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gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 2:55:09 PM

strapped85

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My two lesbian moms have raised me since I was born. I'm a straight submissive. I've always wondered if having two moms has affected my sexual desires in any way (I'm into strap on, cross dressing, and bondage in general). Anyone out there raised by gay parents? your kinks? Any gay parents w/ deviant kids? any thoughts on the topic?

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 3:08:19 PM

ShiftedJewel

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I have a friend that was gay, she had a son and she hid her sexual orientation from him most of his life, she told him that one of her ex's (a lady much older then she) was his grandmother, another was an aunt, the rest were just "friends". When he found out that she was gay and had been denying it to him, he went on a gay bashing frenzy that landed him in jail. I'd say that because you were raised in an open and honest household is part of the reason you are the way you are. You've learned your whole life that it's not only accepted by your parents, but encouraged. You were allowed to explore your sexuality, desires and needs in a loving atmosphere. Personally, I think that's wonderful.

Jewel

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 3:22:09 PM

Voltare

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I had a very good friend who was gay. His mother was gay. His father was gay. His older sister is gay. I have a hard time thinking that homosexuality isn't at least partially genetic in nature.

Beyond that, it could possibly be related to your upbringing, but (and please don't take this the wrong way) it could be simply a symptom of your age. At 19, I knew I had 'unusual interests' but it took years to really find out for myself what they were. Today, any 12 year old with internet access can have unlimited information on every sexual activity under the sun, but knowlege (and erotica) doesn't replace experience. After a few years on your own, you might find your tastes become stronger - or completely fade away. Most of that will come as a result of your activities *now* and for the next few years. If you have a few cross dressing sessions with a Domme that go horribly wrong, leaving you feel sick and miserable, there's a good chance you won't have much interest in it anymore. Lastly, just because something is exciting as a fantasy, doesn't mean it's going to live up to your real life expectations. I had VERY strong group sex fantasies. My real life experiences never lived up to it. Today, I still enjoy the fantasy but have no plans to act them out again.

I hope this helps.

Stephan

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 6:35:46 PM

MistressFire70

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I don't think that our sexual development is affected by our parents' sexual orientation as much as it's affected by their willingness to accept us as who we are and allow us to explore ourselves. I know plenty of "deviant" people who have straight parents. However, it is usually true that an openly gay household is more tolerant of the self exploration.

And for the record, I don't think we're deviant. This is who and what we are and there are lots of people like us (estimated 10-12% of the population). My psychologist friend said something about this being well within 2 standard deviations, so it's definitely a real part of society.

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 9:11:34 PM

MadameDahlia

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I'm bisexual. Both of my parents are straight.

I enjoy looking at both the male and female form. My parents enjoy the appearance of the opposite gender.

They respect who I am. They don't try to change me. They don't say I'm wrong or that I'll change. They don't tell me my thoughts and feelings are part of "a phase". And for that I am thankful. Because they respect me and my choices I get along with them.

As long as your parents respect you - as long as you are content in your life - as long as you're having fun safely... does it really matter how you got where you are?

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 10:15:27 PM

oddlycurious

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Well, the research on this issue is pretty clear. Being gay or whatnot is not really a choice. Accepting it can be a function of choice, the household, etc., but that is a slightly different question. Finally, the few studies that are out there looking at gay parents and their children (often adopted - which makes for a more interesting study if one wants to question the concept of genetics) show that children of gay parents are not more often gay than children of straight parents.

I can say, however, that I know of no research on kink and genetics. I wonder if I can get a research grant to study that.

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/3/2005 11:40:17 PM

strapped85

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Yeah, the whole issue is unclear to me. I've got a brother whos 12 (we aren't biologically related but it doesn't matter) and he's very differnet from the norm- he looks like a girl, dresses ambigously (black strech pants, blooming black shirts), and is into activities that are concidered "girlish" (plays, writing, wichcraft, horseback riding). However, he views himself as a boy and has no desire to be a girl. Its still too early to tell but he thinks hes not gay either.
I think a lot of why my brother is the way he is, and why I am the way I am, may be because my parents are open and supportive of whoever we choose to be. Having 2 moms may exasterbate gender "confusion" but at the same time, by being open to a-traditional gender rolls, I think my brother and I are able be ourselves more easiely than otherwise. I know the fact that my parents love and support me is more important in my development than their sexuality.

Oh yea, about my use of the word "deviant"... I did not mean it in a negitave way. I just mean different from the "norm"... whatever that may be

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/4/2005 8:25:57 AM

MidnightWriter

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Hmmm....

My parents were both straight, I'm bi. My mother was a closet submissive who probably never thought of herself that way - I imagine she'd have done well in this community if it had been available to her. As it was, both of her husbands were bad doms, unconcerned with consent.

My kids - well, the daughter is bi and very interested in BDSM as a dominant, the son is het with no avowed interest - but I suspect that he'll find himself a very strong woman who calls the shots in their relationship when he gets that old.

As is stated elsewhere, I suspect that it's more about honesty and options being left open than about the gender and orientation of the parents. Considering how many folks here have het vanilla parents, it's tough to draw a connection genetically.

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/4/2005 9:53:31 AM

strapped85

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I'm not trying to say that homosexuality is a genetic thing- there may be some sort of link but I honesty doubt it... I know too many straight and gay people that would be considered acceptions. I agree with you: what I'm saying is there may be a link between being raised in a gay household and having different sexual tastes, simply because you would be more enclined to view a wider variety of sexualities as the "norm."

Personally, I feel like I've transcended sexual orientation. I am 100% straight but I'm naturally drawn to powerful women, much like your son may be. Its not just that I'm physically attracted to dominant women; its more that I feel like I can understand and relate to them a lot more easily than the stereotypical straight women. And its not because I feel emasculated and inferior to women... I view myself as a man and these women as my equals. I submit because I understand and am in awe of their power but I also need them to respect my own power.

I know I'm straight but I often feel like I can identify more easily with the homosexual community than straight one. I am much more comftrable around a stereotypical gay man than I am with a stereotypical straight man. Maybe its because I identify with the looser gender roles and think along the same terms. Who knows. I am glad for it though, however lost and out of place I may sometimes feel.

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/4/2005 6:02:33 PM

littlebuttercup

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strapped85

My two lesbian moms have raised me since I was born. I'm a straight submissive. I've always wondered if having two moms has affected my sexual desires in any way (I'm into strap on, cross dressing, and bondage in general). Anyone out there raised by gay parents? your kinks? Any gay parents w/ deviant kids? any thoughts on the topic?

my mom is a lesbian and came out when i was four. i'm a bisexual submissive female, somewhat androgynous. i think being raised by a dyke and being exposed to the gay community at an early age has strengthened me and made me totally accepting of different types of people and relationships. i am extremely open minded because of it. that being said, i have never come out to my mom as kinky. it seems like a very uncomfortable topic of discussion to me.

i have no idea if being raised by a lesbian contributed to me being the way i am. i just know i am very open minded.

hope that made sense. good topic.

< Message edited by littlebuttercup -- 3/4/2005 6:04:07 PM >

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RE: gay parents and sexual desire - 3/4/2005 6:21:06 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

I don't think that our sexual development is affected by our parents' sexual orientation as much as it's affected by their willingness to accept us as who we are and allow us to explore ourselves.

I agree.

I am convinced my mother is a closeted lesbian. She also hates sex.

My father obviously is a frustrated hetero man who refers to sexy women as "hot bitches" I kid you not.

I lived as a lesbian for 7 years and have come to terms with my bisexuality for the last 6. I am a nymphomaniac. I'm also a pervert.

My brother can't have sex unless he's in love.

Go figure.

- LA

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