help or bitch? (Full Version)

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IvyP -> help or bitch? (1/27/2007 3:32:31 AM)

i have thought these forums were for ppl to come to to seek help and understand, with some humor thrown in for good measure...however i have noticed that a few choice few have (for lack of better words) been using this as a means to spirt out more of a challange than answers to some posts....Comapssion? is not this a place for people with concerns to come in the first place for? and it is not enough that we as subs/slaves are usuially the ones getting preyed upon, by Dominates, now we have to worry about our own brothers and sisters? i have seen a very clear cry for help in some of these questions that are posted, and have tried to reach out as well...we are all Mature adults here (unless in diapers)!! hehee j/k hard limit there for me! *sigh*  best of days to A/all
Owned and Operated by Master Stitchripper.....slave ivy



AquaticSub -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 4:12:05 AM)


You know, I haven't been around since the start of the message boards but I really really doubt that this has ever been a place that wrapped all the good the little slaves and subs up in cotton and rocked them gently to sleep at night, all while guarding the door against the big bad "dominates".

If you specifically want a forum that protects/nurtures/supports, why are you looking here? I've never seen any claims made by CollarMe that their forums are a "safe place". Many alternate forums exists (I know for a fact that LJ has quite a few BDSM groups and some are exactly what you are describing).

While I personally have seen the community be both very uplifting to members who are going through troubled time, I have also them rip idiots to shreds. For whatever reason, it's part of the atmosphere here. It could have something to do with all the wankers who come in trolling for porn. Or could have something to do with people telling us how we should act.

Hey. Just a thought.

PS. Who the hell came up with "a dominate" anyway? Doesn't even make fuckin' sense...



twicehappy -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 4:55:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


PS. Who the hell came up with "a dominate" anyway? Doesn't even make fuckin' sense...


I really really have to think carefully before i reply to the OP but your reply states it very clearly.
 
Nobody came up with "a dominate". It is used by those who either cannot spell or who read it in a post by someone who could not spell and thought "oh...that is how you write that".
 
For everybody's benefit i shall post this yet again.
 
A dominant is what a person is. Dominate is what they do.
 
Example of how these words are used in a sentence;
 
 I want a dominant  male to dominate me.


Disclaimer: the above is the author's personal opinion and is not the opinion or policy of her owner or of the little green men that follow her around all day all day.
 
This post may or may not cite its references or sources.
 
The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is yours to draw...
 
IMPORTANT: This post is intended for the use of the individual to whom I was responding and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any whining, bitching or taking personally of this post is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social fauxpas.
 
No animals were harmed in the composition of this post, although Benji is authorized to hump your leg and piss on your carpet for taking the contents of afore mentioned post and either embracing it as personal or responding with any sentence containing the words " weal" or " twue" or any other Fuddism for that matter. 
(Mnottertail holding a written grant of exception to this rule).
 
My opinion is neither copyrighted nor trademarked; If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.

*Addendum to above disclaimer: this is not a feel good my sisters and brothers post. Nor is it a fuck you very much post. Consider it a grammar lesson if you will bearing in mind that the disclaimer in it's entirety still holds.



KatyLied -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 5:07:27 AM)

quote:

I really really doubt that this has ever been a place that wrapped all the good the little slaves and subs up in cotton and rocked them gently to sleep at night, all while guarding the door against the big bad "dominates".


Awesome visual.
[8D]

I will also echo, the first step in being taken seriously is to have a grasp of the difference between a dominant and dominate. 



Mercnbeth -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 5:34:41 AM)

this slave had a similar misconception upon arrival here as well.  since then, she has learned that, indeed, there are those who come here with questions, some even seem very desperate…especially the thinly or thickly-veiled “cry for help” ones… or they are actually inquisitive and genuinely seem to WANT diverse opinions from a variety of folks on the topic or question they present and are appreciative of input.
 
then there are folks who come to these message boards to:
*Vent, whine, or preach the one-true-way of _______________
*Engage in their humiliation fetish on either side of the slash
*Generate interest for or seek compatible potential partners
*Stroke or kick their ego
*Get attention/stir shit up
*Remind folk of spelling/grammar mistakes
*Ignore the rules of the site
 
Often under the guise of simply “asking a question” or posting a reply.  Often they aren't consciously aware of it, either.
 
We all “might” be mature adults here, but assuming we all
a) behave compassionately
b) exhibit or have the capacity for empathy or the spirit of camaraderie
c)  believe that gentle help when answering OP’s is the only way to help
is as unrealistic as assuming that CM is primarily somewhere people come with concerns or even to appreciate another’s POV.



swtnsparkling -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 5:36:55 AM)

quote:

and it is not enough that we as subs/slaves are usuially the ones getting preyed upon, by Dominates,


I am not a member of  your WE.   
You will only  be preyed upon if you allow it.
Any one who does IMO just didnt use some basic common sense- rushed in with out thought- or ignored the warning signs.

Some questions are answered seriously. Some are not, perhaps it is a way to knock some sense into some one. Make them stop and think for a moment



eyesopened -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 6:01:40 AM)

Keep in mind that we tend to read in the frame of mind we are in, not the frame of mind of the writer.  These posts can often offend if we are in a crappy mood to begin with or entertain if we are in a silly mood.  For example, those of us old enough to remember the original Saturday Night Live can hear the words, "Jane, you miserable slut" with humor because we were told that this was a comedy show.  Had we been watching Nightline and heard the same words we might feel outraged because we were told this is a serious news program.  Does this make sense?  Knowing that i can only read, not see body language, facial expressions, or know the mood of the writer, i take a lot of the posts with a grain of salt and i also know that this is the internet and not a life-altering event.



smirkingsheep -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 6:20:55 AM)

I've noticed that a lot of times the posts following the OP set the tone for the rest of the thread.  (Which you think would make sense, but isn't always the case on other forums).  If a few people get hostile about something, then the thread is usually pretty hostile.



IvyP -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 6:30:30 AM)

thank you alll for your time to answer......it means alot to me
                          Owned and Operated by Master Stitchripper....ivy
                                                                     



junecleaver -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 7:17:12 AM)

If someone comes to the forum for information without having thought about their problem, researched their discussion topic, or even used a simple google search than that tells me a good deal about the person.  The sooner you lose the habit of expecting people to spoon feed you information, the better off you are.



SimplyMichael -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 7:27:02 AM)

If you are naive enough to believe it is dominants who prey  poor submissive who are always the victim you are part of the problem.

People prey on people PERIOD.

When I read a post by a woman whining that every man she has been with has violated her boundaries I have two choices. I can verbally put my arms around her and say "poor girl, did the big bad men hurt you" OR I could ask her what the fuck patterns are driving her to pick assholes?

Once is feeding a person for a day the other is teaching them to fish. 

For me, the answer is less for the person asking it than for someone reading it.  Someone so blind to their behavior isn't ready to change but someone who is ready, who sees herself (or himself, I rail AND compliment both) in a post and is looking for what and how to grow just might come away with a better understanding of where they need to grow.



bandit25 -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 7:36:01 AM)

If you question is sincere, you'll most likely get sincere answers.  If you come to whine or cry, well, you'll get whatever answers posters feel like giving.  Someone said that there are no stupid questions...there are a LOT of stupid questions and they usually get stupid or sarcastic answers.

You (meaning the general public) don't want to get preyed upon?  Use your fucking common sense...something that I see is lacking in so very many of the submissives here and, perhaps, the doms and switches also...did I leave anyone out?



juliaoceania -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 8:13:29 AM)

Sometimes I am in the mood to be helpful, other times I am not. I like being helpful to people, but like SimplyMichael stated, sometimes being overly kind is just not helpful. It is like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound.

I usually avoid the threads about doms hurting subs unless I have something kind to say. I do not like to enable people in their search for drama either.



DeLust241 -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 8:39:08 AM)

As a person who has found myself wondering why now a days people are soo god damn judgemental??? Like come on !!! its 2007 and we are making comments on how people spell or how they write their posts. I have writen a few posts and have found that alot off people reply without thinking before hand. And in a way thats not fair, because there are so many young, new people on here like myself that are getting bullshit replies from people who are being rude or getting told that its wrong. Now think about it......how would you feel if yur sub/slave turned their backs on your because they find out that your not really being true??? Many wont understand what I mean by that but for the few who do, Keep asking questions, just remember to only take in the replies that  you feel are real and true. I have learned not listen to all of what people say on here only because I have gotten hurt from listening to someone else and not being TRUE to myself.

Thats all I have to say on this!
DeLust Collared Kitten



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 10:00:12 AM)

And luckily this site has people like Michael and me to give the big meanie answers so you all can look sweet and helpful :)



agirl -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 10:28:25 AM)

I don't often feel a desire to *help*but if someone starts a discussion about a subject, I sometimes have some thoughts about it and post them.

I know that I'd never, but never, post a *problem* here.

agirl



IvyP -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 10:37:44 AM)

great advice!!  the only thing that i am spoon fed is Masters Essence...and the only thing i need to know is how to draw it out of Sir and, to Obey!! Finally!! thanks again for all the advice!!
                        Owned and Operated by Master Stitchripper....ivy



lucreziaborgia -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 11:41:09 AM)

I was nice once. Did not work out.

Now, I am helpful in another way.

I hold up a mirror for the sociopathic ( as if it will help - they are far gone)
but to also warn the innocent : predatory behavior IS NOT ALL RIGHT. 




IvyP -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 11:47:03 AM)

having been a Chef for the past 15+ years....one tends to get sick of food anyway!
            Owned and Operated by Master Stitchripper....ivy
                                                   



darksdesire -> RE: help or bitch? (1/27/2007 12:12:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And luckily this site has people like Michael and me to give the big meanie answers so you all can look sweet and helpful :)


actually, there is a huge difference between what you and Michael do (which is say your truth without sugar coating it) and the way in which others seem  to seriously seek to wound.  There are those who go for the jugular for no other reason than they can.  



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