The Gentleman Master

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BLACKMASTERusa -> The Gentleman Master (1/30/2007 10:40:45 PM)
I am BLACKMASTER. By nature and My conservative upbringing, I am a gentleman. For years I mistakenly assumed that to be dominant, one must be pushy, overbearing and rude. A kind of "let the bitch know whose in charge' type of attitude. Now I'm in My fifties, comfortable in My own skin and have discovered the power in simply being yourself. Without rudeness, lies or raising My voice, consenting sub women indulge My kinky requests souly to please Me. I like that. (smile) I am BLACKMASTER

hisannabelle -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/30/2007 11:03:16 PM)
so true. being rude and overbearing is indicative to me of simply not having good manners or knowing how to treat -anyone-, let alone one's submissive...so i think this is an important lesson to learn, personally. seems like you've had an awesome journey so far :)

Focus50 -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 1:34:20 AM)
*Lol, should I read those opening and closing statements as "I am BLACKMASTER, hear me roar!"?* *But yes, being comfortable in your own skin - I like that about me, too! And where my subs are concerned, I like that I can communicate better with my eyes than my voice....* *Focus.*

mystiquenz -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 2:33:35 AM)
Blackmaster>> Thank you for this post. Recently i met a dom, who thought that being domineering was being dominant. How many others are of the same view point? For many, including myself, it is a turn off! But then others like to micro manage, and others do not, so i suppose it is an individualistic thing. There is nothing nicer, than when a Dominant is very comfortable in his own being, and knows himself well, inside and out, and hopefully a submissive with a similar quality would be favoured, rather than found lacking. I would imagine that a person more mature in years, who is settled (whatever that may mean), is happy with their life and their direction, knows when they are having a good day, a bad day, or an indifferent day, is able to communicate what's going on, then, has walked that "a thousand miles in those mocassins", and still can feel the earth beneath their feet ... must be comfortable in their own skin, OTHERWISE how on earth, are they going to guide their counterpart bottom/sub/slave. Give me a Dominant that has experienced life, rather than one that is trying to fit together his pieces any day of the week.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 6:58:14 AM)
Lots of people start off with a lot of bravado...or adopting a role and personality because they think it's what they're supposed to do or be. I know I did. I just couldn't identify with the Bitch Goddess persona, though. We have a wonderful man in our local community, who happens to be African American, who does an excellent presentation entitled "Master or Asshole in a Black Vest?". He does a super job with it. Master Fire

starshineowned -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 7:06:10 AM)
Greetings..~smiles~ I think discovering this aspect goes quite well with also understanding the difference in Control versus Controlling. Enjoy your skin Sir Well Wishes starshine Happy slave of Master Delvin

LotusSong -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 7:31:59 AM)
Sir, there seems to be a theme today. See http://www.collarchat.com/m_799563/tm.htm. The Mistresses are discussing the exact same thing:)

SimplyMichael -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 7:40:12 AM)
The more toys, the louder the talk, the more showy their play, the more they try and be big the smaller they tend to be on the inside. Its the monster truck syndrome.

toservez -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 8:37:26 AM)
It is a shame many people on both sides of the fences sometimes feel the need to play a part instead of being themselves. The only right way is what is natural for you. If that is in a more gentlemanly manor or if it is in a more domineering manor so be it. Acting for effect will only cause problems in the long run. It is unfortunate that you see this a lot in all relationships. People start out with masks on themselves and over time get either too tired or forget to keep them on and that is when you find out if you are truly compatible with the other person. It seems also that many times that this is done less and less as we grow older and hopefully wiser.

SirDominic -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 8:39:43 AM)
A controlling dom is not one that is in control. I have never raised my voice in anger to a sub. I have never used rudeness or been overbearing. When one is truly In Control, all that posturing is simply pointless. I also agree with Focus50's response, the eyes have an incredible power over a submissive, as does facial expressions, body stances; there are an enormous number of ways to get a point across without saying a word. Another thing I have found to be very powerful, much better than anger is disappointment. When a submissive fails me in some way, I tell her how disappointed I am in her in a calm, neutral tone of voice. The result is often devastating, as, for many submissives, there is no greater sin than not living up to their Dominant's expectations. Namaste, Sir Dominic

talltxsub -> RE: The Gentleman Master (1/31/2007 9:13:30 AM)
The quiet dominant is always so much more in control. If one must threaten or bully, then they are just being a bully. But the one who makes another simply submit as though they are desperate to do so.....that is a real dominant.

Adrenochrome -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/1/2007 10:53:34 AM)
There's a time and a place for raging. There's a time and a place for the raised voice. Just like there's a time and a place for the back of one's hand. I'm a cultured young Man. I have a Master's degree. There's a strong tradition of appreciating art, literature, and fine music in my family. In my Mastery of my slave, I generally am much more a Paternal figure than I am a brute. However, sometimes she needs the brutish treatment to learn. Sometimes I need to be brutish to properly express myself. Time and a place for everything.

sloki -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 2:18:44 AM)
I like the quiet Ones the best. There is a sense of mystery there that makes me want to hush and listen close...

eyesopened -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 3:13:28 AM)
Anger is just another expression of fear and a fearful Dom isn't attractive to me. i genuinely seek to be in a relationship where bondage comes in the form of word, touch, the look in the eyes, the turn of the mouth, the simple touch of the hand.

Domrob -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 5:08:00 AM)
I am a Dom and a gentleman. It usually works and there is a buz from getting obedience by making a quite request not an order. The downside is I am a natural host and find it difficult to order a sub to do simple things like pour wine or make coffee even when they have come for domestic training. I have lost subs by not being masterful enough in these areas though they agree they have had a good spanking and been extended in other ways. Do other gents have this problem?

JustUsTwo -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 8:48:15 AM)
Inside or outside of this dynamic being true to oneself is really the only sustainable course to take. Adopting a role or persona in any relationship eventually becomes too cumbersome to maintain. It becomes like any lie. One lie will soon enough require another for sustenance and that begins a cycle of perpetuation that will eventually collapse. Personally I have other, better things to do with my time, energy and imagination. To OP, I too was raised as gentleman and as time goes on I find less and less incongruity between that part of my upbringing and my dominant nature. Being in charge starts with being in charge of my own life and that doesn’t happen without truthfulness to self and whatever truths are found in upbringing. He

QuietDom -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 10:51:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sloki I like the quiet Ones the best. There is a sense of mystery there that makes me want to hush and listen close... Please spread this attitude as widely as possible... [:)]

irishric -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 11:24:29 AM)
Greetings A/all, Find that this a very disturbing aspect of O/our lives. When I approach a slave, I generally describe myself as a "gentle"man who chooses to be sadistic. I am very affectionate with my slaves/playmates and as that turn me on, I refuse to change to suit their behaviors. I have had several slaves, and I have definitely used them in sadistic manners, yet they spend their down time in MY arms, being caressed and gently brought back from whereever they were. Dominant does not mean abusive, butes are abusive. And I definitley don't want to feel like that ever.

Padriag -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 11:33:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael The more toys, the louder the talk, the more showy their play, the more they try and be big the smaller they tend to be on the inside. Its the monster truck syndrome. What bothers me is how often those tactics work. How often the pushy, come on strong, "dom" gets the girl in "sub frenzy". Most submissives don't really learn until they've made the mistakes, been hurt and burned, their trust broken, their faith frayed... and then it falls to those same quiet ones to pick up the pieces and try to make something of damaged goods. Ironically, we're also the ones perhaps best suited to doing exactly that, to re-casting the clay if you will. Its not a new story, I guess in reality its actually a very old one. The weathered and worn veteran and the soiled dove who finally get it right (I gotta lay off the westerns). Just wish it didn't seem to so often work out that way. Ah well, its what I get for being a 16th century man in a 21st century world. A romantic fan of Nietzsche, could I be any more of a contradiction? I keep putting the horse in front of the cart because I'm just old fashioned that way. But let me know how that cart in front of the horse thing works out. So if you'll excuse me I have a friend to deal with and her mess of a marriage which she rushed into. While she's packing her bags I'll be threatening to break his legs if he ever goes near her again. Someone's got to clean up the mess... and with all this practice I seem to be getting pretty good at it. Maybe I should take up pottery. Maybe I'm just finally getting old and wondering if I'm really any wiser. Or why I still care at all. Life would be so much easier if I were a cold, heartless, come on strong, grab whatever I can dom... but would it be any better? Some days I wonder. Some days I just listen to Billy Joel. Usually I get over both. Thanks for listening.

Totalmaster4you -> RE: The Gentleman Master (2/2/2007 12:42:56 PM)
[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]Ta Da....................This belongs in introduce yourself not ask a Master! I see no question here just someone who wants to be the center of attention and thinks they've figured it out,.... but it took them 50 years. If you were a natural it wouldn't have taken so long you just would have been![image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]

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