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babyblueeyes78 -> RE: Forced in Diapers? (5/5/2008 6:45:11 PM)
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Hi all, I'm brand new here, and am happy to have found this thread. It's nice to know there are others into ABDL here.
For me, it's not something I "got into" or was introduced to, it's something that has been with me my whole life. One of my earliest memories was playing at a friend's house, and feeling a sense of longing whenever I passed the nursery... I used to fantasize about being kidnapped, forced to wear diapers, and kept locked in a crib or nursery.
Growing up I'd experiment on occassion, using plastic bags, and kleenex for padding. When I was a young teenager I was still slim enough to squeeze into the largest size of toddler diapers, then I moved onto Goodnites, etc, until finally making the leap to full adult diapers. I always use disposables, never cloth... I love the feel of the smooth, soft padded plastic, and the crinkly sound they make... plastic panties are just not the same.
For me it's like the ultimate expression of surrender... bathroom priviledges are perhaps the most basic and fundamental right that adults have, having that taken away and controlled by another puts me into a state of absolute submission and helplessness, but at the same time I feel very safe and secure in them (well, in private anyway... public outings are another story!). It is a weird mix of conflicting sensations... helpless yet safe, humiliated yet cared for. I love being physically prevented from removing them, whether I'm tied up, put in bondage mittens, locking panties, etc. I love the desperation of badly needing to go, but not being able to take them off, no matter how much I struggle, beg, cry, and plead.
I don't really identify myself as a CD or sissy (or even really an AB... I definitely fall heavily on the DL side of things), but am happy to add those elements to play; I consider it "accessorizing" for my main fetish, and have to admit I do enjoy the humiliating aspect of being made to wear frilly pink baby clothes, suck a pacifier, etc... but without diapers as the "anchor", such activities hold no interest for me at all. I have a slowly growing collection of lockable baby gear including locking plastic panties, and have recently discovered a great new site, superdresses.com, which has lockable options for almost all their clothes. :)
I tend to go through a "binge and purge" cycle, where for a while there's nothing I want more, followed by periods of avoiding it completely and even feeling ashamed and wanting to stop doing it forever... but such attempts have proven futile and I am always drawn back to it eventually.
When growing up, I always thought I was alone, unique, until the rise of the net allowed me to learn otherwise. I kept it a closely guarded secret, telling absolutely nobody, until I was 22 and managed to work up the nerve to tell my (Domme) GF at the time, I was lucky that she was very understanding and accepting of it. Since then I've been fortunate enough to find others who were able to accept it as well.
I've never met anyone who was actually INTO it though, and have often wished I could. I read posts on here about Dommes who genuinely ENJOY forcing subs to wear diapers, and turn absolutely green with envy. ;)
You'd think there'd be more AB folk in Calgary, AB, Canada, but you'd be wrong. ;)
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