RE: spotting fakes

RE: spotting fakes (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 3:21:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tml721 I guess untill a better to identify fakes is figured out, we're on our own so watch your backs!!! i have been called "fake" for the following reasons: 1. i don't respond to emails that simply request yahoo chat. 2. i'm not bisexual. 3. i don't want to be a third for a couple. 4. i'm not willing to send nude photos to people i've never met. 5. i don't want to agree to have sex with someone i've never met. 6. i won't reveal the name of the company i work for. 7. i don't play with married men who need "release" outside their sexless marriage. 8. i am not going to arrange to meet a stranger in his hotel room next time they travel through the area. There are so many ways i am a "fake". How can we possibly protect all the wankers from someone like me?

OffTheBeatenTrak -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 4:21:04 AM)
Eyesopened, I cann't say i'd be doing anything on that list myself either. Trying to get rid of all the fakes would be a rather tall order, as i cann't help but think that they would be new ones joining as fast as you can get rid of the old ones. The internet has always and will always have fakes hiding behind fake faces. Instead, would it be possible to have an aproval mark, for those that proven to be genuine. Then it's up to the owner of the profile to aquire aproval, from positive meetings or by some other means, if he or she wants it. Also by leaving the negative mark out of the equation you remove any negative attacks that come from pure spite. I think at the end the only defense from fakes, is to not let anyone rush you into anything to fast.

MasterDesire -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 4:34:10 AM)
Fakes Players and so on. What defines a player or a fake? Is the fact that he or she does nto see the life as someone else make them a fake or jsut some oen who likes certain parts of the life and not others. Is a sub a fake if she does not like to be abused? is a slave a fake becasue she will not do as any oen on her says? I do not think so. We are all different and will se the life differently and our needs and desires will be different. NOW if some one meets one real time and is hurt or threatened or worse then yes everyone needs to know. But, I have seen other sites where you can post personel feelings about someone and is that fair jsut becasue someone did not do as told in the first email or send a naked photo or make a call as demanded. Well I for one feel that this life as well as the vanilla life take time to build the respect and trust needed to allow eachother to feel confident with eachother. Far too many here and some other sites have convicted felons and worse lurking about the sites and YES if any one know that someine has a verifiable background then yes that needs to be made public for the safety of the ones using the site. But just because someone does not agree with another here does not make them a fake. Placing a name FAKE on someone becasue they see things differently or have different needs and desires is wrong but always warning others of SAFETY related issues I feel is far and needed

OffTheBeatenTrak -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 5:13:53 AM)
MasterDesire, My definition of a fake/player on a forum would be some one that uses a fake profile or identity to con some one into doing something, giving something based on the fake profile or using the fake profile for the sole purpose of insulting and verbaly abusing of users. Its only when the fake profiler is directly causing problems for other users that i would say some thing would need to be done. Other peoples opinions on what they would call a fake or player may differ. Some could call me a fake as i've currently only have limited info on my profile, but as i don't use this profile for meetings, for gain or go around insulting people, i would hope it's not a problem. Some people just don't want to put there lives on the internet for every one to view. As for out side the forum, i would not label some as fake for just lying, but i would if they were gaining at my expense from that lie. Again different people, different opinions.

toservez -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 9:02:52 AM)
I am with moderator 11 on this one. Fake has become a generic put down for anyone who did not like how something turned out. I doubt any women on this site would not be at some point be put on a list of that nature because we did something to someone that they felt was not what a “real” person would do. I think most people on this site would have a much more productive time reading profiles and looking for effort, sincerity and realism and writing only those people and not writing anyone with a profile that lives anywhere near them or ones who have attractive pictures anywhere in the world.

OedipusRexIt -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 9:26:49 AM)
I glued a rear-view mirror to my forehead just so I could watch my back here on CM. ...trouble is, some guy behind me keeps flashing his brights, and I don't think it's "pull over" he has in mind... We've all gone through the fake dillemna. All you can do is move on...

TrueCalling -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 9:35:20 AM)
I have to agree with the najority of what is being posted here....'Fakes, frauds and wannabes' are often the terms used to describe a person who says/does something the name caller doesn't 'like' I once pointed out to someone that given his information, he was dominant and with sub in a relationship when he was eight years old...Voila, insta-fake (as called by him) Someone telling you "You dont talk like a slave" is another surefire way to be granted this title! I pinched myself, and i am real..i guess that test is faulty! colleen

TrueCalling -> RE: spotting fakes (1/31/2007 9:36:46 AM)
Majority, that is...BTW, how do you edit a post? colleen

eyesopened -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 2:22:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OffTheBeatenTrak Instead, would it be possible to have an aproval mark, for those that proven to be genuine. Then it's up to the owner of the profile to aquire aproval, from positive meetings or by some other means, if he or she wants it. Also by leaving the negative mark out of the equation you remove any negative attacks that come from pure spite. i have met exactly one person from this site. That wouldn't give me good approval marks now would it? That i haven't met more than one person it's because i don't want to it's because primarily i don't want to meet married men or play with couples. i live in an inconvenient area and frankly the approval method wouldn't work any better than the reporting of so-called fakes. What is the criteria for approval? What if the same things that makes me "fake" is the same criteria for approval? The danger of the approval rating is that a lot of newbies would rush into potentially bad meetings just to get approvals, those who are negatively reviewed would just delete their profile and come back under a different one. There is no good answer other than to use common sense.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 4:02:39 AM)
I honestly think that it's NOT up to CM to come up with any sort of filtering or approval methods. Come up with your own, and work with that, since you are ultimately the person who is going to be judge and jury on what you consider to be "twue" and "real" vs. a "fake".....alternatively, whether you refer to someone as a decent person or just not what you're looking for. Some filters I've used in the past: only meeting folks who first contact me online who live within about an hour drive so we could meet reasonably quickly over coffee; only meeting folks who have had some level of activity in the local scene (has attended a munch, gone to one of the local clubs, etc); familiarity with what I consider the basic concepts behind BDSM; run their name through the local "Domme network" to see what I come up with; if they had a Domme that moved cross country I've required them getting a reference from that person (because really - all these Dommes are NOT moving cross country - it's ok to say you have no experience or the relationship ended because you weren't compatable); and a few others. Yep. It's a pain. But I've met some really interesting people over the years; some not so intereseting, and a few annoying ones. But never anyone that I felt I was in danger having met. What I can say is that the mentality that you're going to meet "your one twue love forever and ever perfect sex slave/Dominant by just floating an ad online" is a cop out and unlikely to work. It's going to take more effort on your part. Get involved in your local scene. Go to munches. Get to know everyone rather than just hitting on what you percieve are the single folk who fit into what you seek. Go to educational functions. Plan a vacation around going to a large BDSM convention. Network. Make friends with kinky folks. The more time you spend amongst the real folks...the easier it will be to cull them out online from the cyber hoards.

siamsa24 -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 4:14:04 AM)
I'm a fake because I don't have a web cam and am not willing to have phone sex. Or I am a man, hmmmmm, I think I would have noticed had I grown a penis..........

OffTheBeatenTrak -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 4:49:14 AM)
Eyesopend, As i've never had a meeting from anyone fron this site, mainly because i've not been looking for any, I wouldn't have a good approval score either. I would hope if any system is used, it would be used as a guide only. There will anyways be an element of risk in any given situation. Maybe the only system that would be fair is as you say, is common sense, look before you leap.

r5200iff -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 6:04:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy If you push her a needle through her nipple and she bleeds she's a "fake." No wait! It might be if she floats in water! It's all so confusing! No, I think it's if she's made of wood, she's fake. But seriously guys, be safe rather than sorry. Anyone that's for real will understand that and will respect you for it. But be open to difference too because you may miss out if you're too cautious. Oh hang on, I think that might have been the test for a witch.

juliaoceania -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 10:14:29 AM)
You know, when I was looking fakes were pretty easy to spot. I was also not emotionally involved with strangers that emailed me. If they wanted to meet and I did too, fine, but generally speaking it was not a problem. What I find is that many people are lazy. They do not want to take the time to get to know someone because they "might" be fake. When one looks for a job they have to make up a resume, send it to perspective employers, show up for interviews, train for the job once they find it... then they are on probation usually when they first start. It takes time to find a good to excellent job. Why should finding a good to excellent relationship be any easier? When the job that you wanted does not hire you, is it a "fake" job? In order to prosper in this life one has to be willing to take risks, if someone is unwilling to risk they are not going to go anywhere or do anything. It is just the way it is.

toservez -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 12:56:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania You know, when I was looking fakes were pretty easy to spot. I was also not emotionally involved with strangers that emailed me. If they wanted to meet and I did too, fine, but generally speaking it was not a problem. What I find is that many people are lazy. They do not want to take the time to get to know someone because they "might" be fake. When one looks for a job they have to make up a resume, send it to perspective employers, show up for interviews, train for the job once they find it... then they are on probation usually when they first start. It takes time to find a good to excellent job. Why should finding a good to excellent relationship be any easier? When the job that you wanted does not hire you, is it a "fake" job? In order to prosper in this life one has to be willing to take risks, if someone is unwilling to risk they are not going to go anywhere or do anything. It is just the way it is. I love this. It is perfect to my thoughts and experience with online. My looking at profiles it is pretty darn easy to spot people who are not serious, living in fantasy land, or are not going to put in the great effort needed to make something like online searching work out. The biggest mistakes I see males do time and time again when I have talked to them and see them complain on the boards is that they will write and talk to anyone who writes them back and wait to get burned by them disappearing or Emailing for months and months instead of just stopping the wishful thinking and stop the pattern before they get burned and frustrated. There is just an obsession with many on these sites the product of a combination of sheer laziness and frustration to try to make this search void of all human nature and to install many completely artificial demands and guidelines in the name of weeding out fakes but often is also trying to serve the purpose of avoiding effort and pushing their preference and timing of what they want to happen on the other when that person is a complete stranger to you. It ends up looking very stupid. I am not going to be accused of being a fake by proxy and therefore have to jump through hoops for a complete stranger. It sounds so cool to make demands like must phone after second message but the truth is this crap probably eliminates many sincere people as much as the fakes and never going to go real time ones. Of course if they live close by and cannot meet very soon dump them but when talking of significant distance people have to be more open to things. My experience the men who put in the effort to their profiles and messages did not need to pollute them with comments about fakers and other negative crap. They did not need to put in artificial demands. They also would never make comments about most they contact are fakes because they did not experience that. I think many who do come across the fakes as the main ones they are attracting need to put out a better and more discerning effort. Look within themselves instead of lashing outward. You get what you give in life.

juliaoceania -> RE: spotting fakes (2/1/2007 2:13:06 PM)
quote: You get what you give in life. I do not know how many times I have responded to threads from searching doms telling them how submissives hate form letter introductions. They then would comment about how much work that was for them. Most self respecting submissives do not want a lazy dominant that cannot even be bothered to compose an original email. I agree with your assessment, it would not matter if people were fake or not if we did not foist our expectations on to them about how they should "be", after all until we communicate we are all nothing but complete and total strangers, why put our expectations on to people we do not know? My strategy was to talk to oodles of men, befriend many of them, narrow the field when it came to planning a meeting. I had no expectations on any of them.... but unfortunately 90% of the ones I emailed with had expectations they placed on me. I am certain some of them thought me "fake"[:D]. The one that did not have these expectations was the one that got the real deal..smiles

ickleElloEllo -> RE: spotting fakes (2/2/2007 9:27:12 AM)
some of us have profiles for the chat room...we are not looking for anyone.....just to chat....we are not hurting anyone we are not leading anyone on...... yet we are still hounded by persons who choose to not accept that we are not "seeking" even when our profile states we are not seeking...

Sinergy -> RE: spotting fakes (2/2/2007 5:43:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL:MsSonnetMarwood Join me in a double espresso, 11? quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail You get in first; then we will see if enough room remains for her. Winston Churchill Why are we putting Winston Churchill in Mod 11's cappuccino? Sinergy

Sinergy -> RE: spotting fakes (2/2/2007 5:45:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: r5200iff quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy If you push her a needle through her nipple and she bleeds she's a "fake." No wait! It might be if she floats in water! It's all so confusing! No, I think it's if she's made of wood, she's fake. Incorrect. If she weighs the same as a duck. She's made of wood. And therefore... A WITCH!

unsung -> RE: spotting fakes (2/2/2007 5:55:18 PM)
Yup yup and I am a time waster on another board announced freely in a blog because I did not bend to an initial inquiry to accept sex from a total stranger in a first email correspondence. Hummm I would think that this awards me a 'medal of being a fake aka time waster'. Shame on me for being selective in my search :(

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