Please leave me coments if you have any... (Full Version)

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goodlilpig -> Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 8:40:42 PM)

Hi,
First of all, I am hoping to be able to get some answers and comments for some questions which I cannot just ask relealing myself or which many people might not be able to give me honest answers if I reveal myself...? ...I don't know. Therefore, I made a secondary account here on collarme to ask those questions without any pictures or not much details about myself although I have some pictures and some details on the other account of mine which I primary use.
Sorry for this stupid complexity, but you might be able to understand my situation and thank you for your understanding.

OK... I am natually very submissive. I cannot say I am beautiful...a bit far away from beautiful, but still  I guess I have some kinda cuteness and there are many guys find me attractive looking at my pictures. However.....there is a thing about myself which I'm not showing on my picture.

I am crippled...from a traffic accident I had years ago.

I am not as good at walking as others, needing crutches outside and being a bit unstady on my feet inside without them. But I can do mostly anything.....there are not many positions I cannot take at all...rather frexible than others...
But I know my being crippled is totally a turn off....... and I have a trouble telling the fact to a dom I get interested in. Although I have told some guys about this before after making sure they are going to be totally honest with me about the confess, I guess they could not really be honest about it.....or maybe they though they can handle it first, but found out not later...I don't know.

I know I have to live with what I've gotten, but Just wondering how much turn off it can be and what do you think about having a crippled sub......just want honest comments...:)

Thank you:)






michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 8:43:32 PM)

physical abilities or disabilities have little to do with the level of submissiveness of an individual. there are some that cannot see past the physical, so they lose out on a prize they cannot see.

i hope that your search goes well.



BitaTruble -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 8:57:58 PM)

We all have to work within the limits we have, Goodlilpig. Not a one of us is perfect and those who are expecting perfection are going to be very disappointed. You have a few choices here. You can add the information to your primary profile and it's going to weed out those people who can't deal with your limitations right up front .. or you can take a bit of time to get to know someone until you feel comfortable enough with sharing the information. I wouldn't wait too long to share it though.. that's not fair to the relationship nor to you or any partner if they can't deal with it and there will be plenty who can't. It doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile people, just they know what their own limitations are as well.

Beautiful souls tend to shine and make the outsides have a whole lot less meaning in the long run so just let your beautiful self shine through and when the right dominant comes along, he'll snatch you up and make you his.. limitations, exceptional qualities and all. You're a package deal and your limits are not the be all end all of you.. don't forget that.

Celeste



bearincuffs -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 9:37:37 PM)

From what I see, any Doms who are "turned off" by you having to use crutches are plain shallow. The Dom who is perfect for you will see past that and see the inner you. As mentioned by BitaTruble, posting a picture of you with crutches will weed out the insincere Doms who will approach you. The serious ones will continue to want to get to know you better and possibly calim you as his own.
  Everyone has some form of a disability, myself included. I have a speech impediment where I stutter when I'm under stress or in a high anxiety situation, my Master considers this not important as it's what He sees in me that is important.
 
I wish you all the best in your search.



juliaoceania -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 9:45:55 PM)

I cannot imagine how it feels to hide something like this, and personally I can understand the feeling of wanting to. I do have to ask you a question, wouldn't it be a tremendously joyous feeling to be contacted by doms that knew of your medical problems, but chose to contact you anyways? You would not have to hide it, there would be no fear that you would be rejected once your limitations were out in open. I would think that it would be a relief to only talk with men that knew of your situation.

I do not think you owe it to anyone to tell them anything about yourself as long as it is on the friendship level. I do think that if the conversations start to get increasingly intimate, you need to inform people, it is only fair. Some people this would be an issue for, others it will not. Some men do not require service of you that would necessitate you being anything but what you are, others would desire someone that was extremely physically active

There are a lot of men chose not to contact me because I was "too tall" or "not thin enough" or perhaps I was "too old" for them. The particulars of why they were not attracted to me really do not matter, I just wasn't their cuppa jo. That was ok with me, I wanted the one that wanted me the way I am, not try to convince someone that had some issue about my physical self to change their mind about it.

Just my thoughts, and believe me, many would not be put off by a little walking problem... there are worse problems to have in my estimation.



adaddysgirl -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/26/2007 10:08:25 PM)

i recall a sub on here who had no legs below the knees.  She did end up finding a partner and freely wrote about it in her profile.  (i can't recall if her original profile mentioned her legs or not....and i wish i could remember her name now).  Another sub put in her profile that she only had one arm (you couldn't tell from her pic).  i don't know if she ever found a partner or not.
 
But as you can see, at least in the first example, this person did find a partner despite her disability.  So there are others out there in your boat who have found happiness.  Yes, there is someone out there for everyone.
 
Best wishes,
Daddysgirl



SirDominic -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 5:33:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodlilpig

But I know my being crippled is totally a turn off.......



How do you know it is totally a turn off? Just curious.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



Mercnbeth -> RE: Please leave me comments if you have any... (1/27/2007 7:19:51 AM)

good lil,
It is impossible to truly appreciate your perspective. We can tell you that at various lifestyle events we have met quite a few handicapped people who are active in the lifestyle. One couple in particular may be very helpful in providing the information you need from a common perspective.

Master Guardian and his slave 'sugar' are friends of ours. We met them in Vegas a few times and have seen them at Folsom Fringe. sugar is confined to a wheelchair. That hasn't stopped their participation in the lifestyle at all. In fact they won the 2005 Southwest Master/slave competition. They often give presentations within the community. sugar's handicap is a pragmatic fact. However her Master and her do not make it a focus. Google their name and you can get plenty of information.

If you'd like to contact them, this page from the SW Leather Conference has their contract information http://www.southwestleather.org/swlc.php , I'm sure they would be happy to provide you with information and resources.

You can find good people. Be honest with them and demand the same in return.

Good Luck! 



bandit25 -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 7:31:01 AM)

There's some that will not be able to deal with anything other than perfection...too bad for them. I also believe that there is someone for everyone...maybe several someones.  Just keep searching until you find that someone. 



SilverWulf -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 8:49:05 AM)

<fast reply>

There are many in the lifestyle who are dealing daily with some level of handicap.  My girl has scoliosis and has had 12 spinal surgeries, multiple fusions, and has rods and various hardware in her back.  her spine is fused solid from her neck to her hips.  she is in an incredible amount of pain alot of the time, cannot get around like most, is not flexible, etc...  Despite this, we are very happy and grounded in our relationship.  We find ways to 'play' regularly.  I have never once questioned her level of submission to Me.

I have seen quite a few girls (and guys as well) at local and national events that are on crutches or in wheelchairs.

Anyone who cannot handle your limitations does not deserve to have you.



OnlyHis -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 9:27:32 AM)

goodlilpig,   As some have already said there is a Dominant out there who would be more than happy and grateful to have you as theirs. Being submissive means many things and not only being completely mobile .  Me for instance have begun to have trouble with my knees and we think it may be the beginning of arthritis. That does not mean Master thinks any less of me.  Because there is more to what makes me who i am than just how good i walk, what i look like on the outside ( He has taught me that it matters what is inside a person), or even how much  i weigh ( i am a bbw). 

       So keep up your search, the Dominant for you is out there. Waiting for you too.  Best of luck.




Archer -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 10:41:51 AM)

The general attitude I have run across concerning this has been, OK so you find ways to serve that are within your capabilities.

Even bodily able folks have things they are not capable of sometimes. You find the ways to serve you are capable of and tat is where/ how you demonstrate your submission.

Some folks have expectations and requirements for their partners that would limit someone like you from their consideration. Most of the time it is not "turn off" but rther, I lead a life that would require my partner to be active in XYZ etc.

Cant advise you on how to handle your situaition more than this.




GrtWhiteWolf55 -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 12:21:03 PM)

Its whats inside of the submissve not what is on the outside that counts .



LaTigresse -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 12:31:16 PM)

I am going to give you an answer based upon my own life experience. Almost 20 years ago and prior to this bizarre method of getting to know people I had a very loving and passionate relationship with a person that was physically quite disfigured. They had been electrocuted many years before and had a terrible scar on the upper right side of their face and were also a double amputee. Having their legs ended just a few inched below the knee. None of this was obviously a secret and none of it had anything to do with the relationship ending. In fact it had to do with infidelity, not on my part. This person never had any trouble finding a partner.

Since that relationship I have had several relationships, each person having something that they felt was a deterrent to others finding them attractive. Even the one that was a model/actress felt it necessary to change things about herself physically to be her idea of beautiful.

My opinion is to make it immediately available information on your profile. It will quickly help weed out the people you don't want to know anyway. If someone writes a nasty e-mail, laugh and thank them. They are letting you know their value as a human being right away. In addition to them nastily informing you that you don't fit their idea of a perfect sub/slave, they are telling you they are shallow among a few other unsavoury characteristics AND giving you some very important information in your search. They are far from perfect for YOU!



Siona -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 12:56:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am going to give you an answer based upon my own life experience. Almost 20 years ago and prior to this bizarre method of getting to know people I had a very loving and passionate relationship with a person that was physically quite disfigured. They had been electrocuted many years before and had a terrible scar on the upper right side of their face and were also a double amputee. Having their legs ended just a few inched below the knee. None of this was obviously a secret and none of it had anything to do with the relationship ending. In fact it had to do with infidelity, not on my part. This person never had any trouble finding a partner.

Since that relationship I have had several relationships, each person having something that they felt was a deterrent to others finding them attractive. Even the one that was a model/actress felt it necessary to change things about herself physically to be her idea of beautiful.

My opinion is to make it immediately available information on your profile. It will quickly help weed out the people you don't want to know anyway. If someone writes a nasty e-mail, laugh and thank them. They are letting you know their value as a human being right away. In addition to them nastily informing you that you don't fit their idea of a perfect sub/slave, they are telling you they are shallow among a few other unsavoury characteristics AND giving you some very important information in your search. They are far from perfect for YOU!



Well put, LaTigresse!



dawntreader -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 7:56:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Siona

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am going to give you an answer based upon my own life experience. Almost 20 years ago and prior to this bizarre method of getting to know people I had a very loving and passionate relationship with a person that was physically quite disfigured. They had been electrocuted many years before and had a terrible scar on the upper right side of their face and were also a double amputee. Having their legs ended just a few inched below the knee. None of this was obviously a secret and none of it had anything to do with the relationship ending. In fact it had to do with infidelity, not on my part. This person never had any trouble finding a partner.

Since that relationship I have had several relationships, each person having something that they felt was a deterrent to others finding them attractive. Even the one that was a model/actress felt it necessary to change things about herself physically to be her idea of beautiful.

My opinion is to make it immediately available information on your profile. It will quickly help weed out the people you don't want to know anyway. If someone writes a nasty e-mail, laugh and thank them. They are letting you know their value as a human being right away. In addition to them nastily informing you that you don't fit their idea of a perfect sub/slave, they are telling you they are shallow among a few other unsavoury characteristics AND giving you some very important information in your search. They are far from perfect for YOU!



Well put, LaTigresse!


i agree!



all4yourplsr -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 8:05:42 PM)

I have the fact that I walk with crutches right on my profile.  I have walked with them all of my life so it is a part of who I am. Without going into specifics(I'll let you all think of these yourselves!)there are some situations where I can think of where the fact that I can crawl without any problem could be very advantageous for what ever my Domme had in store for me.  :-)



SirKenin -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 9:56:28 PM)

To be totally honest it would not be my cup of tea.  I have dealt with other ailments, such as mental illness, psoriatic arthritis and what not, but being crippled just would not work for me because I am a fast paced individual, can tend to be somewhat impatient and many of the kinks that I enjoy would be hampered by such a disability.  Even arthritis proved to be a challenge at times.

I would not hesitate to make friends with such a person, but I know that they would not fit well into my idea of a relationship dynamic.  Do not get the wrong idea, it does not make them any less of a person.  They simply would not be a good fit for me.



Mfxh -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/27/2007 11:44:05 PM)

I have a brother who lost his foot at 21.. He works .. got married... makes more money then I do...lol and no one cares about his foot. A lot of people know about it. It bother him more then anyone else, but since he tell people that he can not do certain things like ( walk backward is a problem when he carry something heavy) they know and it does not bother them.I would say that you should tell a person that you are going to be VERY friendly with as soon as possible. About a month ago I was getting friendly and going to meet a sub, just before we going to meet she told me that she is married... now that bothered me more then if she had told be the 1st time we talked. As a matter of fast that bothered me more then if she had a physical problem. Just tell the person as soon as you get friendly it is better. This way you will not be hurt if that bothers him. As everyone so far has told you it is better to be honest right from the beginning, that is what a D/s relationship is all about/



goodlilpig -> RE: Please leave me coments if you have any... (1/28/2007 7:43:36 AM)

Thank you all for leaving me comments.
I told a dom I've been talking the other night. And I found out he deactivated him pf this morning. I thought my surprise made him uncomfortable being here and I was writing him an email with an apology for not telling the fact earlier, an offer of a friendship, and asking him to stay here without worrying about me.
Bue when I was writing the email, I noticed I'd recieved an email...it was from him.
He told me that he deactivated his pf because he thought he's done for serching.
I know it's not that easy...I haven't met him yet, so I know he might change his mind after seeing me, but still I was sooo happy when I heard those words:), so I'm gonna give it a try...and if it doesn't work, I guess I'm gonna look for another with the fact on my pf then:)
Thanks again:)



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