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RE: After Care - 1/30/2007 3:56:35 PM

onestandingstill

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I would wonder, if they are truly working on poly, why she wasn't invited to come assist her sister sub? It would of given her some time she needed with them & she could have helped care for this other family member.
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RE: After Care - 1/30/2007 4:02:46 PM

missturbation

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Hmm now there's a thought.
I think my friend is just a casual addition so maybe her involvement with them doesn't extend that far. Maybe the other sub didnt want her there or maybe it was just not thought of. I guess this comes down to knowing what her actual place is as im not sure she does fully.

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RE: After Care - 1/30/2007 6:40:12 PM

Devilslilsister

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i guess the only answer is those that have already been given.

Be the friend that you're being.. be there for her.. talk to her.. maybe hang out with her?

life sucks, the road isnt easy, and to get along at times you have to suck it up

and she might want to re check what she really wants/needs.

AND she might want to wait a few days before she decides to do anything so she's back to having a clear head.

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RE: After Care - 1/30/2007 7:19:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
Hmm now there's a thought.
I think my friend is just a casual addition so maybe her involvement with them doesn't extend that far. Maybe the other sub didnt want her there or maybe it was just not thought of. I guess this comes down to knowing what her actual place is as im not sure she does fully.

I assumed it was because she was sick. I know when I'm sick, I don't want visitors or extra hands to help me.

And if I'm sick, I don't want to infect others.

I will also point out that this isn't a poly issue- it's a life issue.

What if the dom had a car accident? What if his son had a big sports game come up that night? What if his job suddenly gave him a big crunch project?

Priorities simply come up and need to be handled. A sub in subdrop is something to take care of, but in these particular circumstances, I don't see how anyone did anything that would be anything less than admirable.

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RE: After Care - 1/30/2007 11:12:11 PM

Reflectivesoul

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LA,

I have to agree with you on this. I dont see where anyone did anything short of a good job. The Dom in this sitation has clearly explained that the second sub is second priority and he has maintained contact, he's talked with her but has been unable to be there physically. This is one of the better cases of after care that I have seen hit the threads, usually its the other way around and someone has had a Dom just completely abandons them to the point of no contact at all period then goes poof.

to the OP,
I think you should talk to your friend about how she can find positives in the situation, for example that he is still there for her, he hasnt restricted contact, he has maintained his word thus far, he did care for her after their scene ( which again has been said on the threads of not happening at all and is a really crappy situation to find yourself in ) point out the good things that have happened for her in this relationship and help her to see that while yes she physically wants him to be there with her, he has been there and has done what should have been done for her. With her being second to his "main" submissive she needs to see that she has gotten fair treatment and she has had his attention, but she will also need to look hard at this and see if it is truly all she wants.

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RE: After Care - 1/31/2007 6:09:35 AM

missturbation

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I assumed it was because she was sick. I know when I'm sick, I don't want visitors or extra hands to help me.
From what i know i would assume that this is how it is.

She's a lot better today, thinking rationally etc. She has sent a text to see if the sub is feeling any better and sending her love but has recieved no reply. I was ready for a freak out but she hasnt she just presumes hes busy and will get back to her. Shes taken on board a lot of the advice given here and is now going to do some soul searching and see if this is where she genuinely wants to be or not.
She is a little confused on that she misses the sub today not the Dom. Im presuming that this is because the sub is ill and she cares and that she has had contact with the Dom over the past couple of days and not the sub.
She thanks you all for your advice.

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Post #: 26