RE: Homo want Hetero?

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Solinear -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 2:05:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Caitriona quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I get hit on by dominant lesbians fairly often. I don't get hit on often by lesbians, dominant or otherwise, and I identify as bisexual. What are you doing that I'm not? [;)] Exactly... you identify as being bisexual. There is a large segment of the gay/lesbian community that is somewhat hostile to bisexuals because they see them as just being 'trendy'. I can say that when I was still completely dismissing my bisexual side (I'm on the 'mostly hetero, but if you're a major hottie and openly, if not obnoxiously openly gay, I might find you attractive' side of things), I got hit on gay guys a LOT. I think that this was because, at least for me, while I look gay (my wife thought I was gay for the first year that we knew each-other), I don't identify as such, so there may be a certain level of assumption that I'm gay and just haven't admitted it to myself yet or something else, whereas once you identify as bisexual, you've obviously tried it out, but still have a good amount of attraction to the opposite sex. I'm probably wrong though... I was probably just way hotter back before I acknowledged that there were some guys that I thought were cute and I wouldn't mind fooling around with.

LotusSong -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 8:17:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: reamer Why can't the term breeder merely be looked at as "funny"? I AM a breeder, though I'll never breed. Words should not carry the same weight as behaviour towards another person, in my opinion. If someone calls me a breeder, but I'm the person they ask to write and speak the poetic dedication to their queer marriage, and another person says "that's a bad word" but they'd not even invite me to their queer marriage even if we've been "friends" for years, where does the real respect lie? and the real disrespect? I may have decided to never be maried and never breed, but if I ever did? \ and I wanted a "best man" who UNDERSTOOD what good love and good sex and good relationship means to speak for me, I wanted that man to be my best friend in all the world whom I was honored by, when he chose to come out to me first? and everyone else had a problem with that? I would dump everyone else for that wedding, and have only HIM and my bride (not that such will happen) there, aside from my family that also love him and appreciate him. HIM over anyone that sees politics and sex/love as intertwined. With the man he considers his Wife right there too, singing the aria, rather than someone whom loked at "preferrence" over BEHAVIOUR. Over friendship, over platonic love, rather than "what flag do we waste our time marching under". as a footnote, dcnovice, thank you for referring to me as darling. that means more to be coming from a good queer man than being called "hottie" does from a woman, no joke, no hyperbole. I am glad this thread began. Well, in that attitude.. what if I think the word faggot is funny. Nope, one guy utters it and he's delegated to therapy for "sensitivity training". How about we just stop the names all together..no more bitch, fag, breeder, beaner,slut.. yadda yadda OOhhh.. but then we would have to grow up...never mind.

LaTigresse -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 8:54:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeepWaters Im just curious if anyone else has noticed this and what they think might be the reasons behind it.... Ive noticed that gay men seem to be more attracted to straight men than to other gay men, ...also are lesbians more attracted to straight women than other lesbians? I can only speak/type for myself but for me............I am attracted to the PERSON first! Only after that does gender and sexuality come into play...........or not[;)]

Emperor1956 -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 9:19:28 AM)
Speaking from my fifty years in the Midwest, with a variety of experiences with a blessedly varied group of people (THERE, that should satisfy all of you seeking "qualifications"): "Queer" makes me shudder, even though I know its been reclaimed and polished up. I don't use it. I don't use the n-word for Black people or the k-word for Jews, either. Ditto "Faggot", although the proscenium arch of one of Chicago's greatest theaters does proclaim "You, yourselves must set flame to the faggots which you have brought". I've read those words maybe 300 times, and that wholly inappropriate double entendre (c. 2000) in a major theater still makes me smile. "Breeder" is mildly offensive, and just stupid. When someone uses it it tells me they either are cluelessly angry, trendy, or both. "Breeder reactor" is a different usage, just as offensive but for different reasons. I also wonder what it means when someone says he or she "looks gay"? While it is usually well-meaning, in fact there are nothing but stereotypes packed into that expression. I have never heard the term "lemon" used for anything other than a citrus fruit or a defective car, and I still don't know what the person who used it thinks it means. E.

pahunkboy -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 9:32:53 AM)
a small % of straight guys will -say if they are drunk, or their woman is withholding sex from them, or if they are down and out can be co-erced w a case of cigarrettes/booze/ect.. they put it out of there head totally- and seldom are sub in the act. it is quick- this kind of encounter can be dangerous- as guilt can arise, right after the climax- and a beating can ccur. then you have the bi guy- this can range from the type that will fkk anything that moves to- slightly curious. then you have the just coming out guy- this guy- is touchy to deal with. even if they promise you a rose garden- dont buy it. not until the newly out guy has explored the candy store--- i have run into every type of guy out there. there is a portion of gay guys- or a phaze to lay a stright guy- it is the chase that is a rush and a notch on teh bedpost. these same category will chase teh bi guy too. but when the chips are down the gay guy will always loose. period. then you have the type- that has been to the carnival, 7 years in my case. and are satified with solitude bi guys are funner then straight guys in bed. i dont hang at the park anymore- and these days my sex drive is nil. [depression pills] in a way its a good thing. i once put my name and email on the bathroom wall at Bucknell university. instead of a student i had a maintenance guy reply. one conclussion: if you dont repect yourself- others will not respect you. have some dignity. being that the gay life is not the preferred lifestyle=- gays struggle w self respect- hence sex escapades, alcollism, drug abuse- suicide- PS: it still cracks me up when a woman tries to control the guy by withholding sex- and he goes to the park... lol

reamer -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 12:26:24 PM)
Well, in that attitude.. what if I think the word faggot is funny. Nope, one guy utters it and he's delegated to therapy for "sensitivity training". How about we just stop the names all together..no more bitch, fag, breeder, beaner,slut.. yadda yadda OOhhh.. but then we would have to grow up...never mind. To an extent I agree, but many words carry more "hate weight" then others. The problem is that even when politically correct systems take away words and their usage, it merely allows bigots to hide behind a false face of pseudo civility. And yes, I know that "lemon" is used for defective cars in the USA, but it's not used in that way much around the places where I've heard lemon used by lesbians themselves. As for Emperor not knowing that "lemon" means lesbian in some places, that doesn't mean much. If he'd seen someone type "aluminium" and claimed the person was making a typo, it would not change the fact that aluminium is the correct/accepted spelling in the UK and Commonwealth and a yank using "aluminum" would be considered incorrect in their own area.

OedipusRexIt -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 10:35:58 PM)
Sticking to the point of the OP, I'd have to disagree. While your experience may lead you to conclude that gay men "prefer" straight men, I can't say I've witnessed this. I've been approached by my share of gay men, but I don't think it had anything to do with my orientation. Remember, gay guys are still guys - they'll hit on most anything they find the least bit appealling. I think Bearincuffs made a good point though, as some people do like a challenge, or else choose to believe that everyone is secretly just like them.

Sinergy -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 10:38:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Women are just intuitive like that. Read an article which posited that intuition was ancillary photo receptors and other sensory inputs to the brain providing signals which the cognitive brain filters out. Yet these signals still roll around in the neural net, stimulating thoughts which never make it to prime time. Might be that women have X-ray vision and dont know it. Sinergy

Sinergy -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/29/2007 10:41:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt Sticking to the point of the OP, I'd have to disagree. While your experience may lead you to conclude that gay men "prefer" straight men, I can't say I've witnessed this. I've been approached by my share of gay men, but I don't think it had anything to do with my orientation. Remember, gay guys are still guys - they'll hit on most anything they find the least bit appealling. I think Bearincuffs made a good point though, as some people do like a challenge, or else choose to believe that everyone is secretly just like them. I would imagine that there is a subset of gay men who enjoy the conquest of bedding new partners. I would imagine there is a subset of gay men who enjoy the conquest of corrupting a straight guy. I would imagine there is a subset of gay men who exist for years in a monogamous relationship. Homosexuality does not necessarily mean that a man will have sex with anything on the planet which has a penis. Sinergy p.s. I really have issues with circumstantial fallacy arguments. She/he may be submissive does not mean she is MY submissive.

orfunboi -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 5:19:17 PM)
i can't speak for anyone else, but no, straight women do very little for me.

orfunboi -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 5:25:17 PM)
That is so true. It truly makes me sick when I hear some scum bag use the excuse "well he tried to hit on me" after he and his 5 buddies beat some one to death. If women thought that way and got away with it, bar floors with be strewn with bodies by the end of the night.

TreSwank -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 6:05:00 PM)
Deepwaters, From my experience in interacting with the gay community, I've found that there are two PRIME sexual symbols that are ubiquitous in their desirability across the ol' U.S.A. . Those are: 1. The twink (young, attractive, skinny, and hairless. Most of the time, under 24 years of age.) 2. The "Straight-Acting Guy (in general, butch men are more desired in the community than queeny ones. Butch men also seem to have a much longer shelf life than their effeminate counterparts. ) Now, gay or straight, you've got to understand that gay men, are still men in the sense that they will fuck just about anyone to whom they feel the most REMOTE attraction. Women need a reason to have sex with you; while men.....well.... just need a place - which explains why gay men see much more action than even the studliest of straight boys. Gay men like to fuck, and they like it alot. Unfortuately, I think that the gay community has a mistaken notion that heterosexuality makes a guy more innately masculine than a "homosexual" label. That, to my knowledge, is completely false.........but, in a subconscious way, I think that gay men perpetuate the cycle by idealizing the "manliness" of the straight guy. I believe that your average gay man (even the butch ones) sees a faux-deficit in his own manhood, which he seeks to fill up (ha, ha) with the masculinity of the straight boy. For the past two years, I've only lived with gay men, and I've got more love and compassion in my heart for that particular sub-population than any other group out there. Believe me, folks....some of them have had it rough.

Saratov -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 6:23:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice quote: (including the term "lemon") In my 43 gay years, I've never heard this term. Oh, good, I'm not the only one who doesn't know it. I thought maybe it was 'cause I'm straight... quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam (snip) They seem to think that gay men should be able to automatically know their sexual orientation...like they have a sign that say, "I'm straight." It just doesn't work that way. (snip) Master Fire [:)] I used to have a "button" that said "Straight but Not Narrow" does that count? [sm=dance.gif]

Saratov -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 6:38:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Well, in that attitude.. what if I think the word faggot is funny. Nope, one guy utters it and he's delegated to therapy for "sensitivity training". How about we just stop the names all together..no more bitch, fag, breeder, beaner,slut.. yadda yadda OOhhh.. but then we would have to grow up...never mind. [sm=meh.gif] After careless consideration I think Lotus is a yadda yadda. [sm=smile.gif] [sm=dance.gif] [sm=mrpuffy.gif]

reamer -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 7:47:49 PM)
I'dlike to add that many queer young men I've known find being called "twink" to be as degrading as some would find the term "breeder". personally, I've been called a twink before (in my younger slimmer days) and knowing what that meant, was far more "grrrr" than being called a breeder. Saratov: for you or anyone else that STILL wants to have a go at the term "lemon"? send an e-mail to ACON ("Aids Council of NSW") in Australia. As in the state where the city of Sydney (Oz capitol of queer culture) is located. That organization is equally male/female. Ask THEM if "lemon" is an actual term in the Sydney district or not. Apart from that, I must add that I find it a bit sad that there are so many comments on mentioning "lemon" in ONE of my posts rather than that much effort being spent on the actual TOPIC.

mnottertail -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 7:58:10 PM)
So, some body takes it up the ass.......how does this make it bigger than a weather report, god, I gotta tell you, there is sex going on all over the hemisphere and aids, herpes, and mahogony in the rain forest it is gonna continue..........so if mr johnson is parking his cadillac in mrs swensons garage, that would seem to be a matter between the johnsons and swensons, and my discussion of this topical issue is not availing me of mrs swensons molars, as I feel wont to do..... Can somebody walk me thru this please? Ron

LotusSong -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 8:05:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Saratov quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Well, in that attitude.. what if I think the word faggot is funny. Nope, one guy utters it and he's delegated to therapy for "sensitivity training". How about we just stop the names all together..no more bitch, fag, breeder, beaner,slut.. yadda yadda OOhhh.. but then we would have to grow up...never mind. [sm=meh.gif] After careless consideration I think Lotus is a yadda yadda. [sm=smile.gif] [sm=dance.gif] [sm=mrpuffy.gif] And a proud yadda-yadda I am! You will hear me referred to frequently on Seinfeld. :)

dcnovice -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 8:10:05 PM)
quote: I used to have a "button" that said "Straight but Not Narrow" does that count? I've always wanted one that says "Narrow but not straight." [:)]

DomKen -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (1/30/2007 8:52:59 PM)
I've knowm gay men who, especially after a couple or more crinks, were convinced that all other men were in the closet and one night with them would be just what the straight guy needed to find out. No amount of honest responses that I simply do not find the concept of male/male sex appealing or the male body arousing would convince some of these guys to go hit on some one else. OTOH I know several gay men and women who have zero interest in chasing someone who identifies as bi much less straight. Ultimately i think it is a personality/ego thing. Some people cannot seem to imagine that someone they are attracted to does not reciprocate. On another subject, I have known a woman, self identified dyke, who started dating a straight man. Her friends in the lesbian community treated her awfully. She described it as as emotionally painful as her parents rejecting her when she came out. Ultimately they split up and it always seemed to me that her losing her friends had as much to do with it as anything between the two of them.

lucreziaborgia -> RE: Homo want Hetero? (2/1/2007 8:54:56 AM)
It is sad I am a bisexual woman. I hate to see lesbian's faces fall, when I tell them this fact. It must be hard for a man whos bi to tell his female love partner he is attracted to men as well. I don't mind a bi male partner. I attract them, something about my own androgeny? It would be fine here, if - honest, safe in any practice, and each really loved and trusted each other. Not for status not just as arm candy or to impress straight friends, but as an enduring partnership of passion, love, lust, friendship loyalty and trust. Not so bad. Could be sweet.

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