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Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 3:39:25 PM   
fritzkatt1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		My slave has just started wearing her black leather collar in public.  When asked how do you explain the significance of a collar and do you explain anything regarding the lifestyle?

How much information do you supply?

Thanks for you responses.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 3:44:29 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		In any sort of situation where the person may or may not be understanding (read: pain in the ass), I judge and act based on the person. 

I may just come out with the full and honest truth, then happily answer any questions about whatever the subject is...

... or I may give them a politely worded "None of your business"...

... or, usually, something in between along the lines of "I just like it", "It's a gift", "It goes with my outfit", etc.

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 3:47:39 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		Unless it's sporting a few D or O rings most people won't see it as anything other than fashionable jewelry. As for what to say to those that do not have the good grace to mind their own business, I have always favored the open and innocent response "what is the meaning of the choker I am wearing? why what ever do you mean?? I (or you so and so whatever) love the way it shows off my neck lines, is there some thing else this is associated with? <Mock shock or surprise is good now> But if your not the theatrical type I am sure you will know to what level you can let the inquirer in on your life.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 3:53:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Personally speaking I would never be asked to wear a blatant symbol like that in public, I would probably be disciplined for explaining it to vanilla folks, but that is because my Daddy feels it is wrong to foist our lifestyle down vanilla throats. So I would not know how to answer these questions because my attire made people ask me them.

But that is just how we do things.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:01:54 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		You know, oddly enough I have never asked anybody why they were wearing any particular thing, unless it was obviously some sort of costume or uniform that they didn't normally wear. If somebody asked me, I would say something along the lines of "Because I want to" and leave it at that.
If that doesn't satisfy them, well tough, you do not owe anybody an explanation for your fashion choices.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:02:44 PM   
fritzkatt1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		It is narrow but does have a small O ring in front and a lock in the back.  We do not feel the wearing of a collar forces our lifestyle on others.

Regards,

Bob

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:03:08 PM   
Hissltviolet


Posts: 44
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

In any sort of situation where the person may or may not be understanding (read: pain in the ass), I judge and act based on the person. 

I may just come out with the full and honest truth, then happily answer any questions about whatever the subject is...

... or I may give them a politely worded "None of your business"...

... or, usually, something in between along the lines of "I just like it", "It's a gift", "It goes with my outfit", etc.


...<smiles>...this girl wore a 'dog chain' featuring a small padlock that was expected to be worn in front...she was allowed the 'discreation' to slide the lock to the back when she was dealing with business clients...but for the most part she was expected to 'show it off'...
...she has to admit...in the beginning she would stumble all over herself when someone asked about it...and...there were a couple of times she wished she had used better instincts when she gave an answer...eventually she became experienced in 'reading' the person asking the question and adjust her response according...
 
...she agrees with RumpusParable...any and all of the above have worked just fine for this girl...and she totally enjoys it when she finds opportunity to simply state the honest truth...
 
...one thing she has found...not nearly as many people...including aquaintances...
as she had anticipated ask...and...much to her surprise...more understood it's significance than she expected...

_____________________________

ETERNALLY/INFERNALLY
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(SLRN) 876-742-285
~**~
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(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:05:10 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I remember once the three of us were coming back from a lifestyle get together.  It was the middle of the afternoon and alandra and I had on our leather collars.  We stopped at a video store to pick up a movie.  The goth behind the counter asked us "what's with the collars?"  We simply said that "it's not a fashion statement" and left it at that.  He was young and just chuckled.  He was way more outlandishly dressed than either her or I.

While it may not be the norm to see people in leather collars in the two areas that we live, it is not all that outlandish either.  So what you share just all depends on the situation.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:21:15 PM   
lovingcouple17


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		i wear a silver link collar around my neck, it is narrow and has an X charm on it.  While it looks like jewlery i never take if off.  Occassionally i have had people ask me why i never take it off and i simply tell the truth....my Husband (Dom) gave it to me as a token of our committment so i wear it all the time...however, to me, my collar means much more to me than my wedding rings :)....i've worn my leather collar out in public at times, like coming back from a play party and no one has ever asked me what it was or why...but i would simply say...because it's fun! smiles....

sebrina{L}

_____________________________

Only in a collar can a woman be free.

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:23:40 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes I ask people if they really want the answer. Other times I just tell them I like it and ask them why they chose to wear *insert something they are wearing*.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/27/2007 4:46:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

her black leather collar in public. When asked how do you explain the significance of a collar and do you explain anything regarding the lifestyle?

How much information do you supply?

Thanks for you responses.

Whatever you want.  Whether it's "I like to wear it"  "It was something special from my partner" or "I'm his owned property and this is a symbol of that commitment" depends on the person who is asking and the context.

The questions you get will also depend on how blatantly the collar is "Bondage related" versus "fashion jewelry" and what places they are worn.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_34512/mpage_1/key_collar%252Cpublic/tm.htm#34512
public display

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar%252Cpublic/tm.htm#124898
wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_334444/mpage_1/key_collar%252Cpublic/tm.htm#334444
finding the perfect public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_376322/mpage_1/key_collar%252Cpublic/tm.htm#376322
collars in public



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 5:18:21 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fritzkatt1955

It is narrow but does have a small O ring in front and a lock in the back.  We do not feel the wearing of a collar forces our lifestyle on others.

Regards,

Bob


And wearing tye-dyed clothes forces the deadhead lifestyle on others too? That's just silly Bob, one could wear a posture collar in public and it wouldn't be "forcing our lifestyle on others". Our girl wears an Eternity collar and we live in a tiny town. No one asks her what it's for or why she is wearing it, not here or anywhere else we've gone. Wearing an obvious collar in public isn't forcing anything on anyone, they either get it or they don't and most people don't care enough to even notice, let alone ask... and for those that do... I'd go with the "Do you really wanna know are you are just being nosey?" reply.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 5:25:17 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

So I would not know how to answer these questions because my attire made people ask me them.


My what a strange world we live in that our attire Makes people ask about it.  Gosh.. didn't know that it was so easy to control peoples.  And silly me here I thought.. people had a choice to ask or not ask.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 5:33:49 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

So I would not know how to answer these questions because my attire made people ask me them.


My what a strange world we live in that our attire Makes people ask about it.  Gosh.. didn't know that it was so easy to control peoples.  And silly me here I thought.. people had a choice to ask or not ask.
No kidding Knight...I could see someone asking why someone was wearing sandals when it's snowing (lol), but from what I have seen anymore, I doubt that a collar would even raise an eyebrow in most places.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 5:38:00 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

No kidding Knight...I could see someone asking why someone was wearing sandals when it's snowing (lol), but from what I have seen anymore, I doubt that a collar would even raise an eyebrow in most places.


actually up here.. not sure if wearing sandals when it was snowing would cause an eyebrow to be raised.  but maybe a giggle.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 6:02:18 AM   
unsung


Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline 		ah if one has their woolies on, i doubt there would be any reactions, barefeet sandals and snow well perhaps a smirk and onward we go off into our own worlds. lol

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 6:04:19 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

No kidding Knight...I could see someone asking why someone was wearing sandals when it's snowing (lol), but from what I have seen anymore, I doubt that a collar would even raise an eyebrow in most places.


I wore sandals home yesterday from my g/f's house. It had just snowed the day before and everything still wasn't plowed...

Course, I'd just had a pedicure and wearing my boots would have messed that all up. Cold feet or nicely polished toenails - one MUST have priorities!!

juliet

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 8:30:08 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fritzkatt1955

My slave has just started wearing her black leather collar in public.  When asked how do you explain the significance of a collar and do you explain anything regarding the lifestyle?

How much information do you supply?

Thanks for you responses.


M. Fritz-
 
however much info I have to supply, I would always avoid any 'scene' jargon or buzz words, and be as not spefic as possible. If she replied that she was a slave, most mudanes would react a lot more poorly that if she simply said  something along the lines of 'he likes me to wear it show I am his'.
 
Stay Warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 8:43:27 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Obviously if you are having her wear her black leather collar in public than discretion is not an issue regarding her status, so i would say explain it any way you or she (if she had your permission to do so) likes. 

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to fritzkatt1955)
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RE: Lifestyle Explaination - 1/28/2007 10:51:06 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		I just don't get into it. My old collar had a lock on it and sometimes ppl would ask - if they did, they probably had an idea which I did not confirm or deny. They forget. My new collar is rigid gold collar with an initial charm. As it happens the initial goes with my last name. It actually refers to my dom's handle, but no one needs to know that unless they are our lifestyle friends.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

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Profile   Post #: 20
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