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Fakes - 1/28/2007 8:32:48 AM   
MalePup


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, very new to the whole collarme.com website and dealing with certain folks. i recently came across a fake couple and was unfortunately led around online. i was wondering if anyone can give me any tips to telling whether a profile (specificaly a dominants) is a fake or not.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 8:47:31 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Welcome to the internet.  First of all, ask yourself what "fake" means.  Does it mean that there was a computer program that sent you emails?  Because if there are typed words here it means an actual human wrote it or else the monkeys got really lucky and are finishing War and Peace this very minute.  By "fake" do you mean they were not what you expected them to be?  That's usually the way it goes.  Anger is always an easier emotion to deal with than sadness, so it's just human nature to get angry with someone whenever we feel disappointed or sad. 

Ask yourself what did you really lose by someone not panning out to be what you wanted or even expressed themselves to be.  Did you really lose anything?  And maybe, just maybe you gained a greater insight into yourself and what you really seek.

The "fakes" post gets posted nearly every other day.  That doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid, it just means that cyberia isn't a warm cookies and sunshiny place.


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 8:50:45 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Hello, and welcome,

Unfortunately, this is not an atypical event. There are a lot of fakes and wannabes here. There are no easy answers, but one clear sign is if they are willing to meet face to face after a reasonable length of time. Reasonable, defined by me, is a couple weeks to a month tops. If they keep stalling about meeting you, that should warn you something is not right.

You say you are new to this site, but not how new you are to the lifestyle (your profile is currently pending as I write this). If you are new, when the time does come for a face to face meeting, it should be at a public place, like a Starbucks, where you arrive alone, and leave alone. Be wary of anyone who wants to take you home after that first meeting. Not a good idea.

Finally, remember that although you are a submissive by nature, you are NOT anyone's submissive until you agree to be. Hard as it might be, be forward and straight about what your wants and needs are. If they tell you your needs are irrelevent, run the other way.

I'm sure a lot of others will chime in with additional good advice. Hope this helps.
Namaste, Sir Dominic

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 8:59:15 AM   
MalePup


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Welcome to the internet.  First of all, ask yourself what "fake" means. 


By fake i meant that they said to contact them by a certain time, after giving some thought to what we were talking about. i did and they never returned the e-mail, so i tried again a couple of different times and they still have not replied, yet i can tell they have read the e-mails (You can check that in the "sent" area). Just a bit upset about the whole thing really....


Thank You both, and any others that may post something, for the advice.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 9:03:16 AM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Greetings..~smiles~

Since your new here pup..take that as an advantage. Decide what it is your wanting and need..put in those parameters for your search. See what comes up, then out of those..seek the one's that have been on CM for awhile and are users of the forum itself. You can see what they have posted to..threads/topics, and quietly get a feel for what they believe or where they stand on issue's without ever writing a thing to them. It's about as honest of a glimpse your likely to get from the internet I think.

Good Luck
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 9:03:22 AM   
BlindUnknown


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		The best test is, in my experience here (then again, -i'm- only looking for friends) is to check A) length of the profile, and B) number of items checked in the interests section.  Also, the number of things being seached for helps (such as, did they only check off "Submissive Men" and "Online Romance", or did they just spam all of them?). 

Someone who is willing to put time and effort into a profile will be the least likely to be fake (and i know something about long profiles ^_^)

Best help i can offer.

_____________________________

Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
Kioku shta ka?
"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 9:16:58 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Listen to starshineowned (and the others of course) and try very hard not to let these kinds of non-responses bother you too much.  You are young, i would hate to see you become jaded at such an age, wait until you're my age LOL and then you can Bah! Humbug! all you like.


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 10:04:20 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For various reasons, some people do not follow through. They might have lost interest and decided to not repsond or they could have had an event in their lives that prevented them from coming to the computer (although, you can check that by looking when they last logged in). If they won't treat you with respect as a person, they're most likely not going to be up for a healthy relationship, in my opinion.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 10:35:05 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Coming from strictly my viewpoint here.  My time is limited.  Sometimes I have more time while other's I do not.
If a friend e-mails me, yep I will read their e-mail.  Shelve it until I get the proper amount of time to put through in to respond.  Sometimes that is days while others it is an hour.
Just because they have not responded to you yet does not mean they do not value you as a person.  It may strictly mean they have not had the time to respond as of yet.
Aside from the fact it could be some sort of test they are putting you through.  The ideas are too numerous to post here.

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 11:01:25 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a fake domme looking for a fake sub.



Diane

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 1:11:27 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		They didn't e-mail you back, so they are fake? Try not to let other people's rejection bother you.  After an e-mail or two, it's still just dude on the internet to me.  At least you didn't invest much time, right?

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 1:16:31 PM   
MalePup


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

They didn't e-mail you back, so they are fake? Try not to let other people's rejection bother you.  After an e-mail or two, it's still just dude on the internet to me.  At least you didn't invest much time, right?


a couple weeks of e-mail back and forth actually. They seemed very genuine, then up and dissapeared....

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 3:22:54 PM   
Solinear


Posts: 283
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalePup

a couple weeks of e-mail back and forth actually. They seemed very genuine, then up and dissapeared....


That still doesn't mean that they're fakes... there are any number of explanations about why they have disappeared and how long have they been non-responsive?  2 days?  2 weeks?  If it is the former, then I think you're being hypercritical and expecting too much of this person.

Also, you're showing as only having been on the site for 9 days... unless you created a new profile, you couldn't have been communicating with someone for very long.  A couple of weeks is 5 days more than you've been on the site.

It isn't too uncommon for someone to stop replying to messages after they learn enough about you to decide that you're not a good fit for them, whether Dom or sub... I have to state that I would make it clear in an e-mail myself, but I'm not everyone.

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 3:49:36 PM   
hot1


Posts: 455
Joined: 5/4/2004
From: Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		It is so hard to tell why people do as they do.  And if you build up walls, someone will get through and rip you apart...and they do it for fun.....I think this happens online more than real time...simply because it is easier for them.

Try to protect your heart and good luck in your search

hot1

_____________________________

come on guys...give the blond a break
Please Don't Confuse The Blond

(in reply to Solinear)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 3:58:58 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		DommeforMalePup is either fake or out of your league buddy...

Hope this helps.

Ron  

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to hot1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 4:21:48 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Damn, you made me look Ron!!

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Fakes - 1/28/2007 6:14:30 PM   
desires2


Posts: 39
Joined: 1/26/2007
Status: offline 		In dealing with online anything~~time is the key.  You can not get to know someone in a short length of time.  I agree that if/when you do find someone you would like to meet..do so at a public place and arrive and leave alone.  Any and all sites are going to have their share of players, don't let it discourage you.  I think that anything that is worth having is worth waiting for.  When I joined this site 2 days ago, I had left another...it was full of wannabe Dom's and players.  I am hoping that because I have in my profile that I am only looking for like-minded friends that my wishes will be respected...but..I know better..LOL...So..have fun..enjoy yourself...and don't rush into anything.  The right person is out there for you..don't give up! ~smiles~

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Fakes - 1/29/2007 2:15:20 AM   
SeveredNeuron


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline 		I love this:
quote:

Finally, remember that although you are a submissive by nature, you are NOT anyone's submissive until you agree to be. Hard as it might be, be forward and straight about what your wants and needs are. If they tell you your needs are irrelevent, run the other way.
By SirDominic
Thankyou for stating it, i dont think its said quite enough.

And to the OP, be patient on CM, theres a bit of dirt but theres the occasional gold too... but you have to be prepared to get dirty to find it.

--Ania


(in reply to desires2)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Fakes - 1/29/2007 3:12:20 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		There really are any number of reasons.  Forget it..unless they contact you again spelling out why they disappeared, you'll never know.  Who cares?  Move on.

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Fakes - 1/29/2007 3:46:41 AM   
Sinimint


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline 		Hi

Just be wary of online meetings - is advice I would give you.  You could meet the Dom/Domme of your dreams online and chat for many months, then meet one day and find yourself tied up and helpless and in walk a group of others or the so called Dom/Domme steals from you or worse.  Just please be careful and the best way for this - if you meet someone and all is great, you get along well, just tell a friend beforehand that you are meeting this person and give them all the details of your meeting - the name of the place and address and the phone number,  and that you will call them on their phone at a given time of the evening.  If the friend doesn't hear from you - then they will know where you are.

You probably already know all of this if you have researched, but if not - do please get as much information as you possibly can before meeting anyone from online (that goes for in real time too).


    Ps - this is not to say a good thing can come from online, it's just some true stories I have heard that are scary - and from attending many SSC workshops in the past.


< Message edited by Sinimint -- 1/29/2007 3:50:20 AM >

(in reply to MalePup)
Profile   Post #: 20
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