RE: facing your nature

RE: facing your nature (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

teachmetobeg -> RE: facing your nature (3/16/2005 8:30:43 PM)
When i was preteen, i thought i controlled the world of men, and by golly i actually did! [:D] As i got older (about 14 or 15) i stopped likeing the guys i could easily wrap around my finger. [:'(] i would almost always do what they asked of me, but it seemed as though i was still the one with whip in hand so to speak. Probably with in the past 3 years i knew i was submissive by my actions with an unnamed vanilla boyfriend. He has since moved on (not a wise choice) and i have discovered the name for what i am! i do not think that i would ever dismiss my submissive nature, it is too much a part of me to deny.

conflicted -> RE: facing your nature (3/17/2005 5:13:39 AM)
quote: I was a total control freak, always naturally in charge, everybody afraid to challenge me...yadda, yadda, yadda. Still am, actually, with everybody else. Understand this totally [:)] If i mentioned to my 'nilla friends that i was into the D/s thing, that would automatically assume i was a Domme!!!!!! i was 34 when all the layers of toughness and pretending were peeled away from me by Someone that wanted to know and see the "real" me. It took a long time, but here i am.........almost feeling reborn! Thinking now though, the signs were there. A late bloomer....but making up for lost time [;)] n

cynthiamarie -> RE: facing your nature (3/17/2005 12:01:21 PM)
i only knew a few weeks ago, and i'm 40! There were signs, but i could never connect the dots, LOL. i was always very submissive as a child, my dad wouldn't tolerate anything else. One year when i was 6 or 7 years old, my two male cousins came to visit us from Ohio. My dad wanted to see which of the four of us could endure the most pain from Tobasco in their mouth. My sister wouldn't do it, and i thought if i could beat my two cousins, my dad would be pleased with me. (i beat them both, and they were both older than i.) Also, when my dad got tired of "them damn kids" he used to tie us up...and we stayed that way until we managed to untie ourselves (my cousin cried, and after about 1/2 an hour, my dad untied him). i think i was the only one that found this FUN, and i can't remember any other time in my life when my dad didn't seem to hate me. i used to love playing pirates too, LOL! Being Wendy walking the plank, or Tink locked up. i used to be the patient for ones who played doctor, and i used to play Jeannie (the tv show, I Dream of Jeannie). Had hot fantasies with dungeons, beatings, whips, and tragic sacrifices while i was a preteen, and dream of abductions and rapes and slavery. But...my world stayed vanilla until... An internet friend of mine told me about Ren Faires...and described sweaty, leather clad men on horseback and about ones who'd do jousting, swordfighting, or things with a whip. And i thought...i was BORN IN THE WRONG CENTURY! That was about 6 months ago. About 2-3 weeks ago, i was at a Poser 5 artists site i go to (i can't do that program, but a lot of my friends do, so one asked me to go there and i did), and something happened that made me see the light. (Seems there are a lot of Doms and subs there, LOL.) Anyway, it kept coming up that i'd make a good subbie...and i was like, what's THAT? Then one day...spanking came up. "Giving" one was...uh...stimulating, but when i was supposed to get one...!!! It never quite happened because somebody walked into the thread and busted up the mood, but...i had to go shopping afterward at Walmart, and for hours i was so uncomfortable...i spent the whole time swelled up and almost waddled like a duck. Books call this "The Plateau Stage" and it's very uncomfortable, LOL. Other BDSMers noticed that thread and PM'd me and sent me links to sites to explore this new thing. i got scared and overwhelmed at another site so somebody sent me here. Trying to understand what everything means is so...confusing, and a bit overwhelming and scary. All of a sudden, there's like a thousand issues and i have to discover my limits for each one...and i don't understand what a lot of the terms mean. i feel so far behind the rest of you that i'll never catch up, and that a lot of Doms won't like me because i'm not really into the pain...like a lot of you are. Most of the name calling would hurt my feelings! See what i mean? Also, i feel like a teenager who suddenly finds herself in posession of her first car...i want to go out and DRIVE IT NOW! It's so hard to wait for my learners permit, LOL. Luckily, i'm talking with a few Doms who are helping me through letters in my CollarMe mailbox, and through chat. i'm amazed at the intensity of my feelings when i'm on chat with a certain Dom...when He put something around my neck, and then attached a leash, and then tugged...i was literally shaking for hours. Somebody in another thread said that i was experiencing something called frenzy...so i'm so glad He lives so far away. (i think i'd have to be under sedation if i were ever in His presence.) If people had told me a month ago that this could happen, i would have called them a liar. What i'm feeling is a little bit embarrassing because i don't really know Him...it's just that the way He treats me is making me understand "To bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses" for the first time. i don't even know His name, but i love the feelings of safety, security, being anchored, and having someone i trust set standards for me to measure up to. As much at i like this, i know i'm still a baby at this and...until i know what i'm doing, i won't meet with any Doms. Right now i just feel so upside down and inside out... vulnerable and raw and awed and happy. cynthiamarie

CalliopePurple -> RE: facing your nature (3/18/2005 12:52:56 AM)
As BeachMistress pointed out, we all have to face our nature, whether we be Dom/me, sub/slave, or switch. I think accepting yourself as a switch might be harder, just like accepting being bi is harder on some levels than accepting being totally gay. I'm only 19, so I think I've come to learn this relatively early in my life compared to others here. Wouldn't have gotten interested at all if it weren't for a certain online friend of mine just after my 18th birthday. I was telling him about my habit of writing yaoi (that's male/male sexy fanfiction, anime or video game to be more technical) and he linked me to a friend's site that had erotic short stories. That site had a link to Castlerealm and I much more readily identified with the Dom section. However, there's also the small little part of me that just wants to say "fuck being in charge for the moment", so that's the extent of my subbie side. As for being bi, I've known that most of my life.

BadTouch40 -> RE: facing your nature (3/19/2005 8:31:42 PM)
Wow, so many people with similar stories but also some that are quite different. I've always felt a little "different" but didn't know why. As a child I would have competitions with my cousins and playmates and stuff. The bet would always be "Ok, but the loser has to be the winners slave for xxxx amount of time" and much is to be expected I would "throw" the contests but then bitch and complain about it even though I loved it. I don't remember the exact age I was, maybe in highschool or middle school but I was on a family vacation. Staying up late and the parents were passed out. Anyway, HBO realsex had a long story on about Pandora's box in NYC. I knew from that point on what it was I had been feeling all those years. I've done a lot of internet research (and other recreational activities [;)] ) over the years but have only recently started on my quest for training with not much luck. It's an interesting paradox though where I'm in a job that requires me to be very aggressive, in control and issue orders constantly. I wouldn't have it any other way but I know that one day I'll be able to be the boss man until I come home and then I'm simply my Mistresses boy and that's the way it's supposed to be

Chupaflor -> RE: facing your nature (3/19/2005 10:04:59 PM)
For me, tho I had no idea what to call it until recently. it has always been in my nature to be sub. Being raised by a somewhat psychotic grandmother, who most definatly was sub, but you couldn't tell her that, lol. She always "trained" me for lack of a better way too put it, about setting gramps coffee cup just so, how the "right" way to fold socks blah blah blah. The careers I have always worked in were service oriented, and when I met hubby nothing made my day like seeing his face beam with pleasure when I placed his dinner on the table about 30 seconds after he walked in the door, just the way he liked it. When he and I were discussing our interest in this lifestyle, He identified me as a switch, since he has always seen me as "in charge" at home with the kids, at work and so on. However in reading and reading too learn more, he came across the "submissive' creed, and all of a sudden a light clicked for him, and he said "yep, that's you to a T" I will be 35 in a few weeks, so I guess I am a "late bloomer" also, but never have I felt more complete since I have acknowledeged who/what I am. "It's a good thing"

Pet4Master -> RE: facing your nature (3/26/2005 8:52:26 PM)
I always knew the feeling, but never knew the label to identify it, or how to articulate it to a potential mate. Professionally, I am one who is always naturally in charge. I'm very driven. But, personally, I have never wanted to be in a relationship. I am very service oriented when in love, and happiest when the gender roles are clear and followed. I have found, from unfortunate experience, if the man is not able to be in the lead in our relationship, I will be. Otherwise there is chaos, which I cannot live with. I now know how to identify those deep set feelings and desires - and am learning how to articulate them. I know what I have always wanted and am excited and terrified at the possibility of having exactly that. I am completely open, naked, exposed and for the first time in longer than I can remember, found. I am very fortunate to be involved with a man who, from the moment I set eyes on him, had me - and wants me. I happily take my place and follow his lead. Into where, I don't have to know all the details. I just want to love and serve him, satisfy him, make him happy, accept his love and attention gratefully, support his goals, help him reach his dreams. I have had the good fortune to reach a lot of my dreams, in the course of searching for what that unfulfilled void was inside me, now I yearn to stand behind him and support his. I can't be sad that I didn't have this realization 20 years ago. My experiences have done me well and brought me to this point now. Whenver the realization came, I am awake.

ProScatman -> RE: facing your nature (3/31/2005 10:17:51 PM)
I had thoughts about my"kink" at around age 10--12. Luckily for me the neibor girl who was my agemust have been curious too--about me. It began for real when we played in my room with th door closed. We played like boys and girls played except when I would get her into my unmade bed. I don't remember how I accomplished it, but I found myself closely examining her ass. It became something solid in my life when she alloud me to taste her, and not say anything. She would just lay there and allow me to explore. Then as fate would have it--we were out in the woods, and she informed me she had to pee! Again, somehow I found myself under her getting a golden shower? I was fascenated with every aspect of it from the sound to the taste finally. As the years went by my needs became set in concrete, and I felt that there had to be other girls out there who liked doing these things too. It seemed to me my desires were born into me, because they were the first to be persued. I went through my teen years looking for that one girl. Finding her is a subject for another thread!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125