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Stuck inbetween.... - 1/30/2007 11:03:58 PM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,

I have a very unique problem. I am hoping someone can help me out with. Ok, here goes...

I am an LG (little girl, age play) and yet a submissive as well.

Lately Daddy (Sir) and I have been talking more and more about protocal at local BDSM events. My problem is this. I tend to regress when submissive. However, protocal states submissives are seen not heard, calm, and quiet. (At least that's basic protocal for the events we may be attending.)

This presents a problem, for an overactive, overimaginitive little submissive who can't keep her mouth shut.  I've talked it over with Daddy (Sir) and we've come to the conclusion that I'll just have to remain a total adult. But at our own events I can regress as much as I want to. Still, I'm afraid I'll mess up. I've always been one to get caught up in emotions rather than think before I react.

I'm even more afraid of what might happen at a play party if I am asked to scene. I regress when I am punished for anything. Yes, there are times where I enjoy pain as an adult submissive. But I never know how I will react in a scene. I don't want to disrespect anyone let alone my Sir.

Does anyone have any advice?

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/30/2007 11:38:40 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		Steelriven,
 
Ever go to a restaurant and see a little kid screaming at the table while the parents are trying to finish their meal?  Ever see a parent shopping with a screaming kid in the cart (or stroller)?  In those scenarios, a lot of people will think....what a brat!  But i came to the conclusion that was the parent's fault....for expecting a small child with underdeveloped self control to sit at a table for an hour and a half while they order a meal, eat, have coffee and chat.  Or stick a kid in a cart or stroller and roll them around for hours while they browse the clothes racks.  Kids just aren't built for that.  Doesn't seem fair to stick a child in that situation and then expect them to exert self control that they don't even have yet, does it?
 
i don't have an answer for you and your Daddy but i can tell you that i have seen enough negative commentaries on subs that act like brats at parties or munches to know that i would never want to be the one in that situation.  Not only would it reflect poorly on you, but on your dom as well. 
 
i am not saying don't go....but i hope you both realize that if you do, and you start acting out...or become rather childish....you may not like the backlash.
 
When i was in a D/g relationship, we were not involved in the public scene but when we went out in public, i was still his lil girl, but i had better know how to act appropriately around others, or there was hell to pay.  Personally, i was able to control that but if you are not, you just might want to think twice before you leap.
 
Best wishes with it,
Daddysgirl

(in reply to Steelriven)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 2:53:58 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think you'll have any problems going as your Daddy's girl to the dungeon.
We here in the Crucible in DC see what we term as "littles" all the time in the club.
LOL nothing like seeing a woman/girl in pig tails skipping merrily to the bar to get her Daddy a water ya know.
If you're dressed as daddy's little girl sub and not a sexy adult sub people will understand you're behaving younger.
Even in the BDSM community they'll understand your age (little girl age)affects your ability to behave like a grown up and as long as you're not touching others without permission or bothering people who are scening I think it's OK for you to be who you want to be in the club. Now this does not give you permission to be a rude obnoxious brat, that you'll have to temper for your Daddy..
The littles here take a stuffed animal buddy, coloring books and crayons, and other special toys they have that will help keep them busy and comfortable.
Most even have animal slippers on too.
You have just as much right as anyone to go to the dungeon and be yourself.
Go, do what comes naturally, and worry more about acting within the constraints that your Daddy has for you and you'll not only have fun, but you'll be fine.
suzanne 

(in reply to Steelriven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 3:08:45 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

..... i don't have an answer for you and your Daddy but i can tell you that i have seen enough negative commentaries on subs that act like brats at parties or munches to know that i would never want to be the one in that situation.  Not only would it reflect poorly on you, but on your dom as well. 
 
i am not saying don't go....but i hope you both realize that if you do, and you start acting out...or become rather childish....you may not like the backlash.
 
When i was in a D/g relationship, we were not involved in the public scene but when we went out in public, i was still his lil girl, but i had better know how to act appropriately around others, or there was hell to pay.  Personally, i was able to control that but if you are not, you just might want to think twice before you leap.
 
Best wishes with it,
Daddysgirl


Very good points Daddysgirl.

Being a little is not a problem, being a brat that bothers other people beside your daddy is a problem.

Many many lifestylers don't want to have to put up with a bratty little kid at an adult event. So if you act out you can expect others to give you bad looks, frowns, negative comment and for you and your daddy to not be invited to private events.

The little that attend the events here (The Crucible, DCLF, LF&P, M/sConference, BR, MAL, CampCrucible, and more more more) they have time set aside as a group to play and act out. but for the most part, they act politly, still a little but on their best behavior.

i even invited the littles to attend our collaring ceromoney and they were well behaved and one even helped at it.

Surely you can behave in vanilla public, why not at an event? after all you are not really a child, no matter how deep you go into role, you are still an adult inside. at an event let the little out but on her best behavior.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 5:30:01 AM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone for you advice. No, I do understand that no one wants a brat around. And that if I acted poorly it with disgrace not only myself but my Sir (daddy) as well.

I wasn't saying I was intentionally going to to misbehave, I was just worried about what others might think. I didn't realize that I could bring a coloring book, or some toys and play quietly if I felt regressed. Daddy (Sir) has read the responses too, he agrees.

Heh, onestandingstill you gave Daddy (Sir) ideas help LOL!

You've made a large weight fall off my chest, thank you so much!

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to goodpet)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:02:04 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Find new events so you can be more yourself?

Talk to your Daddy about it and start looking inside and see if you can pinpoint WHY physical discipline, even in play, puts you in a negative headspace. Be willing to be vulnerable and work through and from that headspace if your Daddy decides to take you there. Working through the tears can be important.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Steelriven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:22:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		What she said.  If this group doesn't work for you, find one that will.

Little girls can and are taught to behave properly and quietly.  This might not be "fun time" and I understand you want to associate little girl with fun and not "not fun" but it might be the way to go. 

Have you attended a lot of these events yet?  What they claim is proper protocol for them might not be at all.  You could just take the risk and be who you are as it is and see if anyone is bold enough to actually say anything about it (trust me, there are always people in a group who enjoy and who could care less about protocol).


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:26:59 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Finding balance is sometimes hard.  I wouldn't want a woman I couldn't talk to for hours and yet I enjoy creating protocals around speaking and positioning when at play parties.  Like becoming a daddy, (which is how I found balance between my need to nurture as well as be firm/strict) the secret is finding a genuine rather than a forced balance that works and it takes a long time.  Sure as hell took me a long time and a few broken relationships but you two sound a little more grounded and so good luck!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:30:01 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Finding another group isn't always an option and forming one is sometimes divisive.  If what you want to do isn't something that is welcome, offer to host/throw a themed party for the group once in a while.

Putting on even the simplest party is a lot of work and unless those who run the group are control freaks (and they are out there) then most people would welcome taking a break and letting someone else do the work.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 2:07:48 PM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Finding another group is not an option. Because some of these events are hosted by Daddies (Sir's) friends. But he and I have had a chance to re-talk things. It's not a neggitive headspace that I get into, just inapproprate for the time and place.

We've decided that I can still be my little girl self, I just have to be very well behaved. Ack! Hehe, just kidding. It won't kill me to behave, and I know it shows respect to Daddy (Sir) and his friends and in turn makes me proud, and Daddy (Sir) proud of me.

I've been to many, many ABDL and age play related events. Munches, parties, picnics. I founded my own offline organization. I've discovered that the basic protocal is much more different than mainstream BDSM events. Of those I've only been to one. Thank you everyone for your help! I feel so much better now.

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 3:00:15 PM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		I have to tell you, i have been to many events, munches, sloshes, etc, and have never seen where it was imposed that the submissives had to behave a certain way. I have heard of this at private play parties, but not large events. If a submissive was asked to behave a certain way, it was at the request of his/her dominant. Granted thats been my experience. I have always been made to feel i could just be me.

(in reply to Steelriven)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 5:07:11 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		There are lots of events where the little sits on the floor and play quietly or colors.. i am not a little but love to sit with them and talk to them or play with them. we have a lot of fun.  try taking a floor blanket and quiet toys.

(in reply to Steelriven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 5:27:43 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		From what I see the total emersion in your fantasy is putting you in the right headspace. Now if your owner… ut oh, here comes a very bad word… proclivities lead you to be a little girl throughout your D/s relationship then knock yourself out. It is your kink and your “Daddies” kink and that is okay. If your “daddy” is concerned with what others are thinking of your behavior then, perhaps, he needs to revaluate his control. Personally if you were a misbehaving little girl at my event, I would offer your daddy a buffet of belts and a plethora of other, more interesting, discipline devices that he could absolutely spank the fire out of your ass with.

As kinksters we are looking for the right headspace that empowers us, gives us the high, or comfort rather, for us to find a modicum of happiness and content. When you attend an event, are you looking for uniformed conformity or the rainbow of unique characters that will be in attendance? It is the exposure to the vast difference of play style, kink, and fetishes that allow us to grow and learn. Think of it like comfortable shoes; it wasn’t all the sudden cobblers from around the world woke up and made them, it was the exposure of different culture and ideas that spread around the world to bring us a comfortable shoe.
As a little naughty girl, you are a shoe of a different style. It will wear well for some, and not for others. However, what matters is how it wears for you and your Daddy.

Loki


_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to goodpet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 5:59:33 PM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Some of these events will be private parties, held by Daddies (Sir's) friends. Yes, I have to go by his protocal, and his alone. But there is also a basic protocal to go by that's more or less unspoken. This is more for private parties and events.

When I first thought about it, I rather jumped to concluions and panicked, with out thinking things through. Daddy and I did talk about it, but it wasn't clear until today.

I'm still nervous about attending my first event at a more private location. But I'm not as scared as I was. Communication is a great thing.

Wulfchyld you are not allowed to speak to my Daddy LOL! I gotta check out where you live. Oh, boy I hope it's not Texas hehe! I can see myself now... Bolting for the bathroom, hoping the hinges aren't on the outside LOL!

But seriously thanks for the advice. Yes, I can be a brat. But sometimes little girls with their short attention span forget who is in charge, and need to be reminded.

Oh, Daddy (Sir) just read what you wrote WulfChyld he says, "send away." Gulp.....

< Message edited by Steelriven -- 1/31/2007 6:01:18 PM >

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:05:53 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
I have a feeling that based on her own instincts and experience, and aided by some ideas presented here, the original poster will very rapidly learn how to behave without sacrificng any authenticity. I shouldn't wonder whether, at a potentially difficult moment, a quiet word or touch or glance which says: "Be good for Daddy," might be welcome and effective, irrespective of whether that particular Daddy prefers to deliver such a look with a frown or a smile.
 

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 1/31/2007 7:16:24 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I don't think you'll have any problems going as your Daddy's girl to the dungeon.
We here in the Crucible in DC see what we term as "littles" all the time in the club.
LOL nothing like seeing a woman/girl in pig tails skipping merrily to the bar to get her Daddy a water ya know.
If you're dressed as daddy's little girl sub and not a sexy adult sub people will understand you're behaving younger.
Even in the BDSM community they'll understand your age (little girl age)affects your ability to behave like a grown up and as long as you're not touching others without permission or bothering people who are scening I think it's OK for you to be who you want to be in the club. Now this does not give you permission to be a rude obnoxious brat, that you'll have to temper for your Daddy..
The littles here take a stuffed animal buddy, coloring books and crayons, and other special toys they have that will help keep them busy and comfortable.
Most even have animal slippers on too.
You have just as much right as anyone to go to the dungeon and be yourself.
Go, do what comes naturally, and worry more about acting within the constraints that your Daddy has for you and you'll not only have fun, but you'll be fine.
suzanne 


ya know, up until this post the idea of a Daddy Dom did absolutely nothing for me (i am not judging, just speaking for myself)... however, this post made it sound like an absolute blast!!

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Stuck inbetween.... - 2/1/2007 4:31:25 AM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Daddy calls it his, "Daddy look." I can tell easily when he's upset with me, and it generally means I've forgoten to do something, or my actions and behavior is steering me into a spanking heh. Or worse, corner time! Not to hijack my own thread here, but wow. Corner time even with just us two is very humilating, specially when Daddy (Sir) makes me sing kid's songs.

I'll try and be on my best behavior, and I'm very sure that if I'm not Daddy (Sir) will let me know in a heartbeat heh. Oh and angelic, it is alot of fun!

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 17
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