intention) then i believe i am having a good day* I'm not upset, I'm trying to educate you and others who would do the same and in so doing potentially compromise this site. Judgement isn't a bad thing. You used your judgement when you decided to post copyrighted material. I don't agree with your judgement but that's the beauty of open discussion, we don't have to agree. Hopefully we all use our judgement every day. Yes, some of us are more condescending than other. Some of us also are quite matter of fact and others perceive it as judgement when the originator had no such thoughts. But that would be a judgement on the part of the person who feels judged, eh? We have significant discussions in the archives regarding copyright. John Warren, a published author and member of collarme, posts the following regarding copyright law: http://www.collarchat.com/m.asp?m=254968&mpage=1&key=copyright You'll find significant discussions and debate regarding copyright law and about the bdsm emblem in a search I ran for you in our archives for the word "copyright" in the body and title of the message. Search results HERE (the url was too long to post) I also did a search of our archives for you for the word "copyright" using the author w/ wildcard "mod%" and you will find what our moderators have to say about copyrighted material HERE. Your wish to stop the madness does not negate your poor judgement. The road to hell, and all that.

spankmepink11 -> RE: dont judge a book by it's cover (1/26/2007 8:45:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin Well, I think the message is pretty clear. a) Try posting true stories, not email spam. The same message can be portrayed by truth rather than fiction posing as truth to see how far someone's spam can make it around the world. You might think it is only one small innocent letter, but millions of these circulate the web every day, clogging up valuable resources on an already overburdened internet. I'm surprised you didn't combine your 2 posts on this thread into just one post, so as not to waste valuable resources. Thank you for educating the sentimental saps who enjoy inspirational reading whether it be fact or fiction, a Tommy, a starfish, or the little girl with cancer, or the guy who sent his old history teacher a ticket to egypt to see the pyramids. We might just go running around all willy nilly trying to be good to one another, or make a difference in someones life. Or even (gasp) remembering/ackowledging someone who might have made a difference in ours. Please be sure and conserve enough valuable space tobe able keep us informed as to the waste of such. and the beat goes on.....

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