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tade -> RE: What is it you "need" in a master and how do you get it? (2/1/2007 6:46:54 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Noah
quote:
ORIGINAL: tade
I've seen a few posts along the lines of "I am meeting my master for the first time" lately. I know that I don't understand the whole online submission thing as a way of life and I am fine with that, but that phrase just struck me as odd. How is it that you(as a submissive) can feel so strongly about someone as to call them your master without ever having even been alone in a room with them? Are you so desperate for the act that you willingly bow down to the first DomlyBear305 that comes along with a silver tongue and good writing skills? I myself would not want such a "slave" as anything more than a chat friend and way to pass the time in between poker hands, online or otherwise. I know it could just be symantics and I know that word Master conjures up all sorts of emotions, but I can't help but wonder how something so meaningful (to most of us at least) could be tossed around so lightly. Then again Love gets thrown around alot without much thought now a days as well. Thoughts?
What I don't understand is how you can use a phrase like "I'm fine with that" and then go on to deal in so many ignorant and confused assumptions.
You assume that questions about desparation will be on point.
You assume that any relationship which began online was necessarily conducted with the very first person who came along.
First off I was asking not assuming. As has been pointed out examples abound of a submissive being "collared" after freshly becoming a member of our little community. These would appear desperate to me, but that is only my opinion which is allowed on a free forum the last time my ignorant ass checked. If my questions about desperation are not on point I was hoping to hear from people who could state otherwise with more than a high school mentality of trying to pick a fight in the hallway. I was and am speaking in generalizations and fully understand the pitfalls of such and that there can and will be exceptions. If you are one congrats, but you are from my experience in a minority.
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ORIGINAL: Noah
You assume that you know whether you would desire such a "slave" (note your derisive scare quotes) without ever even finding out who it is you're talking about or anything about them except the single fact that they happen to be willing to attempt something that quite flummoxes you.
That is not an assumption it's a fact. I would not want a "slave" that falls so hard and fast as to give herself to me after mearly reading words on a screen that I have typed or listening to my voice on a phone. I would not want one that falls that quickly in the real world either. I like for our submissives to have a bit more backbone than that. If that sounds condesending so be it. Again not speaking about any one person, just the topic in general. This seam to me to be the basis for your whole tirade. I don't know you and if all this has worked for you all the better. But it seems that people or to be more specific in this instance you get very defensive when they assume they are being criticized over thier choices.
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ORIGINAL: Noah
I mean if you can disqualify people without so much as ever having a single interaction with them of any kind, I think you are some kind of ninja warrior of long-distance relationships. That is pretty advanced stuff to be doing online, tade. For my part I have to learn a few things about a person, and some context for those things, before I can deem them utterly unworthy of me. I guess you are just that much better at this whole online thing than I am.
Well thank you for the compliment. As I said before it is quite easy for me to decide if I would not want someone as our submissive. Notice I said our's and not your's. I also know which cars I don't want, which food I don't like and the fact that I hate black licorice. If you need to testdrive a Hummer and a Mini to know which you would prefer then that's you.
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Original: Noah
You assume that something is being thrown around lightly. In many cases I'm sure it is, just as people who meet face-to-fac sometimes throw things around lightly, marry and divorce lightly. collar and de-collar lightly. I'm aware that there are plenty of instances in which the process you're talking about happens with considerable gravity and far more depth of meaning than a spate of commercial dungeon play or in any face-to-face relationships in which people withhold and mislead.
Submission happens in the mind and heart. If no one can have access to your mind or heart without being in your presence, then that is just the way it is. I'm not being facetious when I say that if that is the case I feel sorry for you.
I think you are agreeing with me here, then again I am ignorant and confused. I feel sorry for someone that can have thier mind and heart accessed by someone that has never been in their presence as well. These people should not visit pet shops, for they are the ones that come out with Great Dane puppies for thier garden apartments and Huskie's in Florida.
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Original: Noah
This is something you don't understand, and yet you cloak your "attempt at understanding" with all sorts of desultory crap.
If you didn't understand the first thing about speaking Portugese would you go to a language forum and introduce your "desire to learn about" Portugese with a lot of talk about the various ways in which anyone who speaks that language is deficient, and about how very deficient that language itself is? About how maybe it isn't even a real language at all but just some noises to make in preparation for actual speech? Maybe you would. I don't know you. Do you think that would be the most effective way to expand your knowledge?
I will again concede that my tone could have been taken as condesending, but that is just me and something I made my peace with long ago. I do understand long distance relationships. I was in one for over 2 years, but we didn't kid ourselves about what it really was. I wasn't moving, she wasn't moving, so what future did we really have? It was a fun relationship that actually kept us both from finding a real one that we could grow with more than a few visits and phone calls.
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Original: Noah
The problem here isn't semantics. It is ignorance. Yours. And I mean that in a richer sense than just your almost complete lack of knowledge.
Wow somebody needs a spanking.
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Original: Noah
There is a lot to learn here,and there are good ways to learn it. You just don't give the impression of being very sincere about wanting to.
You know there have been a few responses that were well written examples of the exceptions I spoke of earlier and to you I say best of luck and congratulations on making it through a tough and long winding road. Having "been there" myself despite what the Great and Powerful Noah might think I understand just how tough that would be and I bet that each of you would not recommend it to another if there were any way around it. But I still stand by my assumption that though using online to meet someone is a great tool, feeling so deeply as to call someone Master without ever having met them is akin to getting Married after a week or so of casual dating. Sure exceptions abound but in the end, how long do those relationships really last. Just food for thought and for the occasional hallway bully that want to fight because Mommy didnt love him enough or Daddy loved him too much. Fire away Noah, I'm to ignorant and confused to understand anyway and my complete lack of knowledge stops me from caring in the first place...
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