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quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/25/2007 11:09:05 PM

imn2it

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/4/2005
Status: offline

just a qucik question. About a year ago I met this girl that liked to take it to the limits (flogging, spanking, breast torture, wax play) she was very much into all forms of inflecting pain on her. Well I really enjoyed it and have been looking for someone like her since. So is that a slave or submissie. thank you in advnace. Imn2it...

Post #: 1

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/25/2007 11:28:48 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

You are looking for a heavy SM player, submissives and slaves both can be that, or not be that.
If you're looking for someone who enjoys the pain then you are seeking a masochist again either one slave or submissive can be a masochist.

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 2

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/25/2007 11:30:45 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

one might also say bottom

Ross

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 3

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 12:06:43 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

heck, even a dominant (male or female) can be a masochist, hehehe.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 4

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 3:10:38 AM

SumterDom

Posts: 60
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

Quick answer...
Yes and No

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 5

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 3:49:22 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

That could be either or neither. she was a bottom who could take a high degree of pain, that has nothing to do with what depth of submission or how much control she needed to/was capable of giving over to her Master.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SumterDom)

Post #: 6

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 3:52:18 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Yup, they've got it right. She could be all or none.

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 7

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 7:46:41 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

You are looking for a heavy SM player, submissives and slaves both can be that, or not be that.
If you're looking for someone who enjoys the pain then you are seeking a masochist again either one slave or submissive can be a masochist.

So can a Dominant or Master. What we do does not necessarily defien who we are. SM has nothing to do with relationship dynamics. Yes, often subs/slaves are the masos, but they don't HAVE to be.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 8

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 8:00:15 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

she was very much into all forms of inflecting pain on her

That means she's maso. Not necessarily slave/sub

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 9

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 8:09:01 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I agree, I think that there are a good set of Dominatrixes that are into pain for their own sake, but not at all into reversing the role they accept in life. I have visited with some of them---- (maybe Doms too, who knows?)

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 10:01:46 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

In very simple terms..
A submissive is one who likes things done to them,
A Dom is one who likes to DO those things to another.
A Master is a Dom who has a slave.
A submissive has the right of "no" the right of a safeword and the rights to decide for themselves.
A slave (due to a huge trust level) has no safeword with their Master, They do not wish to have the ability to "choose". Just because one is a slave to a Master does NOT mean they are a slave to anyone.
This does not mean it has to be even physical or in a BDSM scense at all, It can be Physical but also can be totally an emotional bond.
Just because someone identifys themself as a slave does not mean they are stupid,weak, or brainless, quite contrary most are extremely intelligent.

I asm sure if you go to the castlerealm site it might give a better definition. And in this "scene" there is no cut and dryed definition of such things but each persons definition is a little different, But that is way ok too.

Think of a Dom/sub relationship like a marrage in the 1980's and a Master/slave relationship like a marrage in the 1950's.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 11

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 4:06:25 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

I just wanted to say that "submissie" is a rather cute typo.

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 12

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 5:17:23 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

I just wanted to say that "submissie" is a rather cute typo.

Isn't it?

I kinda like it.

_____________________________

Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 13

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 5:32:49 PM

NightWindWhisper

Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline

You've told us about her physical desires, but have told us nothing about her emotional/psycic desires. In the absence of this information she is likely neither slave, nor submissive but rather as was said by SirDiscipliner69 she is, from what little you tell us, a bottom. A person who enjoys high levels of stimulation (aka "pain.)

If you post and tell us how she "relates" to you.... Does she insist upon pleasing, does she want you to make all the decisions...then we can answer this more effectively.

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 14

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 7:40:14 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

I just wanted to say that "submissie" is a rather cute typo.

Isn't it? I kinda like it.

me too! I want to be a submissie from now on...

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 15

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/26/2007 10:08:22 PM

michaels4evr

Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

I know a few folks who I would not characterize as masochistic..they do not get off on the pain..but can "take" a great deal of it for the sake of pleasing the Dominant or Top...I also know one woman who endures the pain in order to receive the bruises..she does not necessarily enjoy what is happening to her, but the after effects of such..not sure if she would qualify as a masochist either, although she is certainly prefers to be in a submissive role in her relationships...

things that make you say hmmm

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 16

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/27/2007 7:32:28 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

In very simple terms..
A submissive is one who likes things done to them,
A Dom is one who likes to DO those things to another.
A Master is a Dom who has a slave.
A submissive has the right of "no" the right of a safeword and the rights to decide for themselves.
A slave (due to a huge trust level) has no safeword with their Master, They do not wish to have the ability to "choose". Just because one is a slave to a Master does NOT mean they are a slave to anyone.

Got to disagree with the first two there.

A bottom is the reciever in BDSM sensation play
A Top is the proveder of same... the person holding the flogger/cane/whatever rather than recieving it.

That activity is ALSO enjoyed by folks on either side of the D/s Dynamic and it is TYPICAL to find sub/bottom, Dom/Top... but not obligatory because sensation play doesn't necessaraly entail submission.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 17

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/27/2007 1:01:21 PM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
....... A bottom is the reciever in BDSM sensation play
A Top is the proveder of same... the person holding the flogger/cane/whatever rather than recieving it.

That activity is ALSO enjoyed by folks on either side of the D/s Dynamic and it is TYPICAL to find sub/bottom, Dom/Top... but not obligatory because sensation play doesn't necessaraly entail submission.

Got to agree with this, the Top and Bottom role is not always the Dom and sub role. Many many Doms like to bottom but will not "submit" to another other then for the bottoming scene.

Want to comment about the statement: "A Master is a Dom who has a slave."
For many (most i know) being a Master is much different then being a Dom with a slave. it is a different aspect of a relationship.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 18

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/27/2007 8:06:46 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

I just wanted to say that "submissie" is a rather cute typo.

Isn't it? I kinda like it.

i noticed that too - cute :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 19

RE: quick qestion? slave or submissie - 1/30/2007 12:41:59 AM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Neither....... or both. It's someone into pain. Not all slaves or submissives like pain. Now, your good ole pain sluts...they like pain.

Darkside

(in reply to imn2it)

Post #: 20

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